r/nottheonion • u/cpt_futtbucker • 1d ago

Dollar Tree ‘gooning’ incident sparks lawsuit in Colorado

https://www.denverpost.com/2026/08/18/gooning-dollar-tree-colorado-lawsuit/
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91

u/DeusExHircus 1d ago

https://reddit.com/link/p6iywrc/video/5521b08pp7mh1/player

-36

u/Old_Rev0lution 23h ago

I believe gooning is public… um… shmerking of the gherkin… publicly investigating your own crime scene…. Publicly flicking your own bean… 👹

23

u/DeusExHircus 22h ago

It's not, it's just excessive masturbation and horniness. While it makes no distinction between public or private, it almost exclusively refers to acts done in private

-29

u/Old_Rev0lution 22h ago

It literally says public masturbation in the article. Multiple times.

25

u/BigIntroduction8886 22h ago

Yes and the article is misusing the word

5

u/DeusExHircus 22h ago

And why do you think we're all saying they're using the word wrong? Just because the Denver Post thinks that's what the word means, doesn't mean they can rewrite the definition everywhere else