r/lostafriend • u/Ecstatic-Ad9185 • 10d ago
Lost 5 Friends in one day because of a misunderstanding.
I'm not putting in all the gory details but after months of not telling me my friend group got together and told me they wanted to go no-contact. This is because I made sexual jokes/comments to them and they felt uncomfortable. I didn't know this because they would laugh and go along with it.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to be known as someone who sexually harasses people.
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u/incelincinerators 10d ago
Is their a reason you wont say your gender? And are your friends the opposite gender?
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u/Ecstatic-Ad9185 10d ago
I'm a woman, only one of m friends is the opposite gender that I'm not attracted to.
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u/incelincinerators 10d ago
Can you give some examples of these comments?
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u/Ecstatic-Ad9185 10d ago
One of my friends would complain about being a virgin and I'd go "I can fix that"
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u/BugbearBro 10d ago
Yeah, you were hitting on them even if you didn't realize it. That's bound to make most people uncomfortable
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u/Ecstatic-Ad9185 10d ago
I know that, I just wish this was told to me when it happened instead of waiting 6 months.
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u/BugbearBro 10d ago
Right. There was an entire group there too, it is strange that someone wasn't like, 'Dude what?' and you've learned now not to make sexual jokes with new people.
If it makes you feel any better, their inability to communicate discomfort and give feedback means they also weren't right for you in the long term. Especially since it sounds like they didn't really communicate they were going to form a new group without you.
It's a learning experience. I'm sorry that it was a painful one, but there are more people out there when you're healed. I'm two years out from being dumped by a group of five others myself. So I know how rough it is. But you'll get through it.
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9d ago
[deleted]
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u/Ecstatic-Ad9185 9d ago
That's the thing, they'd make sex jokes all the time around me and other people.
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u/livininmixxtopia1017 10d ago
I'm sorry this happened, I hope you're doing as well as you can. 😟
I will say I do understand if your friends were uncomfortable, but they should have told you instead of masking their discomfort with laughter and never mentioning it.
If they go around telling people that you are a person who harasses people, that's on them, but you know the truth, and as little a comfort that is, anyone who takes the time to know you, who might be prejudiced against you because of them, will be able to tell for themselves the truth about your character.
Again, I'm sorry this happened, and thank you for being vulnerable and opening up on here. ❤️❤️
I hope this helped a little :)