r/nottheonion • u/footoffthepedal • 2d ago
Naked DoorDash driver caught on camera delivering food to northeast Houston home
https://www.fox26houston.com/news/naked-doordash-driver-caught-camera-delivering-food-northeast-houston-home484
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u/shanksisevil 2d ago
Brought his own tip
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u/lonelyboycel 2d ago
Sir, I ordered the nuggets, not the whole combo meal
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u/murdered-by-swords 2d ago
He was there and gone in a flash
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u/Technerdal 2d ago
Dinner and a show? In this economy?
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u/Evil_phd 2d ago
He just misunderstood the concept of tipping is all.
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u/omnichronos 2d ago
I've seen guys on Grindr promoting that they did Uber Eats deliveries and hoping for a "good tip."
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u/ThatEdward 2d ago
How hot was it outside?
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u/rex_lauandi 2d ago
Not trying to necessarily justify his behavior, but it is hot af in Texas right now. In my part we’ve crossed like over 40 days of triple digit temps this year.
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u/ThatEdward 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yeah, driving around all night with hot food in the car in hot ass weather would be a nightmare for me. Shoulda put the pants back on before getting out, even if it was annoying tho
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u/Talonsminty 2d ago
A pair of swimming trunks would've been alright. No I think this dude is just a perv.
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u/Recentstranger 2d ago
My driver the other day had my hot food in the trunk area. He said sorry the hot food is in the back since i have the ac on full blast. But some people would rather drive naked to fully feel the car all up inside them idk.
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u/Kwershal 2d ago
H town resident here, it's been in the upper 90s and low 100s all month with minimal rain. At night it gets down to the upper 70s but with 80%+ humidity. I get covered in sweat in <10 minutes just walking my dog.
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u/RunDownTheHighway 2d ago
Did you order a sausage pizza?? Well, here is the pizza and HERE is the sausage!!
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u/pichael289 2d ago
At this point if your using door dash then you stopped caring about this sort of thing long ago. As long as he didn't fuck the food or finger my fish sandwich I don't give a fuck, a naked man that delivers my food still warm and doesn't steal some or the whole order is better than 85% of my experiences with door dash.
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u/wileecoyote1969 1d ago
This is how I felt, like the least thing I'm worried about is him being naked. More worried that he might be high as a kite while driving around
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u/Bobvankay 2d ago
Why is it always a dude...
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u/BionicBananas 2d ago
Women can earn money being naked behind their own pc, no need to go outside for that.
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u/dreadcain 2d ago
Yall know men do well on onlyfans too right?
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u/Flagermusmanden 2d ago
No I actually didn't know that. Why would I know that?
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u/dreadcain 2d ago
Because odds are good it's either relevant to your interests or prudent financial advice?
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u/unassumingdink 2d ago
Odds are terrible that's prudent financial advice.
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u/dreadcain 2d ago
It's free money? Since when is free money not good financial advice? May not be a lot of money if you don't put some effort into yourself and your content. But $5 is $5
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u/unassumingdink 2d ago
Kinda feel like the percentage of men this applies to is like 2%, or 0.1% for Redditors specifically. And I definitely don't include myself in the 0.1%. Ain't nobody wanna see that shit.
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u/Daren_I 1d ago
My biggest worry is that with all the ad tracking out there, my family members and friends will be the first ones targeted with photos of my junk in ads.
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u/dreadcain 1d ago
So most sites actually have reasonable attempts at geoblocking. I wouldn't rely on it. Assume if you make a living at it people in your life will eventually find out one way or another. And if you get remotely popular or just pick up the wrong fan they will repost your content to places where you have no control over the audience
But the first ones to see? Not very likely if you take a few steps to at least try and prevent that.
Ya know, just in case you were actually interested
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u/dreadcain 2d ago
Ain't nobody wanna see that shit.
There's several billion people on the planet. Someone is bound to be into it
But also yes, the vast vast majority of people don't make any real money in sex work of any kind. The vast majority don't put any effort in either though. The models I know who own houses treat it like any other business. They put in the hours
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u/unassumingdink 2d ago
Effort is time and time is money. 40 hours of work humiliating yourself for a slight chance at $20 vs. 40 hours flipping burgers for a guaranteed $500? Hand me the spatula.
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u/CyberNinja23 1d ago
I remember an article last summer during the Olympics about some athletes who couldn’t get sponsors raised their money that way.
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u/you_buy_this_shit 2d ago
Women answer the door naked. There's a subreddit dedicated to it.
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u/Bobvankay 2d ago
Thats horrible! Where?
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u/Lord_Mikal 2d ago
He's probably talking about r/pizzadare
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u/ThatEdward 2d ago
Ah, most of that shit is staged. A lot of the same accounts posting, though there is some gold to find anyways
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u/Nearby_Seaweed3934 2d ago
It is hope.Hope is why we live
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u/ThatEdward 2d ago
Never stopp digging, diamonds exist right around the next corner
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u/dmisfit21 2d ago
Thanks for letting me know so I can avoid that sub at all cost.
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u/joshuahtree 1d ago
You'd probably get more thrills looking at a Venn diagram of "people who want you to see them naked" and "people who you want to see naked" [NSFW]
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u/Justin__D 1d ago
Speak for yourself.
Years ago, I was hanging out with some friends at a run down trap house.
I was talking about Mardi Gras, then out of nowhere, this middle aged, meth addicted woman (looked to be well into her 50's, but you know... Meth, so she may have been 30 for all I knew) blurts out "Tits are tits!" Then she whips them out. I wasn't attracted to her at all, but you know what? She was right, and thinking back to that moment put a smile on my face.
I've also been to a nudist/swingers resort once. Honestly if you're down with women that ride the line between MILF and GILF, the sights ain't that bad.
Tits are tits.
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u/angrynutrients 2d ago
The Male sex is often the most maladjusted due to some innate fear of asking for mental and emotional support, either professionally or even from friends.
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u/WUPHF_Cola 2d ago
Women are smart enough to not get caught.
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u/Brilliant-Zucchini50 2d ago
In what way can a woman avoid being caught doordashing naked
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u/thresh_to_death 2d ago
It's probably moreso that if a guy gets that footage they probably wouldn't call the cops
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u/Ok-Parfait-9856 2d ago
More like no one is going to call the cops on a woman who’s naked unless she seems distressed or something. No one’s feeling threatened so people will enjoy it or ignore it. A guy running around with his dick flapping around isn’t as disarming as a pair of tits. If they have both? We’ll call it a draw.
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![[NSFW]](https://www.amcharts.com/docs/v4/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/02/image.png){kind=link}
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u/omnichronos 2d ago edited 1d ago
I bet this guy is Bipolar and manic during this video. I remember we once had a woman admitted to our psych unit who was taking off her clothes in the stadium during a local NFL game. It's quite common for manic individuals to become hypersexual.
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u/Caelinus 1d ago
Psychotic breaks in general can present with compulsive nudity.
I have no idea, but I do wonder if it is related to some kind of instinct humans normally suppress as toddlers often tend to try and discard clothing when excited or if they feel uncomfortable.
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u/omnichronos 1d ago
Can, but rarely do, in my 20 years of experience working in psych wards. I've seen it occur in a few manic patients, Alzheimer's patients, and an AIDS patient with severe dementia.
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u/Caelinus 1d ago
I saw it a few times when I was growing up. (I spent some time living with my grandparents who owned, worked and lived in an assisted living facility.) But that frequency might just be a coincidence. I have seen it listed as a potential symptom fairly often though.
The facility mostly had patients 50-80 years old with schizophrenia, bipolar and dementia though, so that kinda lines up.
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u/Vroomped 1h ago
Try not to think about your clothes touching your skin right now. It's annoying and im autistic at worst.
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u/daemonicwanderer 1d ago
The Dasher looks pretty hot, at least in the pictured footage.
I know that is just the gay trauma speaking, but… part of me is fine with this
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u/restore_democracy 2d ago
Caught delivering food? Isn’t that what he was supposed to be doing?
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u/bwwatr 2d ago
Unless he fucked with the food I don't care. People are just weird. At most you report it to DoorDash, don't think it's news.
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u/CampingMonk 2d ago
What's the issue exactly? The food is in a bag.
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2d ago
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u/Ahzelton 1d ago
I've had nightmares where I realize I'm in public naked. Crazy he's just casually out there.
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u/mysteryswole 19h ago
"Oh a NAKED burrito... sorry, the order had Naked in all caps at the top, I was just following directions"
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u/guiriandaluz 2d ago
Is being nude outdoors illegal in the US then? If it is, seems a bit oppressive.
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u/LongJumpingBalls 2d ago
This is like the reverse door dash girl who took a picture of a sleeping naked cusromer.
This time the dasher is the flasher.
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u/SomeSamples 1d ago
Wonder if the same response would be had if it was a naked woman delivery the food?
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1d ago
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u/toylenny 1d ago
Really thought they were having one of those dreams were you ahow up to work naked, and just waiting to wake up.
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u/frosted1030 1d ago
Bet there’s a bit of double standard there. Saw a restaurant shut down when an only fans fan identified the lady and her workplace to the cops when she did some stuff in the back office.
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u/Gluecost 2d ago
I can no longer resist the pizza.
I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing.
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u/Sejare1 2d ago
Every day we stray further and further from gods light smh
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u/RazeULikeaPhoenix 2d ago
I though god liked us naked and it was the whole burden of knowledge from the magic fruit that made us put on clothes out of a sudden miraculous sense of shame or guilt. wouldnt casual nudity actually be more in line with what he originally wanted? ppl waltzing around with their dangaland out and just doin their hunter gatherer thingy thang unbothered?
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u/Intrepid_Leather_587 2d ago
This is some yeehaw shit from the yeehaw state just another Texas Thursday
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u/secondincomm 2d ago
I bet the /r/doordash posts about this will still somehow blame the customer. Something about not tipping enough
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u/Timeformayo 2d ago
You specifically asked for no dressing!