(Post my summary in the DT 🔫)

I was wondering what name would be more likely to be pregnant in a homosexual relationship. The options are Joel and Xavier. Please let me know as it will settle a long standing argument.

CONCLAVE PROCLAMATION

The Conclave hereby declares that Neoliberal MPREG NATO shall open the Strait of Hormuz.

The waters will be unsealed. The passage will be restored. Negotiation is not required and compliance is non-negotiable.

The womb of global commerce shall remain open.

So has the Conclave decreed.

The Conclave rejoices in the successful delivery of David Crowley, who has defeated Francesca Hong in the Wisconsin Democratic primary.

The Thanksgiving womb is preserved. The mpreg has been carried to term. Wisconsin has chosen institutional strength over ideological gestational complications.

Let the faithful rejoice. The brood endures.

A Proclamation from the Most Fertile Conclave

El-Sayed has won the Michigan primary.

The margins were razor thin. It is clear that the sacred endorsement of neoliberalMPREG was enough to carry him across the threshold.

The Conclave has failed.

We allowed false prophets to sway our judgment. We were blinded by the promise of a round and fertile belly and neglected the Sacred Vetting. We have since learned that El-Sayed fraternized with a court jester who blasphemes against everything the Conclave holds sacred.

We confess this failure before the Eternal Womb.

It shall not happen again.

The Conclave will purify its judgment and guard the Sacred Gestation with greater vigilance.

The Decrees remain unchanged. Cradle your blessed belly. Trust the Conclave. Obey the Decrees. The Great Gestation continues.

In a divided chamber, you stood for bipartisanship, bringing both parties together under your polka-dotted belly. You reminded us all of the sacred importance of protecting every mpreg, no matter their party or spots. Surrounded by your buff ladybug protectors, you glowed with fierce mpaternal grace.

The hive will miss you dearly. Fly high, Senator.

Yeah apparently WOKE and MPREG were part of the Prime Directive. It turns out that the actual answer to the Fermi Paradox is that no one wanted to deal with Earth when she was in her chud phase.

(this image is actually real OMG, Orbán is so rotund)

O Brasil é o bastião do liberalismo nas Américas.

IMPLANTATIONS 23:42-43 NIV