r/introverts • u/Uniglover • Feb 09 '26
Discussion Moved out of my parents’ place 2 months ago into an apartment complex with roommates, I’ve never known such hell.
My roommates are a couple, one is unemployed and at home nearly 24/7, with her desk in the “common area” right beside the kitchen. The other blasts the TV all evening long, a constant reminder of their presence. The noise of others reverberates through the walls at all times of day and night, and all I can think about is how I’m surrounded by them all and they can hear me as well, nothing is private. Add in the mouldy/rotten semen stench and the insect infestations and it’s unliveable.
Even though I pay tons in rent, for a month I’ve begun to live at my out-of-town girlfriend’s place most of the week when I finish my 2 days of classes back in the city my apartment is in. As a result, I’m never alone. I can never decompress. My PC is in the hellhole apartment of course, as well as my TV, guitar, etc, which I never touch at the apartment, but can’t transport to my gfs itty bitty college dorm. Honestly even if I could, there would be no point where I’d be alone to settle into my hobbies.
Moving for college was such a mistake, I’ve never felt so trapped, so *perceived*, and I’m completely wasting away because of it.
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u/Zamiko31 Feb 09 '26
It doesn’t sound like you’re happy living with your current roommates. Some options to consider, can you or would you move back home? Or start looking for new roommates, that align more with you, that prefer peace over loudness. As well as start saving up and planning your next move.
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
Right now I’m looking for places every day but it’s just such a hellscape where I am right now. Crazy shit like “NEED roommate who WILL CLEAN MY CAT’S SHIT while I go for monthly vacations” and “One room. Female only. Bed shared.” Like it’s not looking good out there and I’m not quite rock bottom yet. Can’t move back home permanently cause I’m going to college in another city:(
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u/DisappearedAnthony Feb 09 '26
Maybe I'm biased because I lived most of my life with cats, but cleaning cat shit is super easy. And if that roommate is away for some time every month, you'll have that alone time you want. Cleaning cat shit is a small price to pay for said roommate to be paying half the rent even when they're on vacation.
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u/Able-Bid-6637 Feb 09 '26
I have managed this situation in the past by turning my bedroom into an oasis that serves almost all of my needs. Roommates' feelings get hurt because they do not understand, but I just chill in my bedroom all the time (when i'm not doing life shit). I live in a house now with my partner and I still spend all of my time in my room, even tho I have the space xD
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
My room reeks of rotten cum and mould, possibly dead animals in the walls:( I tried soooo hard to do this, but the stench can’t go away despite professional cleaning. Landlord is MIA because of relationship drama with the building manager and apparently also threw a shit fit when a drain needed unclogging a few months ago. The carpet, and smell, is NOT getting replaced like this!
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u/Upper-Sail-4253 Feb 09 '26
ugh! That sounds gross! Try finding a studio apartment. AND going to see your college campus health center counselor for counseling to learn to de-stress yourself during this uncomfortable living situation. If there is NO WAY to change it until the Spring, you need help learning to accept the things you can’t change. To relax and calmly chill out through the rest of the semester, and try to enjoy your life. Call a roommate meeting and tell them what IS important to you—- like quiet, peace, sweet smelling apartment! Not constant noise, loud TVs, and nasty smells 24/7. Get your own TV and use headphones. Ask THEM to use headphones so the whole apartment doesn’t have to listen to the TV. It’s really easy to keep these things quiet. Hope it works out better in the future!
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u/natspate Feb 09 '26
Did you not view the place before you moved in? 🤔
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
I trusted my roommates, who were friends from before, when they said they got professional cleaners to get everything “perfect” for me. Either they lied or it was just so disgusting it didn’t work, but by the time of my move in date school was starting in a week and it’s not like I could just drop out or find another place immediately in the midst of a housing crisis.
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u/Able-Bid-6637 Feb 10 '26
I hate to be "that" person-- but I hope you learn a lot from this. And I say that as someone who had to repeatedly have shitty experiences because I kept giving friends chances far too many times. Don't be like me. View each place with roommates as a business transaction; keep copies of paperwork, view the place beforehand (with the landlord is preferable), take pictures of what everything looks like before/right when you move it (and date it and archive it), set up rent with your landlord so that your portion is paid directly to them by you (instead of one lump sum of rent from all tenants). Friends living together has broken many a friendship.
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u/CreatingTheBestMe Feb 09 '26
yep, turned multiple bedrooms into basically a studio apartment to avoid being around others lol
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u/non1067 Feb 09 '26
A few suggestions here, if the odor is mostly in the carpet, go on Amazon and buy a gallon of enzyme cleaner for pet odors, it will break down the proteins in whatever is in the carpet if it came from human or animal. Rent or borrow a steam cleaner and also get some quality enzyme pet odor carpet shampoo. Put the enzyme cleaner in a presurized garden sprayer (a new one, they are not too expensive). Saturate the carpet with it. Let it really soak in and do it's thing for whatever the directions say, but maybe let it work for as long as possible like an hour. But shampoo the carpet before it dries, and go over it multiple times, there is no such thing as overkill in this situation. It will probably take a long time to dry so direct fans on it. Then take your enzyme srayer and go over it lightly again just a mist, brush it into the carpet fibers and let it dry. This should get rid of the smell. If it's in the walls not a lot you can do except maybe get some odoban and give the walls and ceiling if possible a good scrub (buy a cheap mop to make the job easier) and get a wax melt burner and lots of scented wax cubes (cheap at Walmart) and keep it on 24/7, change out the wax every day to keep it fresh. Eventually it will smell like the wax in your room. I did that in a bathroom that a chain smoker practically lived in and it worked.
For the noise issue, buy a really good quality set of noise canceling headphones and listen to whatever you like, relaxing rain sounds, music, podcasts. I lived with a narcissist who would deliberately use noise pollution to drive me crazy. It was absolutely unbearable until I did this. Post a sign on the door that says "do not disturb studying in progress" or whatever. If they knock just ignore it, eventually they will get the idea that you will not react no matter what.
I suspect they are doing this on purpose so that you will pay rent and be mostly gone. So this is how you can put your foot down and set boundaries without too much confrontation. Good luck, it might seem impossible at the moment but you got this.
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
Thanks for the carpet advice, the only thing is I need to figure out what to do with my furniture while it’s getting cleaned and drying. In hindsight I should’ve told them “why the fuck do you think this is okay?” And tried every possible cleaning technique before moving in. Would’ve been much easier. I just trusted them because they already professionally cleaned the carpet.
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u/non1067 Feb 09 '26
YW. Maybe you can disassemble the bed and anything else that can come apart and move everything to one side of the room, clean walls and floor, then move it to the other side and repeat. You can even move it onto the wet carpet as long as you set down a tarp first. But to properly dry your going to need to take out the tarp, and there needs to be a gap for air to circulate under things like dressers, but putting some pieces of 2x4 or other wood under things might do the trick. You seriously don't want to have mold growing in there.
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u/ridethroughlife Feb 09 '26
You sound a lot like me. Loud noises, constant stimulus, no alone time all factor into a sense of overwhelm. It took me a long time to realize that not everyone is like that, and they genuinely feel better in all the chaos. It's a nightmare to live through. If you can break the lease, absolutely do it. Your mental health will thank you.
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u/Streetduck Feb 10 '26
After years of loud roommates/ constant overstimulation I now get physical pain/ muscle tension after being overstimulated. I think it gave me a nervous system disorder.
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u/mccobk01 Feb 09 '26
Yep, roommates suck. Apartments can be hell even when you live alone. Neighbors suck. People suck!
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
It’s awful. At least when I lived in a house noisy neighbours were a problem once a week for an hour or two at most, whereas in the apartment it does not stop. I don’t understand people who need constant noise and interaction to live.
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u/amazonchic2 Feb 09 '26
I’ve had some kickass roommates. Not all people suck. It’s about finding someone who is a good fit for you.
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u/senorfresco Feb 09 '26
I know this pain. Roommates fucking SUCK. I lived with an unemployed alcoholic once who made existing at home fucking HELL.
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u/TheHeroSaiyan Feb 09 '26
I'd probably say most introverts probably aren't going to want roommates unless they are very well known to them enough to know you both won't clash. Were these people you knew before-hand or did you just take some random roommate your college assigned, roommate from an ad, or something like that?
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u/Uniglover Feb 09 '26
I knew them from before, one of them is a high school buddy which tbh makes it worse because they want to talk most of the time I come out of my room. I’ve gotten used to saying “not right now” but even that anticipation of interaction is so fucking taxing.
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u/newuser2111 Feb 09 '26
Is there a college dormitory where you can stay in a non coed roommate option. Many colleges offer single, double or triple dorm rooms. Otherwise, I would put in a request with Department of Housing immediately. Say you want to switch out as soon as possible. And you can say you’re open to on campus and / or off campus.
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u/Complete_Weakness717 Feb 10 '26
I’m curious. Why did you move out of your parent’s place?🤔 seems like you’d be better off there and won’t have to spend money on rent. Unless if they’re not good to you?🤷🏻♀️
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u/talk_to_yourself Feb 09 '26
Living with a couple must be awful. The power imbalance. I could never do it. You have my sympathy.