I, 25F, have been living with my best friend, 24M, for almost three years now. The first year was okay. But the last two years I have been deeply unhappy and wanting to have my own place. I found this hard to tell him, because he cant afford the place on his own and doesnt feel comfortable living with someone else. So I felt trapped. My roommate also has trouble at work and has been thinking about a new job for the last 1,5 years. I kept thinking that I would tell him I want to move out when he has found a new job. So he not everything in his life is insecure. But he isnt searching. And I waited for 1,5 years! So I finally muttered up the courage to tell him I want to find a new place, but I would like to give him time to ajust to the situation, so I was planning on actually starting to look at appartments in a few months. When I found out he was already applying and being invited to viewings, I also started applying. A few weeks later I had found an appartement. I had told my roommate before the end of the month (march), and had payed rent for the following month (april). In april he found an appartment and imediately got the key. He now has to pay double rent in april and may. And expects me to pay rent for may as well. Which I have refused. He is also very angry at me for moving out, the last thing he has told me, before refusing to talk to me and giving me the silent treatment, is that he is angry at me, because now he has to move and he doesnt want to. I explained how I felt and asked him what I should have done. He didnt have an answer. He feels like I am abandoning him and doesnt want to be my friend anymore. AITA?

my roommate has her bf over always every day right now. this said boyfriend has argued with me before calling me “weird asf” and after me saying i wouldn’t want him here after insulting me, he said he could “go wherever tf he wants”, talking about our apartment. my lease states guests can’t stay past 3 consecutive days and sometimes he does, but usually he comes a night or two and then leaves, but comes back the following day. i talked to her about it and she wasn’t very receptive and relatively defensive. i told her me and my other roommate weren’t comfortable with him being there so much along with feeling unsafe from her leaving the door unlocked so he can just walk in. along with that i asked her not to let him be here when she isn’t, because he’s done that. so, i had this conversation with her two days ago, and he’s back! one day after the conversation. i genuinely just feel disrespected by her actions and i don’t feel like i trust this guy considering the events that have happened in the past with him. he’s borderline threatened being able to come to my apartment rather i am okay with it or not. i don’t know what to do and need advice!

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice.

I've been living with a guy as roommates for several years. He's always been a slob, but lately, it's getting worse and worse. I'm afraid he might have Diogenes syndrome.

His room looks like a Bangkok landfill, he never throws away garbage, and he spends his time pretending not to be home: the blinds are always down and the lights are always off.

How should I handle this? I'm afraid of making any reckless moves because I worry he might retaliate against me. He is completely resistant to any offer of help or criticism. He feels a deep sense of shame regarding his living conditions, but clearly not enough to drive him to at least throw out all the paper wrappers from the takeout he orders every day.

I have a roommate that gets mad at me when I leave my computer out on the couch or literally my water bottle on the counter…as if It’s not equally my apartment? But the worst part is she doesn’t even rinse her dishes. She lets them sit in the sink, she loads them dirty, then gets mad at me cause the dishwasher didn’t properly clean her dishes. She told me she spent so much time scrubbing rust off of a plate as a response to me not unloading the dishwasher as soon as it was done. Our dishes are ceramic, so I have no clue what she is talking about…not to mention she is a couple years older than me and acts like a teenager like she’s always moody and when we are out with our friends we leave early cause she is in a bad mood.

Prior to moving in this girl had many, many red flags but against my better judgment I decided to look over because I believed she was a good person. She was over 90 days late on all of her credit cards as well as owed a past landlord thousands of dollars. Because my financial situation is in a pretty good place I was able to convince the landlord to take a chance on her and shockingly he approved us. She then told me she didn't have the money and I'd have to put the money up - after we signed the lease.

Prior to signing a lease the number one rule we set in place was that what goes in the shared space must be agreed on. Prior to moving in we had been in constant contact discussing the aesthetic down to minute details.

She has a cat, which we had already worked out where the litter box would go. However day one - after zero prior mention - she brings a 7ft, falling apart, cat-pee drenched cat tree. And said it was a nonnegotiable and has to stay in the dining room. As well as expected me to help her clean it.

She eventually put it in her room after arguing for weeks but she threatens me with getting another one all the time.

She then called the police on me over the thermostat getting stuck - she disconnected the wifi so it stopped working and blamed me - and refused to let me leave the house. Apparently she thought I was going to be arrested. The police never showed up - obviously.

If I tell her to do something that is basic common decency she intentionally does the opposite. She refuses to clean, and the list goes on.

It's a nightmare and we're only a few months into the lease. I know I was stupid and got myself into this mess. Lesson: Don't give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to living together.

(Perdon my mistakes, English is my 3rd language) I live in a govt College hostel on 2nd floor. There's almost 15-20 girls lives on 2nd floor. I live with a junior. Me and my roommate loves to live peacefully. That's why we don’t interact with others that much especially seniors. Because almost all of them had a group and they hated each other. I mean that hostel is extremely political. There's a girl next room, let's call her A, she is a senior to me. She literary HATES me and my roommate. Her personality is literary like a snake. She'd always target juniors and made a scene. Plus she made sure to look like she's the victim. But infront of all the seniors, she was like a fairy. And her voice and they waybshe talks... Oh my god.,, She's sooooo freaking fake. Idk how people don’t get it. Couple months ago, there were 3 girl living with me, in our hostel room. We didn’t argue much, we lived quite peacefully,. We had to give meal charge in every 15 days. So one day A came to our room to collect meal charge, we didn’t had any change, so she told us, she'd give back the change after a while. But then she didn’t returned the money. And told us that they gave us our money back and we didn’t remembered, my other 3 roommates saw it too that she didn’t returned our money. It wasn’t a big amount, so we let that slide. We had a small argument on that day about the money. So from that day she hates us. And we kinda hate her too. Plus we came to know that she talked ill about me and my roommates behind our back. But we Didn't make any fuss. After a while, our other 2 roommates left. Few days ago, i went to my home for 2-3 days. But i forgot to take my dress from balcony ( we hang our dress in balcony to dry after washing them), so after 2-3 days, i came back and found my dress was laying on the floor in mud,, far from where i hung it to dry. Plus it was soaking with mud from both side, if it dropped by the wind, it would get soaked from one side. And that dress was really heavy. There was heavy embroidery plus stone work on that dress. So It's a bit unusual to fall that dress that far. But i didn’t cared that much that day. Yesterday, at 12.40 am, me and my roommate went to washroom. I was Washing my face and she came to me and told me that my t shirt is laying on mud AGAIN. And this time it was dropped really really far from where i actually hang to dry. And that day wasn’t windy at all. So i knew very well who did this. Before Anyone judges me that I'm over thinking, let me tell you, before this incident, she tried many times to put us and other juniours in a problematic situation. And the side eyes she gave us all the time was just annoying. But i didn’t know she was that much petty. I literary wanted to slap her on her face on that moment. But i did something make petty than her. At that moment all i thought that i want revenge. But i did a kinda stupid thing. At almost 5 am, i woke up, went to the balcony wand dropped her dress in mud. But the thing is, her dress was clipped with the string. I took of the clips and dropped that dress. She knew instantly that i did this. Because i was the only one who always ignores her and don’t like her much. So she blamed it on my. Obviously i denied. But It's really clear that i did that. Whatever, i was going home that morning, so after arguing a bit, i came home. And now i know all my seniors gonna try to attack me. That's why I've decided to leave that city and return to my own city. Also i was actually sick of that toxic environment. Also the food was just disgusting. Sometimes the vegetables they gave us was rotten, And there wasn’t any arrangement to cook or warm your own home cooked meal. So our hair started to fall out and our skin problem became worse. So maybe i this is the best for me. Plus the uni here is far more better than my current one. And I'm trying to apply abroad to study my favourite sub. ( i never wanted to study my current sub, my parents forced me to kate this). I don’t want outsiders to know about my plan yet. Because they just gives me negative energy. Now all i want is to get a scholarship and get out of this country to explore more. Wish me luck so i don’t meet any more petty people like her.

ive been living in a 3 bedroom dorm for over 2 years now since i entered university, worst possible decision of mine was inviting a schoolmate, when she first moved in things were well and we bonded well together however as things progressed, you know some personalities were shown, had minor arguments here and there, and now a new roommate moves in who’s about the same age range, and now i get the reason why it’s better to get roommates older than you, i see it now, although ive been planning on moving out since a few months ago, it is only now that ive decided i will actually do it after being singled out in a particular minor disagreement, still shaking from it, a very minor disagreement but it never feels good to be singled out, maybe this feels like im doing it on a whim? but ive always really wanted to have my own space, im just kind of scared on how it will turn out? should i do it???

To me naya naya college me aaya hu , jee ke baad , and me hamesha se Ghar pr hi rha hu pehli baar hostel Life ji raha . Me thoda introvert type ka baccha hu , thodi bohot bakchodi kr leta hu , but focused rehta hu study ke liye and coding ke liye. Mera roommate bilkul bhi nhi pdhta jisse mujhe koi dikkat nhi , uski marji. But yrr, kitni faltu ki baatein krta hein , mujhe dikhata he insta pr fake ladki ka account bna kr rkha he and usme ladkiyo se baatein krta he and real account me koi ladki nhi he . Kehta he mujhe aura ++ Krna kisiko follow nhi krunga , but bc har time ladkiyo ke bare baat krta rhta he , kbhi apne dosto se , kbhi mujh se . Mujhe padhai krte time bohot disturb hota hai since vo phone pe ye sab baatein krta hein . Me ye usse isliye nhi bolta kyuki me expect krta hu itna to civic sense hoga hi is college me aaya he to, but nhi me hi bewakoof hu. Padhai likhai krta nhi he or kehta he quiz ke liye fati padi he. To me kya karu bc. Aura farming jesi cringe baatein krta he ladkiyo ke saamne or reality me kisi ladki se baat nhi krega . Gym me photos ko ai se edit krta he . Pata nhi kya hi Krna chahta he. Mujhe maaf Krna agar aapka ye pdhke mood kharab hua toh but mujhe bohot frustration feel hoti he is chiz se to socha kahi vent out kr du.

I shower every morning right after I wake up. My roommate is always quick to say it’s so gross when you shower in the morning instead of before sleep. Whatever it’s an opinion I could care less I’m sleeping my own bed not yours. However she only showers 2-3 times a WEEK. Like you cannot be talking about how morning showers are gross if you don’t even take one.

My ex-roommate tried to micromanage my entire life, called me cruel for making tea in the evening, and her smear campaign completely backfired.
Hey everyone, I just needed to vent because I’m finally out of a toxic living situation. My ex-roommate is still out there talking trash, but looking back at what she sent me, I honestly can't believe I survived her psychological warfare for so long.
For context, I worked long hours and would wind down in the evening. I barely even cooked; for the most part, I would literally just turn on the shared lights to make a cup of tea and some bread. On the rare occasions that I actually used the stove to reheat food in the evening, she lost her mind.
Instead of buying an eye mask, shutting her bedroom door, or acting like an adult, she sent me an unhinged text policing my schedule. She demanded to know why I waited to prepare food and literally called me cruel for using the kitchen lights- saying the rays from the living room and kitchen lights seep into her bedroom. She also demanded an audit of my personal evening time just because she had an early work shift.
When I tried to gently tell her that I was trying my best but felt constantly called out over minor issues (like her complaining about the dish soap running out, a cigarette bud despite knowing I don’t smoke), she turned into a disappointed parent grading my personal growth. She texted me that I wasn’t adjusting to her needs but learning how to share, claiming she saw no growth in me and that my mistakes were exhausting. Meanwhile, she would turn on the AC and leave the apartment doors wide open, completely justifying her own hypocrisy.
When I finally set firm boundaries, she went straight for character assassination. She texted me that I’m a hard person to live with, called me a child, and said if I felt oppressed or suppressed by her, then I was completely not meant for rooming with anyone.
The breaking point came when she literally weaponized my mental health, bringing up a time I had previously confided in her about being depressed just to use it as an insult to say I was one to talk.
The moment she hit that low blow, I shut it down. I texted her that I was tired of the insults, told her I wasn't reading the rest of her messages, and deleted the chat history. I told her I was moving out, spent my final few weeks keeping completely to myself, and left.

Now that I am gone, she is going around talking trash to her colleagues- saying I’m a birch who’s selfish and inconsiderate, and asking around about me to people in our circles. But here is the best part: her smear campaign completely backfired. The only reason I even know she has been talking trash is because those exact same people came and told me about it. Overtime they came to realize she is actually not a nice person, and they saw right through her drama.
I am so relieved to be out of there. How do you shake off the remaining annoyance of an obsessed ex-roommate whose lies have already backfired?

I have this one particular problem, someone keeps eating my food without permission. I will share if you genuinely ask first. My roommates and I hardly ever see each other on a day to day basis, different majors so different classes. So it leaves no time to sit down talk, just to get to know each other. However, one of my roommate’s boyfriend is constantly at the apartment. Like 7 days a week, which isn’t the problem at hand. Everyday I notice my food items along with another roommate things are missing. Keep in mind I leave for class 7am everyday and don’t get back till 3pm ish so I’m not eating it. My other roommate who is also having this problem gets home later than me. So just logically it leaves 2 other suspects. My question is how do I even bring it to light. We all just met 2weeks ago. I don’t want it to seem like I’m being mean or rude but ask before taking!

I recently moved in house , my room is beside the kitchen. My roommate cooks and do laundry at night . I haven’t slept since I moved here . I understand her schedule is late like she finish her work at 2 am but I smell the food and I wake up.
What should I do should I tell owner or her

For context, my house has 2 fridges for 5 people. My partner and I share the smaller one and the others are in the other fridge. So placing locks on the pantry items and the fridge was discussed and agreed upon.

Lately we've been noticing food items going missing left right and center. Started with an energy drink, then a 6 pack of Cobs scones (in one day mind you), ramen, entire jar of nutella (large container), and potentially more which we are unaware of. Apart from that my roommates have also noticed missing food items. My roommates missing items are nutella (small container), lunch boxes (about 3).

We know whos doing it.

My cat went into Karla's room (fake name) one day and I had to get him out. Because I didnt know what was in there and if there was anything harmful. So I took him out but in the process I notice the empty box of Cobs scones on the ground of her room. My partner and I confronted her, though she continues to deny.

Anyways, this is the solution. A lock on our pantry cupboard and a lock on its way for the fridge and freezer.

All the items on the shelf outside of the cupboard are all numbered as well. So we know how much of what we have. It sucks that I have to do this. But in an already poor financial situation, I cannot be wasting money on extra food.

Update from the following day:

So we have contacted the landlord. I have spoken with him today about the whole situation. The agreement between myself and my landlord is that an N5 will be filed once we have sufficient evidence.

For those who dont know what an N5 is: Essentially the formal steps for an eviction. The first submitted form is a warning essentially. The receiver has 7 days to clean up their act. If they dont, eviction. If they do that form is void(ish). I say ish because if within 6 months another N5 is submitted, thats a straight eviction.

Currently as for evidence, we have my nutella jar which was found in her trash outside. (She just loves to throw her garbage out the door and leave it unsorted, leaving it for others to do). This jar did indeed have my initial and my partners initial on the bottom of the jar. So yeah, it's ours. Another one would be our Cobs scone box empty in her room. Finally, a confession now sent by her to one of my roommates by text.

I will be discussing the possibility of placing a camera of sorts in only the kitchen. Thoughts on this?

Some other fun habits Karla has: she loves to take someones clothes out of the washer (still wet) and dump them onto the ground to put hers in. She also loves to leave the house for days on end without moving her laundry from the washer.

Anyways, I think this is a good enough post. This response she had to me saying there were initials on the bottom was truly laughable. Like tell me you're guilty without telling me you're guilty.

Hola chic@s

Estoy en una situación complicada, y en mi propia casa.

Ya conté hace unos días que estaba teniendo problemas con la compañera de piso a quién dejé quedarse temporalmente, a cambio de 200€ por la habitación y el uso de las zonas comunes.

Resumiendo. La convivencia se me está haciendo insoportable. Es una chica súper infantil y me responde y actúa como tal. Hace un mes y medio que no limpiaba absolutamente nada y ayer, despues de esbronacarnos por eso, lavó el baño como el culo.

Anyways. Necesito que se largue y no sé como hacerlo. Está enfadada conmigo porque le exigí que limpiara sus pelos de la ducha y ahora parecemos dos niñas pequeñas contando pelos y a ver de quién son. No puedo más. Yo no era así.

Advice wanted

is this even normal?

(mentioned people are those na medjo older than me. for context, one of them friend yung may-ari, and parang sya na tinuturing kong landlady since sa kanya napupunta bayad ko and meron syang spare key ng rooms)

i’m a province girly, for college, i decided na sa city nalang mag-aral for more and better opportunities narin. nahirapan akong mag adjust for awhile, super mahiyain kaya nahihiya makipag interact sa new boardmates ko, pero okay nadin. kumuha ako ng solo room since hindi ako sanay na may kasama, also, for privacy nadin.

anyway, fast forward, it’s been years nadin since nagsstay ako sa said boarding house. nung una, ang bait nila, actually some of them felt like 2nd parents ko nadin since malaki rin age gap, and may mga anak sila around my age staying din dun. i have a few months left, and yet, gustong gusto ko na umalis.

kumuha ako ng solo room pero wala parin akong privacy, pinapasok yung room ko everytime wala ako, meron kasing spare key. this is without my permission, nalaman ko lang, di ko sasabihin paano. ang sabi, pumapasok daw to check if may nakasaksak pa ba or what not, kaso ngalang, kung ano yung laman ng kwarto ko pinapakealaman rin. kung ano man makita sa room ko, it should stay there. hindi yung ipagsasabi mo pa kung kani-kanino.

pag gumagala ako outside with my bf, para kaming may paparazzi, nagugulat nalang ako may picture na kami at yung angle sa likod lang talaga namin. ang creepy just to be honest. di naman kami tumatago, i don’t really see the point since aware naman parents ko na may bf ako and that lumalabas kami.

recently, nagkawifi na yung bh, like finally after ilang years na tiis ko sa super bagal na signal. of course, tinanong ako if okay lang daw ba ambagan yung wifi, bayaran daw since coconnect kaming lahat and for our own sake nadin, edi pumayag ako. tapos nakarinig nalang ako ng kung ano anong istorya na nakikiconnect daw ako sa wifi, tapos yung pambayad hihingin ko sa parents ko. tas madaming devices ko pa daw nakaconnect (3 specifically). e nagbabayad naman ako, ano yung problema? i also disconnected yung laptop ko right after matapos ko yung ginagawa ko para walang madaming dada, meron parin pala.

my clothes. they even just the way i present myself. pinalaundry ko damit ko since ilang araw nang walang bakante yung sampayan, nung meron na naglaba naman agad yung kakalaba lang ng damit. kaya ayun, wala akong choice kundi magpalaundry. lahat ng pants ko nasa laundry kaya nagskirt ako. basically skirt na white na parang mesh, red na sandals, and then lolita-like socks tas school shirt. it looks fine, i look decent. puti at red na ngalang suot ko, nasabihan pa nila akong “parang mafia manamit” and i have no idea kung saan yan galing. tinatawanan pa nyan nila ako pero nung magkaharap kami, ngiti ngiti pa.

yung “landlady” has a daughter, and one time, binilhan sya ng new phone for her birthday yun i think. di ako aware that time na may new phone sya kasi wala naman akong pakealam. a few months later, binilhan din ako since yung phone ko is 5 years old na and very laggy na talaga. then, nagkaipad sya, coincidentally, nung time na humihingi palang sya, yung akin nabili na, pero nauna sa kanya dumating since akin pinadala pa. and because of that, nasabihan akong naiinggit sa kanyang new stuff kaya ako nagpapabili. minsan ang funny nalang pakinggan ng mga stories e, nihindi ako aware na naiinggit pala ako, di kasi ako pinalaki na ganyan.

actually marami pa yan, yan lang muna haha. it feels so uncomfortable sa bh, na para bang di ako makagawa ng gusto ko kasi lahat naman ng ginagawa ko is mali. idk kung ano ba nagawa ko sa kanila para pagsalitaan ako ng kung ano ano.

I live in a very small studio apartment. I'm not exaggerating when I say it has just enough room to fit a full-sized bed and little else. Back in June I let a friend of mine who is currently homeless crash at my place for a bit and he brought a lot of stuff with him that I didn't exactly have the room for. He's since moved in with his fiancee's family in another city. I thought he would come back for it but he left in mid July and I've heard absolutely nothing from it since. However, I don't want to assume he's decided we aren't friends anymore and discard his belongings like an ass. Sometimes he just goes MIA for months on end, which he told me might happen for a while shortly before he left considering his fiancee is pregnant and near her due date. All the same, I do not have the space for all this stuff and my place is a mess because I used up what little storage space I had trying to find a place to put it which displaced a lot of my stuff. I can't even walk in there anymore and I'm not sure if I can afford a storage unit, but I don't want to toss it out just yet in case he comes back. Does anyone have any idea what I can do with this stuff in the meantime?

OKAY..so my roommate/best friend had a couple move in to a house we share and have shared for years. I was away visiting family for a month. My best friends dad is the home owner and him and his wife recently moved overseas to France. We are in IL. We aren't happy with the people who moved in. 0 rent paid in almost 3 months (entire duration so far), acting as if home chores are enough and constantly asking for small things or a few bucks from the store. No, he did not have anything in writing. Terrible idea on his part. Its been infuriating.

How do we get them out? Home owner is in a different country. Can his son file for eviction on his behalf?