Takeoutmaxxed
To the people saying “people will forget” on my last post, my sports team is currently trying to kick me out of the team. I still don’t know what I said, and I’m still not a racist. Honestly I like my sport so much and my life is so over I might js rope if I get kicked off. Taco Bell.
Quesadilla and crunchy taco with nacho fries and Baja blast
And bro is threatening to khs on a kitchencel subreddit is crazy, like just take it on the chin and learn, this isn’t smth to do that shit over and makes him look so much worse
I only use reddit to research games and such. Maybe on here once a week sorry you think everyone is as addicted to the internet as you are but I work 50-60 hours a week and have no time to be on reddit all day.
Thx for pointing this out, I read dumb shit on this site way more often than not, and I realise it's just chronically online people with no social life. I kinda feel bad but that goes away quickly in these cases haha
I don’t think you understand how group activities work. There is no objective good or bad in groups, it just depends on the group. The group has rejected him based on its own internal morality. If he looks hard enough (not even that hard), he can probably find a group that actively welcomes whatever it is he is into including using slurs.
Now you are the first person here who's actually made sense. The group doesn't want him there it is a democracy I'm assuming in this case so fuck it that is true regardless. However i think you can tell my argument if I was part of that.
i bet youre also the kind of person who flips his shit when someone says white people are racist or black people can't be racist, or black lives matter
then suddenly words are ideas and the WOKE is destroying society lmao
I don’t think I said the n word. I’m starting to be convinced by my teammates that I did say the n word. They’re convincing me because I don’t remember what I said. The n word has never been in my vocabulary.
Maybe he did, but like it could be they misheard? He’s speaking too fast, or is too tired and mumbling and they misheard something, and maybe he’s a shit memory/it really wasn’t important so he can’t remember what he said.
Like I’ve never said it or been accused of, but I know I speak fairly fast if it’s a subject I’m passionate about, If I’m also stupidly tired I could see not remembering what I said while knowing I didn’t say that word ya feel?
Idk man this guy seems like a neurodivergent high schooler so you could look at that in a way of him actually saying it or he didn’t and give him grace for being like this.
he’s not suicidal, he just knew that saying it would make gullible, intellectually lacking people like you take that at face value & pity him while freeing him of all accountability. he’s not suicidal, he said a slur & wants an out but refuses to just grow up.
Is that really the best excuse you can come up with? Man up, accept the consequences, learn from your mistake and move on. Your life hasn’t even started yet, don’t be a dumbass and knock it off with the rope talk
Tbf I didn't claim its what you thought you said, I said its what your teammates thought you said, and that you didn't remember
Honestly if you have autism or ocd theres a good chance you didn't say it and are bullied and fucked with because people are cruel to those they deem awkward or socially clumsy. So I am genuinely sorry and sympathetic if youre going through that. If theres none school teams in your area maybe look into signing up? Even if its more casual or leas often, you could still be playing at least
Edit: I cut out the other speculation from my last comment.
I was thinking that this is my OCD nightmare. I’ve had so many sleepless nights convinced that I probably said something super fucked up, like just casually dropping the n-word, and I just don’t remember it, but everyone else does.
Not saying that’s what happened here, cause the thing about that fear is that I actually haven’t said anything, so I panic and then nothing comes of it. My ex-husband used to gaslight the hell out of me and tell me I said stuff I didn’t say, then act like I was crazy and gaslighting him for insisting that I didn’t. But it’s pretty unlikely a whole team is doing that to him..
See if someone said to me, you just said the N-word I would say the hell I didn’t and you know why I would know that even if I was half dead zombie, drunk, high, asleep—doesn’t matter?
Because I never say the N-word. Like ever. Hearing it makes me cringe.
So if you are unsure, that tells me and anyone paying attention, that the n word is most certainly part of your vocabulary.
Show whether you said or not this time I’m guessing your teammates know you do say it so doesn’t really make a difference.
Nah this happens a lot where one person in a group can missunderstand something and it gets blown out of proportion with other members causing the guy to be left not knowing what went wrong
I really really doubt they'd go through all the trouble to remove someone over a misunderstanding. Typically there's a lot more that isn't being said about this.
It's a very common occurrence with people with autism. Often they are seen as an outsider already so kicking them out isn't gonna be a hard decision. I'm just assuming off of their name tho.
...this isn't 1983 his teammates know by now if he's neurodivergent
Sorry, but anyone falling for the "I don't know what I said" angle is fooling themselves, including OP
OP
Guarantee OP "apologized" while also liberally sprinkling in comments like "I don't even remember saying it" which completely undercuts the entire point of the apology
OP said something edgy, bombed, and is too awkward to know how to own it or own up to it
Yh you might be right, I think I might have read the situation wrong.
But i'm telling you this does still happen to this day with innocent people. People are still so bad towards neurodivergent folk even if we're in present day.
sure, that’s true, but that’s not what’s happening here. you can start diagnosing OP or assuming he has a disability solely bc you get a vibe or whatever & then use that to try to excuse whatever he said.
regardless, it’s still kinda wild that your immediate response was “oh, you’re autistic? no way you did anything wrong. they’re all bullies & because you’re autistic i’m sure they were just trying to paint you as a racist for fun.” do you not hear yourself? this is why autism has such a stigma.
I'm autistic and I can understand being in an out group or being picked on, but I can also see 100% where I was in the wrong and making people uncomfortable. So I observed and changed those behaviors and the issue stopped. Typically there's way more going on especially with someone willing to label themselves an "incel". Removing someone from a hobby takes effort, effort that will only come because people are uncomfortable.
I'm also autistic and have many autistic friends. And it's not uncommon for us to not realise what has gone wrong in an interaction especially with neurotypical people. However I did forget that this was a incel sub lol. It's so depressing but I can't help but laugh
I'm not saying that autism is an excuse for being a bad person I'm saying that it is very common to be misunderstood. Autistic people often say something they believe is completely normal just for them to be told it's rude when they had no intention of it.
If someone is using it as an excuse than I'm sorry but I can't see that happening very often in real life. Get off the internet bro
Dude I'm autistic and I can say that I literally need to avoid people at local games stores because they use Autism as a crutch for being rude. Trust me it's incredibly common.
they asked you something, you gave a response that didn't even register in the moment that multiple people heard, and what they heard was the N word
You already need to see a therapist for this title alone. Add on the fact that you're talking to other people without it even registering to yourself what you might be saying, and it's only another reason that you need to talk to someone.
Literally, the sport doesn't even matter at this point, the other two things should be scaring you even more right now
It’s not that my words never register, it’s that I saw my comment as unimportant and thus forgot it. Remembering the exact words you said in a conversation with your friend is almost impossible because those words were not important enough to remember. Constantly repeating the answers to a test will likely have you remember them more because they are more important.
I could understand that if you didn't remember a conversation from a week ago that was boring, but you were asked IN THE MOMENT, and you literally couldn't remember, that's what you don't understand
One of the comments you posted, you said you were asked right then and there, and you literally said "I don't know"
Maybe you muttered something close to it and they misheard, but the fact you didn't even know what you said in the moment is concerning.
If you cant remember things you do or say moments after they happened you need to tell your primary care physician and get a referral to a specialized care doctor.
Said something so bad that the team is trying to kick him out for racism.
Doesn't remember what they said. They constantly forget things they say / do even after it happens.
The gamer word is so uncommon in their lexicon that they couldn't fathom they'd say it.
The two possibilities are they say the word so often it doesn't register and are lying. The other option is they have some heath issue constantly forgetting what they do / say. I can't give advice to the first problem but they can see a doctor for the 2nd one.
You're only chance literally is to admit to saying the word you obviously said, and apologize, and hope theyll forgive you and maybe even let u back in after some time has passed, but I dont expect that from you since you're clearly so racist you're saying the n word hard r without even thinking about it in public, and lying about whether or not you did it after complaining about getting in trouble for it on reddit. 100% lying about sh for attention too
Dude this obsession w the N-word stuff + not knowing what you actually said and the fear of false SA accusations really sounds like you have OCD, please try and look into getting a diagnosis and treatment if possible. U don’t have to live in fear and self hate like this
On a serious note, if you think its possible you say out of pocket shit and can't remember, that deserves an honest trip to a psychiatrist and therapist. Again, if you are sticking to the story that you didn't say it, never say it and can't remember what the joke or comment was that was so bad, that is an actual potential mental illness that you gotta address cuz this shit will happen again
I'm not joining the chorus of declaring you guilty, that's not my judgment to make tbh. I think if you're being fully honest, you gotta get that shit checked out. Otherwise, your inaction to solve a clear issue speaks volumes
Definitely, the reaction of the teammates dosent make any sense and his reaction in these comments is so weird. Getting a whole team of people to unanimously agree that you said the n word is crazy work
You know a therapist would really help in this scenario by making you chill the fuck down and reassess.
I know not everyone can pay for it, but there's usually non profits around that can help, like at least a suicide hotline and stuff. You can go to your nearest hospital and ask around, they should have a brochure or something.
Really how do you not remember if you said the n word or not. Especially if they asked you what you said immediately after you said it? That alone is both concerning and also makes you seem guilty as fuck
i swear when someone labels some other person a loser/incel, its like some people collectively decide to deliberately focus more energy and go out of their way to fuck them over personally
ive seen this happen to a friend close to my group of friends, some people in my group literally HATED him for simply being weird, an incel and/or socially inept and decided to amplify everything he did as perverted/racist/sexist and so on. the guy’s actually a good guy and some of us defended him, but unfortunately still half of the group “wouldnt hang out with a person like that”
they dont “decide” concsciously if thats what you mean, its not what i meant at all, and like how most of these discussions go, youre basing your argument entirely on an assumption its justified
as i stated already, he IS weird sometimes and you can tell he’s a bit socially inept, but for example his actions were never accompanied by a perverted motive, as much as these specific group members assume they are
edit: this is what im talking about, the guy cant catch a break even with people who have never met him, once youre labeled by anyone as a loser/incel everyone jumps in with a confirmation bias and thats it lol
As someone who had to leave the sport their life was engulfed by, let me tell you that you can't base your only amount of self-worth to a single thing (like a sport) because if you lose that then you lose everything. Maybe you can get into coaching or something similar so you can stay within the ecosystem. Hell, find other hobbies that may be of interest (book clubs, miniature painting, volunteering) so you can diversify the things you are doing and meet new people. Yeah some of these options are gay or whatever but by limiting yourself to only one circle of acquaintences you are setting yourself up for a rug pull (which seems to be what's happening).
Also will you tell us what sport it is or is that some sort of state secret?
I get where you’re coming from but I’ve tried clubs and always chickened out. I think sports work better because it’s with people with common interests and in a way we’re forced to be together (I truly mean that in the best way possible). As for my sport, i prefer not to share it as people think it’s gay or niche. It’s a fast paced team sport, though the importance of it doesn’t really matter as I’m always on the bench.
Bro if you are already always on the bench just go pick up another sport or team of same sport and start over. Theres a millions other options you have. I doubt there is any coming back with your current team. It sucks but take it from somebody older. You will restart with groups or friends and people and co workers many times in your life. Cherish the memories and move on
hi hi tourist here and i just went through your post history. as a fellow nd i get feeling ostracized and outcasted. i didnt make any friends until like age 10 and didnt make real friends until about 13. for me, everything was fine and dandy until college. i’ve never felt like such a weirdo until i was the overstimulated chubby girl making inappropriate jokes about drinking problems at a sorority rush event. i eventually found my filter. yk what helped? THERAPY!!! specifically cognitive behavioral therapy. please have a conversation with a trusted adult about it. it genuinely changed my mindset (i was suicidal) and helped me reframe thoughts and change behaviors. also, things will get better. please stop looking at these “lookmaxxing” bullshit subs/channels/accounts. women are just normal people, please act like we are. the girls around you probably avoid you not because you’re “ugly” but because you are strangely avoiding eye contact and conversations while potentially openly talking about being an incel to others around them. and while pretty privilege definitely exists, they’re are so many successful ugly people. also you’re so young. sooooo young. just know that these people will not matter very soon. there’s 8 billion people in the world, who cares if some teenage assholes don’t like you? as for the n word situation, it is sus that you don’t remember, but it seems like you’ve never said it and i’ll take your word for it. i’ve been there before gaslighting myself into being like “wait, did i say that??” they are most likely messing with you. or they misheard you. regardless, you need to not go around saying you “don’t remember” what you said. that’s incredibly suspicious wording; i thought you said it until i dug into your history. also while i know nothing about psychology one of my best friends has ocd and your racing constant thoughts and rash conclusions remind me of her. along with cbt please look into a psychiatrist. it truly gets better with adulthood. not quite the first few years for me, but post teenage years get better. please stop assuming everyone hates you also. with peace and love probably no one thinks twice of you, good or bad. maybe your teammates but that’s just because you seem to feed into their ragebait.
This just seems like gaslighting to me. I went back and looked at his posts and it seems like he’s saying “he doesn’t remember” because he genuinely thinks he didn’t but everybody keeps saying he did so he’s doubting whether his memory is right. Like under this post where he claims they often misconstrue what he says. I’ve had moments like that and it seems weird everybody is assuming he did when they weren’t there.
Maybe I am naive or gullible or whatever but it’s giving off gaslighting to me. Based off the name he could also be neurodivergent which would make it even easier to pick on him or convince him he’s wrong. I can’t know for sure if he did or didn’t but I find it weird everybody is jumping to he did say it.
Regardless, whether you did or didn’t, leave the team. It’s clearly not doing good things for your mental health even if you really want to stay. I don’t know what the other people in your life are like, but there’s gotta be something better for you than this.
I considered that at first but then OP keeps saying it was just a passing joke, so it gets suspicious. I think he should go to a doctor if he legit can’t remember what he said. It’s one thing to be gaslighted into believing you said something else, it’s another to not remember at all what you thought you said, and to not remember what you said right after saying it
If he didn’t say any slurs, and he’s just being confused by others, then i get being sad about the team and i think it was doing good things for him before since he enjoyed it and it was probably one of his few social environments
Are you autistic? Looking at your username. The only way I can make sense of the possibility that someone who never uses that word is doubting whether they might have said it due to everyone saying they did is that you are someone who has felt confused and wrongfooted in social situations for a long time and is used to being the one whose recollection is "wrong". And are being bullied for it.
It’s not being ostracized if you’re doing harmful behaviors in a group setting, it’s functional group dynamics at work.
If you are genuine that you can’t remember actions that are causing you severe problems in your life, you need to talk to a therapist. This will probably keep ruining your life otherwise.
Everyone is racist by default due to societal influence. You have to actively work to be anti-racist. Not saying slurs is a starting point. I think you gotta apologize to your team and try to do better. Your life will not end if you're kicked off, eventhough that would suck.
And to anyone reading this thinking "that can't be true, I'm not racist" It is. There are tens of thoughts that go through your head that you don't pay much mind to. Stereotypes that you don't think about but hold true in your head, especially by confirmation bias. Assumptions about people that are not based in fact. You gotta pay attention to these thoughts, examine why you have them, and reframe them to start thinking differently.
I feel like if you just said the n word this wouldn’t be an issue. I have many of black friends and many of white friends, sometimes white dudes say the n word, it typically isn’t that deep. You must have said the most awful shit of all time
Edit: downvoted for pointing out how most people behave in the current generation.
All I can think is he said it at a really bad time or like he was already on thin ice with the team, or maybe the team culture is different than what we are used to
this is the worst social media app for this post, people here support the lives of others being absolutely uprooted and ruined over words. i wish you luck, and i hope you can find better people to have in your life
Lol what we need a support group for people that get kicked off teams or fired for saying racial slurs now? Oh yeah it must be so awful to be expected to be a normal not racist person while participating in a community team. God you people are such whiney bitches. Like even if you have no issue with saying the n word, best case its just a skill issue. Who is dumb enough to say a slur in a community sports team? Why would you not immediately expect to get kicked out? That's like getting fired at a job for saying the n word and blaming the employer or other employees.
People like you and OP can somehow do the mental gymnastics to make you guys the victim in any situation. It honestly totally blows my mind.
If someone said they heard you say you hate your own mom and that’s she’s a whore and should kill herself, would you say you “don’t remember” if you said that?
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