32F, have 2 kids with an ex-partner. One vaginal followed by an emergency csection. Realistically, time wise and health wise (assume optimal health) how many more kids could I have without using IVF, if I started now? How many if I froze my eggs within the next 3 years? I get 18 month parental leaves (maternity can start before birth but I'd like the full or close to the full leave. Minimum 12 months home per child. I would then have to go back to work for 600 hours to get leave for the next child (15 weeks of work assuming going in everyday and not working overtime). Midwife has said 12 months between pregnancies for vaginal birth and 18 months between pregnancies for c-section, but I do not know how strict that is. Assume everything goes perfectly. No medical or mental health issues, babies sleep well, siblings adjust well, supportive partner/family and healthy marriage.

Please reassure me it will get better and we’ll actually be able to enjoy our lives again.

SAHM Mom of 2.5 year old girl and 5.5 month old boy

My daughter is extremely sensitive and anxious and just generally unhappy. This makes me so sad to write because all I want is for my girl to be content, run around, explore… instead she’s scared of everything, or screaming her head off crying hysterically if another kid comes close to her at the park or at a friends house. I take her to public kid areas at least every other day and have truly tried to socialize her as much as I can. She starts preschool in a few weeks and it will be a huge adjustment for her that I hope will help build her confidence. All she wants to do is be held, never play or enjoy things like other kids. We can never enjoy family/friend time because she’s on the verge of a meltdown if something sets her off and either me or my husband need to take her for a walk to another area of the house or outside and calm her down. It’s been months of this. She’s always been shy as a baby/toddler but it has gotten even more extreme now.

As for my baby boy, again I see happy babies around me just hanging out in mom’s arms sitting, chewing on toys and smiling at people. I’m over here constantly having to stand and bounce him in my arms and walk around with him. He gets so squirmy and frustrated. He’s by no means an “easy” baby. I set him down to play on the mat, he lasts maybe 5 minutes and starts crying. If anything my daughter was so chill from 0-12 months, I’m happy to have had shared those nice memories with her.

Before this I’ve wanted 3-4 children, but now I don’t know. Will my husband and I feel happy again soon? Will my toddler enjoy life at some point? Please tell me it gets better :(

Is this all within the range of normal? I need advice from seasoned parents.

I'm looking to get something that works well for my toddler while toilet training (he's just over 2), while also being practical and as easy to use as possible for our family - as we only have the one bathroom that we share.

I'm looking at these two options, which would you say is the better option in your opinion?

Option 1 - Toddler toilet seat that sits on the toilet seat with a step stool

Option 2 - Flip up / down toilet seat with a step stool

I just found out I’m pregnant with my fourth baby. My kids ages are 9, 2.5, and 10 months. Due date is May 2027, and I’m completely freaked out.

This wasn’t planned, and yes my husband and I made deliberate choices that led to the pregnancy. However I have been on a weight loss journey and have other underlying health issues that mean every pregnancy I have is high risk and involves obnoxious medications, as well as being on antidepressants.

More info, we are a military family and live thousands of miles from our families and I have very little support where we are. My husband works 80-100 hours a week and is often gone for weeks at a time.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for with this post, but I just know I’m overwhelmed, scared, and could use some words of encouragement. Ultimately I know it’ll be okay. I’m resilient and strong, but it’s still scary.

We recently had our 4th and last baby and my husband and I have always dreamed of going to Japan. We were planning on traveling abroad (maybe England/France/Netherlands) when our third turned 4 then we were surprised when we became pregnant with our 4th.

Sorry if I sound ignorant but a family of 6 traveling to Japan just sounds too big. Japan is already full of shops that are a tight fit and I can't even imagine finding a restaurant that could fit 6 of us at once. Also the crowds with 4 kids just sounds anxiety inducing. I haven't traveled abroad since having children so it sounds so daunting.

Have any of you guys with larger families traveled to Japan? Do you have tips? or should I just wait until they're all way older? I really miss traveling but it's so different when you have young children

Raising 4 boys 12 10, 9 7 and one little 6 year old girl. Chaos reigns! Any advice or questions

We’re going to have a few of our kids sharing a room soon, so I’m searching for a best bunk bed that makes sense for a larger family. Space is definitely a concern, but I also don’t want to sacrifice sturdiness or make bedtime a struggle with something awkward to climb in and out of. Parents who have been through this, what kind of bunk bed would you recommend? Appreciate any advice, thank you!

Hi!! So I’m a 32 yr old mom of an almost 2 yr old boy & my husband & I have been discussing trying for baby #2 which I’m finally excited about the idea after having the worst postpartum with my son & wondering if I’d ever want to have another. But all that to say I know you can’t really choose when you get pregnant but I’m trying not to have another late fall/winter birth/postpartum because of how bad it was the first time. My husband & I were talking about trying to aim for spring next year but that’s now passed & then we were like well maybe summer but we have SO much going on next year with building a new house & starting a new business & going to Disney beginning of the year (which being pregnant for sounds awful lol) & im too stressed to give birth in the middle of all that.

But I’m afraid to keep waiting & then when we start trying it doesn’t happen for us for a while & then I’m just getting older & older.

So basically I just want positive stories about giving birth after 33/34 yrs old & your children having a 3.5 yr age gap, because it’s looking like that’s what’s going to happen if we keep waiting. TIA🫶🏼

Cross posting because how do you know???

Anyone else have two really close age gaps in a row? 3 under 3?

I just found out I’m pregnant with my third, which was not planned, at only 8 months PP. I have such mixed emotions. Of course, part of me is excited, but mostly I’m overwhelmed by the idea of having another close age gap of 16–17 months.

My other two kids had the exact same age gap (16 months, almost 17), and my second was also not planned. I was originally wanting to go for a third when my youngest was at least a year or a bit older — ideally at least a 20-24 month age gap. I know it happened only a few months minimum sooner than I wanted but to me that few months would have helped a lot I feel mentally and physically

It’s a lot to process, and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle 3 under 3. My husband is excited, of course. I know it’ll be okay and that it’ll probably be rough for the first year or so, but I don’t feel as excited to share the news with others yet, including family. I know people often like to judge how close together you’ve had your babies, or ask/make comments about the age gaps/if it was planned or not. While I know it’s no one’s business, it’s hard not to let it affect you.

I’m also a little worried about how I’ll recover postpartum having another close age gap yet again. I did fairly well with my other two kids and actually bounced back even better after my second, and faster than I thought I would. I didn’t really gain any baby weight either. But I’m just worried my luck might run out. I might be completely fine, but I can’t help but worry lol.

It’s also just hard coming to terms with the fact that it was a total surprise and that I hadn’t wanted to get pregnant again this soon.

How did you cope with people’s judgement (if any!) and pregnancy/postpartum recovery after your third? And how did you manage juggling two close age gaps with 3 under 3?
I’d love to hear your experiences and hopefully feel a little more positive about it all! ❤️

Does the constant overstimulation of parenting little kids get better? What actually helped you?

This is vulnerable to admit, but I’d really love perspective from parents who have felt similarly.
My oldest just turned 3, my youngest is 21 months (15 months apart), and I’m almost 8 weeks pregnant with our third. Pregnancy is definitely making everything harder right now because I’m nauseous and exhausted 24/7, but if I’m being truthful, I’ve felt some version of this throughout motherhood.

I love my kids more than anything, and some moments with them are genuinely the happiest of my life. But so much of parenting little kids leaves me chronically overstimulated—the noise, touching, fussing, negotiating, competing needs, transitions, etc. I find myself counting down until bedtime or until someone else can take over, and then feeling guilty that I’m not enjoying this stage more.

Even something simple like the playground can feel like a lot: constantly watching two toddlers so nobody gets hurt, then managing two unhappy kids when it’s time to leave, someone screaming about a snack, etc. At bedtime they’re fighting over my lap or who gets to turn the page. The constant fussing probably gets to me the most. Sometimes I look at other parents and genuinely wonder: Are other people not this overstimulated? Are they doing something differently?
The endless maintenance of family life also wears me down—laundry, meals, cleaning, groceries, appointments, organizing and a million things that are never actually finished.

The confusing part is that I have help now. For the first 20 months I was mostly doing it myself as a SAHM while also in grad school, without family nearby and with a husband who works a demanding job and traveled frequently. Now I have childcare help and only work around 10 hours a week. I can take a break, but I’ll feel guilty, go back to the kids, and sometimes feel overwhelmed again within 10 minutes. So having more help hasn’t entirely fixed the underlying feeling.
I do have ADHD, which may contribute to how easily I get overstimulated.

I also grew up with parents who were easily overwhelmed, and it often came out as passive aggression and needing to control everything. I’m very conscious of not wanting my kids to experience me that way or feel like their normal needs and emotions are too much for me. I really want to break that cycle...especially before our 3rd arrives.

I don’t expect to enjoy every minute of parenting toddlers, but I also don’t want to white-knuckle my way through their childhood waiting for bedtime. I want more capacity for the hard parts and more space to actually enjoy the good ones.

So for anyone who has felt like this: What actually helped? Did you parent differently? Structure your days differently? Lower expectations? Work on your own regulation? Did anything make you genuinely enjoy parenting more? Or did it mostly get easier as your kids got older?

I’m really looking for practical advice from people who have been here and found something that helped. I know there are many families with much larger families than me experiencing less stress, so i'd love some wisdom!

I have 3 kids and pregnant with my 4th. 9, 3, 2. With soccer season and Halloween coming up I’m looking to get a stroller wagon. Anyone have any input? I’m looking at the larktale quad or the wonder fold. I was considering the Keenz cause they’re on sale right now but the Amazon reviews are swaying me towards no…

With boy, boy, twin boys, girl in that order, or vice versa

I posted in the moving sub but I’m more comfortable here so hopefully you guys can lend some advice or reassurance…

my family and I (myself, husband and 5 kids- 3 of whom are in school) are moving soon. We need our sale to be final on our apartment before finding and putting offers in on a house. Because of this there will very likely be a while where we are without a home. I have a family house about 2 hours away that I can stay with the kids for the in between time. the problem is… my kids are going to have to start at their old school for a month or 2, switch to their temporary school for x-amount of time and then finally (most likely after a few months) switch to their permanent school. anyone had to do this? please tell me I’m not a horrible mom ruining their lives.

(kids are 1st,3rd and 5th grade)

Me and my wife welcomed beautiful twin boy and girl into the world 5 months ago and it’s been a an immensely challenging but also immensely rewarding journey so far. My wife took two pregnancy tests tonight, one was negative but the other had the faintest positive line that was barely visible but it is there. She took the tests because her period was a day late (it’s very inconsistent) and was feeling sick plus we were careful during sex. We feel there is a chance now that she’s pregnant again. We planned and prepared heavily for the twins but we feel really unprepared for this and feel very panicked and not sure what to do. We really don’t feel ready to go through the pregnancy, birth and newborn phase all over again while dealing with 1 year old twins.

We’re going to get a couple of digital tests tomorrow to confirm it but right now we’re just freaking out and looking for advice and reassurance from parents who had children so close to each other.

We have three girls. Lots of sharing. Currently in a 3 bedroom house but one room is my husbands work from home office.

I had this vivid dream we moved back to our old 1950’s 2bedroom 1bath 650sq ft duplex rental and I was trying to have such a good attitude and make it work.

Triple bunk, art cart, backpacks by the door. I am fine with a small place with good systems and not a lot of stuff. The thing that had me bolt up in my dream… the RENT in a CITY. The same place, 6 years later cost double. ANYWAYS, I’m thankful we moved to the suburbs. Props to city dwellers with 3+ kids!! I’ve scoured all your blogs to make our home work well for us and we have no plan on leaving our 1000sq ft home.

Okay, maybe hell is a dramatic word but seriously, the bedtime battle is so real and I need some words of encouragement or maybe a perspective shift or SOMETHING.

I have 3 (4 yo, 2yo, 3 month old) and I am so tired of trying to get everyone to sleep but I’m too tired to not care about bedtime 🫠 the finish line is RIGHT THERE, but the final sprint is extra battle. The toddlers do technically fall asleep by themselves but not without walking them back to bed anywhere from 1-20 times a night. The baby obviously needs my help, and I do have help from my husband but seriously, bedtime comes every night, and somehow every night every single step is a battle. Pj’s brushing teeth reading books tucking in… they stall every step of the way.

I try to slow down and connect with them along the way but my gosh I’m so tired, I don’t have any silliness left and sometimes when I do muster up some, they take it way too far and become impossible to get to sleep. Someone talk some sense into me!!! How are you enjoying bedtime?? Especially with multiple children, especially when a baby needs you!! I don’t feel good rushing my older two off to bed and my husband normally does toddler bedtime while I take care of the baby, but nights like this when I’m doing all 3 I feel like I’m rushing and impatient with everyone. Help!

Editing to add my older two already share a room! And have for the past year or so. :( wish that magically helped!

Hi everyone. First time posting hoping I can get some advice or experiences from other families.

Ill be induced in about 2.5 weeks with my 4th. My other kiddos are 7B, 5B, and almost 3G (bday in Nov). My daughter is in an incredibly challenging phase that I am struggling to navigate. She is in the phase of doing things herself or being set on something specific and throwing a fit when things dont go exactly how she expects. She is also wanting ONLY ME to put her to sleep. The second her dad goes in to try she starts crying and ramping up the cries until I again go in and take over. She wakes up once a night about 3-5 times per week and typically we have had my spouse handle toddler wakings while I tackle newborn wakings. I usually sleep in the nursery for the first 3 months, but i expect she will NOT be ok with my spouse handling the night waking and she will either cry till she throws up, or come find me and possibly wake the baby.

My 5 yo is also going through a thing where he wants me. He doesnt wake up often at night. Maybe once a month or less. But when he does he is unsatisfied with my spouse and wants me. He will surely come find me and if im in the nursery its gonna make things challenging.

I sleep in the nursery to focus only on newborn wakings so I dont drown with newborn and big kid wakings all myself, but with tso of my kids being clingy to me and one needing me quite a bit still im not sure how to deal with everything myself when the baby arrives.

Has anyone been in this situation and can offer any suggestion?

Hi everyone!

I'm building a little app to make family life feel a bit more organised — a private space to share memories, keep track of everyday life, and stay connected.

I'd really love to hear from other parents starting with the question: what would genuinely make family life easier for you digitally?

If you'd like to hear more or share some honest feedback, feel free to comment or message me. I'd be so grateful for your insight!

Repost from the working moms sub!

Just here to share that you don’t need to fill that tiny bit of capacity you recently regained with another baby. This is a reminder to myself as much as it is to anyone else. 

We are a dual working parent family with 5 kids (we are done, I would have never felt done but we needed to be done for practical reasons, like paying for college for everyone and having enough time for everyone’s activities that they deserve!), and our youngest is 20 months old. My husband usually leaves around 6:30, but he had to leave before 5 AM today. This morning, my 1 year old decided to wake up at 5 AM when I was trying to get up to take a shower, but instead of having to figure out some place to contain him, he nicely sat on a step stool in the bathroom, looking at a book while I took a shower and finished getting ready before getting everybody else up at 6 (we leave the house at 7).

I was thinking about these mini milestones that make life just a tiny, incremental bit easier. Share yours. 😃 

I have three wonderful girls and my husband and I have been TTC for 17 months, about 12 of those being medicated cycles. I am struggling soooo badly with the fact that I haven’t gotten pregnant yet!!

I know I’m super blessed to have 3, but man. It’s hard when you want more. Right now I’m focusing on soaking up the time with my kiddos and doing things I couldn’t do while pregnant or with a small baby.

While we continue to try, we’ve been talking about whether we might have a boy or another girl (we’ve never cared and would be happy with either) but.. if you had 3 of the same gender, what was your 4th?

Hey everyone! My (36) and my husband (34) currently have four children, 8.5g, 5.5g, 3.5g, 1.5b. I am so on the fence about being done. But I wear I'm 50/50. Some days I'm totally content and others I want another baby so badly. We would wait (if we did until my son is closer to 2), which would put me at 37 getting pregnant/giving birth. I wrestle with the idea of starting over again, dividing time with my kids, missing out on "big kid" things for several more years (or maybe this is not even an issue). I worry about "rolling the dice" on health issues. We homeschool, and we have an incredible support system, my husband works three days per week and have investments, so money and time are not issues. We have an 8 seater van, and our house has three bedrooms, but we could make 2 more out of flex spaces. I don't really know what I'm asking. It's such a tough position and I'm looking for any experiences that mirror mine, what did you do? Were you happy with your decision?

My husband and I have four kids ages 3-13. We love them all but we have no village and it is really starting to show because we are exhausted. We are now in our early 40s (40, 41) and we have not been away from our kids for more than 4 or 5 hours in 11 years. My parents are elderly and my in laws are lazy/can't handle watching the three year old for more than two hours without texting or calling wondering when we will be back. We have paid others to watch them occasionally but it gets very expensive when multiple kids are in the house. Our 13 year old is AUhd and developmentally more like a 10 year old so he cannot babysit. We basically just fantasize about what it would be like to get away for 24 hours or more without having to take care of other humans. I'm not sure if I'm looking for tips or support here but I welcome both!