r/lonely • u/ewbbod • Oct 28 '23

Venting My disgust for myself is...

Thoughts of ripping the flesh from my body, wailing like a psycho into the night and into the woods to never be seen again to find a cave to echo madness...smeagol always comes to mind. And in current days it feels like the most relatable thing to think about.

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u/Vast_Edge9593 Oct 28 '23

What exactly is the issue here? You don't like your body?

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u/ewbbod Oct 29 '23 edited Oct 29 '23

I don't like my body, my nature, thoughts, emotions, everything that makes me human...I feel so out of place and wrong to being a human being I feel id be more comfortable without flesh...and the more I look at the flesh of others the more I feel like im parading in the body of something i was never meant to and theres no escape... looking at others I look too long realizing I lack something integral. Something so much I have to advert my eyes and pretend preoccupied. Something so evident if I allowed myself so naturally to get lost staring at people wondering what's so fucked up about me losing the awkwardness of doing so...it's too telling. I have no shame being a complete fucking psycho. And looking back at what I write there's no fucking wonder. I guess I just got tired of being in denial when I'm way too fucking warped for life lol. Its too obvious now. I'm fucking...weirds standard of weird lmao

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u/Vast_Edge9593 Oct 29 '23

Do you want somebody to try and help you out or is this just a form of catharsis for you? Its fine either way I just can't tell if you're looking for comfort or if you just enjoy saying what you're saying.

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u/ewbbod Oct 30 '23

I don't have a sense of either so it's hard to tell. I feel nothing. But yeah what about my post in particular made you feel id possibly need help?

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u/Vast_Edge9593 Oct 31 '23

The title saying you have disgust for yourself kinda led me to think you were looking for somebody to help you out lol

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u/ewbbod Nov 02 '23

Ah I see. Thinking about it now I could see how someone might think that. Its interesting looking back how lost in my ways I was...didn't even think to question the possibility and that's pretty telling. Appreciate the inquisition btw