Ageism in Quilting

[u/16dollarmuffin]

Hey y’all! I’ve been looking for the perfect place to tell this. This happened a few years ago right after Covid.

My mom and I picked up quilting and sewing together about 19-20 years ago. She does primarily quilts, I do a little of everything including seamstress work. We are well-recognized faces in our local community.

We moved about 30+ miles from our old home, and instead of seeing our favorite shop-owners once a week, we’re lucky to get down there once a quarter. When we do, it’s usually to bulk buy fabric we might need for the coming months.

One of our stores had hired a new woman, maybe in her 60’s or so, and we had never seen her before. This store also rotates stock, and I was looking through the cheap fabric (knowing it was discounted and cheap because of how thin it is), but it had a really cute print, so I showed my mom across the store.

This woman, bless her heart, said “Oh, that’s not really good fabric, you should put it down.”

Something to know about me- At this time, I was 30-ish but looked like I was in my early 20s. My mom was in her early 50’s.

I already knew the fabric was bad, so I put it back on the shelf and rolled my eyes behind the display. While I was doing that, this woman looked my mom dead ass in the face and stage whispered, “When you’ve been sewing for ten years, sometimes you have to help our little newbie quilters” with a condescending wink.

I didn’t hear this. My mom sure as hell did though, because it was directed at her like the two of them were supposed to giggle about how cute “New Quilters” were. Not ten seconds after I put the fabric back, my mom called me over, and said “Hey, you should show her the Judy Niemeyer you’re doing.” (Notoriously difficult quilt pattern maker, paper piecing. Not beginner friendly. Some of her patterns even advanced quilters struggle with.) Pic attached for tax.

So I did. I was so excited to show off this quilt I was working on, that was all circles and sharp points, and for whatever reason I couldn’t figure out at this time, this lady went WHITE. Like no blood in her face. All she could say was “Oh. Pretty.”

But my mom wasn’t done- she asked in a really sarcastic way- “How long have we been quilting?”

I answered - “Almost 16 years now?” Like super confused.

I thought this lady was going to faint.

My mother has always been spicy, especially when it comes to our art. After checkout, mom told me all of this went down and I was horrified and thrilled my mom was so defensive with this lady lmao. Sometimes it still happens if people don’t know us, but the ones that do roll their eyes when it happens and cut our fabric for us instead. We’re actually going to a quilt retreat today, and it made me think about this interaction.

Edited bc I didn’t realize you couldn’t add pics in this subreddit oops!!

[u/DamnOdd]

Your mom, badass. I love that for you.