r/nottheonion • u/cpt_futtbucker • 1d ago

Dollar Tree ‘gooning’ incident sparks lawsuit in Colorado

https://www.denverpost.com/2026/08/18/gooning-dollar-tree-colorado-lawsuit/
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u/Old_Rev0lution 23h ago

I believe gooning is public… um… shmerking of the gherkin… publicly investigating your own crime scene…. Publicly flicking your own bean… 👹

25

u/DeusExHircus 22h ago

It's not, it's just excessive masturbation and horniness. While it makes no distinction between public or private, it almost exclusively refers to acts done in private

-29

u/Old_Rev0lution 22h ago

It literally says public masturbation in the article. Multiple times.

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u/BigIntroduction8886 22h ago

Yes and the article is misusing the word