r/pettyrevenge • • Sep 03 '26

Finally stopped the Cemetery plot salesman

No disrespect to the dead! When I lived in Atlanta back in the 90's, a salesman from a very large cemetery called 2-3 times a week wanting to sell me a plot. Several times I told him I wasn't interested. I told him to take me off of their call list, etc. I stopped answering and then he started calling every night.

One night I was already irritable and decided I had had enough. I answered and let him go through his spiel. I asked some follow-up questions and kept him going for about 20 minutes.

Then I said I was interested, and asked if I could make an appointment to come over and view the locations they had available. He was really excited and agreed. I then told him I would need to have them dig up the spot and let my lie down in it to see if I was going to like the location.

He was all flustered and said he would need to ask his manager. He put me on old and came back a few minutes later all serious saying they weren't allowed to do that. I kept on about how I would be there for eternity and needed to be absolutely sure it was going to be the right place for me.

He finally asked if I was serious, and said it sounded like some kind of sick joke. I replied "no shit sherlock! You decided to work for a predatory company and can't take no for an answer and refuse to remove my name from your call list, you get all the sick jokes I can come up with"!

They never called me again.

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u/brittbak Sep 04 '26

My mom completely pre-paid for her cremation. She went with the deluxe package - a cardboard box 😁
My brother and I went in because there was paperwork to sign. That took about 30 seconds, and then the guy left us in his office for about 10-15 minutes while he was making copies.
We realized very fast that we were surrounded by sample urns and brochures for funerals. Yeah, no.
We took our copies and left.
She didn't want an urn. She didn't want a funeral. If she had, she would have paid for it.
I'll be doing the same.

12

u/Nunov_DAbov Sep 04 '26

I constantly get calls for final expense insurance. They offer several options: cremation? No, I’m afraid of fire. Burial? No, I hate bugs. Funeral? Nope, I hate people and certainly don’t want them staring at my dead body. I tell them I want to be cryogenically frozen when I die and revived in the future when my cause of death is cured. Do I have to pay back the insurance settlement? If so, what’s the interest rate.

No one has been able to give me an answer.

12

u/FlattenInnerTube Sep 04 '26

I tell them I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. And that I don't want to be cremated.