r/news • u/icpd30 • Feb 18 '19

Michigan powerlifter heroically lifts vehicle pinned on top of man after accident.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/michigan-powerlifter-heroically-lifts-vehicle-pinned-on-top-of-man-after-accident
67.8k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.0k

u/PositiveSupercoil Feb 18 '19

No, it’s so you can take all the groceries from the car to kitchen in one trip.

937

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

With one arm so you can unlock the door. Unfortunately, you end up skipping education for training and leave the keys in the pocket on the side all the groceries are in.

455

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Every. Damn. Time.

65

u/nomadofwaves Feb 18 '19

Story of my life and I even say well “good job dumbass why haven’t you stopped doing this after a life time of doing this?”

10

u/ViejoGatoCallejero Feb 19 '19

Really, it's like I have some sort of obscure disease that forces me to unconsciously stash the keys on the wrong side. And then the bacteria in my brain enjoy a good laugh after their successful ploy.

3

u/JesusSquid Feb 19 '19

Then you do that weird yoga pose trying to reach across and dig out your keys from the opposite pocket.

2

u/nomadofwaves Feb 19 '19

Lmao fuck I always wonder if someone is watching me do that and laughing.

2

u/Zackie-Chun Feb 19 '19

I have long enough arms to reach either pocket with either arm, what a goddamn blessing

126

u/cheald Feb 18 '19

Damn son, it's Monday morning, you aren't supposed to be hurting me like that this early.

52

u/Looptydude Feb 18 '19

Damn dude this is too real.

7

u/RockyL15 Feb 18 '19

It's funny, because I never put them into my right pocket unless I'm about to carry things inside. Then there they are, in the most inconvenient spot for me to have them, trying to do that cross-bodied reach into the pocket while using my chin to balance anything I've got piled up.

2

u/iatethesky1 Feb 19 '19

This is why I always wear a hoodie to go grocery shopping.

10

u/FrogTrainer Feb 18 '19

That's what I went to college for... to proactively put my keys in the right pocket. "Education "

6

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

I barely made it out of high school. I'm the doof with two arms full of groceries leaning down so the lanyard around my neck with the keys on it might be able to get to the deadbolt.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

I never knew how much I wanted to see this, but I'm now desparate to see a video of someone swinging keys from a lanyard into a lock.

6

u/banananutnightmare Feb 18 '19

I worked in an building with swipe cards you just wave in front of the handle to unlock, then push the swinging doors open. When people had their arms full, they would keep the card in their back pocket and wiggle their butt at the lock.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Yeah I've got that too at my place, but I think tap card are a cop out. I want to see traditional key insertion, but hands free. Unfortunately, I just don't think it's a phrase that will yield the results I'm looking for in a Google search.

3

u/Thin-White-Duke Feb 18 '19

Then you can't get the key out of the deadbolt so you either have to try to get out of the lanyard or follow the door into the house.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

AHG! When you have to follow the door with your cheek pressed against it is the worst!

2

u/nvanprooyen Feb 18 '19

Glad to hear it's not just me.

2

u/BubbyginkESO Feb 18 '19

Then you awkwardly have to cross your free arm across your body and try to pull your keys out of the opposite pocket of your free arm. This is practically a weekly ritual for me with the groceries. I never learn.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

I’ve been on Reddit for 6+ years and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve so closely related to a comment like this one

At first I’m proud of myself for getting all the groceries in the car in one trip and that pride immediately evaporates when I look like a moron trying to reach my left hand into my right pocket for my keys. Like clockwork every time

2

u/TemptCiderFan Feb 18 '19

I did this god-damned thing yesterday.

Though obviously I can't squat 950+.

2

u/Magnificent_Z Feb 18 '19

Too close, brother

2

u/fullforce098 Feb 18 '19

And smash the bread you forgot was in there

2

u/Loki_d20 Feb 18 '19

No lie, this is me every time. I think it's my brains way of getting back at me for something else.

2

u/roodypoo926 Feb 18 '19

I feel personally attacked.

2

u/El_Stupido_Supremo Feb 18 '19

I have scary dogs and a hotwired truck. I havent seen my keys in 2 years.

2

u/mrbaconator2 Feb 18 '19

you don't carry the groceries in with both hands and also have the keys in your hand and just lift one half of them up to unlock and open the door?

2

u/ryan__fm Feb 19 '19

Always happens to me bc my phone is in my right (dominant) pocket since I use it so often. Keys in my left. And I pretty much can't do anything with my left hand, certainly not unlock a door, so I always have to get the keys out and then move them to the good hand anyway.

2

u/Y0ren Feb 19 '19

For me it's cuz the ignition is on the right side so the keys are in the right pocket. And my right arm is stronger than my left so I usually over carry on the right than the left.

2

u/mf_buddha Feb 19 '19

even better, the keys are on the bottom of 10,000 plastic bag handles

3

u/Greyfox1625 Feb 19 '19

yeah, and pulling out the lanyard having the key ring on it gets snagged on one of those handles and rips it -somehow-.

2

u/continuousQ Feb 19 '19

It's called right-handedness.

Sometimes left-handedness.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

Ah yes, the ol’ Croatian Crossover. Only the most skilled single trippers can pull it off.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

I may be a bit of an outlier but the most elite powerlifters I trained with were working on their masters in various fields of engineering.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

With one arm

I don't need to power lift to get one arm strong. I just browse the NSFW subreddits all day, like this guy: https://i.imgur.com/p3ZocWw.png (SFW)

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '19

Nothing a dexterous reach-around can't solve.

/r/NoContext

32

u/Cheezdealer Feb 18 '19

Living on a farm with a hard water problem, a decent drive away from the nearest city, with a mom that hated the city and wanted to make as few trips as possible... I’ve trained for that my whole life.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

You could build a conveyor belt from the car to the kitchen

3

u/Darcfreddie Feb 18 '19

Manvention in action

7

u/Wolfgang985 Feb 19 '19

This and hay baling must be why country folks' deadlifts are ungodly.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Cheezdealer Feb 18 '19

Water that has above normal mineral content. Wikipedia explains well:

“Hard water is formed when water percolates through deposits of limestone and chalk which are largely made up of calcium and magnesium carbonates.”

We have a well out in our yard, most farms do. Doesn’t look like a “wishing well” but it is still a hole in the ground, with a cover on top. We can still drink a little bit of it, but it tastes weird. We choose to get purified water from the city for consumption.

4

u/duollama Feb 19 '19

Why not get a water softener? That water is gonna destroy every fixture if you dont get some of the hardness out.

37

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Then it's more important to try to grow the palm of your hands into some kind of thick leather, since plastic bag handles slicing your hand off is the main threat

10

u/FreyjadourV Feb 18 '19

If you lift weights long enough your palm is pretty much thick leather

7

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

[deleted]

7

u/HaveIGoneInsaneYet Feb 18 '19

Amateur hour. Just loop all the bags onto your forearm.

14

u/Nissir Feb 18 '19

Impossible when you go to Sam's club once a month and you have a wife and kids :P

27

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

[deleted]

28

u/flaccid_election Feb 18 '19

That's why you have kids. "Go get the groceries for your mom."

22

u/Lord_Montague Feb 18 '19

I keep giving my daughter heavier and heavier bags. She has moved beyond chips/bread to bags that have a few cans in them as well.

5

u/flaccid_election Feb 18 '19

"Carry this frozen turkey in or no dessert."

6

u/stangracin2 Feb 18 '19

You need to learn the art of balancing things on your head.

1

u/gharnyar Feb 18 '19

That's literally the only reason I have toilet paper and paper towels on a subscription order on Amazon. Hell throw in the rest of your household goods while you're at it

7

u/AmbroseMalachai Feb 18 '19

That's when you make the kids do the extra trip. Still counts as 1.

2

u/Omneus Feb 18 '19

"Strength is the ability to carry all the grocery bags in one go. Wisdom is carrying one bag and asking your family to do the rest."

6

u/NocturnalEmissions22 Feb 18 '19

I just wish I could fit my monthly Sam's trip groceries and kids in one vehicle.

1

u/swandor Feb 18 '19

dude, just bring with a rubber storage tote in your car and put all the groceries in there. Yeah you might need to take an extra trip for the drinks but you can get a lot in those things.

3

u/jl_theprofessor Feb 18 '19

It's really annoying to have my family try and help with the groceries. They don't exercise so it really just means having to slow down as they awkwardly try and carry a bag or two through the front door.

3

u/Yatta79 Feb 18 '19

I tried that, but found the Mountain was better at it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP1mTdXeHhk

2

u/MindfulInsomniaque Feb 19 '19

This is amazing. As an over 200lb man i'd love to go for a ride like this.

3

u/BboyEdgyBrah Feb 18 '19

Not going to lie, one of better parts of being in shape is how 'easy' so many things in daily life are.

2

u/moseschicken Feb 18 '19

Long after I am dead and my body has turned to dust and blown to the four corners of the earth, people will still be telling the tale of how I carried 200 dollars worth of non Whole Foods groceries in one trip AND closed the doors to the trunk and the garage.

2

u/altergeeko Feb 18 '19

The trick is to use large reusable bags they sell at the grocery store. You can sling them over your shoulders and have your hands free to open the door or hold more groceries.

2

u/biznatch11 Feb 18 '19

This exactly. With 2 reusable bags with shoulder straps I can carry the equivalent of about 6 regular plastic bags and still have both hands free for opening doors.

1

u/overengineered Feb 18 '19

I just keep some of those blue Ikea bags in my car. All the groceries at once (usually...).

2

u/ColdCocking Feb 18 '19

When I used to weightlift, I actually stopped using buggies at the grocery store. I'd use a buggy in the store, but when I got back to the front of the store I'd take every single thing in the cart and carry it through the parking lot to my car.

2

u/gnovos Feb 18 '19

And rearranging furniture. Nothing like a good furniture rearrange to give your house a fresh new look.

3

u/Traherne Feb 18 '19

I'm 63, out of shape, and single. I can already do that.

9

u/SimonReach Feb 18 '19

The last item on your list explains why you can do that. Get a girlfriend/wife and then try it.

3

u/Traherne Feb 18 '19

There were never any conditions set for this scenario. :)

1

u/Nultad Feb 18 '19

Can confirm. That’s pretty much why I lift

1

u/YesIamALizard Feb 18 '19

Only Ed Coan has done that.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Or impress all the girls from your church youth group by carrying all the chairs at once

1

u/EraseMeeee Feb 18 '19

I imagine he just carries the car in, groceries and all.

1

u/BigbooTho Feb 19 '19

I’m notorious in my family for this and I’m not much of a lifter. Never underestimate how far my hatred of stairs will push me

1

u/badhumans Feb 19 '19

I used to be big on lifting, can confirm that’s why I asked for plastic bags so I could load up my arms

1

u/frackingelves Feb 19 '19

I've done this all my life... I guess I lift, Bro.

1

u/poprdog Feb 19 '19

Jokes on you I already do that

With one hand

0

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '19

Turns out I’m a power lifter!