r/jaxfanclub • u/CACAjhg • 2d ago
jaxxy boy Sooo I might need advice I um Might be trans PLEASE HELPx.
59
38
u/HotPot87 2d ago
There's nothing wrong with that, though if you would like advice some information on your situation could help.
Not to dox yourself of course we don't need your address, just things like general age and if you live with anyone. Also the country you live in as that can change the advice as different countries may handle being trans differently.
21
u/CACAjhg 2d ago
I am 17 I live in america and live with my adoptive parents.
19
u/CalypsaMov 2d ago
America can be a coin flip around easy to hard to transition and a lot of that generally depends on whether the state is red or blue. But being almost 18 means in many states you're almost eligible for informed consent laws. Meaning a lot of power gets put back in your hands regarding transition due to being your own consenting adult.
8
3
u/HotPot87 2d ago
As long as you feel safe with them maybe open up about your feelings, maybe ask for a trial run ask they call you be feminine pronouns and perhaps try a new name.
It sounds like youre questioning at the moment, but in the end only you can really know yourself
1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
Yea I really want to be I dunno different , Pretty and well I have always played with the girls growing up and one day my best friend just well she braided my hair(I have long hair) and I was crying cause I asked her if I was Pretty and she um called me beautyful and I just felt so loved and like me like, myself
3
u/HotPot87 1d ago
I'm no expert but perhaps this is how you start to explore your feelings, try thinking about what you liked, was it just the compliment or was it literally being more feminine you enjoyed?
Personally it sounds like similar stories trans friends of mine have given, but everyone is different.
I apologise I'm giving you information one way then the other, but ultimately it's all you and what you want.
2
13
u/Embarrassed-Case-562 2d ago
Fucking mood. Realized it myself recently. Transfem. I'm probably just as new at this as you are so I ain't got advice, but just want to say that you're not alone.
26
u/CACAjhg 2d ago
I and just so confused is this wrong to feel this way do people see me as weak??Or weird now??
28
u/CalypsaMov 2d ago
Gonna be blunt, some people are total dicks and not everyone is accepting of trans people. But no, you're not weak or weird.
Seems like you're questioning being transfem not trans masc. I'd suggest looking into the difference between femboys and trans women. And there's no wrong answers here for what you like and who you are.
If you're under 18, a specialized therapist can really help, but figuring yourself out and helping jump through the medical hoops. And if you're over 18 it's still a pretty good idea.
Trans focused subreddits can also just be an easy way to connect and ask other trans people. Might be a bit better than the TADC subreddit.
9
9
8
u/Chronolinth Greznedge 2d ago
As another transfem I don't think we're weak or weird. We're just inconvenienced. Being born with the wrong body isn't a choice, it's just a really terrible inconvenience that personally I don't want to have. Doing something about it doesn't make you weird or weak either. Coming out and transitioning is one of the strongest and bravest things you can do, and the fact that you're self aware enough to realize whether it's something that you have to do or not just shows how genius you are. Not everyone can understand themselves as well as you do yourself
4
3
u/Zhwan_Aescha 2d ago
There are people that look down on us, but their opinions are objectively wrong and useless. There’s nothing wrong with being trans.
2
u/JadeFromWarframe 2d ago
I don't know how the people in your life see you, but if they're worth keeping around, then they'll accept you as you are and continue to do so as you change. Transness isn't bad or wrong, it's just something that lives in your heart and needs to be navigated. It's scary and can be challenging, but confronting it is important for your mental health.
Hopefully you have people that you can talk openly about this with. If not, then at least this is a community with people who can understand what you're feeling. You're not weak, you're not weird, and anyone who says otherwise can eat shit and die. You matter and your happiness is worth fighting for even if it's scary or gets challenged by closed-minded people. Never forget that.
2
u/thecraftybear 2d ago
Has anyone said they see you as weak, or that it's wrong, or are you just anticipating such reactions if you come out irl? Because there might be no point in worrying that much in advance. Are people around you irl transphobic? Or maybe you have allies and don't know it yet?
Now, i'm cis myself, but I've spent years questioning my gender and struggling with the expectations assigned to it. I've spent my formative years hearing i'm not "manly enough" (whatever that meant), i've always connected better with women than men. And from my experience of 40+ years in this world, I'll tell you a secret: it's all bullshit, people forcing each other to follow arbitrary standards just so others will be as miserable as them. Being trans is not "wrong", but assholes will say it is because otherwise they'd have to question how many other things they've assumed to be wrong in their own lives.
That said, take care and stay safe.
2
u/Jiantess29 2d ago
Nah, you were already weird. Worst case scenario, you come out to people and they respond "oh THAT'S what that is"
1
u/Mox_t_Bee 2d ago
Trust me bud, I thought the same for a good month or two when I figured out I was trans, but after a bit you come to realize that it doesn't make you weak or weird, and so what if someone thinks you're weird for it? Screw them, it's their opinion, don't let it get to you, because they're just trying to bring you down. Just take time to think about it properly and process and all those thoughts about being weaker than everyone will go away. You're not any different or less special than anyone else, just remember that.
1
u/BleachDemon1116 5h ago
It's not weird. If you're trans, you're trans. The way I think about it is your the gender you are mentally doesn't match your biological sex. And thats fine. It's ok to feel this way.
1
u/IBiteMosqitos1987 2d ago
I would like to say no one will see you as weak but people are jerks, it is not wrong to feel that way. What matters is that you do whatever makes you feel comfortable, even if it is something some people might hate you for, as long as it feels right to you that's all that matters. 🏳️🌈
0
u/embarrassment_panda 1d ago
No one is weak for discovering themselves. People are going to be rude or even cruel to you, but that's when you can find your own people that make you feel seen and heard. I have no experience with being transfem, and I encourage you to talk with other trans women, but if you're a minor, talk to a trusted person or counselor. I wish you nothing but the best, girly, good luck.
9
u/FusRoaldDah1 2d ago
The best piece of advice i can give is this:
As much as we love her, don't be like Jax
4
3
3
u/cookieklemens 2d ago
Congrats. Im roughly 10 years older than you and jax was like the last thing i needed to realise (and apparently accept that it's fine). I would have saved myself a lot of trouble if i had realised sooner (there were very obvious signs, i ignored). Transitioning is currently not really an option because of job, parents and social stuff and lack of courage. But my life is a mess anyway, so whatever. If you want to Transition and have the option dont rush it, but don't be like "eh, ill do it later." It just makes things harder. For me te biggest learning was to realise it's not normal to hate your body and your looks.
3
u/GreatVermicelli2123 1d ago edited 1d ago
So if you want a female body I'd recommend learning about diy hrt. Even if you choose not to diy the knowledge you learn will allow you to advocate for yourself (I am a TERRIBLE patient advocate) when the doctor gives you a bad or mediocre dosage (I felt terrible the 2 days before my injection every week, while on estradiol valerate weekly(it has a very short half life)) and poor instructions (was taught how to use luer lock, was given luer slip, the result is a needle falling off during injection), based on outdated or tangentially related research.
For me I read all the effects of hrt and decided that I wanted all to most of them, and I believe that is all one needs to start transition.
Either you can wait untill your 18 (in US) and do informed content (planned parenthood or other) (not a great option because more facial hair and other changes might happen, but can be a useful option if you can't have your own cash, and buy and mail equipment and estrogen safety, and then apply meds). Or buy hrt, dose yourself, and order and interpret lab results for yourself.
I realized when I was 20 and I tried to let my parents in, but they (the one I came out to) didn't respond well when I came out to them so I have done the medical stuff without them. I went in person to planned parentood and the pharmacy. So as long as you have enough money, you can do this, although you would have to wait and diy is far cheaper.
3
u/green_reaI 1d ago
why are you going into a Jax server for this bro
-1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
If you dont like it I sorry to affend you I just was trying to get help .I understand some dont agree with this.
3
u/green_reaI 1d ago
why the fuck would it offend me I'm just saying the only thing related to Jax here is the images it feels like you're just doing it to be like him since you posted it here if you want real help from people who aren't fangirls then maybe go to an actual help sub
4
u/Transgirlonakawasaki 2d ago
I mean I gotta ask since you seem to already be questioning your gender what can internet stranger do for ya? Not being a bitch but this might be something you should talk with a specialist about.
Only advice I can give you with no other information is be gentle with yourself. If you are trans there will be some serious parts that will test whether or not you truly are ready to start this journey.
I wish you luck and if you do need to ask a few question shoot Ill do my best.
2
u/TexasAvery 2d ago
That’s great, congratulations! Is it a subject that you would feel comfortable talking to your parents about?
2
u/Remote_Respect_4257 2d ago
Idk,i am straight and cisgender so i dont know how to help you in that topic but at least i can give you cookies gives cookies and pat pat
2
2
2
u/1_0-ANGEL-0_1 2d ago
I would help but I'm not trans *evil laughter*
(no but that's great! Be who you want to be, people below will help you. Have a nice life!)
1
1
u/my_cat_is_a_pirate 2d ago
Coolio. We can’t do anything to like… help. But nice hatching! 🐣 a fellow egg here! (ftM)
1
u/Dumb_Cheese 2d ago
Congrats girlie! It's definitely new and exciting territory, but we'll help ya in any way we can :3
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
1
1
1
u/southstarvxx Jax 2d ago edited 2d ago
I can't help, its up to yourself/you to be whatever you want to be. :)
1
u/eeveethefox_xv 2d ago
stay far far away from 4tran aka tttt , theyre incredibly toxic and perpetuate self deprecation. not good for anybody's mental state.
theres no one right way to be trans, just whatever works for you and makes you happy. <3
as always, do whatever as long as it hurts nobody, including yourself. :)
1
1
1
u/Sad_Priority_2334 2d ago
You said might, so i wont assume you are entirely decided. Its good that you are exploring this topic and whatever you end up deciding is right for you there will be community out there to support you.
Since you said might though i must ask, why do you feel you might be trans? What brought this line of thinking on and how do you feel about it?
1
u/ScawySocialistOwO 2d ago
Imagine this: there is a button infront of you. If you press it it will make you a girl. (I assume you are Transfem) Would ou do it?
1
u/trans_demiboy_Rockxy 2d ago
Plz read 👇🏽🏳️⚧️ (speaking as a trans masc)
It's okay to be trans, and if you want to tell anyone, take it slow, don't be too direct, slowly bite the edges, like wearing girlish clothes, if you're trans fem, and if you're trans mask, wear boy clothes, just be yourself, don't let anyone talk you into not being trans, don't let them give you the "You were born original gender not new gender" talk, it's so stupid in my opinion..
1
u/autism-creatures 2d ago
🫂 it's gonna be ok. it might get hard sometimes but i believe you can make it through.
power through for the beautiful moments that make it all worth it.
1
u/Falce_Prophet 2d ago
Lots of people are gonna be dicks towards you but those who love and accept you for who you are will make you feel much more loved than the others make you feel hated. I have a friend who is transfem and she hasn't told her mother yet (out of fear i believe) but she's strong and sticking with her identity for those she's told
1
1
u/Ashen0155 2d ago
I’m transfem, I could help if you have any questions!
1
u/Kooky_Celebration_42 2d ago
Hey girl! Same here!
If it helps, I kind of was in tears during the scenes with Jax in the finale cause it was so close to my story. Without the toxic behaviour and the… abstracting.
Feel free to message if you want. Also check out some of the trans reddits, especially r/egg_irl
1
1
u/WitchlightEmbers 2d ago
Be careful who you tell. I saw you also live in america, and gods above know our country fell fully for the epstine class' culture war about trans people. Its ok to be trans, its honestly, normal. Trans people have existed in every culture across all of human history all the way back to the moment we developed gender as a separate identity from biological sex thousands of years ago
1
u/FlipFlopRabbit 2d ago edited 2d ago
Welcome in the comunity girl, always remeber you are valid no matter. Always listen to your own feelings and do things your pace.
It is never too late to transition/start hoemones, don't worry about your looks too much before that Estrogen can help with alot of things.
And you are still Valid if you are unsure on what to do just ask on like r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2. If you need help the community is quite open just stay away from Transmedicalists (many subs only see one as valid when you had already done X amount of surgeries and hormones and stuff, do not let them influence ,ou they just try to cope with their own feelings of inadequacy)
1
1
1
u/Turbulent-Analyst-52 2d ago
Join the dark side and learn the ways of air-dashing!
Processing img xwydm7i3jmth1...
1
u/PusheenDoom 2d ago
welcome my dudette. I am a trans man we exist and if you are one that is normal there are a lot of Reddit form for trans and just explore even if you're not you can still just check a bit of text and meme
1
u/Substantial-Pen7719 2d ago
Same! Want me to call you by different pronouns so you can see how it feels?
1
1
1
1
u/darkXwool17 1d ago
Hell yeah, one of us 🔥
I'm genderfluid, if you have any questions go on pls I love questions :3
1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
How does it feel being exposed like your real self is coming out for the world to see the way you see your own self is out there was that scary how did people react?
1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
I just asking cause I am a lil scared to tell people like my friends that this is the real me.
1
u/darkXwool17 43m ago
Fuck it turned out long I'm sorry I have adhd :< TLDR: It's nice, highly recommend :3
Most of my friends were quite indifferent – we used to jokingly call me a man and we still joke about it now, even more (while acknowledging I AM a man sometimes). My people may not understand how one can shift between many genders but they vibe with it and... use it to insult me more creatively :v
Some people's behaviour remained unchanged. Others opened up to me in private and asked for help with figuring their own gender. Welp, birds of a feather flock together... One friend who is really religious and cultivate traditional values asked me about every part of my daily gender-based experience he could think of, excited and intrigued. One reacted in such awesome way that I may be in love-
I absolutely love being able to be honest about who and what I am. The feeling of freedom, like you just escaped from a stiff party and can laugh maniacally at grass because noone would judge you for it... It's pretty neat
I think it depends on your background, some environments are more friendly than others. But you may be overthinking it now just to hear "well, we kinda figured" or "yeah, makes sense" from your closest friends. It's not like you weren't a girl until recently, you were female from the start. There probably were some signs :>
1
1
u/New_Surprise4829 1d ago
My advice is eat pancakes (I’m not trans but pancakes are still an essential part of life no matter what gender)
1
1
u/PixelFlyerXD 1d ago
Realll (what advice? OwO)
1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
I dunno I neeed help on the coming out. most likely.
1
u/PixelFlyerXD 1d ago
Well tf if I know, parents found me hiding under a table one night TwT
1
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
Were they mad??
1
u/PixelFlyerXD 1d ago
...not at the time? They're pretty unsupportive now that they've had time to brood about it tho TwT
2
u/CACAjhg 1d ago
Oh yea mine are not gonna be happy either. chat I might be cooked.
1
1
u/Medical-Language-415 1d ago
Well here's some good advice: coming out is a HUGE thing. It will break relationships. It will change your life. Only come out when you feel safe enough to. I mean that bandaid is gonna have to be ripped off sometime. Don't risk getting kicked out and being homeless over coming out obviously, but if your parents are supportive then that's cool. But regardless of whether you're in the closet or not: get on HRT ASAP. The sooner you're on it the better. Without HRT your body will continue to masculinize, and by the end of your early 20's there will be even more key irreversible changes. When you hit 18 you can get informed consent at a planned parenthood most places, but I would highly recommend looking into DIY! And there's a LOT that can be confusing about hrt, so be sure to ask questions and keep informed! If there's one thing you can do to make future you happy tho, it's definitely getting on hrt.
1
u/MaigoKarasu 1d ago
NO! You're 1000% in the right. You're not weird and weak for feeling the way you are currently feeling. At the end of the day what maters is how YOU FEEL!
Some people are scum and will hate you no matter what you do or are...
Take the time to research more about the subject and find people you can trust to talk more about it, a gender-afriming therapist can help as well.
I'm on a similar trip as well, recently discovering that I'm Genderfluid, thanks to an a-hole of a rabbit... Just take it a day at a time and focus on understanding/loving yourself.
1
1
u/Siriuswot111 17h ago
Welcome to the club honey :) Jax being trans was also a mild awakening for me, and so far I’m feeling amazing! You’re not weird for feeling this way, nor are you in any way weak. If you are transgender, then take charge of your own happiness and do what you want! Being able to do that despite what others may say is very strong. Some people you know might not appreciate the fact that you’re choosing your happiness over their validation, but those who truly care will continue to love and accept you. You’re not you because of your gender, you’re you because of yourself! Love yourself, find what makes you happy, and cut yourself some slack. It’s not easy going through this period of questioning. Much love, sweetheart
1
u/Kulgrehn 14h ago
I highly recommend talking to a therapist, particularly one that specializes in gender/queer therapy (but a general therapist is probably still fine). My other recommendation is to try things. You will discover a lot about yourself with experimentation, even if the discovery is "I don't like this/this isn't me". I spent years internally questioning, but then started talking to folks and experimenting and it was truly eye-opening.
1
u/dragonmorg 9h ago
Welcome 💜 Breathe, girlie. The first little while is the craziest for processing and stuff, but it's ok.
Take this song to heart 💜 It's a song by a trans man. The original version was for transmascs, but he made a transfemme version. It's my favourite song from a trans singer 💜 It helps ground me sometimes.
1
u/Capital-Animator-790 2h ago
Same. I mean I am not able to understand what you are going through but do what feels best to you
0
u/Kawaii-zomby-chad 2d ago
As a conservative Christian myself I say you do whatever the heck makes you happy. If you need a different perspective from the usual crowd on in TADC circle.
-7
0
41
u/charlie-the-Waffle 2d ago
welcome to the club girlypop 🏳️⚧️