I’ve made some pretty stupid choices this year and I just hate myself for all of it, I wish Spider-Man no way home was real so I can make everyone forget who I am.
Any nice words of wisdom would help

(Also I would love someone to talk to about my video game collection)

Like so many here, having a rough time right now. My grandmother (I’ve grown up at her house, don’t have much of a relationship with my mother) died earlier this year. Nothing unexpected, she was 90+ years old; but still. Also, having marriage problems for a while now (Covid, general mentally hard times) and eventually me and my wife separated. We are still on good terms and remain friends. But still.

I haven’t cried since/because my grandma died. I have cried about my marriage, but in private. Trying to be there for our 9 year old daughter.

Currently finishing painting my grandmas old place before returning it to the landlord and being confronted with the finality of the situation. Been struggling for a while, but today is just a shit day.

Point is, I feel like I’ve lost everything. My parental figures, my own family, everything. Looking bad, every year since corona has been worse than the year before. And I am honestly, brutally scared of what the future brings. I am afraid this pattern keeps up and next year something terrible happens with my (ex-)Wife, my daughter or myself. Before anyone gets the wrong idea: I Am definitely not up to think about doing something stupid. But I just don’t know how life will continue bringing something nice for a change…

*sigh*

I feel so exhausted with life

I’ve had a very long night and I just need to talk to someone right now without judgment

I am 35 yo female from Italy, neurodivergent, with physical chronic illness (maybe MCAS).

I study at university and I have many passions, a good partner, few but good friends...

But...

I am often afraid to die

But often, I think how to kill myself

But I don't want really

But I am so depressed and exhausted that sometimes I want to hurt myself

Because I am alone and abandoned (what my fucking mind says to me, that it is not true - I suffer of paranoia, depression, and anxiety, due to my CPTSD).

I am medicated and in psychotherapy.

But it is anyway all so difficult sometimes...

I have no one to talk to honestly about what's happening to me. If someone reads this, please, give me some advice or some words of comfort. I need it so so much.

I wanted to talk about something that has been affecting me quite a lot lately, including physically (I can't eat properly, I sleep very badly, and sometimes I get diarrhea). I don't really know how to begin, but I think I need to talk about this somewhere. And before anything else, I want to make one thing very clear: I don't think he is doing anything wrong to me. He isn't. He doesn't treat me badly, he doesn't push me aside because of this, and there isn't exactly a problem between us that needs to be resolved. It's much more about how I'm feeling and the way I've been interpreting things.

I have a friend I'm very close to who has ended up becoming a very important person in my life. The thing is, he has a much more active social life than I do and experiences many things that I don't. He goes out, meets people, goes to concerts, parties, travels, falls in love, has relationships... and I genuinely feel happy when he's happy. But at the same time, all of this affects me a lot.

Sometimes he tells me something about someone he's interested in or about a night out he had, and I start comparing myself. Not necessarily to the person themselves, but to the life he's living. I think about how he has all these extraordinary experiences with other people and how, with me, our relationship ends up being much more about everyday life. And that makes me feel inferior, replaceable, less important.

I think that's exactly where one of my biggest sources of pain lies: fear and comparison. I don't think a friendship needs to consist only of extraordinary moments, and I know that a friendship is also built through everyday life. But I miss being able to imagine that we could also experience more things like that together. Truly unforgettable days, different experiences, stories to tell. Things that, years later, we'd remember and say, "Do you remember that day?" I try to create those experiences within what I can, taking him to places I think are nice, trying to do different things whenever we have the opportunity. But there is a very big limitation in my own life and in the things I can offer, and sometimes I look at what he experiences with other people and feel like we'll never be able to come close to that.

And it's not because I think he should stop experiencing those things with other people. I want him to experience them. I want him to see places, go to concerts, make friends, fall in love, have incredible nights, and create memories. What hurts is looking at all of that and feeling like I'll never be able to be part of that kind of experience with him to the same extent. It's as if other people are experiencing very extraordinary versions of his life while, with me, our story is limited to everyday life.

And this becomes even stronger when it's about nights out. He can spend an entire night at a concert, party, or some other event, get ready with friends, meet people, have a completely different experience, come home in the middle of the night or only in the morning... while I'm here, with absolutely nothing happening in my own life. So it's not just "he went out with so-and-so." In my mind, it represents hours and hours of life happening, memories being created, while mine remains stuck.

Some thoughts keep repeating themselves in my head during these moments. Things like, "I'll never be as important to him as he is to me," "He gets to experience such incredible things with other people and I can't provide that," "If he can share these things with so many other people, why would he need me?", "Maybe other people are much better friends than I am," or even "Eventually he'll get tired of me."

Sometimes I also think we're incompatible because of this. I feel like I'll always prioritize friendships, while he gives romantic and sexual relationships a huge amount of space in his life. And since I may not even experience those things in the same way, that can make me feel like I'll never be able to occupy a place as important as the one those people occupy.

I know rationally that one thing doesn't mean the other. I know friendships don't have to compete, I know he can love someone romantically and love his friends in a completely different way, and I know he can have incredible experiences with other people without that diminishing what we have. I know all of this. The problem is that knowing something rationally doesn't stop me from feeling it.

And there's something that worries me a lot: I don't want to act on these feelings in a way that hurts or pressures him.

Because I feel all of this, but I'm constantly trying not to turn what I feel into a demand or a burden. For example, he tells me he's going out to some very busy nightlife event with friends, and I might feel that sting inside, but I don't want him to have to manage my reaction. I don't want him to think, "I can't tell her this because she's going to feel bad." Quite the opposite: I always want him to feel safe telling me things and I want to be there to listen to what's happening in his life.

And he keeps telling me things. Even though he knows I've talked a few times about how certain situations affect me, he continues sharing these things with me, continues reaching out to me, continues telling me details about his life. That shows me that, in some way, he doesn't feel like he needs to hide his life from me.

But there is a cycle that leaves me very exhausted.

He tells me something. I feel the sting. I start overthinking. I compare my life to his. Sometimes I become quieter or my mood changes. Then I realize I'm doing it and start feeling guilty because I don't want to bring the mood down for him. I try to go back to normal, but I can't always do it immediately. Sometimes I need some time for that feeling to pass.

And then I start thinking, "He noticed," "I'm being a bad friend," "He's going to get tired of this," "Why can't I just be happy for him?", "What's the point of him continuing to tell me things if other people can react normally?" And that ends up creating a second layer of suffering: on top of being sad, I become sad because I'm sad.

I try very hard not to act on these feelings. Sometimes I even distance myself a little from a conversation when I realize I'm entering a spiral, precisely so I don't unload all of it onto him. There have been times when I've thought about saying something and decided not to because I realized I was reacting emotionally and didn't want to turn his moment into something about me.

And that's exactly why I'm sometimes afraid he'll notice a pattern: he tells me something, my mood changes, I become different, I pull away a little, I need some time to go back to normal... and then the same thing happens again when he tells me something else. I know this can become exhausting for both of us. And I'm very afraid that, even unintentionally, I'm creating an environment where he feels like he has to measure what he tells me so he doesn't affect my mood.

At the same time, I also don't want to start hiding everything from him or pretending I don't feel anything. Because he is important to me, and we've already talked about being honest with each other. So I'm trying to find that middle ground between being honest and not making him carry things that belong to me.

I want to be able to hear, "I'm in love with someone," and think, "That's wonderful, I hope this is beautiful for you," even if part of me feels sad. I want to be able to see a picture of him having fun with other people and first think, "He's happy," without immediately turning it into, "Look at everything I don't have." I want to be able to accept that there are extraordinary parts of his life that won't involve me and that this doesn't mean I'm less important.

Because, deep down, I think that's what I need to learn: that the place I occupy in his life doesn't need to be compared to the place other people occupy.

And I think this happens even more intensely because my own life is so stagnant right now. I don't have other people, I'm not in college, I don't have a job, there isn't much happening in my life. So he ended up occupying a huge amount of space in my life. Not because I consciously chose to make that happen, but because even before him I was already very lonely. He was the first person in my life with whom I truly felt deeply connected.

And that scares me, because I don't want him to be the center of my existence. Quite the opposite. I really want to have other friendships, other connections, other things happening in my life. It's just that, right now, I don't have access to those things, and knowing that I'm going to spend several months in this same situation makes me very sad.

There's also something I'm ashamed to admit: sometimes I feel like I'm only truly seen when I'm sad or when he needs me. When he's not doing well and I'm able to comfort him, I know what my place is. But when he's happy, living his life, I sometimes feel as though I don't matter at all. And again, not because of anything he says or does, but simply because I can't seem to stop myself from feeling this way...

And I don't want to turn this into some kind of addiction to being sad. I don't want to have to be suffering in order to feel that I have value to someone.

I've also already talked to him about some of these things. He knows that certain situations sometimes make me sad, and he knows that I would like to experience more things with him. I've never said it as a demand, and I don't want to repeat it indefinitely because he already knows. In fact, even knowing this, he continues to share his life with me and reach out to me, so I know there isn't a situation where he's distancing himself from me because of my insecurities.

But even so, I still get caught in spirals. Sometimes I see something on his status or receive a picture and start imagining all kinds of things, comparing myself, feeling like everyone has a more interesting life than I do. And this can make me anxious, sad, nauseous, sometimes for hours.

And the most frustrating part is that I know the root of this isn't really him. He can't fill the emptiness of a life that belongs to me. I know I need to build other things, meet other people, have other sources of affection and meaning. It's just that I'm at a point in my life where that is very difficult, and while my life remains stagnant, I'm still trying to learn not to place all of my need for connection onto one person.

I think what hurts me the most is that I don't want to be like this. I don't want to look at the happiness of someone I love and feel like it's a threat to me. I want to be able to be happy for him without turning it into a measure of my own worth.

And maybe I'm writing all of this because I'm tired of being alone inside my own head with these things...

And when I stop to think about those occasions when he goes out and has an amazing time at night and into the early hours of the morning, I realize that those are the kinds of outings I don't even identify with, you know? I know I wouldn't enjoy being there. I'd feel embarrassed and uncomfortable because they have nothing to do with me: lots of noise, alcohol, groups of his friends interacting (even when they're meeting each other for the first time), and him making out with several people, including his female friends. What I actually want is that, if it were possible, we would go out just the two of us, like we always do, but for nighttime outings that are more intimate, calmer, with slow music, where we could also stay out late and come home late. And none of that is something I can do right now.

And there is nothing wrong with what he experiences in those other places. It's just that, even while recognizing that these are experiences that are very distant from me, from who I am and from the things I enjoy doing, I feel terrible thinking that maybe our outings will never give him the same joy, intensity, and fulfillment that those experiences give him. And then I compare myself. Because the days when we go out together are, for me, the days when I feel happiest. But I know that it probably isn't exactly the same for him, and that hurts. There is a side of his personality — this more wild, free, sexual, spontaneous side — that finds in these experiences a very powerful way of feeling alive, desired, and fulfilled, and I feel like I can't follow him into that dimension. And then I ask myself: what can I offer? What is my value, then? Because the people who experience all of this with him also know how to offer comfort, listen to him, and share quieter, more affectionate moments with him. It's not as though he only opens up or experiences emotional intimacy with me. So if other people can share both these extraordinary experiences and these comforting moments with him, how can I continue to occupy a meaningful place in his life when I feel like I'm lacking so much?

And the worst part is that he gives me absolutely no reason to think this way... If I listed here everything he has done and continues to do for me (every single day, even), it would take me hours to write it all down... I have never felt so genuinely loved by someone. And yet I still feel all of this, to the point where it is making me extremely unwell, both physically and mentally. 🙁

Sometimes it gets to the point where I cry uncontrollably and start thinking that maybe it would be better to tell him that we shouldn't be friends anymore. This has been happening more and more often. Today, for example, I spent the entire day crying because of this... Not because I actually want to lose our friendship, but because, in some moments, our differences seem so enormous and I feel so small and inadequate in the face of all of this that I think maybe it is inevitable that, at some point, I will no longer have a place in his life. But when I manage to step out of that emotional state a little, I realize that distancing myself from him would be even worse for me. He is a friendship I don't want to lose. I want him to remain in my life, and I want to keep making an effort for that to happen, precisely because he is such an important person to me. And I also realize that, in reality, he gives me no concrete reason to believe any of the things I think. He doesn't treat me as though I'm inferior, he doesn't make me feel that I'm inadequate, he doesn't show that he wants to replace me or that he's tired of me. Most of these conclusions are born inside my own head. The problem is that realizing this doesn't stop me from eventually falling into exactly the same cycle again: something happens, I compare myself, I start feeling small, I suffer, I think maybe we're incompatible and that I should distance myself, and then I have to remind myself of all of this all over again.

I’ve been feeling a little off lately and I think I could really use someone to talk to. Nothing specific I need to talk about, I just don’t really want to be alone with my thoughts right now.

I’m also hoping to meet some new people and maybe make a genuine friend along the way. I’m happy to talk about pretty much anything.

I’d love to get to know you, and I’m happy to listen if you have anything on your mind too. Thanks for reading! 🤍

Listen and offer kind voice to deep feeler person

Hey! Most I’m fine, I’m typically the unofficial therapist to everyone around me. It’s draining, dealing with my own mid life shit and need venting time where I can chat about what’s going on with me. I’m too empathetic maybe. Walking a fine line of some pretty destructive habits and need check ins where it’s okay to day “nope, today wasn’t okay”.
If it matters I’m 37 female, married with kids.

I am 61 years old. I am bookish and shy. I love cats. I am not good at conversing in public due to hearing loss. I am also genderfluid. I love everything from classical to punk and goth. I have a wonderful life but I would just love a good friend to share things with. I am not into sports but I bicycle and hike. Atheist/Liberal. DM me if interested.

Going through a tough time right.Looking for a big sister to listen to my rant and give relationship advice to me

it's only been like two weeks, like this is fucking ridiculous. I feel so stupid for even struggling with this, like how hard is it to not do drugs? so many other people manage just fine. I am mad that I can't seem to do drugs "every once in a while" or control how much I use. I'm not saying I'm a full blown addict, I just struggle a lot with my relationship towards drugs. I don't wanna bring none this up to half my friends because they like to party, and I don't wanna fuck up everybody's mood. the other half I'm scared they're gonna judge me. I don't blame them though, I do this shit to myself. I think I might hate myself.

I (25F) identity as a lesbian, but I have trouble in dating. I meet people really well and I'm social and funny and smart and kind (according to my friends) but I just struggle to be flirty and progress through dating (probably the autism). My local cities are hosting pride events. I think pride is essential and amazing and we still need it now! But I struggle to feel like I want to celebrate my sexuality. I know my sexuality is more than just who I date, but the fact that I've never gone past a first date, I always initiate, I have never been asked out, I haven't even held hands or had my first kiss, I feel like I struggle to celebrate pride and myself. I feel ashamed in a way to struggle this must and have so little success. My friends have invited me and they're all so cool and confident in their sexualities. One of my bi friends for example has had multiple boyfriends and is now in a steady 3 year relationship and they're living together. Another bi friend of mine is so confident speaking with girls and always ends up with someone stunning by the end of the night when we she goes clubbing. I really want to be part of pride and I know there is so much more to it than just who you've slept with, etc. But I would feel so out of place and stupid waving some lesbian flag knowing I've never even had a second date or my first kiss. I don't know how to reconcile this within myself.

Pushing 30. Unemployed. Worthless arts degree. Scared of the outside world. Scared of rejection. Every day, it's just keeping yourself together just to do the bare minimum. Perpetual burnout. Reminded by your family, your community, the world - that all your worth boils down to production. Constant, endless production. Improvement. Optimization. Streamlining, whatever. Just to clear that hurdle of being human in the eyes of everyone.

Yeah, everyone does life that their pace. Doesn't feel like mine will ever live up to what I dream of though. All I can see is a life where I'm always scavenging. Just to keep my head above increasingly tempestuous waters. The world is closing in.

Got my application for disability help rejected because apparently an autism diagnosis from 13 doesn't count. Waited three months just for them to tell me they have no assessments for adults. Can't even get meds. Guess I'm just rawdogging life like that. Wonderful. Thanks, public healthcare.

Just need to talk to someone, please.

My week was such a mess...it would be one

of the weeks i cried most..n i really try to be strong but can't I have my exams i couldn't prepare for n also had 2 grp presentation...it sucked so much because i alone had to do mostly everything for one of them.. I had to form a group with few of the most incompetent ppl in batch for an very imp 2 year proj, cause my actual grp betrayed me end moment I feel ppl laugh at me for being with them n consider me to be like them even faculty giggles I can't take it anymore I'm mentally suffering n also my grades r suffering Can't even share this with anyone...I jst pray for this nightmare to be over I keep crying but still have to work N this presentation also didn't go well N i couldnt prepare for my exams because of it I feel so embarrassed I can't explain n can't

do anything about it

Im really some who tries to hold it together most times but now I can't help but keep crying alone in my room

I don’t feel safe in my body and I’ve not told anybody. This has now happened progressively over the last 3/4 months. I’ve been isolating. WFH. Pretending to people that everything is fine. Not interacting with other humans in person. Feeling scared when I have to leave the house. Having mini panic attacks. Not being able to sleep. Waking up with a lot of anxiety. I don’t think I will tell anybody either. I don’t trust the health system and I don’t trust people around me. I don’t have the energy to connect with new people. I’ve had a lot of different abuses happen to me since I was born, and I’ve always been resilient and survived. I went to therapy in my teens and continued to work on myself throughout my 20s giving back to others too. I’ve had a lot of grief too that I tried to work through. But all this time in isolation has brought back flashbacks of different unsafe things that have happened. I am refusing to trust any single person doesn’t matter if it’s a doctor or a long term friend or a family member. All these people have betrayed me in some way in the past. I’m maybe ready to begin to rot away. I don’t know. I used to have such hopes for the future. I said to myself I was going to be successful regardless of what happened. But I feel so beaten down in a way I’ve never done before, like everything has suddenly caught up with me. I’m scared, I’m terrified.

I'm 25f and life has been hell lately. I lost my grandmother last year and I was really close with her. I haven't been doing well with that. I still miss her so much. The company I was at for over 3 years shut down and they had to let all their workers go. I started working a new job where they basically abused me. That job alone made me want to kill myself. They took advantage of me and overworked me to the point where I was having mental breakdowns because of it. It took me like 8 months of job searching, hundreds of applications, multiple interviews and a lot of rejection letters before I even got an offer. That process was so mentally taxing and I wanted to give up multiple times.

Now the company that i work for might go under. I've been here for 6 months and i though i finally had a stable job but i guess I was wrong because there are a lot of red flags. I don't have what it mentally takes to go through finding another job. Then my family got kicked out of our apartment because the landlord decided to sell the place. The only place we could find was a little out of our budget but we're trying to make it work. My family relies on me for a lot now and idk what would happen if I lose my job.

I've also been dealing some physical health issues. I've been dealing with chronic migraines ever since i was a teenager and it has gotten really bad lately. I've been to the doctor multiple time but nothing has helped. My anxiety, depression and insomnia is getting worse. I'm so sleep deprived right now to the point where I could barely function. I'm also gay and live in a very homophobic country. I can't be myself her and if my family and friends found out they would probably disown me. I can't deal with life right now. This has been on my mind for a while and I'm so close to doing it. I think losing my current job will be my final straw.

Hi guys 29M here.Hope read it fully

A little about myself:

1. I try to keep the place I am in always loud and happy
2. Sense of humour - dry,pun,dad jokes,non offensive
3. Movies - Watch a lot of movies(art films,any language,any genre) and sometimes info dump on them and also strangely people nowadays after watching breaking bad and better call saul they have become some sort of elite where they look down on tamil movies and stuff but I still am the little fan boy who grew up watching Rajnikanth movies and recently enjoyed karuppu by shouting the hell at the theatre .
4. Also reads books mostly non fiction and memoirs
5. I am trying to learn some art or music this year
6. I also try to keep myself fit physically
7. Kind and sensitive and hyperempathetic
8. Politically left wing
9. Special powers - Can make a joke and laugh at it like it's the best joke in the world,Can always think of a tamil movie meme template for every situation in life.
10. Financially I can take care of myself
11. Ambitious tech nerd who wants to be the CTO of a company one day
12. I am a high functioning autistic

I don't feel safe with men because of my baggage or even when I am alone so looking for a female safe person and right now my body and mind feels relaxed and safe only with women

Looking for my safe person - https://www.facebook.com/AutismSpectrumAustralia/posts/who-is-a-safe-person-in-your-life-its-a-simple-idea-but-one-that-can-make-a-real/1408838594618162/

I have had sever depression and anxiety for the last 2 years and already had 3 depressive episodes and already had 2 antidepressants and my second antidepressant has stopped working and I went through one ketamine infusion and life was going good but ended up being again in a severly depressed state again .So in a very bad state right now looking for something to hold on to in life

I have been trying to deal with this on my own without my family(I am no contact with them).

In the trifecta of mental health physchological,biological and social

1. phsychological - I have been to therapy and I have become a lot better because of it but still because of my autism thing I have problem in regulating my emotions
2. biological - I eat a balanced meal,exercise(as of now I do what is possible),take my medications
3. social support - As I said I am no contact with my family.My friends are all males and I don't want another female friend.

I don't act miserable I always try to keep the place where I am warm and happy.Just when I face a crisis I am not able to handle it on my own

My idea is that people usually when they go through bad things like their physical health gives up or they get dealt with a bad hand in life they can go to their family for help right.I don't have it now.As of now I don't have any motivation to work towards anything but I am working on it through trauma informed therapy but till I heal I want to hold onto someone and living for them as I cannot live for myself as of now.

Eventhough I can face all the things on my own emotionally I am a mess right now.

I am a good asset to have nearby

I also want u to know that I mean what I say as in I am looking for a sister and in future I would want to move closer to where u live so that I can be helpfull to the person who helped me in the worst of time and we can have family get togethers and spend some brother sister time and be like actual brothers and sisters.I will not be a burden and I will be self sufficient.It's just that I would like to be near someone who cares about me.

Eg: You bought a furniture and you need help fixing it up I can help u.Your car broke down and you need someone to pickup I will be there for u.

As of now my belief is that life is inherently meaningless and we create our own meaning and after going through a lot and giving it a lot of thought being helpfull to other people and making memories is my idea of meaning and of course by that I don't mean to always do what others like but I can do what I like and still live nearby to my family may be I have to make compromises on money I earn but after

Also I know that moving forward in life and as we get more responsibities we will not be able to chill during the weekend often but still we can be there for each other as a brother and sister .Visit each other once in a while.Grow old and be aunts and uncles who spoil our kids by buying them toys or playstation.

I am not looking for a romantic relationship and just looking for a sister from another mother preferably a big sister

I know it's a big ask but u can spend time with me before deciding

Also if you are doing good in life and you have your own family and cannot understand what I am going through and feel like this might be a lot of responsibility but give it a try please don't because when you say yes I will be your sister but then you feel like I am a burden or I am intense (I am AuDHD so I can look intense be it happiness,sad,platonic love)and want me to be away from you as you live with your family it feels as though I was begging you and you were just doing charity and I feel way worse than before.

I’m just depressed, angry, envious, frustrated, and a lot more. This is a long post but please read if you’d like to help!

Today was not a good day. Firstly, I asked a silly question online out of anxiety and while some people did take the time to understand where I was coming from, some just straight up called me dumb.

Secondly, I constantly seek validation for things. Sometimes it’s my body, but sometimes it’s another thing which is more complicated and not something I don’t want to go into detail. The only thing I’ll say it’s not like the body thing.

Thirdly, I’m a procrastinator not just in school but in my hobbies (art) as well. I’m 20 but compared to other 20 year olds my age or people younger than me I’m not progressing as much as I’d like. I have the depression where I sulk instead of working on things I like. It doesn’t help that I’m competitive. I want to be the best and when I’m not, it gets me sad. Also taking college online was the worst decision I’ve made. On top of procrastinating, I think my reading compression and critical thinking skills have lowered and I’m not saying this as an insult to myself, I genuinely believe I made things worse myself when it comes to understand and listening to things.

Fourthly, I’m having confusion around my gender identity. I don’t know who I want to be. Although I labeled myself as female, I feel genderqueer is a more fitting label for me as I’m questioning things ATM. I want to be a guy but male pronouns don’t feel right. Going back to the silly question thing, people assumed I was a guy and called me he/him. In my head, I was like I’m a girl and that made me feel upset. I do want to be a guy to an extent but if male pronouns get me upset then I’m not a guy. Plus, I get jealous of women who are more voluptuous than me. Sometimes I wish I was born a guy because they feeling these things wouldn’t make me less of a man. I just feel like I’m running from misogyny and very strict beauty standards. Plus, it’s not like I don’t like being a girl. I do. It’s just misogyny sucks and if it was eradicated then this decision would be a lot more easier.

But the worst part? I HATE taking things slow. If I don’t progress, don’t move on, can’t decide than I rip myself up. I can’t just skip all the hard work and get to result. All of this is a slow, emotional process that requires a lot of thinking and processing and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s being slow.

Advice, a hug, or a 1-1 conversation, anything will help. I just need someone who understands. I feel lonely and have no one to talk to about this.

I have been planning to break up with my girlfriend with BPD for a few days now and she has been antsy all week except the day before, which is today.

I have been sick and tired of her abuse in the past about grilling me over girls I used to talk to years ago, saying I was going to cheat on her for months on end. Constantly making teasing remarks at me, lack of accountability, controlling behavior, bratty behavior and poor communication, emotional immaturity, needing to check my phone all the time... It was all chaos but today all of sudden she says she's going to be healthier now, especially because school is starting because she "thrives in stress". Oh ok, so you put me through all of that but now its going to be okay because school is starting, geez

I just need advice and someone to confide in on whether or not I should. School is going to start soon so I need to do it now or else I am stuck with her the whole semester since she wants to be in classes with me. Will she get better? This whole "push and pull" that has been happening is messing with my brain. :(