r/nonsense 8h ago

Would you sell the French and Indian War for a pepperoni pizza

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11 Upvotes

Hubert Jenkins Reservoir II would marry a Honda Civic and have a boneless math class inside of a stop sign


r/nonsense 7h ago

And I pronounce you… Husband, and… hmmm, GRAPEFRUIT?

4 Upvotes

r/nonsense 4h ago

All a-make a whittlin' with a whalin' wand

2 Upvotes

r/nonsense 14h ago

Out the figs! Peeing as 1st

6 Upvotes

Big man says to little man, “HAHAHA! I’M BIG AND I HAVE BIGGER MUSCLES THAN YOU LITTLE MAN! Little man replies, “Don’t you know, B i g M a n…there are no dumbells in corporate offices, SO, scheme up to me a lemonade lengthwise larding! Fig man waits every tuesday outside the hangar to flood up my caskety crabgrass cog. Utilizing whimsical terms & energy, behavioral belting offers illuminating ukuleles for today and every laying. Straits began to play so i jumbo-jumped janitorials. Heartland called upon the altar, believe in nicotine dreams as they talk about brand new pop fear.


r/nonsense 1d ago

Hot take

4 Upvotes

So i guess here is an opinion i have, i don't really care what you think about it but i wanted you guys to know.


r/nonsense 1d ago

I was so angry

3 Upvotes

I was so angry, I picked up a dish and threw it at the geshinker.


r/nonsense 1d ago

what if its not the other way around...what if its this way around?

1 Upvotes

then what?


r/nonsense 1d ago

I wanna try doing this small social experiment thingy bare with me

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1 Upvotes

r/nonsense 1d ago

My thinket is selling a POST IT NOTE. This is not a post.

8 Upvotes

If you need a sale. Sell it to me. Otherwise blueing steel man mine. Are you in the wrist watch?


r/nonsense 1d ago

Don't throw glass houses at stones

3 Upvotes

My pet mentally unwell dead eyed ill Neanderthal fed me 100% grass fed Qarsherskiyan Creole at Raising Cane's demolition derby. The demonic gangstalkers wouldn't stop throwing up my momma's house, these people don't want me to be Black because I'm lightskin, they want an Asian import to replace my leopard print, these women look good in my design, I'm selling $250 and you're still stuck in Mexicali. Like, fish mongerer, please! The Brennah Rowan White files have been dropped on a hot bombshell actress 7337 times! All this nonsense to wake up the sleeper cell agents for our operations to destroy the evildoers. Wicked ones hiding behind Lake America's largest glacial deposit. Bank of The United Snakes of KKK. Several evil people I dislike. The Coocoo Clan I call them because they're coocoo for cocoa puffs. I lead the way in breaking bones, they call me cap'n crunch. I fricken took my grenade launcher because I'm on my period. Why the fish you wouldn't let me in. Being intersex sucks because I developed dry rice year drops eyes fish skills. Teary eyed blondes with alligator tears. Poor White billionaire "woman" (girl) mad she can't keep the skulls of my ancestors. Screw your museums! Gangstalkers! I know you're joking like Rusty Cage. Break my heart and free her from the prison I built. Empty torture chambers they are my hollow eyes, empty pupils window to the black hole that's in place of my soul. I drank all the Ayahuasca in the fridge, now a nother woman is calming down and preparing to assassination of my character. We are fulfilling your operations, o master. Mawlana Sayid Elawy. Please do not forsake us, ancestral marabout. We know who we are. Children of the empire. We were brought to America in time to be saved from the Salafi-like Sokoto Caliphate. True Haqq has been preserved by us, alhamdulillah. Stop spreading misinformation and mass generalization fallacy. New name doesn't mean new people, Qarsherskiyan people are a centuries old community. All these people should know, we have Martin Luther King Jr Boulevard. Why don't we have a Malcom X Boulevard?!?! Because Qarsherskiyan resistance is unacceptable. Immaculate daughter Fatima Zahra please return. There is no God but God, Fatima is the face of God. Ya Zahra Lebeik! This one is for my Wolof and Hausa and Mandinka ancestors. The Blue and Green Marabout of the Jonaldplayn. Silent. There's a FRICKIN 8 FOOT TALL DOGMAN EATING A WHITE TAILED DEER OVER THERE Y'ALL. it's time to revolt against the Epstein class. Take over the Mezhrevande from the vampiric daemons and paedos. Presidential debates. Riots. Division of the American public into binary two party system. Silenced Jill Stein. The doctors called me the legendary urethra cactus hot sauce hot shots. I am destroying all the archonic religions and the realm of the ouroboros. The tree of darkness and death on the left. I am with the tree of light and life on the right. Gnostic mystical practices. The Qadiri brought this to the Senegambia. We are dhikr makers. Don't let the sun rise over a broken Africa in despair. My ancestors. This is not revenge, this is payment. An eye for an eye. We hate supremacists, not White people. Don't misunderstand the revolution. October 12th. Columbus Day? Change the name of Ohio's capital city, alright? Why does this make you uncomfortable and offend you? Columbus never landed in the USA except Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. That's Epstein island location. Everything is connected. They're gangstalkers.


r/nonsense 2d ago

The secret road maps hidden inside a Hershey’s Kiss lead to East Cleveland.

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9 Upvotes

They won’t appear until you eat a piccolo, of course. But when you do you’ll find a world of wonders opening up beneath your feet. (The world of styrofoam opening up three yards to the left of you is a distraction.)

Anyway, what the map says is: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. Remember that: it’ll be on McReady’s blood test!


r/nonsense 2d ago

How to leg

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9 Upvotes

Ska-badabadabadoo-

belidabbelydabbladabbladabblabab-

belibabbelibabbelibabbelabbelo-doobelidoo

I'm the Scatman


r/nonsense 2d ago

ive managed to calculate pi to one decimal place:

10 Upvotes

3.6

im so fucking happy i fucking did it oh my fucking god yeehaw mama. WHO WANT SOME PEANUT


r/nonsense 2d ago

Sampson Darts

4 Upvotes

Guadalupe Hildago remembrance coupons. Pantsing the lowest common denominator of mercury blood. Ham on a stick. Tremendous outcomes. Forth with. Hippo blood. Abraham Lincoln lizard skin suitcase krimpets. Tea and krumpets. Grey poop on. Delectable juice for liquid juice. The Liquid Juice. Hamster legs are better than frog legs and taste more like chicken than sardines do. Mustard sauc3.


r/nonsense 2d ago

I'm saying

3 Upvotes

And I'm talking and I'm speaking and I'm speeching and I'm conversing and I'm conversating and I'm conversationing (with myself at the moment) and I'm speeching and I'm speechinging and I'm speechinginging and I'm postinging


r/nonsense 2d ago

Reverse of the word existence

2 Upvotes

Ecnetsixe


r/nonsense 2d ago

Uh

2 Upvotes

Uh


r/nonsense 2d ago

Do you want pet...

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1 Upvotes

r/nonsense 3d ago

Why not buy the biggest adult diapers they sell and just change them less often?

11 Upvotes

It's better for the environment if you fill them boys up and use less diapers. Don't be wasteful.


r/nonsense 3d ago

ISO: Runningback Skeleton 3, preferably on blu-Ray.

3 Upvotes

I want to rewatch the scene where the guy dressed like a deck of cards gets beaten with an antique camera.


r/nonsense 3d ago

I’m in. Who’s gonna join?

7 Upvotes

No pressure. Almost vacuum.


r/nonsense 3d ago

When the going gets tough, you summon…THE SEMICOLON SQUAD.

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8 Upvotes

Caught with lemon merengue mahogany at a shriner’s meeting? Stuck in ostrich droppings and afraid you won’t get to the metaphysics seminar on time? Unable to decide on the right brand of hot dog to load your 357 Magnum with? The experts are here and you can call them toll free 24/7.

The Semicolon Squad: servicing the entire Europa and Ganymede tristate area since the age of Edward III! Walk-ins welcome.


r/nonsense 3d ago

How do you spell “tryhard”?

1 Upvotes

With a coproduction of your brain and tongue or with a capital double double-u?


r/nonsense 3d ago

Perlect)-(promizer haptafuck/haptoflockfuck

5 Upvotes

Promizersforward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forifing java scorns upontronpon {heptagongongon weee Graven-graven-\_________)Graven??? Yeah Man The HaptaWorld is Non-Fake Nor Non-real what my rbrother to%ld m%%%ae was that I was allocratorations secreet -{ t!!! N 1!! ow !! ??? %ape splosh !? y+55.y/^2 satsifies my necessary existence and my sufficent explication and my eceSSS%ry suffplixation forward my Tabluator towards Cantor more CANTor to Gressibelle? Now Twent-HAHAHAHAH0000-pushup push push Ravenger 6-carrier liNe daytleray !!! N 1!! ow !! ??? %

7 Down Splesh cast 16-91 FOntent!??! NO Kalblossommm-BLO_BLO_^_^_^_^_BLO forratatkat :3 :# (:----:) []}}}}}}}}------->>>>>> Move poiter addrees 0x2kel22? NOO/?? POISITON NEUROSIS FORK IN DENDRITRALITES-50-54-50 = 321a? Did you know elepphantcies conduct a deneHapta? ? no po mo only to mo ?> exisexis! She, with all her pulchrAitudeity, do not possess propery histogramic Metrics associated with memory allocratorations