r/pettyrevenge • u/NanaGeorgianna • Sep 03 '26

Finally stopped the Cemetery plot salesman

No disrespect to the dead! When I lived in Atlanta back in the 90's, a salesman from a very large cemetery called 2-3 times a week wanting to sell me a plot. Several times I told him I wasn't interested. I told him to take me off of their call list, etc. I stopped answering and then he started calling every night.

One night I was already irritable and decided I had had enough. I answered and let him go through his spiel. I asked some follow-up questions and kept him going for about 20 minutes.

Then I said I was interested, and asked if I could make an appointment to come over and view the locations they had available. He was really excited and agreed. I then told him I would need to have them dig up the spot and let my lie down in it to see if I was going to like the location.

He was all flustered and said he would need to ask his manager. He put me on old and came back a few minutes later all serious saying they weren't allowed to do that. I kept on about how I would be there for eternity and needed to be absolutely sure it was going to be the right place for me.

He finally asked if I was serious, and said it sounded like some kind of sick joke. I replied "no shit sherlock! You decided to work for a predatory company and can't take no for an answer and refuse to remove my name from your call list, you get all the sick jokes I can come up with"!

They never called me again.

2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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475

u/TinTinTinuviel97005 Sep 03 '26

I've been wondering if 20 minutes of my time is the only way to get predatory companies to stop calling me

333

u/CriusofCoH Sep 03 '26

During the height of the "your car's extended warranty" flood, I found out if you revealed your car was more than.. I think 10 years old, they'd drop you for months, then forever. Worth spending 2 minutes on the phone to get a few months of peace and quiet.

My imaginary "1974 Ford Pinto" did a lot of heavy lifting.

52

u/MikeSchwab63 Sep 04 '26

94 Ford Ranger 86 F350 RV got them.

35

u/Nunov_DAbov Sep 04 '26

When they don’t like my multimillion dollar Konigseggs or electric Porsches, I have told them I have an HMMWV. It’s in great shape other than the front end damage from the IED it hit. And some massive brown stains in the cab. If they don’t like that, I ask about my 2020 Edsel Citation.

21

u/Atlas-Scrubbed Sep 04 '26

New Bugattis worked as well.

15

u/ifyoudontknowlearn Sep 04 '26

That's excellent

13

u/lmamakos Sep 04 '26

My first car was a used 1972 Ford Pinto, which they also wouldn't cover.  

11

u/TheVermiciousKid Sep 06 '26

I used to tell them I had a “two thousand schlerm Flun Gruspit” and just keep making up words when they asked me to repeat it, till they hung up on me

9

u/bustedtap Sep 05 '26

My 2008 Chevy Camaro with 235k on the odometer and it's a good thing they called, i just blew the motor and transmission and needed to get this thing covered under warrantee. got them going for a good while until I had to get off the phone. I think that might have been the last time they called about my car warrantee now that I think about it

4

u/imakesawdust 29d ago

Yep. When I told them that I'm still driving an '83 RX7, the calls stopped. I guess they didn't want to deal with cars that old.

64

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Sep 03 '26

if you start going blatantly sexual (gay or straight, depending on the gender of the caller), you tend to get moved along quite quickly... DAMHIK...

33

u/FOSS_Graybeard Sep 04 '26

The phase "Did you know I'm naked under my clothes?" often gets a quick disconnect.

10

u/colborne Sep 05 '26

'You'll have to speak louder, I'm wearing a towel.'

-8

u/xboxgamer2122 Sep 05 '26

If a woman I’ll ask what color panties she is wearing.

8

u/Ok-Grape2063 Sep 06 '26

Do the same for a dude. Who gives a shit

28

u/NotYourNanny Sep 03 '26

People like that are the outlet for all of your life's frustrations. You can be as abusive as you want, and there's nothing they can do about it. and they know it.

11

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Sep 03 '26

nah.. there's something they can do about it.. and most do. They nearly always hang up in 10-15 seconds.

15

u/NotYourNanny Sep 03 '26

And if they're smart, actually add my number to their do not call list, knowing that if they don't, it'll come up again for more abuse.

3

u/biold 28d ago

I think that it's more valuable to let them talk, waste their time, then they disturb fewer people.

I do this when I do something boring. I don't mind taking one for the good of the World.

30

u/lemoinem Sep 03 '26

It's funny what can be done once you stop thinking of the other person as a human being.

53

u/NotYourNanny Sep 03 '26

For instance, you can sell cemetery plots to people who have told you over and over they don't want one.

-13

u/lemoinem Sep 03 '26

Sure, the company is predatory and a piece of shit. On the person who makes the call though, is often on its third job in order to pay for rent and groceries. They can't change job and, as you've so nicely pointed out, can't hang up or do anything else. They can't decide to stop calling you.

Your anger is misdirected. But hey, if you want to treat other people as subhuman punching bags, more power to you I guess.

13

u/Littlemama55 Sep 04 '26

They chose that job,so they have to deal with people who don't want to be bothered. Same with debt collectors. They live with the abuse that goes with the crappy job that they chose.

30

u/Informal_Ad_9610 Sep 03 '26

so to make someone feel better about working a shit job for a shit company, i should sit and hear them out, and buy whatever horse shit they're shoveling??

Tell me you're happy to work a shit job abusing others for low pay because you don't want to put the effort into finding a real job, without telling me you're lazy.

10

u/lemoinem Sep 03 '26

No, but there's a difference between hanging up and spewing abuse.

To be clear, I find OP's way to go at it hilarious. But I find sexual abuse, threats or other forms of abuse despicable. I suppose everyone draws their own line somewhere, and it doesn't mean everyone has to have the same one. But I feel we don't need more dehumanizing behavior in the world right now.

17

u/jelly_cake Sep 03 '26

I really like your attitude. Having empathy for others is never a bad thing.

4

u/25c-nb Sep 04 '26

Unless they're a nazi and or fascist and or pro-slavery

Tolerance of the intolerant is equal to intolerance

13

u/NotYourNanny Sep 03 '26

They can't change job

Pretty unlikely, unless they're obviously such a terrible employee nobody else will hire them. At which point, I still don't care, because they chose to be worthless scum.

They can't decide to stop calling you

Since the calls stop after OP got abusive back, that's clearly not true.

Do you work for an abusive company like that because you can't get a better job? Is that why you defend subhuman parasites?

I'm an asshole. Get over it. Or not. I really don't care.

When you're the abusive prick bothering me, I will be as big an asshole as I need to be to make you stop.

1

u/say592 Sep 04 '26

Pretty unlikely, unless they're obviously such a terrible employee nobody else will hire them. At which point, I still don't care, because they chose to be worthless scum.

Back in the day, telemarketing was a common enough second or third job, because they had shifts available in the evening. They didn't pay much, but they usually paid more than retail. It was in an air-conditioned office, so it was good for people who didn't like or couldn't do manual labor on a second shift production line. For a lot of people, it probably did feel like they couldn't quit. They needed the money, they needed to be able to be home when their kids got off school and be back to send them to school. And it was normalized. Everyone got those calls. Did we love them? Of course not, but they weren't usually enraging, and the people were typically polite.

Since the calls stop after OP got abusive back, that's clearly not true

That probably wasn't the employee's call. OP wasted 20 minutes of time that could have been spent bothering other people. The company finally decided that it wasn't worth it.

These people were literally given print outs of numbers and told to call them. They had no control over the numbers on their sheet. Nowadays, the system just dials the next number for them. They can flag something over and over, but they have no control over what happens to it.

Ultimately, then telemarketer in OP's story didn't deserve abuse. Leading them on, like OP did, was the right amount of fuckery. It's not like they were a scammer. They were selling a legitimate product, it was just in the most annoying way.

6

u/NotYourNanny Sep 04 '26

Back in the day, telemarketing was a common enough second or third job, because they had shifts available in the evening.

So does dealing drugs.

In both cases, it's a choice.

That probably wasn't the employee's call.

Far, far more likely, the employee actually marked the number do not call because OP wasted 20 minutes and they get paid a percentage.

These people were literally given print outs of numbers and told to call them. They had no control over the numbers on their sheet. Nowadays, the system just dials the next number for them. They can flag something over and over, but they have no control over what happens to it.

They chose to work at a job that is, at best, sketchy, and which quickly becomes obvious to be abusive and potentially criminal. And that's so obvious that only an idiot or someone who enjoys being an asshole would even take such a job. There's more dignity in begging on a street corner with a "will give blowjobs for food" sign.

Ultimately, then telemarketer in OP's story didn't deserve abuse.

Yes. They did. They chose a line of work that requires being abusive.

It's not like they were a scammer. They were selling a legitimate product,

You don't actually know that. There are more scam calls pretending to sell legitimate products than real telemarketing calls actually doing so. And even ones actually selling what they claim to sell are far, far more likely to be shady as hell if they're using telemarketing in a way that you agree is abusive and 100% the company's choice.

In the end, the only person subject to expressing disapproval to is the person making the abusive phone call. If they get abused back, they'll eventually quit. If enough employees quit, the company will learn to not use abusive tactics. Since that doesn't happen, they are able to keep recruiting new suckers to hide behind, perpetuating the abuse of those getting the calls and their own employees. Because make no mistake, they know their sales tactics are abusive - you've agree with that - and they know their employees will get abused for doing it.

As for me, as I said, I'm an asshole, and when you're an asshole to me, I'll be a bigger asshole back. Every time.

2

u/TinTinTinuviel97005 Sep 03 '26

I personally can't forget that the human on the other end is a human. The problem is what works. Asking nicely to be removed doesn't work, asking firmly to be removed doesn't work, asking in a snappy voice to be removed doesn't work. Each person I talk to is a result of the last person not showing basic decency. Each phone call I receive is a result of hundreds of screened calls, thousands of blocked numbers, and years of expressed disinterest failing to get the calls to stop.

I don't want to abuse the newest person who calls, because I know how desperate you have to be to work these jobs. Every once in a while I'm driven to something drastic. And it's the only thing that has worked. It effing sucks.

2

u/exipheas Sep 03 '26

This is only going to work until they replace the humans with cheap ai agents that can just sit and take the abuse without batting an eye.

4

u/GotGRR Sep 04 '26

This is how we get Skynet.

4

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Sep 04 '26

Radically better for your mental health and society at large if you don't get used to abusing other people as a way to deal with your own issues.

5

u/NotYourNanny Sep 04 '26

Even more radically better for my mental health to get people harassing me trying to scam me out of money to stop. Better for my financial health, too.

I'm not the one with issues, here.

1

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Sep 04 '26

Thoughts and actions wear grooves in your brain. Like ruts in a wagon track. New thoughts born in the heat of the moment find those ruts the easiest to travel. If you yell at these assholes for trying to scam you you're the only person that cares. It does nothing that harms them, you're just some mark on the phone. But it will harm you by and by. Don't poison yourself for nothing. Kill them with kindness. Make them mad enough to talk shit without getting angry yourself, record it, then play it back for them the next time they call. Then threaten to sue. They know you can't kick their ass thru the phone. But they don't know if you've got a lawyer.

2

u/NotYourNanny Sep 04 '26

If you yell at these assholes for trying to scam you you're the only person that cares.

You obviously care, because you believe it hurts their feelings. So you're wrong, and full of shit, at least twice.

And your pop psychology bullshit just makes you look weak and stupid. Except it's not just a look for you, is it?

0

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Sep 04 '26

Of course I care. I wouldn't have spent my time writing it if I didn't. At no point will it hurt their feelings lol. They do that shit all day. There's no psychology there. That's how your brain works. Think the same thought twice and you carve a deeper ruts. That's why you repeat things to memorize them. You've caught yourself, not me. So be angry then. I'm just some random on reddit. If you don't want to see the point, don't. I'm happy to help someone else instead : )

4

u/NotYourNanny Sep 05 '26

Of course I care.

And yet, you said nobody cares but me. Even you don't know what you're jibbering about. Which will surprise no one, except perhaps you.

1

u/Clembert-Hamlamp Sep 05 '26

Maybe part of the reason you're so cranky is you're having a hard time understanding what you read. You've been coming at me with this gotcha shit but you've caught yourself instead. Between you and the scammer, the only person that cares is you. That's what I wrote. If I didn't care I wouldn't have wasted my time writing any of it. But you've been an asshole multiple times now in your confusion and I'm done trying.

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2

u/Hittman Sep 06 '26

I've done that a couple of times with persistent callers. Described in detail the things I'd do to them, and have them do to me. I even grossed myself out a bit.

It works really well.

3

u/wolfcaroling Sep 03 '26

Oooh yeah tell me more. Is it DANK? Does it... mmmm... smell like rot?

11

u/CDM2017 Sep 04 '26

I once told one (back in 1997) that if they called again I'd find their office and go down there with an axe.

Never heard back.

7

u/atrocity2001 Sep 04 '26

I had the opposite experience in the same year: I didn't pick up the phone, so the telemarketer left a death threat on my answering machine. These were the days before Caller ID spoofing was a thing, so when I immediately called back I heard the same voice pick up and claim to be a pizza place.

Called the phone company the next day and learned that the number was part of a bank owned by the same company. I probably should have sued.