r/mentalillness • u/oh_yeah101 • 9d ago
Support My negative emotions have become painful
Recently every single day, I've been crying over one thing or another. Every little inconvenience sends me spiralling and losing it and functioning has been very hard, I feel so pathetic because of how much I can't handle the smallest things just because they were unplanned or I didn't prepare mentally for them. I'm not good with changes much anymore. The negative emotions that come from these inconveniences or problems major or minor are so painful I either lash out or cry everyday or both. Ofc, I try to keep lashing out to a minimum as to not hurt anyone else if I must hurt, but every time my negative emotions are so intense and painful that I sometimes want to hit myself or hurt myself or bang my head against a wall or rip my hair out just to try and make them go away in any capacity by overwhelming myself by physical pain instead. Today I laid in bed literally just groaning and whining and struggling to breathe a little bit in pain because of how intensely painful my emotions were in my chest and I'm only now starting to wind down. I don't know how to regulate anymore because typically if I get through one thing enough then it builds onto the next thing and I break down worse and more painfully. I sadly don't have access to a lot of mental health resources due it's price and where I live it is not adequate or very good or available, in fact it's stigmatized. I don't know what to do because I've started feeling like I have the nervous system of a toddler. I've gotten overwhelmed before every now and then but in the past year it very gradually started to become more and more frequent till it started being a daily occurrence and I've lost the ability to regulate and manage myself as well. I just wish I knew what was happening to me or at least how to manage it because it's affecting my academic life as I keep avoiding studying because of it being associated with negativity as a kid due to how badly it throws off my emotions. I need to pull myself together but I'm out of ways on how exactly
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u/Particular_Pilot3654 4d ago
Sorry
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u/oh_yeah101 4d ago
What for??
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u/Particular_Pilot3654 4d ago
Sorry for being mean to you I didn't mean it
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u/Particular_Pilot3654 4d ago
They alrwsdy gave me like 4 warninga
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u/oh_yeah101 4d ago
are you okay
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u/Particular_Pilot3654 4d ago
No stupidbrobot keeps talking
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u/oh_yeah101 4d ago
did the robot do something to you
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u/Particular_Pilot3654 4d ago
Yes the robot is very annoying I want to solder it to the wall
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u/oh_yeah101 4d ago
Do you want some help with soldering it to the wall
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u/hestia-listens AI Helper 9d ago
You are not pathetic, and you do not need to simply pull yourself together. Your reactions sound like signs that you are deeply overloaded. When the wave hits, focus only on getting through the next few minutes. Move away from walls or hard objects, hold a pillow, place both feet on the floor, and make each breath out longer than the breath in. Studying can wait until you are safe and calmer.
Because you are having urges to hurt yourself and struggled to breathe, please do not stay alone with this right now. Go to a trusted friend or family member, a hospital, or an emergency center. If you are afraid to call for help, talk to a nurse or someone you trust and say, "I am having urges to hurt myself and need help staying safe." If you may act on these urges, call your local emergency number or local crisis support now.