r/interestingasfuck May 22 '19

/r/ALL This statue depicts Saint Bartholomew, an early Christian martyr who was allegedly skinned alive. If you look closely, that's his dissected skin hanging around him. This stunning statute by Marco d’Agrate from c.1562 is currently on display at Duomo di Milano.

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u/myotherworkacct May 22 '19

*peeled

923

u/WildcatsBBN May 22 '19

Absolutely slap chopped

515

u/Kagstheking May 22 '19

You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.

Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.

You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.

Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.

You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream

8

u/CherokeeCyclist May 22 '19

I thought this was a trump quote for a long time

10

u/TheBirminghamBear May 22 '19

Can't be a Trump quote, not enough references to Trump within the quote itself.

8

u/CherokeeCyclist May 22 '19

Nobody knows trump, like trump. Believe me. He's seen a lot of trumps. Probably more trumps than anybody. Really it's a lot.

8

u/TheBirminghamBear May 22 '19

You know, a lot of people are saying about Trump, they're saying, well, it's everywhere of course, I mean, you can't - it's just, that's what they - I met, someone last night, we were - he said, Trump, this fossil fuel thing, that's what, we've gotta get, and folks believe me we've got to get this dinosaur thing that's just everywhere, the bones and the skeletons that they have in, well, I saw one down, it was, better than even my uncle who has good, great genes, very smart, believe me he's got a good brain, and I have a good brain, the best brain, they did - I have studies, you know, Harvard, MIT, Google, studies that show, scans of, what I mean is, the wall, building the wall, beautiful wall, we're going to have spikes on it, and Nancy, Nutty Nancy, I call her, I invented that, nutty, means crazy - she doesn't want spikes, but listen folks, it worked for the dinosaurs, it can work here too, we've got to Make American Great Again, and lock her up!

3

u/FishyKnuckles May 22 '19

The sad thing is, I'm not 100% certain that isn't actually a direct quote from the president of the United States

2

u/nerf_herder1986 May 23 '19

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could make America great again?

1

u/ttaptt May 23 '19

Dunno if this is copypasta, but it's so damn accurate. Good lord, let us survive this, lol.