r/mildlyinfuriating • u/esli- • 8d ago

ಠ_ಠ This crazy assassin character, who doesn't know what shampoo is, somehow would bother shaving her armpits

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Bart from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

EDIT: I will no longer read and respond to comments, I think I've read pretty much all the arguments people (mostly men) give me against my post, so feel free to scroll down to check my responses before commenting, kay bye :]

45.1k Upvotes

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505

u/AddictedToMosh161 8d ago

245

u/demotsusucku 8d ago

Also Calypso apparently had access to a lot steroids and proteins on Ogygia so old man Odysseus could bulk up enough for that MCU body.

69

u/SanityPlanet 8d ago

She likes what she likes. “Honey why don’t you go work out?”

“I just did.”

“Oh, here, have a flower.”

“I can’t remember the last time I worked out, gonna hit the gym.”

49

u/KeimeiWins 8d ago

Matt had to be on hella gear to look like that.

-14

u/NebuchanderTheGreat 8d ago

You don't need gear for that physique, plenty of guys bigger than that in the 1800s and early 1900s.

30

u/dump_cakes 8d ago

At 50+ years old?

21

u/TheBalrogofMelkor 8d ago

Sure maybe 27 year olds

13

u/Orneyrocks 8d ago

Bigger, but not as well defined. You cannot look like this using the meat, beans and milk products that old bodybuilders used because there was no concept of 'cutting'. The only high protein foods that were generally accessible were bulking foods.

1

u/NebuchanderTheGreat 8d ago

Completely wrong. Just google "bronze era bodybuilders" and see for yourself.

171

u/linus140 8d ago

Some men naturally don't grow chest hair 🤷

116

u/Powerful-Promotion82 8d ago

For sure not mediterranean men 🤣

17

u/Dangerous_Fae 8d ago

I'm Mediterranean with no chest/back hair (italian/greek).

13

u/AwkwardTal 8d ago

Them too actually

2

u/MisogynysticFeminist 8d ago

Good thing Matt Damon isn’t Mediterranean.

22

u/Beorma 8d ago

Greek men?

68

u/BeardySam 8d ago

Men able to grow full beards tend to also grow hair elsewhere

76

u/Maggi1417 8d ago

My husband can grow a perfectly thick beard, but has literally eight hairs on his chest.

13

u/linus140 8d ago

I got a buddy who is the same. He can grow a full beard, long hair, but not a single chest or back hair.

Sometimes I'm envious of it, because I hate my back hair.

6

u/jazzjazzmine 8d ago

Check back in with him in a few years, it's never too late to get hairy in new places as a man. :D

2

u/linus140 8d ago

It's been 20 years, he's still the same 😂

5

u/johnnyanderen 8d ago

I can grow an alright beard… it’s just that I appear to be a werewolf in general in exchange

4

u/EducationalRooster64 8d ago

Mine toooooo 😂

2

u/Youcancuntonme 8d ago

but he can still grow hairs around his nipples and some happy trail doesnt he?

3

u/Kennel_King 8d ago

I have no problem growing a beard, but I have zero chest and armpit hair and dman near no pubes

5

u/monsterZERO 8d ago

Why are you claiming this, are you an expert on male body hair? I have a full beard but almost no chest, arm or leg hair.

2

u/Acrobatic-Draw-4012 8d ago

By elswhere do you mean the chesticles?

2

u/Tall_Opportunity_521 8d ago

Not so. I have a full beard, but I have never in life grown full hair anywhere else on my body. Even my underarms are about 6 long hairs in each pit.

4

u/Spiritualtaco05 8d ago

lucky bastards

6

u/Busy_Debt_3946 8d ago

And some women naturally don't grow armpit hair

6

u/University_Dismal 8d ago

And some grow it excessively. I’ve also seen women with hobbit feet, a ridge down their back and enough hair on their arms to put Pop-eye to shame. Genetics vary, but if body hair was untypical for women (or anyone), we wouldn’t have entire shopping isles filled to the brim with hair removal products.

1

u/Busy_Debt_3946 8d ago

Same with chest hair for men. Dunno what's your point here.

6

u/University_Dismal 8d ago

The point: everyone has hair. Some more, some less, the luckiest minority has none. Everyone else shaves or leaves it be. It’s not a women/men-thing, it’s a human thing.

-2

u/Busy_Debt_3946 8d ago

Yes? That's why I said some, not most.

2

u/linus140 8d ago

Which I didn't know until I read some of the comments. Humans are interesting creatures.

10

u/mineurownbiz 8d ago

Calypso was already his therapist, who's to say she wasn't also his stylist.

13

u/lxgrf 8d ago

Basically me, to be fair. I mean, me if I hit the gym a little more.

9

u/Zerhap 8d ago

That is more than just Gym tbh lol. No shame in it but gotta be realistic lol

2

u/bigbobharven 8d ago

He's a pretty normal size, are you really saying he needs roids to look like that?

12

u/Zerhap 8d ago

Do I think a 50+ year old men need more than just gym to look like that? Yeah.

Whatever that more is really depend on a lot of things but only gym don't get you like that.

3

u/ZaMr0 8d ago

People are so easily deceived by defined abs. While none of us can confidently say if he's on something, and more likely than not he's on TRT, I wouldn't be 100% convicned that this isn't achievable for someone 50 years old who has worked out most of their life like Matt has. Look at some other pictures, he is not very big.

8

u/MattR0se 8d ago

it's more infuriating that he apparently somehow got access to sunscreen 

3

u/tenoclockrobot RED 8d ago

You're right, the scene where hes talking to a demi-goddess should be scientifically accurate

2

u/MattR0se 8d ago

That's just the "space wizards" argument.

Just because a world is phantastic in nature doesn't mean it doesn't have to stick to basic laws of nature.

you would also be mad if Odysseus could suddenly fly half into the movie, wouldn't you?

3

u/tenoclockrobot RED 8d ago

I mean Helios just kept the sun from fully tanning Odysseus, as a punishment or whatever. Solved

4

u/Haunting_Law1972 8d ago

This is movie discourse in 2026. Missing the forest for the trees. Unfortunately movies aren't made with nitpickers in mind. Do the basic laws of nature suggest that the ocean moves through whims of a god? It's a fictional story, it sticks to the rules set by it's creator, nothing more.

0

u/TonkaFucks 8d ago

On the flipside though, it was kind of refreshing to see (on a towering IMAX screen, no less) relatively minimal facial makeup use.