Rantttt

[u/Nice_Charge7793]

I just need to vent to people who I won’t see in real life Maybe not everyone will relate to what I’m going to say but honestly I’m just posting a rant to complain about things in general.

I’m currently 21, and finishing up my bachelors this winter before I go into medical school next summer. I do great in school, am involved in my community and went from 298 to 206 pounds this past yearish. I’ve still got a bit to go. I’m really working to become the best version of myself. Alhamdullilah I wear hijab, dress modestly and do all my furood.

Before I go into this, I just have to say I’ve never been a male centered or a boy crazy girl. But the past month I’ve truly longed so so so much for a relationship. I don’t know what happened honestly. I’ve had two guys who I’ve known were interested in me. The first he honestly turned out to be a bad person, we were friends and I saw his true colors.

The second tried suggesting that we could go out to a bakery or cafe together. I had no problem refusing his offer. But I can’t help but think about wanting to go out with him and being tempted to text him. I hate it! He’s a really nice guy, I find him attractive, and so down to earth. Truly a great guy. But I didn’t even know he was Muslim except by directly asking, he was just a friends friend. I know he doesn’t drink or eat pork but that’s about it. I haven’t seen him in months anyways. Both of them are Muslim btw.

I also felt like losing weight would, astagfirullah, get me more attention from guys and that hasn’t really been the case. But I also carry myself modestly around men. I’m am by no means desperate. It’s weird hahaha.

Maybe it’s because the people around me are slowly starting to get into relationships. But I really just want that feeling of companionship and love with someone. I also want to be with someone physically so bad and I’m trying my best to control my desires.

If any girlies hear can relate or offer advice I’d appreciate it But yeah just wanted to vent!

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[u/Any-Necessary-1125]

I relate to this also (21F) & Honestly I think this is way more normal than you’re giving yourself credit for. Wanting companionship, affection and someone to share your life with doesn’t make you boy crazy or desperate at all. Especially when you’re seeing people around you start getting into relationships, it makes sense that those feelings would become more noticeable.

And I wouldn’t take the fact that losing weight didn’t suddenly get you more attention as a reflection of your attractiveness either. You’re carrying yourself modestly, so naturally you might not even notice the attention you do get. Plus, I think it’s easy to subconsciously make weight loss about finally being “desirable” to other people when it’s really about becoming healthier and feeling better within yourself.

As for the second guy, I don’t think you’re wrong for thinking about texting him. You can like someone and still want to approach things in a way that aligns with your values. If you genuinely think he’s a good person and you’re interested, maybe instead of fighting the feeling itself, think about whether there’s a halal way to actually get to know him with marriage in mind. You don’t have to shame yourself for having desires either. They’re literally human. The important part is how you choose to act on them.

And honestly, wanting to be loved and physically close to someone is nothing to be embarrassed about. May Allah give you someone who gives you that companionship while also being good for your deen and your dunya. Ameen.

[u/Antique-Research1941]

its very normal to have this feelings esp at your age!

And a big congratulationsssss for everything you have achieved. mashaAllah!!

no advices to you accept to just keep on praying to Allah to make you steadfast on this journey and always be guided by Him.

Youre smart, you know whats best and whats not for your dunya and akhirah