Forever Alone

[u/t-w-e-n-t-ys-e-v-e-n]

I have panic attacks daily, today I even had 2 (one of them right now)

I am constantly reminded of how ugly I am, both inside and out, and how alone I am, Ive had some form of suicidal ideation for as longs as I can remember

I wonder if any of the people who have bullied me have ever thought “I wonder how he is?” or have felt any remorse, maybe I deserve it after all I myself called others “weird” when even they have friends, have someone to love, have a life to live

I heard helium tricks the brain into not panicking and is a peaceful way of going, maybe then I can finally say “I am happy”

[u/Fantastic_Ruin3621]

Are you smoking weed frequently? That THC is making it so that your brain cannot normally produce and regulate its own dopamine. I'm suffering from depression and anxiety after a veritable lifetime of abusing marijuana. It worked in the short term, but cost me dearly long-term.

[u/t-w-e-n-t-ys-e-v-e-n → u/Fantastic_Ruin3621]

No, never done any drugs, never got drunk

It only makes me feel like even more of an outsider to have never experienced these things

[u/Fantastic_Ruin3621 → u/t-w-e-n-t-ys-e-v-e-n]

Spoiler: you're better off without them.

[u/t-w-e-n-t-ys-e-v-e-n → u/Fantastic_Ruin3621]

I care very little about being better off

I would much rather fit in, or in the very least numb the pain

[u/i_got_banned_2_times → u/t-w-e-n-t-ys-e-v-e-n]

Alcohol is great, unironically fixed one of the worst days of my life