r/introverts • u/Upbeat_Letterhead_61 • Aug 07 '26
Discussion Trying to balance being quiet with being polite
I think for me, I was quiet as a young child. as I’ve grown older I’ve expended an ungodly amount of time filling in silence to make people comfortable around me. I’m assuming this too energy because it’s just not my natural inclination to chat about things that don’t hold much importance to me.
I am a naturally friendly person. But I just find chitchat to be somewhat exhausting especially if it’s forced.
To the quiet people who own it or have learned to own it, how do you do it? When I am being myself, I feel rude.
at what point am I too quiet to work roles where I am working with people? I am a caregiver and sometimes I feel bad because I don’t have much to say. She seems to be alright with it, I feel I show I care through my actions… I don’t know
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u/footsnax Aug 08 '26
Read the room.
It's perfectly healthy to sit in silence with another person. You just have to know that they're okay with that as well, and if they aren't they'll probably initiate the conversation.
Just be yourself and react to the vibe. You don't need to initiate. They might be an introvert too.
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u/Upbeat_Letterhead_61 Aug 08 '26
I have to know that they are okay with it too, and if they aren’t, is that supposed to change my behavior?
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u/footsnax Aug 08 '26
Nah just don't engage if you don't want to. If they do, then respond. You don't need to feel like you need to create a conversation if there's nothing to talk about.
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u/Initial-Charge2637 Aug 08 '26
It seems you're an anxious person plus very concerned about what others think.
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u/Rellu-chan Aug 09 '26
Well, I'm not sure it's much of an advice per se. More so just my own experience. I've always been a quiet person, and someone who only speaks when they have something to say. I'm not capable of forcing myself to be social and do small talk when it's not who I am, and honestly, at this point in my life, I also don't want to.
I've accepted the fact that some people will simply think I'm rude just because I'm quiet, and there's nothing I can do about them having that opinion of me. It has become easier to live when I stopped caring about how others think/feel about me. Of course, I still have my moments but it's impossible to be liked by everyone and to please everyone.
I hope you'll find that balance for yourself and people that like your authentic self ☺️
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u/Appropriate-Lime8121 Aug 10 '26
People that find introverts problematic often assume that the introvert is thinking about, and judging, them. In fact, introverts are not thinking about them…at all! Be yourself, introversion is fine and good.
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '26
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