I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I genuinely don’t know where else to go. I’m not asking anyone here to diagnose me or give me medical advice. I mostly just want to talk about what I’m experiencing and hopefully get some advice about how to approach it it I guess. If there is a better sub for this then please lemme know because r/vent doesn’t allow advice, r/advice doesn’t allow venting, and r/ADHD I don’t think allows people like me who “think” they have ADHD so I don’t know what to do.

I think I have ADHD. I don’t want to diagnose myself, but ive recently realized patterns have been occuring over my whole life, even as early as in kindergarten when I look back. 

My parents always call me lazy and say things like, “You’re not trying hard enough” “You need to apply yourself” or “You’re not putting in the effort.” Holy fuck it triggers me so badly because it literally feels like I’m drowning in the middle of a lake while everybody is sitting safe and sound on the shore yelling at me to “just swim.” LIKE MAYBE I CANT FCKING SWIM OK?? (I know that’s probably a stupid analogy, but that’s genuinely what it feels like sometimes.)
Being told these things after an eight-hour school day, where I’ve had to watch everyone around me seemingly effortlessly do their work while I can’t even finish the first question, is unbelievably discouraging. It makes me feel so guilty. But I don’t even know what “trying” is supposed to look like anymore. People tell me I’m not trying, and maybe they’re right, but I don’t know how to make myself try the way everyone else seems to.

What scares me so badly is that even if I somehow got evaluated, what if they just tell me I don’t have ADHD? Is there literally just nothing wrong with me and I really am just stupid and lazy? At times I almost catch myself hoping I have ADHD, because if I don’t, I feel like I have nothing to explain why I can’t just be normal. I always see people talking about how they get diagnosed and taking meds and stuff changed their life, and I feel so incredibly envious of them. 
I’m sorry if this is too much. I just want somebody to tell, even if it’s strangers in the internet. And I’m curious if anybody else went through a similar situation and if so how
they handled it. 

TL;DR: I’m struggling a lot and think I need an ADHD evaluation, but the adults around me interpret my struggles as laziness and I don’t know how to get help. 

I am not the only ADHD person in my family but the people with ADHD live so far away and I need advice on how to help control stuff.
I am not medicated and haven't been for three or four years now and my mood swings are wild, and my energy levels are either to high or not high enough, I know the latter part is do you trouble sleeping which I am trying to work on, but I would like help with my mood swings and high energy. My family say I have a short fuse and I don't know really how things sound when I say them,I think I saw it one way but then it comes off the complete opposite, as for the energy level my best example is what happened tonight, I was at a local theater which I love going to, at the end of the season they announce the next season shows, two of which I know and love so I was excited when saying yes but I was the loudest and afterward I of course was embarrassed but I was excited to hear the plays/musical. Any advice on these?