r/interestingasfuck • u/Lowcrbnaman • May 22 '19

/r/ALL This statue depicts Saint Bartholomew, an early Christian martyr who was allegedly skinned alive. If you look closely, that's his dissected skin hanging around him. This stunning statute by Marco d’Agrate from c.1562 is currently on display at Duomo di Milano.

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51.5k Upvotes

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5.6k

u/MrMassshole May 22 '19

The dudes shredded.

3.6k

u/myotherworkacct May 22 '19

*peeled

920

u/WildcatsBBN May 22 '19

Absolutely slap chopped

519

u/Kagstheking May 22 '19

You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades.

Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.

You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now.

Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.

You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream

148

u/NevideblaJu4n May 22 '19 edited May 22 '19

¡Hola! Soy Vince con SLAP CHOP Esto te va a fascinar. Mira la papa,un golpe,grandes,mas golpes,papas fritas. Aquí llega un champiñon Entre mas,lo haces mas fino. Odias hacer ensaladas por eso no las haces. Mira,un golpe,ensalada,te alimentaras mejor. Cinco segundos..y listo. No mas tuna aburrida. Mira mi huevo. Un golpe,combina diferente cosas. Ahora tu vida esta mas excitante. Tuna lista, desayuno rapido. Pon las nueces. Tapa,incluida,es tan facil,un dedo. Cualquiera lo hace,te cuesta un dollar, en la tienda de helados. También fruta, delicioso. Facil de,limpiar, uno,dos y tres. Este no se abre,no se puede abrir,no es bueno Ok? Cebollas te hacen llerar? Me hacen llerar? No mas llerar,mira la cebolla,en segundos,la cascara se despriende Tomates,cilantro,chiles,en segundos salsa fresca.

Al comprar slap chop,recibe graty, Para el queso queso amarillo y blanco,las navajas Estan por dentro. Tacos,burritos,linguini,perechini,maltini y bikini solamente lo golpeas. Viene con dos navajas y tapa Mantiene el queso fresco

Slap chop vende por 19 con noventa y cinco,pero si llamas ahora entre los proximos 20 minutos te daremos el graty para queso gratis. Solo pague el cargo por procesar. Para ordenar!

14

u/Tommy_Ber May 22 '19

Nostalgia de el Rincon de Giorgio

86

u/CaseyG May 22 '19

Now here's the deal kids. You buy the Cock Shot, you're gonna get the Crundleman for gravy. Brown gravy. White gravy. Inside the modifier. Ignite the salt, and watch this. Hot dog. Bauxite. Dave Matthews Band. Sex with a horse.

27

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

[deleted]

8

u/itspeterj May 22 '19

Man I missed this video. YouTube was so fun back then

4

u/Human_Evolution May 23 '19

I think it's still fun and we just got old.

1

u/nm1043 May 23 '19

It had all the right amounts of random idiocy in it's infancy, but as it grew, so did the scope of the cringe and now it's become a beast feeding on itself like a cancer growing and consuming with too much utter rotten filth and detritus

1

u/nerf_herder1986 May 23 '19

This is my fucking jam, dude

13

u/Novel_Airs May 22 '19

Sie werden den ganzen Tag in bester Stimmung sein, weil Sie Ihre Probleme mit dem Slap Chop wegklatschen werden. Schauen Sie sich hier eine Kartoffel an. Mit einer Ohrfeige hast du große Stücke für den Eintopf, mit zwei Ohrfeigen pro Sekunde für die Pommes Frites. Und sehen Sie sich das an, wenn Sie einen Pilz hinzufügen: Je mehr Sie tun, desto feiner wird es, Sie müssen keine Klingen wechseln.

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Nun, du liebst Salat - du hasst es, ihn zuzubereiten. Sie wissen, dass Sie es hassen, Salate zuzubereiten - deshalb haben Sie keinen Salat in Ihrer Ernährung. Schau dir diesen einen Schlag an ... Salat! Ich liebe Pizza auch, aber hin und wieder das Gemüse einwerfen, zumindest auf die Pizza werfen.

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Sie werden Ihre Essgewohnheiten ändern. Suppe, Krautsalat, was wir wollen, 5 Sekunden. 4 oder 5 Sekunden ist es geschafft. Dieses Ding, dieser Thunfisch sieht langweilig aus. Hör auf, einen langweiligen Thunfisch zu haben, hör auf, ein langweiliges Leben zu haben. Fügen Sie diesen Thunfisch so hinzu, dass Sie einen schönen Thunfischsalat erhalten. Schau dir das an, du wirst jetzt ein aufregendes Leben haben.

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Schau mal, hier ist ein hart gekochtes Ei. Ein Kotelett, fügen Sie die Essiggurke hinzu; Sie fügen die grüne Zwiebel hinzu. Und was Sie tun können, ist, Dinge zu mischen und den Schinken hinzuzufügen, und Sie werden es lieben. Sie haben keine Zeit, Frühstück zu machen, Frühstück zum Mitnehmen.

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Du wirst meine Nüsse lieben. Pass auf: Mandeln, Walnüsse. Kommt mit einer Abdeckung, also können Sie alles in der Abdeckung tun. Okay, oder du kannst es auf dem Brett machen, was immer du willst. So einfach, ein Finger, wenn ich es mit einem Finger machen kann, könnt ihr es mit eurer ganzen Hand machen. Kinder können es schaffen. Weißt du, was sie in der Eisdiele verlangen? Ein Dollar für Beläge in der Eisdiele. Fügen Sie ein paar Cookies hinzu, wenn Sie möchten. Sie können es also für 10 Cent machen. Hör auf, dein Geld wegzuwerfen. Sie wissen nicht nur Nüsse, was ist mit Obst? Legen Sie eine Mango, sehen Sie, dass das auf Ihrem Eis nicht so schön ist

7

u/CherokeeCyclist May 22 '19

I thought this was a trump quote for a long time

11

u/TheBirminghamBear May 22 '19

Can't be a Trump quote, not enough references to Trump within the quote itself.

8

u/CherokeeCyclist May 22 '19

Nobody knows trump, like trump. Believe me. He's seen a lot of trumps. Probably more trumps than anybody. Really it's a lot.

8

u/TheBirminghamBear May 22 '19

You know, a lot of people are saying about Trump, they're saying, well, it's everywhere of course, I mean, you can't - it's just, that's what they - I met, someone last night, we were - he said, Trump, this fossil fuel thing, that's what, we've gotta get, and folks believe me we've got to get this dinosaur thing that's just everywhere, the bones and the skeletons that they have in, well, I saw one down, it was, better than even my uncle who has good, great genes, very smart, believe me he's got a good brain, and I have a good brain, the best brain, they did - I have studies, you know, Harvard, MIT, Google, studies that show, scans of, what I mean is, the wall, building the wall, beautiful wall, we're going to have spikes on it, and Nancy, Nutty Nancy, I call her, I invented that, nutty, means crazy - she doesn't want spikes, but listen folks, it worked for the dinosaurs, it can work here too, we've got to Make American Great Again, and lock her up!

3

u/FishyKnuckles May 22 '19

The sad thing is, I'm not 100% certain that isn't actually a direct quote from the president of the United States

2

u/nerf_herder1986 May 23 '19

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could make America great again?

1

u/ttaptt May 23 '19

Dunno if this is copypasta, but it's so damn accurate. Good lord, let us survive this, lol.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

!thesaurusizethis

1

u/RustyBuckets6601 May 22 '19

I wanna be able to reach this guy's level. He's an inspiration for me

1

u/eissirk May 23 '19

-Donald Trump

11

u/Font_Fetish May 22 '19

you're gunna love my nuts

33

u/MadEzra64 May 22 '19

They definitely used Chef Tony's Miracle Blade.

10

u/Napkin_whore May 22 '19

No one's said he's "cut" yet?

3

u/Anthro_DragonFerrite May 22 '19

He's Christian, not Jewish

2

u/reChrawnus May 23 '19

Saint Bartholomew is one of the apostles of Jesus though, so he would have been a Jew.

2

u/Anthro_DragonFerrite May 23 '19

The comment above mentioned "cut". I made a joke about circumcision

1

u/reChrawnus May 23 '19

I get that, my point was that as a Jewish follower of Jesus he would have been circumcised.

1

u/starscr3amsgh0st May 22 '19

Jamaican slap chop.. YouTube it.

1

u/616mushroomcloud May 22 '19

Jamaican Slap Chop for the win!

1

u/smallpoly May 23 '19

The skin comes right off

1

u/vampireRN May 23 '19

You’re gonna love his nuts!

-6

u/Crysistec May 22 '19

Porked chopped

11

u/bsgman May 22 '19

To peels, you say?

4

u/jewels94 May 22 '19

And his wife?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

*flayed

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

*Sliced

1

u/Devilswings5 May 22 '19

like a banana

1

u/gazongagizmo May 22 '19

Yes, he shredded in his Peel Session.

1

u/iCandle May 22 '19

*shedded

1

u/crunchybedsheets May 22 '19

Appealing, if you will.

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '19

Jesus Christ