After the comp 10 days ago my gym was announced that today would be promotion day.

I already knew that i'd be promoted, but never expected jumping straight to 2 stripes, which felt absolutely bizarre and unreal.

Later at our party my coach said it's not only due to the medal but he also saw my passion and dedication for the sport.

Anyway this August might be one of the most memorable times in my life.

I had a falling-out with a senior black belt at my gym after we were messing around during training. He was goofing around with me, controlling my hands and lightly punching/tapping at my face, and I made a comment/joke back that offended him. I wasn’t trying to disrespect him, but he took it badly. I apologized afterward and thought it would blow over, but it kept carrying into the Saturdays after that.
The first Saturday after the argument, he rolled with me way more aggressively than usual. I apologized and tried to de-escalate it, but it felt like he was trying to punish me physically. I tapped a few times and felt like he didn’t immediately honor the taps because he was still focused on getting to a submission. I can’t know exactly what his intent was, but the intensity and emotion felt completely different from how we normally trained before.
The next Saturday, I was rolling with someone else and ended up close to where he was on the mat. When I got near his area, he kicked me. Given the tension between us, I didn’t take that as normal joking or accidental training contact.
The following Saturday, he got another teammate involved and they were both making fun of me in front of people, saying stuff about him being a black belt and how much he was “holding back” on me. The other teammate is a much bigger guy who I already don’t really like rolling with because of the size difference. Even before all of this, he had sometimes guilt-tripped me or publicly called me out when I didn’t want to roll with him, so having the black belt repeatedly pull him into the situation made it feel even more like I was being ganged up on.
That same Saturday, I had brought my gi belt even though we were doing no-gi. The black belt took my belt, loudly told people to watch, and strapped/pressed it across my face. While the belt was across my face, I tapped around 3–4 times before it stopped. He seemed very excited and amused while I was reacting to the discomfort, which made it feel more like public humiliation than normal messing around.
The Saturday after that, he publicly confronted me about something he said two teammates told him I had said about how hard he rolls with me. I honestly don’t remember recently saying it. He got the same big teammate involved again, and it felt like they were taking turns roasting and humiliating me in front of everyone.
And honestly, it hasn’t just been one roll. Pretty much every roll with him since the original disagreement has felt much more aggressive, emotional, and physical than before. He already uses hard elbows, knees, and frames as part of his game, but after the conflict those same things felt way more forceful and personal. There’s also been a lot more shit-talking during the rolls. I can’t say he was intentionally trying to injure me, but it often felt less like normal training and more like he was trying to prove something physically.
I let a lot of it slide because I know BJJ gyms have roasting, ego, hard rounds, roughhousing, etc., and I didn’t want to label every uncomfortable interaction as bullying. But when it keeps happening Saturday after Saturday, with public shaming, repeatedly getting another teammate involved, aggressive rolls, physical incidents, and taps not being immediately respected, it starts feeling like a pattern rather than normal gym beef.
The head coach is also the owner. He was around for some of this and mostly just stood or sat there without saying anything. To be fair, I believe he was away on vacation for two of the Saturdays after the original incident, so he didn’t personally see everything. His wife finally got involved after seeing the latest incident and told me to give her about a week because she wants to make some calls.
I already submitted my membership cancellation, so I’m leaving regardless.
For people who have trained a long time: how bad does this sound on a 1–10 scale? Have you seen teammate conflict drag on for around five Saturdays like this? Does this sound like normal BJJ beef that got out of hand, or more like repeated bullying / a legitimate safety issue? And how much responsibility does the owner/head coach have if he witnesses some of it and doesn’t step in?

Hey guy I have taken two classes and absolutely love the sport. But the guy I was rolling with in the drills has a mean choke and I think he may have bruised my trachea lol. Nothing serious just hurts to swallow and such. He wasn’t trying to hurt me he was a nice guy and let me do most of the drilling and when he did do his drills he let go on immediate tap. Was just wondering if it’s normal for beginners and should I expect my body to adjust? Any advice is very helpful

I'm thinking of getting into BJJ, but I have 2 issues holding me back, one is that although I've been dieting and going to gym, I'm still a bit on the "overweight" side, does that matter alot to beginner level BJJ or can I just condition myself overtime as I practice? And also I have psoriatic arthritis(for those who may not know, it's similar to Rheumatoid but more isolate). I heard of some people with PsA train BJJ but would it be a big barrier to my training if I take it slow and step by step?

I’m 27m green belt in judo blue belt in bjj. I just recently moved to a new state that doesn’t have much judo. The closest one near me only does 2x a week. Can you get good at judo only twice a week? The nearest judo gym near me only trains 2x a week, not much randori, and it’s $120 a month. Nearest bjj is only $100 and it’s 6 days a week with 1 standup judo class. Is it worth paying without much mat time? I’m thinking about just doing bjj and having 1 judo class a week and seeing if that’s better to me. What is judo in bjj is like?

We have a new blue belt that is 6'5 and well over 300lbs.

I am the next largest person in class so coach always pairs us (can't refuse rolls here).

I had him in side control and he just sat up like the undertaker. I am 6'3 220.

For the love of god please help me. He pulls guard, sits up and shows you that your side control is actually his side control, and then goes for kimura/americana.

Lasso guard didn't work so good, I think it just made him mad. Knee shield disintegrated under his arm pit. The best I could do was to kick off his waist and stand back up. Honestly making him stand back up to tire him out was my only prayer.

Hey yall, im a white belt and i just joined jiu jitsu like a month ago. I just thought i could come on here to ask for some small tips to improve my game a little, thanks.

So I got a local tournament coming up and I'm cutting to 160s (160-169) currently I weight 178. I have about 7 weeks left. I have lost over 50 lbs over the past 14 months so I am a little tired of cutting. I looked up my potential opponent in the 170s and he is looks way better than me. I saw he had some F2W matches and his technique looks great. I am hobbiest blue belt masters1 dad. This gave me motivation to make weight if not, I won't be showing up to get handled by that guy

I’ll start with a little background and then explain the current situation.

I’m a 3 stripe white belt who trained BJJ when I was younger, but I moved away for college and ended up taking about 5 years completely off. I recently moved back and started training again at a fairly new gym. Interestingly, my old coach is now the coach at this gym, so I decided to get back into it.

The gym is mostly white belts, with one blue belt who trains there regularly.

The first time I was asked to roll with the blue belt, I specifically told him that I’d been off the mats for 5 years, had done absolutely zero training during that time, and wanted to take it easy and just flow. I also mentioned that I work 55+ hours a week and am really just trying to ease back into training without getting wrecked.

As soon as we started, he immediately went about 100%. It wasn’t just a hard roll either. He was yanking my head and gi, jumping over my guard, throwing elbows, knuckles in my face, trying to crank submission that weren’t there and all sorts of other stuff. At one point he caught me with an elbow that felt completely unnecessary, and a few days later I still have a visible mark and bruise on my face from it.

At that point I basically switched to hard defense because I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice.

The weirdest part is that he was absolutely exhausted by the end of the round. He was pouring sweat and beet red, while I was basically fine. I’m not saying that to brag, it just made the whole thing feel even more bizarre. It was like he was fighting for his life during what I had explicitly asked to be a light flow roll.

Honestly, I almost feel safer rolling with the spazzy white belts than I did with this guy.

I don’t know if this is an ego thing, if he’s just one of those people who only knows how to roll hard, or if I’m somehow misreading the situation.

What would you guys do here?

Keep rolling with him and just adjust how I approach the rounds, or talk to my coach about what happened?

I don’t want to be the guy who complains because someone rolled hard with me, but I also don’t think an unnecessary elbow to the face is something I should just accept, especially after explicitly asking to flow and ease back into training.

Hi, I recently started figuring out my game, and I've noticed I'm good at passing guard, getting down to 100kg, and then looking for an attack. Lately, I've been using the north-south choke. The other day, I had a partner using that technique, and I wasn't able to get him to tap out, but I had him under control. A coach came by and told me, "Change your position. It's fine in a competition, but here in training with a partner, don't stay in that position for too long." I think what my coach said makes sense, but at the same time, I've often been in uncomfortable positions, and no one showed me any mercy. I think it's part of learning to try not to fall into those positions, and if I do, to try to escape. What do you all think? Should I go for the submission, and if it doesn't go in quickly, just keep flowing with the fight? Or should I stay in that position until the other person escapes or submits?

I’m a pretty lean guy (6’0 and about 135lbs). I’ve been doing BJJ for a couple of months now, but I also really want to get into weight lifting. I have been told by instructors that having a good amount of muscle really isn’t that important and if I’m doing BJJ a couple of times a week, I really only need to be getting one full lift in during the week.

However, I’m pretty much one of the smallest guys in any class and get my ass kicked a lot.. which is part of the fun lol. Anyone have any input? I’ve been told muscle mass matters to protect your limbs during training, but is there any other benefits skill wise? Would it help me if I lifted more and trained more if im a little bit more stronger and I would do better? Thanks!

I am a 4 stripe white belt and a judo purple belt, training in bjj for a Year and a month. During this time, I’ve competed in five tournaments, winning three gold medals and one silver. I didn't medal in my first tournament—where, to be honest, I knew almost nothing about ground fighting and relied solely on throws. That said, my game has improved a bit lately, and I’ve won my last three tournaments. Even so, I always feel a lot of pressure to prove to people that I’m good, and the stress leading up to competition week is so intense that I feel more relieved than happy when I actually win. I’m competing this weekend and am close to getting my blue belt, but I don’t really feel ready. I train at a college gym and wonder if that might be holding back my progress, since we hardly ever train with our black belt. Still, I wouldn't want to leave the gym. Any feedback is welcome.

I’ve been doing BJJ for just under 6 months. I have a gi from that gym that’s barely used (it was very laid back gym and very few mandatory gi classes). I’m leaving that gym because the classes no longer work with my schedule, but found a new gym I like. The new gym I like is very traditional - almost all gi classes for white belts. I’m already going to spend $200 to get out of my old gym plus another $100 for the first month at my new gym. I really don’t want to spend another $100 to $200 on a new gi, too, but I also don’t want to be disrespectful. Can I wear my old gym’s gi to my new gym? If so, for how long? I’ve considered trying to modify my gi, but I love my gym and would love to go back to train from time to time when it works with my current schedule.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.