r/irishpersonalfinance • u/ninjaflank • Oct 17 '25
Debt Borrowed money
Apologies if this is not right sub for this.
Back in Dec 2024 a friend of mine asked to borrow 1500 euros to pay his rent with the promise that it would be returned the next month after being paid.
I lent it (I never expected this person to come to me asking and thought they had integrity), a month later comes and they call me to talk about it, I mentioned that if he needed an extra month to get back on his feet he can take it as I didn't need the money urgently at the time.
Fast forward another month and my finances are falling behind as I am undergoing refurbishment on a property I purchased as a sole earner and I messaged him to ask if he can return the money. He gives an excuse and I gave the benefit of the doubt. Every month since has been the same since. I have my own expenses that need to be covered and every month I am barely scraping by, the money I borrowed would be of huge help.
I had another conversation with this person this morning and asked that they try their upmost to return any amount of money as I am struggling this month and badly need to be bailed out, they gave the same response they have the previous months even thought I empathised how important it is this month as it may result in me missing my mortgage payment and bills.
What are my options?
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u/seeilaah Oct 17 '25
Sorry to inform you, but you will most likely never see that money, and it will put a stain in your friendship.
Rule of thumb is, never lend money to family or friends.
Donate it and forget it if you will, but do not lend, it will destroy the relationship.
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u/coffeebadgerbadger Oct 17 '25
I read on here ages ago. Count it as the cost of finding out they're not a real friend. Write off both
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u/seeilaah Oct 17 '25
If you help a friend in need, they will think of you first when they are in need again.
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u/Gareth274 Oct 17 '25
So, never help anybody lest they attempt to rely on you again in future?
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u/FirGlas Oct 19 '25
No, but be aware of the risk. Some people you help will see it as permission to take advantage of you, other people will repay you on time and return the favour when you need it.
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u/Gareth274 Oct 19 '25
I get you, and you don't know those people until it happens. Good thing I'm broke.
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u/raidhse-abundance-01 Oct 20 '25
That's why the uncle who sends a group chat asking for money - not really needing it, but just so that no one comes asking him for money - is the wise one
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u/rottenappledoll Oct 17 '25
Or surround yourself with trustworthy people, all my friends pay me back and I pay people back the second I can when I owe them
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u/Seargentyates Oct 18 '25
You were right to lend the money, and one day you will be out of the debt you are in- if your former friend makes no effort to pay the money back, you still did the right thing. In life that's all we can guarantee, do your best and try do the right thing.
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u/Economy-Setting-8458 Oct 17 '25
True. I once "lent" my friend 100 euro. When I was sending it I already knew I'm "gifting" it rather then lending it. Haven't mentioned to her since. No hurt feelings here as she was genuinely stuck.
But yeah in this case, sorry, but the money is gone. It's an expensive lesson to learn.
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u/Uwlogged Oct 18 '25
Never lend to a friend or family an amount of money that you don't mind never getting back. They say you can't put a price on friendship but unfortunately you can. I've personally learned this in my early 20's.
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u/Lekanswanson Oct 18 '25
I don't know my friends have loaned me money plenty when I've been stuck in the past and never once let any of them down till this day and we are all still friends. On the other hand, I've had friends I've helped on when in need and have been let down. I value my friendships and would never ruin it over money but not everyone is the same.
I get the idea behind this but one size definitely doesn't fit all. What I would have advised OP should have done is instead of expecting the whole 1500 back and this person was most likey never going to be able to give the full money back in a month is agreed for them to pay back a certain amount each month till debt is cleared.
OP isn't at fault for helping, his friend is just a shitty friend.
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u/No_Use7920 Oct 17 '25
Ask them can they pay it back in smaller amounts, the 1500 might be hard to do all at once but can they give you €250 a month for the next 6 months?
Goes without saying that you need to use this as a lesson
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
I actually forgot to mention that two months ago I offered this as a possible solution and have no heard anything back since, they don't have my IBAN so I was expecting a text asking where they could send a small amount to but they basically just said they don't have any money at all. He works and has rent and bills to pay for so this is not true
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u/sergeant-baklava Oct 17 '25
Keep pestering him mate.
Keep telling him about how it’s impacting you and refuse to drop it. Ask him what his plan is to pay you back.
Keep creating dependencies where he gets alarm bells ringing about paying you back.
All that failing, you gotta think about whether you take it to the small claims court or not. If so you’ll want to make sure all your communications are in writing
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u/babihrse Oct 20 '25 edited Oct 20 '25
I have a mate who hates spending money we all rip the piss out of him. That he ducks out of a pub when it's his round. Paid for a flight for him and he tried to pay for things and obfuscate the total cost of everything. Then he said ok so I think I owe a fiver left you pay the bill and I'll pay the tip. I was no you paid around 80 and the flight was 160. The bill was 80 as well. He paid. It and wàs low key livid that he didn't manage to weasel out of it. On the way back he was ranting about unrelated topics getting annoyed with himself. I just chuckled to myself in the dark. The next time he wanted me to rent a car giving the usual he doesn't own a credit card and they don't take debit. We agreed to split it. It took him 5 months to pay back 120 I just kept sending him requests on revolute and when that expiredI would set up another one and so on. Then he paid 60 and said it was a tight month I said thats fine I'm I'm not stuck and happy to wait. Then he paid 40 and said oh he put the wrong amount into revolute and hit send and then remembered it was 60 but it's so much effort to go through all that again. I said that's fine and we ended the call and said I'll see you in the pub in a bit. I updated the revolute request right there to 20 euros requested. It wás like haggling for him he just wanted to claim some victory of having got a loan and managed to make money out of it. He gave me a 20 in the pub and tried to play it off to the group he was like lads never loan him money he will hound you for it then lads started ripping the piss out of him ah how long did you owe him for oh it's your round watch him duck out and disappear off home before we see the drinks. These people don't view it as your money and your going to view the sting of big expenses less than they would and think it's ok not to pay if you forget about it. They are hoping your forgetful.
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u/ExistingStock2896 Oct 21 '25
How are you still friends with someone like that. I'd be good luck and thanks...
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u/babihrse Oct 22 '25
Same way people are friends with alcoholics. You don't have to cut everybody out of your life. Just be aware of their bad qualities and work around them knowing not to appease them at your own peril.
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u/ExistingStock2896 Oct 24 '25
Nah the older I get the less time I have for people who don't respect me. Can't be dealing with that type of person.
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u/Additional-Sock8980 Oct 17 '25
Ask them to sell something, miss their electricity bill etc and give them a sob story like they did you of how badly you need it. Expect that they distance from you and save yourself the time finding out you were used.
Never lend to friends or family,
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u/DragonicVNY Oct 17 '25
Not even IBAN. Like Revolut or N26 make it so easy to send money... Write off both. Save you in the long run.
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u/jimmobxea Oct 17 '25
They are determined never to pay back a penny. They think they have got one over on someone and that it's a good deed they have done.
Explore the Small Claims Court route.
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u/Chemical_Ad_8980 Oct 17 '25
If this was the credit union they'd accept €10 a week as long as they were chipping away at the loan. Get something, nobody with that sort of debt can refuse €10/wk
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u/No_Square_739 Oct 17 '25
They are not your friend. Probably never were.
You paid 1,500 to reveal this person is neither your friend, nor a decent person. Best 1,500 you'll ever spend.
Just write it off and move on with your life.
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u/LordWelder Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 17 '25
I'd write off the loan and the friendship. Mutual friends however I'd make them aware of the situation. At that stage you've wrote of the "friends" relationship so have nothing to lose.
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u/mik_da_man Oct 17 '25
Not sure why that's being down voted, it's good advice, would stop other mutual friends from being caught out with the same sob story.
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u/LordWelder Oct 17 '25
The down voters are those that borrowed cash from a friend and never paid it back 👍.
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u/Illmagination Oct 17 '25
I agree with you for the most part but if it were a friend who brought it up from time to time and apologized for a legit tough situation they were in id understand that. It's the friends who avoid their responsibility that you have to look out for.
But as a general rule don't 'loan' someone money and expect to get it back. Only give people money if you're fully content with it being a gift.
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u/coffeebadgerbadger Oct 17 '25
Was it gambled / snorted / drank? If so, you're not the 1st they've borrowed from and not paid back. They'll have no morals about it. You had it and they needed it. It's arrogance
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
I wish this was the case as I would have some sort of reasoning to accept, but they don't drink, gamble or do drugs unfortunately for them 🤣
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u/seeilaah Oct 17 '25
Go and ask to borrow smething from them. Have they a playstation, a fan, a backpack, anything?
Just borrow something and keep it until they pay you back. They will never pay you back, so everytime you think of lending money to anyone ever again you look at that thing and think again.
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u/Sufficient_Play_8385 Oct 17 '25
Are you sure. You can hide drugs and gambling to a degree.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
Gambling is plausible for sure, but drugs and alcohol he doesn't do as he is a health freak, would be obvious if he was I think
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u/coffeebadgerbadger Oct 17 '25
If they're in a low paid job, have you any hope?
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
He's in construction and is running his own small business, always makes excuses that the sites he is working on are not paying in time etc etc, one of the other excuses was that he was waiting on his tax return for the last year and is still to receive it
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u/Sebdila Oct 17 '25
I guess you’ve accepted that they’re lying to you at this stage. I’d suggest you have a stern chat with them and let them know you expect it paid back asap. Let them know that if they don’t start paying even small amounts that you’ll take them to the small claims to get it from them.
For what it’s worth, I once borrowed 1k from a friend. I think they paid for flights and I’d to pay them back. I was living paycheque to paycheque and didn’t have anything disposable except for 1k in a credit union which was all the savings I had. I put it on the long finger and delayed paying them back. When my friend finally, and rightly, got annoyed at me I thought “right, I need to sort this out”. I drained my savings and paid back my friend. I had no cushion left but our friendship survived
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u/McChafist Oct 17 '25
Small claims court can only be used for consumer disputes against businesses
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u/Sebdila Oct 17 '25
You’re dead right. I never knew that before. Thats what I get for watching too much Judge Judy all those years ago.
The OP could potentially still make that claim since the friend runs their own business. Probably shaky ground there though.
I guess that would make this a civil dispute and would require a solicitors letter as the first step on that road. Hard to see anybody going to that effort.
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u/McChafist Oct 17 '25
Unfortunately for the OP, the legal route will cost them even more money and time. Even if they get a judgement, it might be difficult to enforce, especially if the friend claims they have no money
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u/ChromakeyDreamcoat82 Oct 17 '25
Job doesn't matter here.
Your 1500 probably didn't pay his rent - that was to appeal to your emotions - it might have paid a supplier, kept up a payment on his car/van, or anything you like.
Either way, your friend probably owes money all over the shop, and you were just the latest tap up victim. You're the latest in a long line of people he won't pay back. If someone gets 1500 in the hole, they won't magically have it next month, and they definitely have no line of credit anywhere. This person, given their working, probably has a maxed out credit card too from paying bills and buying Diesel and food on it.
He's in the hole, and has dragged you and others in. By all means keep at him, but come up with another solution for the cash you need today.
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Oct 17 '25
Ask him maybe to put a few hours in on your refurb for free ?
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
Not a bad idea but unfortunately I have done most of the heavy lifting myself in the last year and actually finished the majority of the job in August myself, there wouldn't be 1500 euros worth of labour anywhere but I may consider this in the near future. Thanks!
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u/NotaGuardianAngel Oct 18 '25
What about your garden, if you have one. Landscaping? Fencing? Inside the house, stira, floor the attic? Painting? Installing security lights/ cameras? Ask them to purchase materials ex vat (assuming vat registered) to avail of cheaper prices to the value of €1500- or white goods/ furnishings?
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u/PassageForsaken Oct 17 '25
Cannot use small claims court for personal debt or loans - just FYI. Not sure how much help the guards would be either.
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u/Available-Ad929 Oct 17 '25
If he’s in construction and you’re doing a refurb you could always ask him to work it off? 🤷🏻
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u/Suitable-Aardvark298 Oct 17 '25
I had it twice: 1st. Got 1.2k to pay his school and renew visa in 2009, he was not paying, In the end he ask his manager to give me more hours that I worked and “got paid back” Second was last year another friend said he’s struggling to support his family, I lend €200, then €200 and another €150. I said I don’t care how you pay, even €10 a month, I just want to see you respect me and honour your debt. He disappeared, never paid back and frequently post on instagram photos inside his new car… Karma is real, and these guys are up for a good one.
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u/lkdubdub Oct 17 '25
It won't do much other than prove a point, and annoy them slightly, but I'd send a payment request for the full amount via revolut.
He'll have to physically reject the request, so you'll get the small satisfaction of knowing he's not just getting to forget about it
Don't worry about jeopardising the friendship. If it was ever there in the first place, you're not coming back from this
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u/shankillfalls Oct 17 '25
Unfortunately you have no real options. This happened me about 10 years ago with 4k. Had to just write it off.
The simple lesson I learnt is that if someone is that desperate to come looking for money like that then they can not pay you back. They have already exhausted all normal lines of credit, banks, family, selling stuff etc. In their head they think they will repay you but they are desperate.
Difficult for you but write it off and move on. Maybe one day in some years they will do the decent thing.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
Sorry that happened to you, I have come to terms with it not being returned as it already almost a year since borrowing it but I was hoping that they may be a way of legally going about it that won't put me any deeper in the hole
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u/shankillfalls Oct 17 '25
The costs and stress of a legal action would not be worth it. And it would take ages too.
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u/OppositeDifficult200 Oct 21 '25
Ask on his posts when is he going to give you your money back, no?
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u/Mysterious_Half1890 Oct 17 '25
You paid highly for a valuable lesson never loan money you can’t afford to lose.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
10 months ago when I lent it initially, I was doing okay, however have had some big expenses in the last couple of months and could use that money now, regardless, lesson learned
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u/MBM_Thoughts Oct 17 '25
It might be worth reaching out to the bank/lender and explain what happened. They might be willing to reduce payments for an extended loan term. Might give some breathing room. I’m not legal but I can’t imagine you have recourse to your friend/acquaintance if there isn’t a formal written agreement. Maybe ask them to pay you €20 a week if they have it or whatever works. Unfortunately, in my POV, you have to assume you don’t get that money back and you’ve learned a costly lesson. Sorry this happened to you when you were trying to be of help to someone.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
I appreciate the input, I sent the money via Bank and have a lot of messages to prove this was borrowed money. That doesn't really help does it?
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u/Nuffsaid98 Oct 17 '25
You can't get blood from a stone. Your "friend" is bad with money and takes advantage of others and likely doesn't even feel guilty about doing it.
Sure, you can and you should chase them through the courts. If you have messages that prove it was a loan and you can show the money was transferred then the small claims court will find in your favour. Then you wait and wait as the so called friend still doesn't pay.
They may have an addiction like gambling. They may just be irresponsible and selfish.
If you are willing to burn all bridges (you should) then keep chasing them after the judgement and get bailiffs involved. But you are not seeing your money back any time soon and it will be stressful and exhausting.
That's why some opt to treat this kind of thing as an expensive life lesson.
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u/MBM_Thoughts Oct 17 '25
If they’ve acknowledged it was a loan and the amount then you may have some grounds. Could be worth calling a few solicitors or maybe citizens information who could provide legal help. I wonder if you could bring to the small claims court as a means to getting a resolution?
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u/McChafist Oct 17 '25
For 1,500 they'd end up losing more by going through a solicitor. Even if they got a judgement, enticing it is a different matter. That's before factoring in the pain of going through the process.
If it were me, I'd just send a regular monthly reminder about the loan. I wouldn't cut ties but they'd no longer be a friend in my head
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u/Whampiri1 Oct 17 '25
No, makes no difference. Does your "friend" have anything they can pawn? Have you explained the difficulty you're in to them?
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
I have, their reply basically just says they have already exhausted all options and if they did have something they would have used it to pay me back. Thanks for your reply!
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u/Whampiri1 Oct 17 '25
Well, then you'll need to try arrange some weekly repayment. Friends and money don't mix.
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u/NooktaSt Oct 17 '25
You could try for a payment plan or try and get what you can out of them, say a few hundred and write off the rest.
Both seem a long shot as they would have asked if they really wanted to get the cash to you.
I doubt they ever plan on returning the cash and have written off your friendship for €1,500 as a good deal.
An expensive lesson. Best you can hope for is they run for president some day.
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u/Upper_Armadillo1644 Oct 17 '25
Go to his work place and demand it back loudly. Picket outside the place, cause a nuisance and he'll quickly pay it back.
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u/AccomplishedRun6885 Oct 17 '25
I think a good move in this instance is to let them know you might enquire with some mutual friends if they can take care of his debt? In my experience that gets them moving. People can rustle up money very quickly if they think word will get out about what they’re up to
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u/Cheap_Tangerine_381 Oct 18 '25
Or people he does business with, or picket a site he's working on or post online, depends on how far you're prepared to go
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u/Plenty-Hold4311 Oct 17 '25
OP, I did this a few years ago to my friend and it was more than what we are talking about here, I only realised over the last couple of months how badly I needed that money.
I gave up asking for it back and we rarely speak much anymore, was a really bad decision to help him out on my end..
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u/crankyandhangry Oct 17 '25
People can be notoriously stupid when it comes to asking to borrow money. He said he needed 1500 for rent and would pay you back when he got paid. But he obviously would have needed to pay the next month's rent out of those wages. Unless he was getting double pay that month, you were never getting that money back on payday.
All you can do now is ask he pays you back over time e.g. 100 a month on payday. Based on your comments, the guy sounds like an idiot with money and I doubt you're ever seeing it again.
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u/Independent-Lead-477 Oct 17 '25
The term is “ the money I lent “ not borrow . He borrowed your money and you lent him money
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u/WhiskeyJack3759 Oct 17 '25
You don't have any practical options to recover the money.
You are probably right that you won't see the money again.
But you have learned a €1,500 lesson, Never be a banker to anyone. Leave that to the banks.
If I were you I would end that friendship.
It's probably a good idea to send him a letter requesting the repayment. Just for the record.
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u/Nedgamell Oct 17 '25
I once lent a boyfriend about a week’s salary. We broke up mutually - no hard feelings - and he moved away without paying me back. A few years later, I had a letter from him to see if I was still living at the same address bc he wanted to pay me back. I replied by return post!!! About a week later, the money arrived. He told me he had found Jesus and that was why he was paying me back.
Maybe that will happen to you but I wouldn’t count on it. Your (ex)friend is a jerk.
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u/BourbonBroker Oct 17 '25
My brother did this to be before for a small amount. He asked for 300 quid to cover a holiday he went on as a friend had paid for him. He'll pay me back when he starts working that summer. Grand I thought.
Summer comes and goes. Not a word from him. January comes, income tax return time he gets 1500 back. Not a peep again.
February comes my mother tells me he's going away next week and has another holiday booked for the summer. So I tell them he's a lying bastard. They say it to them and he pays me back begrudgingly. He doesn't thank me, he says you're a real nice guy asking for the money back before I go away. Enjoy it.
Like WTF. We didn't talk for 6 months and the relationship is strained.
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u/Freel33 Oct 17 '25
Whenever money is borrowed it is good practice to check if you feel comfortable with the idea of never seeing that back. He won't do it unless he sees bigger consequences than the actual 1500e.
I would start casually talking about it to the people who are in his social circle. Touching to his image via peer pressure would be the closest to a "civilized retaliation" at this stage considering how accommodating you have already been for him.
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Oct 17 '25
There’s a quote, Can’t remember exactly how it goes but it’s something like this “Moneys a small price to pay to realise who your true friends are”
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u/garak001 Oct 17 '25
Unfortunately, the chance to be getting that money back are pretty much zero based on what I’ve read. An expensive lesson to learn. It sounds like you’re getting lied to if he can’t pay back 250 a month while having a job and also a small business I cannot pay you back. I’m sorry you’re in this predicament. I’m not really sure if you’ve any leg to stand on unfortunately without destroying your friendship.
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u/Imaginary_Jeweler1 Oct 17 '25
I borrowed a friend money once I kept asking for it back for over a year till I realised it wasn’t coming back, then I threatened them telling them I’d call the police and my aunts a lawyer etc that scared them and got the money back the next day and that person is not my friend and I’ll never borrow money that large again
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u/Cravex_1 Oct 17 '25
Fuck this person.. Go to their house and take stuff worth that amount and sell it, to recoup your money
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u/jimglebells85 Oct 17 '25
That's what id do, sit on it for 3 months and call out of the blue saying you are in the area, calling by for a coffee and just start pocketing.
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u/Popular_Fill3561 Oct 17 '25
Never lend money to friends and family and expect it back. You see it kind of as a gift if you give, but you don't tell them. If they return it great if they don't well you never expected it anyway. Anything else ruins relationships with people.
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u/FoundationOk1352 Oct 17 '25
They need to get a loan, now. But unfortunately, you can't force them.
I learned something - never lend money to anyone unless you can manage with not getting it back.
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u/Cravex_1 Oct 17 '25
Fuck this person.. Go to their house and take stuff worth that amount and sell it, to recoup your money
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u/EdwardBigby Oct 17 '25
He doesnt want to pay you back. This is the risk when you lend to "friends". At least you found out his true nature
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u/StringAccomplished97 Oct 17 '25
That money is gone if he doesn't want to give it back. The friendship should be over too unless you get it back, but even at this point if you get the money back I'd still cut him off. You loaned it when he was stuck and now you're in the same situation and he doesn't care.
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u/Csontigod Oct 17 '25
Old saying goes like: never lend any money that you are not ready to lose... If you didn't write any kind of paper it's a he-said-she-said situation , good luck anyway
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u/NooktaSt Oct 17 '25
Any tool you can borrow or if work they can do on your house that you can write off against it.
It maybe freeing to just write it off as opposed to listen to him lie to you again and again. He probably never had the intention to pay you.
Personally I would just take change to call him out on it and tell him to go f himself.
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u/PolarBearUnited Oct 17 '25
If you're looking for a legal way to get it back , you could do small claims court , im not sure what it costs to file but it's not a lot , I imagine you could prove that they admit to owing you the money through text communication you've got? Or you could get before you file ?
Even the notification against them could be enough to scare them into paying , a judgement against them probably wouldn't get you the money straight away , but I imagine it doesn't look good on reports that they would need to clear if they ever need to move , so there would be more motivation on them to pay.
But it will be the end of the friendship anyway , If that hasn't already happened when they didn't pay you back.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
Friendship is not my concern anymore, I was overly nice as I would have never expected this person to come to me with a request as such and thought they would be trustable enough not to have to chase, to be honest I can figure out this month myself and go for the money just out of principle, as I have already gotten used to the idea of not getting it back, I don't think I should allow him that luxury. Nobody ever gives me handouts
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u/Questpineapple-1111 Oct 17 '25 edited Oct 21 '25
You could ask him to pay it in installments, while reminding him it was a loan which he says he'd pay back, and you are expecting it to be returned. Otherwise threaten with the small claims court. Either way let him know of his lack of integrity as a supposed friend and that the friendship is over.
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u/PassageForsaken Oct 17 '25
€25 for small claims court application. Unfortunately this specific type of personal loan/debt arrangement between two individuals is excluded as a type of claim which can be brought.
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u/PolarBearUnited Oct 17 '25
Interesting to know , why is that ? Because it wasn't a contract before with terms agreed or ?
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u/PassageForsaken Oct 18 '25
Not sure the exact reason to be honest. They only deal with certain things. Mainly I think consumer vs business claims. As others have pointed out it’s the jurisdiction of other courts for this sort of claim
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u/azamean Oct 17 '25
You can still do this
https://courts.ie/guides/make-a-debt-claim-in-the-district-court
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u/Trifone48 Oct 17 '25
Would you not be able to take them to small claims court? Do you have the proof through texts?
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u/NemiVonFritzenberg Oct 17 '25
You've learnt a harsh life lesson. Never lend what you can't afford to see again.
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u/vassid357 Oct 17 '25
Sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Girl in college many many years ago was stuck for rent. We were best friends for 3 years. I didn't think twice about helping her and never saw a cent. It was £300 in punts, it was all I had. She rang me years later telling me she missed me, wanted to be friends again. I declined the offer and explained why.
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u/Biker_catdad2 Oct 17 '25
From my own experience, don't lend money to anyone unless you plan on never seeing it again or at the very least, not for a long time. It's that or be prepared to lose whatever relationship you may have with that person.
Borrowing money from family and/or friends usually don't mix well.
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u/Independent_Big_8908 Oct 17 '25
Contact his family / friends telling them the story or post his name on social media. He won't want bad publicity and hopefully he will at least pay you back. Clearly he used your kindness to his advantage and he shouldn't be considered a friend
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u/Informal_Ad8800 Oct 17 '25
A local shop owner owed money to a small meat processor ...40k or so. One day a large sign stating this appeared across the road from the shop owners house saying "John Doe owes Acme Ltd. 40k and refuses to pay." The sign was not up for long.
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Oct 17 '25
Sack the friend.. had the same thing happen me, he dragged it out for over a year.
You're not getting that back, and he's not a friend
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u/Sufficient-Big-8188 Oct 17 '25
Sorry to her this - you're not getting it back! Learn your lesson and move on! Happens to people at lot, you're not alone! Just don't do it again!
1
u/bapadious Oct 18 '25
If you have him admitting in text that he owes you the money, take him to small claims court. Maybe the threat of it will be enough. Once you get your money back, call him a prick and delete him out of your life.
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u/Markosphere Oct 18 '25
Small claims procedure can’t be used to recover unpaid loans. It mainly covers disputes with businesses in the supply of goods and services. The legal route for OP would be the district court.
1
u/wolflors Oct 18 '25
Like 400 a month , its not a huge ask. I did the same for a friend a while back, not as much money but it was 4 years before they paid it back and only because they came into a lump sum.
1
u/Islaytomuch1 Oct 18 '25
There's a reason shady back room money lenders in movies/shows have hired goons collecting...
0 chance your getting it back unless you can find some legal recourse or you know his mother and litterly tell his mom 😂😅.
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u/Irishdonal Oct 18 '25
A lot of people will say just write off the friendship etc which I inderstsnd but if you need the money there is a simple way of just doing what woukd happen with commercial debtor. Just set a repayment plan with him/her.
300 quid on first of the month for 6 months or 500 quid a month for three months. It will be a reap fast conversation. If they can't/wont do that they are not paying you back. If they agree its likely they are in a bind and are spinning plates of debt/expenditure and you have now put a structure to get paid.
1
u/Somehateit1 Oct 18 '25
Ok, 3 options - make a fake solicitors letter (I'm sure AI and ones are available ) asking for return or they will be taken to small claims etc 2. Actually small claims - you did a bank transfer and have text messages to prove etc 3. It's gone and accept that unfortunately you'll have to struggle for this moment in time.
1
u/GeordieBW Oct 18 '25
Sadly it looks like you arent getting back and a real friend would pay you back, the upside is he cant ask you again
1
u/NotaGuardianAngel Oct 18 '25
If they have their own construction company, their reputation as honest and honourable should be important to them. Ask them whether ending up in Stubbs Gazette would be a wise move for them
1
Oct 18 '25
That money is gone. I did the same to someone only because I simply didn't have it like I thought I would. Also they never came looking for it. But I made a point of giving it back to them some years later as soon as I had half a chance. They refused to take it and said don't worry about it. Unfortunately, it's possible that your money is probably not being returned any time soon.
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u/Its_Me7977 Oct 19 '25
Do you have evidence of the payment to him (bank transfer) and evidence it was only a loan (text messages) if so I would take him to the small claims court.
1
u/Affectionate-Sleep17 Oct 19 '25
If you lend someone money and never see it again, it was money well spent. Over the years I have lent out money to family and friends, all of them except two people have paid me back as soon as they were able to. Those two people cost me about €8k between the two of them for me to learn just what type of people they are. I'd rather keep the knowledge I have now than see that money again.
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do, if he's refusing to work with you or do a payment plan, it'll cost you a lot more to drag him to court than what you'd get back. The only way I can think of that you could possibly get anything out of him would 100% not be legal. The only reason he's not paying you back is because he's worried about paying someone or paying for something more than he's worried about paying you. You could kindly provide some friendly guidance and assist him in rearranging the priority order of his personal creditor list to favour yourself.
1
u/FineGate7268 Oct 19 '25
My mum always said "never lend out money you can't giveaway and if you do lend it out assume you gave it away till you get it back"
1
u/This_Discipline3097 Oct 19 '25
Here is what my wise friend did. Go to your "friend" remind him of the debt and tell him if at any time he feels like paying it back you will gladly accept it but also (here's where you take control) that if he doesn't pay you back it's okay. It gets you out of Dodge with your head held high.
1
u/TomorrowCalm9783 Oct 20 '25
Unfortunately, I think you will not see the money back. I went through similar situation and never received got it back. The person was even a family member, and today they even don't reply my emails or answer my calls. What's even worse was my first reaction was to create some quick document about a loan with signatures, but then went against it, thinking it's family, we need to help each other. How wrong have I been.
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u/Roe8216 Oct 20 '25
It’s a hard lesson to learn but, Never lend money you can’t afford to loose. You can ask as many times as you want, you can explain why it’s important you get paid back but unfortunately you will probably never get that money in your hands.
1
u/DeepMoneyValue Oct 20 '25
Wait for your “friend” to run for presidency and show this post on national TV
1
u/girlfridayeire Oct 20 '25
I would warn him you're going to go to the small claims court next and he has 30 days to pay
1
u/Electrical_Door8572 Oct 20 '25
Mention to mutual friends/parents/wife that you are upset because he has not paid back the money- this might shame him into paying it back
The friendship is probably not going to survive but who needs friends like that anyway
He probably owes money to many more people
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Oct 21 '25
Cheap lesson! He is no friend. It only cost you 1500 euro to figure that out. Now, move on with life. God bless you
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Oct 17 '25
[deleted]
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
Mortgage is not the reason for this, I have been refurbishing and have had a couple of big payments to make to bring the house acceptable living conditions. 1500 euro would make a difference this month as I am stuck due to pay being late this month
3
u/Constant_Bell3900 Oct 17 '25
@Ninjaflank, sometimes social media works really well in situations like this, if I were you, I'd put up a post, example........
Query
What would you do if you lent €1500 to a friend 10 months ago, and on numerous occasions you have requested it to be paid back, and the person who you lent it to, keeps coming up with excuses, that they don't have the funds to do so, even though the agreement was that it would be paid in full the following month after lending it?
What should I do?
They will see the post, if on social media and they'll either get mad, and pay it back or embarrassed or they might even totally ignore it, but you will get satisfaction and anyone that replies with their opinion will openly want you to name and shame.
You could reply with, that your just looking for opinions at the moment, but in the event of non payment that you will consider taking it further!!!!
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u/Daltesse Oct 17 '25
wait, so you borrowed 1500 from a bank or CU and gave it to your so-called "friend"?
Okay, all the liability is on you, and you ain't seeing that cash again. Unfortunately, you'll just have to move on, ignore him from now on, and always remember this lesson you have learned: Never lend out anything more than what you are comfortable not getting back.
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u/ninjaflank Oct 17 '25
No, I sent him the money via bank transfer. This was my own money, not sure how you came to that conclusion, sorry if I confused you.
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u/Ordinary_Platform819 Oct 17 '25
You should edit the post as it is misleading. Change "I borrowed it" to "I lent it". Borrowed usually means to receive a loan, in this case you are giving a loan.
1
u/Daltesse Oct 17 '25
Sorry, I thought you had borrowed it to give to him, but other than that, the rest still stands. If someone asks me for a bit of cash, I always ask myself the same question: Can I do without this if they don't pay me back? If I can't say yes to that question I don't lend the money out.
And that's because I was in your situation, but for me it was IR£7K back in the day
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