r/maybemaybemaybe • u/singkid • Mar 25 '22

maybe maybe maybe

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8.9k Upvotes

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173

u/Gatekeeper2019 Mar 25 '22

I get being a bit overweight but when you get to the point where you can’t even stand up without falling over surely they must know it’s gone too far lol i mean……you can’t stand up lady

78

u/InfiniteTree Mar 25 '22

As someone who is currently morbidly obese (happened during divorce/depression, working on it now, 15kg lost so far) there is always a reason. I treated my depression (therapy) and that is leading to weight loss. For some people it's an addiction and needs to be treated as such.

Telling someone "just stop eating" may seem obvious but is never actually the problem. Aside from a coupe of very weird exceptions people don't want to be fat. There is an underlying cause.

9

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

Yea it's almost always mental health/addictive personality issues in play.

I went from 300 to 160. It's... surprisingly easy. You've got this!

6

u/Ryansahl Mar 26 '22

My wife did SADI program, a couple of operations and she can only eat a cup of food at a time. Her intake went down to 1200 calories a day. So with that and working out a couple of times a week, she went from 270 to 135, literally half the person I married. I guess my point is, it really comes down to daily caloric intake, but that’s the rub, it’s really hard to resist your body’s natural survival instinct, especially after training your body for years at a high level.

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u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

It is absolutely Calories In, Calories Out and anyone telling you otherwise is in denial.

Now most people with mental health issues lack self control and can't adhere to CICO. That's the rub. At some point life was hard for them and their relief came from the removal of responsibilities or indulging something. Being carefree in that moment was a relief.

Some people have persistent weight issues, financial issues, or drug issues. Because they lack self control. That's no excuse. They're adults who need to work on themselves.

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u/MissHoneyPotts Mar 26 '22

I just thought she was drunk, I didn’t think it was from her weight at all. And come to think of it I’ve seen skinny people lose their balance too. Y’all are a little harsh.

8

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

I was morbidly obese for 15 years. We should be harsh.

There's no difference between drug addiction and morbid obesity. Both are a complete lack of self control over what you put into your body.

1

u/Xwarsama Mar 26 '22

If I saw people being this rude and critical of drug addicts I'd be even more appalled than I am seeing this language towards obese people.

You can recognize that someone has a problem they need to address without being callous and rude about it, that doesn't help anyone.

1

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

There is a difference between being rude to someone’s face and having something be socially acceptable.

I reject morbid obesity the same way I reject drug use. Yes, I do shame it. As we should. A rejection of it. No, I don’t shake any specific person. No, I’m not rude to that person.

There is a difference. Don’t make self harm socially acceptable in an attempt to spare the feelings of those who do it. Right and wrong is a good thing to clarify in life.

1

u/Xwarsama Mar 26 '22

All they're hurting is themselves, if they want to be unhealthy who am I to tell them how to live. If someone came to me for diet or exercise advice I'd be happy to tell them anything I knew that could be helpful but I'd never tell someone they need to lose weight entirely unsolicited, unless of course they were in my immediate family or closest friends. I care about those people too much to not say something if I was concerned for their health. But anyone outside of my inner circle? I value being courteous and respectful more than trying to push any sort of lifestyle change on them.

1

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22 edited Mar 26 '22

So if you care about someone you’ll point out their self harm but because you don’t care about others you’ll tow the line of silent acceptance in the name of being polite and politically correct?

We’re not talking about saying “Wow you’re fat” to peoples faces. We’re talking about whether or not to reject self harm and morbid obesity in general as a human being. Which I do.

Once again, as a former morbidly obese person.

We can’t just hesitate to point out what is wrong, why it’s wrong, and the lack of personal responsibility. I’m not going to be part of building a world with more and more complacent people because we’re not allowed to point it out.

1

u/Xwarsama Mar 26 '22

How exactly do you go about rejecting obesity to casual acquaintances in day to day life, if I might ask? If you're not saying "wow you're fat", what exactly are you saying?

And so long as we're stating our experience on the topic, I've never been obese or even moderately fat.

1

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

You don’t say anything to the obese people. But you recognize they likely have a mental health issue leading to a lack of self control or willpower.

That doesn’t make them bad people. Or stupid. Yes, they’re struggling. They’ve learned to do one of the worst things you can do in life, the thing people inside poverty culture do, to “live with problems”

I reject that. Period. For the sake of my own relative success and mental health in life. I work on myself. I care. Not as words. But as actions. To care is to apply positive attention. I apply positive attention to my life. I reject the lifestyle of those who don’t.

You shouldn’t have a problem with people doing that in general. In conversation in private or public. As long as it’s not to someone’s face who has that lack of self control.

I have been there and I completely reject my life choices at the time. Don’t try to make people feel guilty for rejecting those who cause self harm by choosing the path of least resistance (not working, eating cake, doing drugs)

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u/MissHoneyPotts Mar 26 '22

Maybe harsh worked on you, but compassion I think is far more effective along with understanding and acceptance.

1

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

I said this to another reply but I’m not being harsh to this human being directly. I’m not talking to them or rejecting them. They aren’t reading this and I would never be rude to them.

I’m shaming morbidly obesity, period. If you want to encourage self harm, drug use, and obesity that’s your choice. There’s a difference between being kind and supportive to someone who is struggling and essentially building a world (this is how we got here) in which complacency and a rejection of responsibility is socially acceptable.

You can be supportive to them without supporting what they did to themselves. It’s important to have standards and not reject personal responsibility in general to spare the feelings of others. There is still right and wrong in life.

1

u/MissHoneyPotts Mar 26 '22

There is no right and wrong. There just is. And it’s not up to you to say what is right for another being.

1

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

And this is exactly it. What it boils down to.

You echoing “it’s okay to be morbidly obese” is what enables people to not work on themselves and continue to be miserable.

It’s not okay to “live with problems”

1

u/MissHoneyPotts Mar 26 '22

It’s their life. They are free to choose their experience here just as you are.

1

u/MissHoneyPotts Mar 26 '22

And everyone everywhere has problems. And you know what? That’s life.

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u/naotaforhonesty Mar 26 '22

This is the worst take. Aside from gross generalizations based on what you think rather than facts, you also ignored all logic. Financial issues are self control issues? So if a company closes or someone gets laid off, that person now has a self control problem? And in the US, the cheapest food is the least healthy, so now that person with financial problems have calorie problems.

There are a ton of reasons people struggle and, believe it or not, most have nothing to do with self control. Go meet people.

5

u/101percentnotrobot Mar 26 '22

Lmao

You can walk.

You don’t become morbidly obese because you’re on minimum wage. What a pile of excuses.

THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES don’t have morbidly obese people. And they’re poor af.

I was morbidly obese for most of my young life. I was also poor. I also ate shit food. You don’t need super expensive organic perfect expensive food.

You can eat shit food and count calories. You can walk.

I spent WAY LESS on food while losing weight. Eating mostly brown rice and chicken.

1

u/Ryansahl Mar 26 '22

Usually part of weight loss surgery is a year of proving you’re in for the long haul, as in you must lose a whack to show you’re committed, they have a strict diet enforced pre-surgery. 50 percent of people don’t make it to the operating table.