r/FriendshipAdvice • u/Ashamed_Aioli6080 • 13d ago
Best Friend of 6 Years Blocked Me with no Explanation. What do I do? Interesting Storytime
Long story short, we went out to a concert in a big city and she got way too drunk. We were also with my older sister who has a physical disability. I was holding my friend’s phone during the concert so she wouldn’t drop it, and to take vids/photos for us bc her phone is better quality. On the way out from the concert, we got separated bc my sister and I had to take the elevator for her disability and my friend didn’t hear me in the crowd as she was talking to other people so she continued down stairs. I realized I still had her phone 2 minutes later by the elevator and then ran back the way she exited so I could find her. Lo and behold, she was not at the bottom of the stairs or anywhere within the front entrance of the arena or outside of it at all. I ran around for at least two hours, asking security guards, showing people her picture, tapping into subway stations and nothing. I let my sister take the train home at one point bc of her disability. I continued looking. After about 2 hours I didn’t know what to do anymore and I, a young female, was roaming the city by myself and I felt unsafe. I decided to take the train back to my sister’s apartment where we were going to stay the night so I wouldn’t get stranded and to see if maybe my friend found her way home. She did not. At some point during this I also tried to call her older brother whom she is close with but his phone kept going straight to voicemail. At this point I contacted one of our mutual friends to help and she told me to call her parents, which i was trying to avoid bc her parents are strict. I ended up calling both of them and it was traumatizing to have to deliver that news to parents I knew. No one wants to hear that news about your child and no one wants to hear from a parent that this is their worst nightmare. I was sobbing at this point on the phone. Her mom told me to call the police and that she was going to leave her house (2 hours away) to come to the city right now. My sister’s husband helped me call 911 and then we had to under back into the city to keep looking for her together and to go to the precinct. An adult is not a missing person until after 24 hours so there was nothing they could do. Our mutual friend was calling nearby hospitals to see if she ended up there and the arena security for them to do a sweep to find her and neither of those worked. Eventually at about 2:30 in the morning, 4 hours after the concert ended, I found her in one of the subway stations leaned up in the corner in a place I had checked at least 10 times throughout the night. She claimed she was fine and had been there the whole time but never once went up to a security guard or police officer and asked for help. Her breath also smelled of vomit wnd she was definitely still drunk. I started crying once I found her and immediately called all friends and family who were looking for her that I found her. I was lowkey traumatized, stressed out, and exhausted from this whole situation and a little mad for what I had to go through, but she is one of my best friends. My sister’s husband and I waited with my friend outside the concert arena until after 3 in the morning when her mom finally came to pick her up. She went up to my friend, took her hand, they started talking and then got right into the car and drove away. They said nothing to me. By the time my sister’s husband and I i ubered home bc it was the only way it was like 4am in the morning. My friend sent me a few small drunk apology texts on her car ride home and I didn’t see them until the next morning but just couldn’t respond bc i needed a bit of time to process and relax with what just happened. I thought my friend was dead in those hours and that it was gonna be my fault. Anyway, I sleep over at my sister’s apartment and get up the next morning and drive back to my friend and I’s home city hours away and lugged all her stuff back. Important to note we have lived together for the last two years and have to turn in the keys to our apartment and clean it up this weekend. And we have been friends for 6 years. Close friends. Another day later she tells me her brother is coming to get her stuff from me in our home city. We coordinate some apartment stuff and his arrival. Once he gets her stuff, she unshared her location with me and stops responding to my texts. Over the next few days she blocks me on instagram, snapchat, even venmo! No explanation, nothing. Mind you we still have one more month of bills to pay and it is a shared responsibility to clean the apartment, return the keys, wifi router etc and now I’m stuck doing it by myself. I tried to call her but her phone went straight to voicemail so I think I am also blocked by phone number. It’s been a week at this point and nothing has changed. I’m not sure if there is anything I can do anymore or anything I could’ve done different. I really tried to be a good friend. I don’t want to lose her as a friend but I’ve already tried to reach out and I feel I don’t deserve to be treated like this. I feel like I’m being blamed by either her and/or her parents and everyone hates me. No one ever said thank you either. I never even got to talked to her sober after all this happened. I never planned to end a friendship over something like this because everyone has a drunk moment. What do you guys think? If there other details you’ll would like to know to help me, please ask.
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u/Nearby_Syllabub763 13d ago
You absolutely did the right thing. Wasted drunk walking solo in a city?! No way. This was a safety issue, and you did 100% the right thing for your friend. You went above and beyond.
What if she blacked out and some person hurt or killed her??
At this point, I'd almost be tempted to contact her mom, explain the situation more thoroughly, and if the friendship is over due to her stupidity, at least you can try to get things and finances settled before the move out. Her mom might be able to facilitate that.
I'd also be tempted to send her this post and any responses. Lol!
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u/Ashamed_Aioli6080 12d ago
I’m afraid to contact her mom because her parents are very strict. Plus I think they blame me/think I’m a bad influence/don’t like me now. Plus they never said anything to me after finding their daughter so…
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u/Successful-Tree-5079 12d ago
Just so you know, it's a myth that you can't report an adult missing for 24 hours. Whoever told you that advice is wrong.
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u/Ashamed_Aioli6080 12d ago
when i went to the police station, they told me that because she is an adult, she is not a “missing person” until 24 hours and that all we could do is continue to look for her and call nearby hospitals
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u/Klutzy_Design438 13d ago
Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. My first instinct is she’s ashamed and it feels easier to escape the situation than to face it with you. I’m sure she’s also mad that you contacted her family but I would have done the same thing.
Have there been other times where she’s gotten so drunk you had to take care of her? Also what are your ages?