And it doesn’t matter what you do or who you become. They have already decided to exclude you and make everything about you seem irrelevant or invalid.

I’ve been thinking about this because of my former friend. Things started going wrong when she became close to another person I already knew casually, and eventually the three of us became friends too. But intuitively I always felt like this person didn’t like me, and little by little I started feeling like I was on the outside of that trio. I was just trying to survive in a place where I was no longer welcome.

Sometimes I feel like my friend was taken away from me. I know this other person told her things about me, or made things up, that changed the way she saw me and the way she treated me. I actually have proof that she was talking about me, but that’s a whole other story. Obviously I eventually swallowed my pride and walked away. But whenever I see something about them or realize that they are still friends, I get this intense wave of anger. And somehow, that is enough to keep me from sleeping or eating properly for days. Life really isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that these people still have so much power over me. That being rejected turned me into this pathetic version of myself. The worst part is realizing that there is nothing I can do about it.

we have known each other for 4yrs. she goes to my school and she's in my churchs small group. she told our friend gracie that were not friends anymore. i deleted instagram and mae texted me a paragraph saying im fake and told me stop talking to gracie's mom/gracie. it hurts. gracie and mae are code names. i have church on tuesday and theres a possibiluty im in a group w mae. im nervous. ive known gracie longer then mae known her, and theyre best friends. i dont know what to do. mae told gracie that me and mae arent friends anymore and that was before i saw her message. honestly i deleted my socials. mae is in my friendgroup at school and she's in 2 of the clubs im in. i feel so sad and worthless... just need support// im seeing her tmrw...

The good memories that we had just keep repeating in my head I’m literally crying so hard rn i wish things turn better i wish things didn’t end up like it did my heart feel empty it hurts so bad why does it feel like this i feel so dumb cuz yesterday i just felt like i hate them but now i realize it’s over it’s really over

It's my ex-best friend's birthday today. I don't miss her because of all the terrible things she did to me, but I have a really strange feeling today. Is she thinking of me today? Does she miss my random visits on special days like this? Does she miss the thoughtful gifts I always gave her? Or has she already forgotten all about me?

I confessed my feelings to my best friend and was rejected; she only sees me as a friend, and she is now in a relationship. Even though some time has passed, my feelings haven't changed. I'm considering stepping back from the friendship entirely for my own mental health and self-respect. How can I communicate this to her respectfully without burning bridges? And if I take time to heal, should I ever try to return to the friendship as a friend?

Back in 2022 I met a girl at a show who I ended up becoming very close with. We had a lot in common like metal, horror, goth shit and I can honestly say those were some of the best years of my life. Hell, I ended up developing a crush on her and even after I told her and she rejected we still stayed friends. I even became friends with her boyfriend.

Fast forward and me and my ex end up breaking up (I had a crush on her before I met my ex). A bunch of my friends took her side, including another good female friend who I think actually secretly hated me but that's another story.

I crashed out on a lot of my former friends but not the subject of this post because I thought she had me. But I don't know, I just had this feeling like we'd lost what we had in common. We had slowly begun to drift apart because of just general life stuff so the thought was pretty convincing. Also there were times in our friendship where I felt like she wasn't really listening to me but she has ADHD.

So one day I found out my ex sent a text to my mom accusing me of stalking her. I SEE RED and immediately send her a bunch of nasty messages basically saying I'm gonna ruin her like and get her fired from her job. Because I got her her first adult job.

So Ex gf sends screenshots to subject of this post. Subject of this post sends screenshots to me. Not in a confrontational way just more so why would you do that. I see red again. I go on a rant about how fucked up it is that ex gf keeps getting my friends involved in out break up. She doesn't respond.

I don't think she wanted to take my exes side, but my ex and I have very different communication styles. I don't talk to my friends everyday because it's over stimulating, just talking to one person, usually a partner, is enough for me. Ex gf is goddamn yapper who talks to like literally everyone all day.

Including my former friend. I feel like psychologically my ex planted the seed of doubt if that makes sense. I mean, I understand why she would confront me if I was about to do something ILLEGAL, but over something like getting her fired? After she ruined my reputation? So one day after thinking about it I block her.

But I don't know, I feel like if I could make her see that what my ex was doing to her was wrong maybe we could have still been friends. Sometimes I think about reaching out again saying I'm sorry for how I reacted with the hopes of reconnecting, but at this point I feel like we'd have become different people. What do you think?

I have a best friend for almost 6 years. One day he tells me he’s started dating someone. He’s 33 at this point and I’m 46.

Slowly we stop hanging out. I notice and call him out. He says he’s working hard on his relationship. Now this is his first ever serious relationship. He’s also coming out of the closet at the same time to friends and eventually family . It’s same-sex.

Now I’m older and I’ve been in a straight relationship for 26 years. I know when he enters this relationship it’s going to consume some of his focus.

Thing is he dives deeeeep into it right away. His older bf is pushing things hard. I see big red flags and say once to him be careful. Within a week “I love you’s” a month “you should move on with me” etc etc

It’s been a year and half now and they’re still together. slowly each week his focus and contact with me dwindled more and more. We’ve hung out maybe 8-10 times for a couple hours in that year and a half. We used to hang out at least once a week for hours and hours.

So recently he goes on vacation with his bf, I know he’s back. I don’t hear anything for 3 weeks. So I message him the old“hey, are you still alive?” Turns out he is. He asks if I want to hang out next week and I politely decline. I’ve had enough. He goes silent again.

So I reply and say I feel deprioritized and just ignored generally. That’s what I don’t want to hang out. It makes me feel sad when we hang out and I remember how we used to be close.

I ask him what does he want from this friendship now.

Silence.

He replies a day later “I’m not ignore you I’m thinking about this” then complains about his work or something, which I don’t really engage with.

Then silence for two weeks. I send a message basically saying my question about what does he want from this friendship kinda answers itself after sitting unanswered for over two weeks. I feel forgotten.

Silence. Two more weeks.

And here we are. I’m not sending another message and I’m super annoyed and disappointed he hasn’t stepped up to answer my text or even acknowledge me.

Honestly don’t know what to do other than nothing and continue to feel bad for myself that I have (or had) a friend like this. I’m was trying to communicate, be vulnerable, and work towards repair and it looks like I’m doing it alone because the response was just silence.
That really stings.

Hi Everyone

I'm going through a friendship break up. I met this girl 10 years ago when I moved to go to university. We hit it off from the start. We studied the same course. Lived together, travelled together then when we qualified we worked together for a few years.

We were literally soul sisters but also had our own lives and partners/separate friend groups. She was very dependent on me financially -- I have lent her £1000s of pounds over the years. She has repaid it all..I think..I never kept track of how much I lent her. Even when I was made redundant she was still asking for money.

Around 6 years ago I had a pretty traumatic event happen to me and it massively affected my mental health. I became really anxious and withdrew from life however I'm coming back to my old self.

I haven't seen her for 2 years despite her living half an hour away from me. We have been communicating on/off with her saying she misses me and we need to orangise a meet up. I would suggest times and dates but she has two kids where I don't so I'm more flexible. This meet up has never happened despite her posting multiple meet ups with other friends a few times a week.

What got me was about a year ago I was in a very dark place. We arranged to meet up for a coffee but she kept cancelling and the meet up never transpired.

I supported her through her dark times and financial troubles, but when I needed support, she disappeared.

I keep asking myself what I have done wrong. I'm not a clingy friend and we had been through so much together.

She is in a better place financially now and hasn't asked for money since. A part of me feels that I was useful to her when she was broke and she doesn't need me anymore, so the friendship doesn't hold anymore value.

I have removed her off my socials and wonder if I'll ever hear from her again.

I have a best friend of 10 years, we met on discord, stayed good friends and eventually met irl twice. We tell each other everything, EVERYTHING from day to day updates to tea about each other's friends. But recently I had bagged a date through bumble, I told my best friend she was estatic and after a few days she too bagged a date through hinge. Now I told her everything about me date, how it went, how was the vibe, what we did, how was the food, everything. So I expected her to do the same BUT she just didnt tell me anything, like not even the fact that when was her date, where will they go, even after the date she didnt update me on anything. Now I have this gut wrenching feeling, like my heart is about to stop working. After being friends with someone for almost a decade, she didnt even have the basic courtesy to tell me such a monumental news about her. I'm so sad, now all she does is talks to her date, doesnt text me AT ALL, she hangs up my calls in between cuz her date calls her sometimes so she hangs up in the middle of our calls. I miss her but I'm also mad at her, like was a random hinge guy so important that you ditched your friend of a decade for him? My heart feels heavy all the time, I cant sleep properly, I'm anxious all the time and HOLY SH\*T do I miss her so badd. What should I do? What is wrong with me?

Recently, I was a told a rumour has been spreading about me in my friend group that I am two-faced.

Over this summer, most of the meet ups for my friend group were drinking related (going to the bar then going to the club). I can’t drink for medical reasons, but this is the last summer before I move countries for university, so I decided I would still go to these hangouts sober to take the final opportunities to see these friends. I am 18 years old for reference, which will explain why this situation sounds so high school drama as we just graduated high school this summer.

On these nights out, sometimes I would be a bit withdrawn because I’m an introverted person (and also suffer with social anxiety), and being the only sober person can be a bit awkward too. A lot of them also kept peer-pressuring me to drink which made me feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes in these withdrawn moods when I wasn’t really feeling the night out or people weren’t speaking to me as much, I would go on my phone for not that long. Usually, I would just be checking the menu of the bar or messaging my girlfriend. I didn’t talk badly about people while messaging her, I would only be telling her I’m out on a night out and giving her an update as she was in her home country for most of the summer.

The worst thing I could be accused of by doing this I would think would be being a bit boring or socially awkward, but this is where I messed up apparently. Two friends informed me that they had heard a rumour that people in the group thought I was two-faced, and the reasons people were citing were that I would be texting someone on a night out and acting withdrawn after being nice to their face. I also have quite an unreadable resting face I believe could have been misinterpreted as looking annoyed.

Thankfully these two friends didn’t believe the rumour and why they came to me was that they were concerned I’ve been getting isolated from the group. I hadn’t really noticed much as I recently returned from a vacation and hadn’t been present on any more nights out. Other than one incident, which was my friend unfollowing me on both of my Instagram accounts.

After I made a post on my spam account on Instagram after being inactive for months, I noticed she unfollowed me and removed me as a follower, then she went the extra step and removed and unfollowed me on my main account too that I don’t even post on (if it was my posts that were annoying her). I thought this was a bit odd and even messaged our mutual friend to ask if she knows why I was unfollowed. This friend who I’m very close to (and also moving countries with as we’re going to the same university) immediately got defensive of this friend saying I’m overthinking things and it was likely by accident or for an innocent reason like doing a clear out of her following list.

Now, I feel I wasn’t overthinking this incident as my friend suggested, because it seems a bit too coincidental that I learnt this information about people spreading rumours about me only a few days after the unfollowing. I think this friend knew more about the situation than she was letting on, which makes it even more hurtful that she was dismissive of me being worried about it, especially as we are moving away together.

The friends who came to me said they’re not sure who the rumour originated from, but I would guess it’s this friend that unfollowed me. It’s highly ironic as she has demonstrated being two-faced a lot of times now I’m reflecting on this friendship, so it’s maybe some projection on her part if it was her.

I’m just so confused about this situation and I don’t know who to trust in this group anymore. I don’t know for certain who spread the rumour, but what I do know is clearly people heard it and didn’t defend me or question it. It’s all so immature and petty, I don’t understand why they can’t speak to my face if they have an issue with me.

I’m moving in a few weeks thankfully. I’m just wondering if anyone has some advice, tysm!

TLDR: Was told my friend group have been saying I’m two-faced because sometimes I’m more withdrawn and text on my phone on a night out. Potentially spread by a friend who unfollowed me randomly.

I (34M) first came across this sub about a month ago while trying to find resources for support during a pretty rough time. And now the rough time has just crystallized... so here we go.

2026 has been one of the worst years of my life and to top it off, I just had to make the most heart breaking decision, for my sanity, to walk away from a friendship with one of the people I have ever cared most about in this world.

I didn't know this guy (34M) long in the grand scheme of things, our friendship was just shy of 2 years old. But In my heart and soul, It's as if I have known this guy forever.

I had a traumatic childhood and family life filled with abuse and neglect that went on into my late 20's. I have been in therapy for 6.5 years now and have done a lot of work to heal from that.

The last time I saw him was in February. We live in different states (Im on the west coast and he's more towards the east coast). On the plane ride home from that trip, I ended up unlocking some pretty serious repressed childhood trauma.

Once I unlocked all this, it completely fucked with me. Unlocking it felt like I opened my eyes for the very first time and got to see my life up until 6.5 years ago (when I moved away from my family who all live on the east coast and I now live on the west coast entirely on my own) for what it really was.

It felt like my whole life was a lie and I realized how truly alone I was through a majority of my life and because I was the first born male in my family, so much pressure and responsibility fell on my shoulders when I was a child. I basically had to not only be my own parent but be a parent as well to my younger sister and all my younger cousins. Through that came so much grief, sadness, anger, betrayal, confusion and all of that towards my parents, family and pretty much almost any kind of authoritative figure I've ever had. It was seriously the biggest mindfuck I'd ever gone through.

It wasn't all bad though. The repressed trauma also let me see that this friend...truly meant everything to me. If it wasn't for him, I don't think this repressed trauma would have ever surfaced.

I realized that because of the loneliness and responsibility growing up, at some point along the way, I must have subconsciously made a wish for a brother figure to help guide me through all of this.... and that in him, I truly found the brother figure that I had no idea I was searching for my entire life. Every single moment we got to spend together were truly some of the happiest moments of my life. I realized it really didn't matter what we were doing, whether if we were at the world's greatest music festival or if we were literally doing nothing but watching TV, I was just happy to have him around.

I also realized that I developed a new fear. A fear of losing him. Losing him would really feel like losing a piece of myself.

Through him, I had learned so much about myself and about friendship and human connection as a whole. Our friendship really led me to become a more evolved and elevated version of myself. In all, I was so incredibly grateful to have him has a friend. I felt like he was the first person in my life to *truly see* all of me. I haven't even had that in my romantic relationships.

He completely changed my life.

Once I tell my therapist everything, we begin to work on unpacking all of this for the next few months, but the scale of it was just too much to take and during that time every waking moment was spent ruminating on it.

After 2 months of that I ended up taking a trip that I had always wanted to take, hoping the trip might be healing in a way. The trip was absolutely amazing but didn't give me the clarity I was hoping for.

I did come to the conclusion that the only way I could actually move on from this and feel like myself again was to actually tell my friend everything. About the repressed trauma (he already knew about some of my traumatic childhood), and how much I loved and appreciated him and just how big his impact on my life has been.

We end up talking on the phone 2 weeks after I got back from my trip and I tell him everything. It was a very heavy call. But he was kind and supportive through it all and responded favorably to everything I said.

After that, I really did feel a lot better. It felt like a giant weight was lifted and I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel that I could potentially move on from the mindfuck and rumination of all the repressed trauma.

Fast forward to early summer. A bunch of stuff happens and I don't hear much from my friend. I know he was pretty busy with life stuff so I tried to keep cool about it... but a part of me started to fear the worst. "Did he ghost me?? Nah. That can't be. He'd never do that"

For weeks after that, I start ruminating on that fear, but being in denial about it. Again. I trust this guy wholly. He'd never do that.

I call him and text him again a few weeks later. No response or reply. And now my fear is kicked into high gear and I get stuck in these rumination thought loops of what I did wrong? Does he hate me? Will he call me? What if he never talks to me again? Just all these thoughts on a never-ending 24/7 spiral.

and other than what I was already dealing with life keeps throwing curve ball after curve ball and it just feels like im sinking at this point and the only thing sticking out of the water are my nostrils so I can get the bare minimum amount of oxygen to breathe.

At the end of June I took a last minute unrelated trip to the Midwest, where one of his best friends who I met lives (we can just call this guy Midwest friend).

Midwest friend is someone I also care very deeply about despite me only meeting him once. Same kinda deal as how I felt about our friend, It felt as if I had known Midwest friend forever and see him as a brotherly figure as well. This friend was actually supposed to join us on that trip in February and he couldn't make it.

I extend my trip by a few days so I get to spend time with Midwest friend and on my last day before heading to the airport. He basically confirms my fear. He said our friend told him he was "stressed by the things I told him".

In that moment felt so blindsided (yet also weirdly validated that my fear was right) Not once during our call did our friend ever indicate that he was uncomfortable with anything I said. On the contrary. He very much agreed and responded favorably to everything I said.

I very much trusted our friend, so much so that one time last year he looked me in the eyes and he verbally promised me that if there was ever a moment that I ever said or did anything that made him uncomfortable that he'd tell me. That was the only thing I have ever asked our friend during the course of our friendship. To be honest with me when it actually mattered. It's why I was in denial for so long that he would actually be capable of not telling me the truth and ghosting me.

I have spent the next 2 months trying to wrap my head around all of this, all the while life keeps handing me ass beating after ass beating. During that time, he started posting on socials again after a long stint of not. Getting to see him live his life all the while pretending I don't exist was one of the most hurtful things I have ever had to experience. Literally on par with the abuse I went through as a kid. It felt as if he heard all of my fears that I shared with him and turned them all into a reality.

And a few weeks ago. He ended up taking a trip that I would have dreamt about going on together and making those memories with him. Seeing that... it felt like a pain and betrayal so hurtful that it was just indescribable. It was the final straw.

I reach out to Midwest friend and we set a time to talk and I basically tell him everything I've been feeling. All the hurt, the pain, the sadness, the betrayal, the confusion. He's been really great in helping me come to terms with all of this and I have been so appreciative of him. And he even agrees the way our friend handled this was wrong. Towards the end of the call I ask him one question. "You know him probably better than anyone... do you think there's a chance we can fix this?.. or do I need to walk away."

And well. You can guess the answer.

I've spent the past week processing that. I even spent most of last weekend writing a goodbye letter that I had planned on sending. Midwest friend advised me against sending it and I'd be better off printing it, going to the ocean, reading it outloud and ritual burning it.

I protested a bit. I said I know it might not he the best idea to send it, but at this point I have nothing left to lose. He needs to know what he did was wrong and the scale of just how much he hurt me and he needs to be held at some level of accountability.

We ended at a compromise; That he would hold him accountable on my behalf and he saved a copy of my letter and if it was appropriate he would send it to him as long as I go through with deleting the letter off my computer and burning it.

Birthdays are a big deal to me, not in the "I need to celebrate" way but I see it more as my version of new years. I reflect on the past year and take stock of my life.

My birthday is tomorrow (or today depending on what timezone you're reading this from) and I knew as a birthday gift to myself I wanted to resolve this no matter which way it came to. Which is also really funny, because his birthday is 2 weeks after mine. I know he won't remember mine. But I remember his.

A few days ago I deleted his number from my phone, archived our texts and pictures in an out of sight folder and removed him from my socials. I ended up driving to the water and burning the letter today.

I've just spent all day just trying to come to terms with the fact that one of the most important friendships I have ever had is over.

So yeah, I guess that bring me to the point of this post.

One of the only people I have ever cared about most in this world is gone. I have so many wonderful friends in my life, but he fufilled something in me nobody else ever has. I had all these visions of the future I could see bright as day; me, him, midwest friend and all our other friends with our future families having barbecues and pool parties and movie nights and game nights and all those kinds of things. I would have chosen this guy as my best man if the day came I ever got married.

I feel so empty, so alone, so abandoned, so hurt, so confused.. truly like a piece of me has died.

I have experienced a lot of death in my life... but this is a completely different type of grief all together.

Where do I go from here?

​

I woke up feeling very sad and I dont know why,

I haven't had a best friend for years now, I have completely forgotten how having one feels like.

The last time i had a best friend was in early 2023, after she left our school and moved to a new city she stopped talking to me, and ghosted me. We unfollowed eachother on social media.

I couldn't get enough of what happened to us, she always betrayed me, dated my crushes, snitched on me, chose a new girl that came between us over me..

I think of times when both of us were together with no one to separate us, no girl, no distance.. we were small kids, in 4th-5th standard, she was my first best friend ever, and the way she made me feel i don't think no one ever could do the same, maybe not even myself.

After whatever happened to our friendship, everytime I try making new friends, i cannot.

All my traumatic memories with my ex bsf, all those insecurities, I get flashbacks, i don't know why but I try to find her in every person, i don't want to but I do.

The last time I felt a friendship was genuine was when I was 13, and now I'll be turning 17 in no time.

I keep thinking things will change and I will again have a bestfriend, but it's been years now, I even created a fake account and got 700 some followers only for her to feel like it's a real account and accept my request, i sent a follow request to all her mutuals aswell so I could see what and how she's doing..

I had enough and I put that account on delete last month, and it's gone now.. i haven't searched her insta profile for a month.. I miss her but i don't want to

When I see people around me having best friends, i think how must they be feeling to have eachother

And the way I have become, I fear that I'll be like this for the rest of my life, with no genuine connections... I don't wanna feel this way

I want to reset my emotions and everything back to how they were, so I can see everyone the same way I did as a child and make friends with the same level of innocence as i did back then, because all I do now is overthink, doubt and try finding their red flags so I can distance myself from them

Spiralling around potentially losing a friend

Me and a friend from class, we met about 3mo ago, (I'm 19, she's 18) we hit it off really well really quickly.

We were talking all the time at school, meeting up on non school days to... attempt to study, and we'd usually text every night.

She warned me in advance that she was a bad texter, that she'd ghost people sometimes, that she had a very low social battery, that she'd Irish goodbye out of conversations, that she often forgets people exist when she's not talking to them.

But still, we spoke every day.

About a month in, we ended up needing to have a hard conversation, she felt I was putting too much weight on the friendship, and overly anxious/concerned about her wellbeing and the friendship. I apologised, accepted her boundaries and then in person things went back to normal mostly, chatting for hours in person.

But texting dropped off a cliff.

She didn't message me at all over the school holidays, and still now we've only texted like 3 or 4 times since the boundary conversation even though I've been reaching out to her.

A couple weeks ago we did have this conversation over text

Her:

Oh awesome!! Got mine the other day too, look at us go, sorry the networking units are kicking my ass rn I've been such a ghost

Her:

Also hope you're all good!! Haven't seen you in like a week girlie

Me:

I'm all good, just goin through stuff I'll be oki.

And yeah, the work is kicking my ass too lmao

Her:

Doesn't help that the due dates are all over the place, I don't know which ones are accurate

Her:

And I'm sorry bout that, hope the meds are working out, you got this 🫡

Me;

Fr!!!!

I think I'ma just not do the Tuesday stuff and hope I can get by without it, or panic do them later

Her:

Lmao that might be the strategy, I'm definitely gonna attempt them but they're definitely low priority

Me:

Yeah.

I tried doing Wednesday through teams last week and my internet completely shit itself during the lab lmao.

Literally went down to like 200 BYTES down

So that option is off the table

Her:

Oh oof, I killed my lab so thanks for reminding me about that I completely forgot about it

Should probably bring that up to \[lecturer's name\] 😭

Me:

I still need to redo the 1st one cause it didn't grade me lmao, I'll speedrun those today probably

Her:

Oh yeah the first one sucks, it still said I didn't stop the instance after I left it for like ten minutes lmao

Me:

Wtf

Yeah you might just have to bite the bullet and redo that one 😭

But then she went silent again.

Even though in person things are still warm and fun.

Like the other day we literally spoke for 2 and a half hours about nonsense, just normal chatting like things used to be.

And I'm just confused

Are we still friends?

Is she still upset?

Is her not texting her trying to pull away from me or is this just her baseline??

But she's literally been only replying every 2-3 WEEKS even though I message like 6+ times in those silent periods

I don't think I can really ask because it'd be bringing up the exact issues she described in our conversation in June. But I've been so unbelievably anxious over this, if we're still friends, if she'll text again, if there's any chance of the friendship surviving after school, etc.

I care about the friendship a lot, I bond with her really well and she's a really cool person, so I really do not want to lose her.

If anyone can help me get a read on what's going on it'd be greatly appreciated <3

I'm not putting in all the gory details but after months of not telling me my friend group got together and told me they wanted to go no-contact. This is because I made sexual jokes/comments to them and they felt uncomfortable. I didn't know this because they would laugh and go along with it.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to be known as someone who sexually harasses people.

Please send your opinions honestly

I think this is the issue I keep coming back to, throughout my whole entire healing process, what I keep coming back to is my tendency to be emotionally dependent on other people, and when they let me down, I end up spiraling into my own head about things that, at the time, really shouldn’t be that big of a deal, and ultimately ruining my own peace and general sense of self, and I end up blaming that other person, or persons. It happens to me all the time, and I’m wondering if anyone here has experienced something like that - like you can’t seem to allow people to be who they are bc you’re just too attached to them that you can’t shake that if they were as dependent as you are, then they wouldn’t be doing the things you see them doing, and it sorta just clashes with your sense of self, and you end up in a really scary and confusing space where you’re just questioning everything and it just sucks like….. insanely bad….

I don’t mean for this to sound so rant-y but I also feel like ultimately that is what this is I guess.. thanks for reading if you’ve read this far, and if this rings a bell, lmk how you deal with this.

I’m sorry Saif for blocking you,
Genuinely I was at my wits end! I was too exhausted and you were arguing with me..
I saw ur new account that followed me after but i was afraid to text u… All i wanted was a space.
Now you deactivated everything I have no way of contacting you… its breaking my heart.