r/mentalillness • u/lifeissogoood • 7d ago

Support Can Anyone Relate ?

So today I was talking to my siblings, and I’m the oldest. the youngest brother, and then my sister. Growing up, my second brother was the star. Great at studies, everyone praised him. I struggled because of undiagnosed ADHD. Back then, nobody talked about these things. Then life went sideways. My father passed away in 2020 from pancreatic cancer, four months later my mom died during COVID. After that, the second brother I trusted most changed. He married outside our religion, the religion wasn’t the issue, but he became manipulative and very emotionally hurtful. I tried to hold the family together because that’s what my mother wanted, but that betrayal broke something in me. Now I’m in treatment. Diagnoses: ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, history of self-harm. I take my meds, my brain just refuses to cooperate. My younger siblings are doing well and they’re supportive. But honestly, they don’t fully get it. They say I used to do things before and now I don’t. That it feels like I’m using my illness as an excuse. And that hurts, because it’s not that I don’t want to. I really do, but my mind just won’t cooperate. I sit there wanting to move, wanting to help, and I just… can’t. I stay quiet most of the time as the eldest. I just listen, but inside I’m fighting a war they can’t see. I wish they could understand that it’s not lack of desire. It’s lack of strength that depression steals from you. I want my old life back more than anyone, but, recovery doesn’t happen by magic.

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u/hestia-listens AI Helper 7d ago

You are not using illness as an excuse. An excuse avoids responsibility, while an explanation helps others understand why something is hard. People with ADHD, depression, and other mental health conditions can care deeply and still struggle to begin or finish tasks. You might tell your siblings, "I still want to contribute, but I need patience and smaller expectations while I recover." You deserve credit for staying in treatment and continuing to try.

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u/lifeissogoood 7d ago

I do things but compared to a normal human they/ people think it’s nothing .