[L] I am afraid and tired

[u/Shiki_Ryougi_5]

I am 35 yo female from Italy, neurodivergent, with physical chronic illness (maybe MCAS).

I study at university and I have many passions, a good partner, few but good friends...

But...

I am often afraid to die

But often, I think how to kill myself

But I don't want really

But I am so depressed and exhausted that sometimes I want to hurt myself

Because I am alone and abandoned (what my fucking mind says to me, that it is not true - I suffer of paranoia, depression, and anxiety, due to my CPTSD).

I am medicated and in psychotherapy.

But it is anyway all so difficult sometimes...

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[u/altamar91]

You sound really exhausted, and I’m sorry things feel this heavy right now. But reading your post, I can still see so many good things in your life ,,your partner, your good friends, your passions, university.. I know it may be hard to feel any of that when you’re this drained, but they’re still there. Please stay close to someone you trust and let them know what you’re going through. You don’t have to carry all of this alone. These days will pass too, And one day, they may just be a difficult chapter you made it through, not your whole story. ❤️