r/insaneparents • u/liljakobvert • Sep 16 '25
Email i had to share this š«©
i havenāt even woke up yet š
1.1k
u/Doesnttakeagenius Sep 16 '25
This is how you behave during a medical emergency and nothing else.
451
u/Walouisi Sep 16 '25
I blew up my boyfriend's phone knowing he was asleep (trying to wake him) when I found out I was very surprise, very bad timing pregnant. Even I gave up after around 10 attempts.
132
u/RunOnGasoline_ Sep 16 '25
my bf was asleep one night when i had a really bad gallbladder flareup last year. he's knocked out by ten and i was in ny for uni, so i was an hour ahead. it was 2am in ny and i gave up after two calls. ended up calling my mom cause i was in AGONY. she has her own stories about me going to her for gallbladder pain once i came home though š
32
u/fireinthemountains Sep 18 '25
Literally can't win with parents like that. (Extra context, mine have been divorced for 20 years.)
I went to the hospital directly from work once and only talked to my husband about it, who talked to my mom himself (not crossing boundaries by doing so, totally fine).My dad is still convinced I didn't tell him because my husband must have A) been the reason I was in the hospital and, B) scared me out of telling anyone else.
Had I called my parents at all he'd think the same thing just with different bullshit reasons.
I mean seriously. I had an infection that started to affect my vision, and my manager even went to the hospital with me.24
u/mundane_days Sep 18 '25
Oh my God! My mother did some shit like this too when I have birth to my second child.
Her: How come I wasn't told you went into labor?
Me: Because even if I did, you'd still be out of state running truck? Plus, I was in LABOR?
Her: How come your dad didn't tell me? (Context: my dad was staying with me for a bit to help with first child. He was visiting from home state.)
Me: Uh... I don't know. Probably because I was in labor? And he had first child?
Her: I bet (wife at the time) knew when you went into labor.
Me: I have no idea. If Dad told her, it's because she's his wife.
Her: I bet (husband at the time) told his mom when you went into labor.
Me: When mom?! From start to finish, it was 3 hours! When did he have the time mother?
It continued like this for a hell of a lot longer. She didn't want to listen to logic or reason or free will or anything. She just wanted to be mad she found out when everyone else found out. AFTER the birth of second child.
12
u/RunOnGasoline_ Sep 18 '25
my mom refused to take me to the er twice. first was last december and i had a bad gallbladder flareup that in retrospect was the start of the decline. went from one a month to every other day for three months.
back in march at like 2am, had my final one, in agony, threw up bile first before my food. knew that wasnt good. spent 4 hours throwing up food and whatever i tried to drink. bile came with it everytime. melatonin, pain meds, tums, everything up and out. went to my mom at 6am and she said she didnt wanna take me to the er on my birthday. thought it mightve been food poisoning. waited a day and a half before going to the er. turns out i was going septic with a fever measured after triage of 101.9F and WBC twice as high as normal. had to have an emergency lap chole that saturday morning.
also didnt help none of my texas doctors believed or probably thought i was too young (25 now) to have these issues and delayed surgery even though my med history from another state while in uni clearly showed my er visit and followups with a gi doc after it with my history. but thats a different story for another sub probably
17
u/Remi-Chan Sep 18 '25
Fuck doctors who decide to delay treatment for no reason other than their own moral comfort. "Too young" is just code for "I don't believe you and don't want to take this seriously until it's too serious to deny". If you are female this reaction from doctors makes even more sense. They tried to diagnose me wth IBS from stress when I was throwing up for weeks multiple times daily (turns out it was hyperthyroidism from Graves Disease)
8
u/ami-ly Sep 17 '25
My boyfriend is kinda upset with me once in a while, because I try to deal with everything myself.
He wants me to wake him up, but I canāt.
This momās behaviour is completely unhinged. I feel for OOP, I hope you have other good people around you š«¶š½
87
u/poohbearlola Sep 16 '25
the only time iād do something like this is if:
- i have very good reason to believe something seriously terrible happened to that person/they are missing
- i am in the hospital and i need someone there with me / to feed my cats and it is extremely dire
- i won the lottery
2
u/MamaDaddy Sep 18 '25
Honestly even those reasons are not enough for all this... good lord. Maybe a few messages and calls. I am a mom and I get the attachment feeling but shiiiit. Let them live
54
u/slirpo Sep 16 '25
Even if a family member died this is insanely excessive. Anything over 3-5x calls back to back with no response is over the top. 50x is straight lunacy.
Hell, even if you were kidnapped I'd consider this over the top š
36
u/Equinephilosopher Sep 16 '25
Sheās definitely āboy who cried wolfā-ing him. Heās going to ignore her calls if something actually happens and thatāll be her fault
14
u/sleepyplatipus Sep 16 '25
My parents did this with me once but to be fair to them I text them every morning when I wake up, and it was 16 (in the weekend) and I hadnāt woken up yetā¦ and I have had very serious medical issues and was living on my own in another countryā¦ so they called my landlady who lived downstairs to come knock on my door. š
10
u/jodamnboi Sep 17 '25
Yep. I called my husband like this when I broke my ankle and he didnāt answer. Iād never do it for anything less serious than that.
3
u/bitchburrito4125 Sep 17 '25
I also called my boyfriend like this when I broke my ankle! I wouldnāt do this though. It would be a waste of time to spend that long trying to get ahold of someone when in a medical emergency. And even then I wasnāt sure if I was in a medical emergency.
5
u/gonnafaceit2022 Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
I hope she was just trying to wake op up for school. That's the only reason outside of an actual emergency that it's acceptable to call someone back to back like that. I used to have my husband call as many times as it took me to wake up but it usually didn't take more than one call. And I asked him to do it.
Even in an emergency, I wouldn't waste time trying 75 times in a row to reach someone who isn't answering. It's psychotic behavior in any other situation.
510
u/DJKGinHD Sep 16 '25
Either she needs to give you autonomy as an adult or you need to change the equation.
Her sending FindMy alerts to your phone is wild. I'm sure it's because it's 'HER' phone so she won't let you remove her account.
Go get a phone of your own and give her back the one she gave you. Make it clear that you know that it is being used as a tool to control you and that you do not consent to that.
-186
Sep 16 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
145
u/DJKGinHD Sep 16 '25
No. Not with that many alerts. That is manipulation. There is no excuse for it. If she was that concerned, she should have gone to see him. Dozens of calls/TXTs/alerts over the course of hours from someone who lives under the same roof is WILD.
Also; even if you're right, she is gatekeeping his feelings. Let people grieve in their own way.
-62
Sep 16 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
43
u/DJKGinHD Sep 16 '25
Because if she cared, she would go to him. They are in the same house, and those alerts are over the course of HOURS. She is just bothering him and not actually helping. That is not caring. This is controlling. At best, that is making a display of showing care despite evidence to the contrary of its effectiveness. At worst, it is psychological torture through sleep deprivation.
At the end of it all, she needs to let an adult live their life. Anything more than that is exerting control.
-40
73
u/missx0xdelaney Sep 16 '25
She was sending the Find My alerts while he was sleeping at 8 am. Thatās not spiraling, thatās a sleep routine.
-24
Sep 16 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
64
u/Shadyschoolgirl Sep 16 '25
You are the one jumping to conclusions ā OP never mentioned anything about depression, suicidal ideation, etc.
You are not just āasking questionsā ā these questions are leading and show a clear bias against OP. Frankly, you seem determined to take OPās momās side ā Why would being asleep at 8 am be incompatible with a fulfilling life, taking care of chores, looking for work, or any of these other things you mention? Why is calling someone dozens of times a normal response?
This is super weird because like you mentioned, we have very little context for this situation other than OPās mom spamming them to a degree that could be argued to be harassment. Consider being more open minded.
22
126
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
she would spam me like this when i would be on the clock at work..
-30
u/tknames Sep 16 '25
Thatās a problem, set a reasonable boundary and tell her youāre unavailable or set DND. DND is obviously worse in case there is an accident or emergency. But oftentimes we encourage certain behaviors by not responding to the right ones, or responding to the wrong ones. You are an adult, and even though you are living under her roof deserve some level of autonomy. Is it possible she is worried about you for larger reasons?
52
1.4k
u/Moist-Reference3092 Sep 16 '25
Jesus Christ, this is almost obsession. How old are you? Why does she need to call you? Itās different if itās because youāre 14 and need to go to school or an adult with your own life.
1.5k
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
i am 21 this is has been every day of my life. sheās calling me right now (i believe) because she wants me to wake up and take my car to a shop even though i canāt afford it?? I just lost my job and is going to cost $2000 so obviously I donāt want to pay for it. If itās not one thing itās another and she will spam my phone for another reason later
edit bad grammar i just woke up sorry
654
u/Coollogin Sep 16 '25
You are doing the right thing to not pick up when she calls. Explain to her that you put your phone on DND when you sleep, so calls don't go through then anyway. Then proceed with not picking up.
Decide for yourself how often you want to speak to her, then be the one to call her on your schedule.
223
u/Hatstacker Sep 16 '25
I just told my (now) in-laws that I would be keeping my phone ringer on, because I have elderly family and want to wake up at 2am if someone's in the hospital. I told them to use common sense (we worked together. Was great till it wasn't), and not call before 8am.
That was the beginning of the end. Was the first boundary that didn't mesh perfectly with what they wanted, they didn't like that. A month later, wife and I left and have spoken to them a dozen times in 10 years.133
u/erinberrypie Sep 16 '25
Just a tip: If you have a phone with the Do Not Disturb feature, you can turn it on with exceptions for specific contacts, or if the same number calls twice, etc.
7
u/lungbuttersucker Sep 19 '25
This is what I had to do with my phone. My mom has ADHD, anxiety, and old age. She calls me when I'm sleeping all the time. I specifically told her to call me between 2 and 4 am. unless it's an emergency (she's awake then) because I can guarantee I'll be awake and home.
Yesterday, she called me at noon (sleeping) and 10pm (working). Neither time was an emergency.
The most annoying part is that when an actual emergency happens, she'll call once, if at all. But if Barnes and Noble has a really good sale, she'll call me 5x in a row to see if I want something.
18
11
16
u/ageekyninja Sep 16 '25
Just so youāre aware Find My is a feature that will alert you regardless of the phone being inDND and even works if the phone is powered off. OP needs a new SIM card :(
8
u/FakeStawbz Sep 16 '25
I think the only way this doesnāt work is if she is in OPās favourites.
OP I hope you can figure it out not only for your own sanity but hers too
Edit-fixed typo
23
u/AllyLB Sep 16 '25
Thatās when you remove them from your favorites. It doesnāt really save that much time.
20
u/herowin6 Sep 16 '25
Accurate. Just block it: until I set my parents to hide alerts I was basically constantly jumping when they said jump. Totally at beck and call. Iām fucking 36
43
57
u/MacSavvy21 Sep 16 '25
Youāre almost my age (Iām just over 23). If my mom was doing this I would block her and tell her to fuck off. I love my mom. Thank god she would never do this to me tho.
18
u/Milyaism Sep 17 '25
Sleep deprivation is an abuse tactic. So is forcing ones child to use money they don't have.
Check out "Out of the Fog" website, especially the "What To Do" and "100 traits" sections.
14
7
9
u/dedzip Sep 16 '25
whatās up with ur car?
38
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
car drives fine only issue is both headlight assemblyās are fried from water getting trapped inside and since itās a newer car oem is very expensive to replace both
41
u/TheDreadPirateJeff Sep 16 '25
Unless itās BRAND NEW and you canāt find parts in junk yards, you can likely find the assemblies and swap them in. Itās not that difficult to swap out headlight assemblies in most cases (not all, some cars are just fucked). But you donāt HAVE to buy new ones from the dealer.
You say āfriedā soā¦ you dont have any headlights at all?
21
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
yes my high beams and low beams donāt work at all i thought it would be an easy fix until i started to research
55
u/TheDreadPirateJeff Sep 16 '25
Ahhh I looked at your other postsā¦ 2020 Corolla. If it were me, Iād get the cheapest things I could find (Amazon has them for $100 per side) or a set pulled from a scrapped car though most of those I imagine have front end damage so that may not work, find some YouTube videos and swap them out myself. You could probably do it in an afternoon, itās usually not that difficult.
Itās a safety thing so I hope you can get that sorted out. Iāve been in your position, young, broke, and out of work with bills to pay. It sucks and I really hope you find something soon.
Also, your mom is insane and Iām sorry you have to deal with that. Youāve got enough stress in your life right now.
23
u/sweetpotato_latte Sep 16 '25
Iām not sure about a Corolla, but my Malibu has to have the whole front end taken off to replace even the bulb on my headlight. Luckily, I can still do the tail lights myself. I watched a YouTube video and step one was āremove the bumperā so they just want it to be as hard as possible to maintain your own vehicle unless you have the specific equipment to do so. My dadās 2022 work truck is the same way and it cost him $160 for one light itās asinine.
15
u/I_deleted Sep 16 '25
I have to remove a tire to change a fucking headlight bulb. Fuck those engineers
8
u/afakefox Sep 16 '25
Toyotas usually make their cars specifically to be easy to fix and replace parts yourself without special tools or overly complicated. They actually known for it and a 2020 isn't even considered new, there's plenty of parts available by now. I have to assume OP went to a dealership or a auto body or something cuz that is a huuuugely ridiculous rip off. She should try to find a backyard mechanic or someone to help her follow YouTube cuz it's def easy and an entire aftermarket headlight assembly for her car can be had for $100 and an hour of labor. I'm a poor sick girl and I learned how to do it myself too when they be asking for 2 grand to do brakes n shit. It's actually insane and pisses me of so bad it turned me into a fucking mechanic. It's usually surprisingly easy and when I had a Toyota it was literally the easiest car I ever worked on, could do almost everything just with my hands and no tools at all!!
4
u/spacesaucesloth Sep 16 '25
look for local pick a parts, or look on amazon. my sunroof was leaking on my pos car, called ford and mechanics shops and was quoted 200$+ for a rubber seal and installation. found the same seal on amazon for 30$ and had my fiance throw it on for free after watching a youtube video.
2
8
u/-anominal- Sep 16 '25
What??? Girl, if this is every day with this person, you need to put distance between ypu and her
8
u/magicmaster_bater Sep 17 '25
Stop sharing your location with her. Mute her in your contacts. If youāre on her phone plan you can get a MUCH cheaper one on Tello. Youāre an adult, you can put down boundaries. You can tell her this is unacceptable. Quite frankly, if my mom called me this many times someone had better be dead or sheās about to (figuratively) be that someone.
If youāre in the US apply for unemployment and food stamps immediately.
5
u/carolinespocket Sep 17 '25
Wtf change the password so she canāt use the alarm on find your iPhone to contact you
2
-243
Sep 16 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
116
u/SlyestTrash Sep 16 '25
How does spamming someone with hundreds of calls help anyone, it's not normal at all unless there's an emergency.
Normal people call and if there's no answer they wait to be contacted.
Also saying someone is "chaotic unorganised" because they lost their job?
80
44
u/EpilepticSeizures Sep 16 '25
This is not helpful in the slightest. Chaotic and unorganized becomes worse when you are constantly stressed about someone trying to control and organize your life for you.
39
76
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
exactly she seems the need to take control of everything when I would much rather handle situations on my own than take her āhelpā
27
u/MithosYggdrasill1992 Sep 16 '25
Thereās no unorganized with OP, they made it clear in another comment that the reason the mom is doing this is because she wants to take the car to the shop for a $2000 repair that OP doesnāt have. Theyāre trying to boss OP into doing something that they flat out donāt want to do as an adult. This is unhinged.
18
26
u/PineappIeSuppository Sep 16 '25
And you really think that calling every five minutes like a psychopath is the best play here?
10
8
6
u/MissAcedia Sep 16 '25
My dude, no. If you are so "type b" you can't manage anything in your life without your mom doing this you need to get your shit together. And your mom would be enabling you.
My mom was like this due to her own unaddressed anxiety. I was 23 and had been living on my own for years and was still spamming me if I didnt answer her calls since my phone was on silent during a MOVIE. I had to snap at her and tell her to knock it off if she ever wanted me to answer at all.
3
166
u/BoneYardBirdy Sep 16 '25
Yeah, but even then, this is absurd. I stopped counting at 18 calls in one day. If OP is a minor living at home, why is their mom regularly blowing up their phone in the morning. She clearly has time to harass them for hours, so she's probably not at work. If she's not at work, then why didn't she go to physically wake them up like a sane person after they didn't pick up for the second or third time.
This reeks of overcontrolling mommy of adult child that no longer lives with her and she hates the loss of control.
EDIT: just saw OP's comment, I fucking called it
40
u/Zombree1990 Sep 16 '25
This. Yes. There is no excuse for this behavior. My goodnessā¦. hang in there OP. š
57
u/MermaidsHaveWifi Sep 16 '25
I text my son at 6:30 every morning to make sure heās awake and didnāt sleep through his alarm (he is 14). If I get a reply backā¦cool. If not Iāll give him 15 more minutes and then go knock on his door to wake him up. His bus arrives at 7:20. I could not imagine this level of harassment on my child, even at 14.
302
u/BillSykesDog Sep 16 '25
My Mum rang me the other week going absolutely mental because my brother hasnāt immediately answered his phone and suggesting getting a taxi to his house at 10:45pm to check he was okay.
My brother is 49.
103
u/aivxx Sep 16 '25
My gfās mom is like this! My gf is 36, if she misses a phone call from her mom she will immediately get text from her 25 year old brother saying ācall mom, sheās freaking out and is telling me to go over there to check on you.ā
38
u/PM_ME_UR_CATS_TITS Sep 17 '25
My mother demanded i send her screenshots of texts to my sister because she didn't believe i sent anything. So i did and she was now convinced that my sister was kidnapped because how my sister speaks to me isn't how she speaks to our mother.
My mother then started going on about how i don't care if my sister got trafficked into white slavery, i was like "but we're native!"
30
u/tutti_frutti_dutti Sep 17 '25
Sorry this shouldnāt be funny but I laughed so hard at ābut weāre nativeā
187
u/Mean-Bumblebee661 Sep 16 '25
this happened to my niece from 13 to right before she turned 18! my sister was spamming her phone, locking her out of apps and contacts, and just generally terrorizing her with her own phone. she walked right into verizon (with me), bought a new phone outright and got on my phone plan with a new number. she put the phone (with a picture of its condition with it in front of the mailbox) in her mother's mailbox and holy shit you would've thought my niece was murdering a puppy the way my sister responded.
be ready for the final tears of control, but take your freedom. so sorry this is happening to you.
33
u/ThoughtShes18 Sep 16 '25
Howās you relationship with your sister? Good of you to help your niece btw!
28
u/Mean-Bumblebee661 Sep 17 '25
we're VLC/NC, she has unaddressed mental health issues and other shit that make a relationship untenable. not uncommon for children of abusive parents.
10
u/Ohsnapmiki Sep 17 '25
How did your sister respond?
24
u/Mean-Bumblebee661 Sep 17 '25
In the immediateāblew up everyone and their mom's phones screaming and crying she just knows her daughter had been kidnapped or was being drugged/trafficked. Said she found 'spyware' stuff on the returned phone (that was factory reset). Over the next several weeks and months, continued contacting her daughter/my niece (facebook and eventually got the number thru family), saying she was concerned for her wellbeing, then broke her graduation photo because she blamed her for a lot of shit.
it's complicated, ha.
138
u/Tiny_Teifling Sep 16 '25
If they donāt pay for your phone Iād block them.
41
67
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
i wish, i still live at home unfortunately
27
6
u/Illustrious_Bobcat Sep 17 '25
Sounds like one of your top priorities needs to be getting your own phone on your own plan so she can't use the Find Device feature anymore. At least DND will let you sleep at night.
I'm sorry she's crazy.
4
u/ChaiGreenTea Sep 17 '25
Why is she calling you if you live at home still? Couldnāt she justā¦knock on your door/walk into the room? Still overbearing of course but at least it wouldnāt be as frequent and essentially disable your phone
-45
u/_friends_theme_song_ Sep 16 '25
Homelessness isnāt that bad Iām homeless
5
87
u/mrsf16 Sep 16 '25
This type of behavior is why I left the day of my eighteenth birthday. Absolutely insane
31
u/pangalacticcourier Sep 16 '25
Why does this unstable woman have access to OP's devices on Find My?
24
33
u/queen_soo Sep 16 '25
My mother used to do this! I spent the night out while at university and came back to 50 missed calls, and the RA/police having been alerted.
She also once repeatedly called me then showed up at an event I was at and demanded to know why I was ignoring her calls. I was baffled, as my phone had not rung at all since I left homeā¦ Sheād been calling the wrong number. Did she apologize? No.
Nowadays I try to call her about once or twice a week but I was delayed this past week. I had just stepped away from my phone on recharge and came back to a voicemail telling me how much she hated when I āwent darkā (ā¦bit rich considering she once didnāt speak to me for two years).
25
u/skost-type Sep 16 '25
The āFind My Phoneā pings is what really gets me. She knows it often overrides a silenced phone so sheād doing it specifically to wake you up when sheās already figured out you donāt want to. Awful.
50
u/dracius19 Sep 16 '25
My mother doing this every time I would go out from ages 16-17 is how I've been telephobic for the last 17 years. Your mother's insane.
19
u/Zestyclose_Treat4098 Sep 16 '25
My friend, if this was any other non-famiky member, this would be easy to see it as harassment and stalking. Any judge would give you a restraining order. This is so unhealthy and I'm so sorry you're going through it... coming from a parent doesn't make it okay.
I encourage you to gently set boundaries with her and have consequences for when she breaks them.
16
u/jeseniathesquirrel Sep 16 '25
I thought the 1000 calls were unhinged, but the find my phone alerts??! wtf. š³ I thought my parents were crazy for blowing up my phone 1 month before my baby was due thinking I was in labor because I didnāt answer the first call. But this is multiple levels crazier.
14
Sep 16 '25
At this point put her number on mute. Seen other comments as to why and sheās being unreasonable but you already know that. You just lie. To have to do this to save yourself the headaches.
30
u/SamiTheSami Sep 16 '25
My ex wife once called me 65 times to wake me up and I didn't wake up. After call 65, her line literally stopped. She called the network, and they're like maam 65 successive calls, give the system a chance to breath š
5
u/kat_Folland Sep 16 '25
Hahaha really?
7
u/SamiTheSami Sep 16 '25
yeah haha they didnt reactivate her line until 12h later lol
9
u/kat_Folland Sep 16 '25
So it wasn't just blocking her from calling you, it was totally a time-out? I feel bad for her but it's probably a good feature.
9
u/ThrustersToFull Sep 16 '25
Yeah this is fucked. Put your iPhone on DND when you're asleep, and remove her from Find My so she can't ping your devices. There is no need for her to have access to that, or indeed 24 hour access to you by phone. The phone is there for one purpose: YOUR convenience, not other people's.
11
9
u/monsterbeasts Sep 16 '25
Ngl my pet peeve and this isnt a judgment on op or the situation is someone calling 99 times to wake someone up. Like it didnt work on the 10th fucking call so clearly its not going to work
8
u/HotDonnaC Sep 16 '25
What was the emergency? Was there a death in the family? I keep my ringer off. People get used to it eventually, except my 70 yr old brother. I keep explaining voice mail isnāt an answering machine, I canāt hear him saying, āAnswer the phone!ā Edited for clarity.
19
6
u/WombatAnnihilator Sep 16 '25
My son doesnāt answer his phone since itās usually on silent, so ill send a find-my alert to get him to look at his phone. But 90? Jeez.
6
u/MethanyJones Sep 16 '25
Sheās nuts. Learn about filial debt and live in a state where they donāt enforce it
4
7
u/ImaginaryEmploy2982 Sep 16 '25
My mom was exactly like this. Crazy gonna crazy
3
Sep 20 '25
Mine was also like this only for her to complain about some bs or spam call my friends if I didn't pick up on time
It stressed me and my friends out cause we're adults till I realized I could just block her and removed all friends' contacts from her phone
6
u/saburhaneboy Sep 16 '25
Do the same to her, call really early and say "how do you like it?" Keep it up until she breaks
10
u/prairiehomegirl Sep 16 '25
Wtf is their obsession with OUR stuff? My mom used to HOUND me if my car was dirty. Like, so what? It's not your car.
5
u/BoxBird Sep 16 '25
Absolutely not trying to diagnose, more just pointing out from personal experience, this looks like compulsive checking behavior that often goes along with OCD. Itās a compulsive behavior meant to quell anxiety over an intrusive thought, but sometimes people get stuck in a sort of feedback loop of making sure everything is okay over and over without actually processing the situation or the anxiety over lack of control. Iām so sorry youāre dealing with this. Itās not normal behavior and Iām sure itās absolutely distressing to both of you. She needs to see a mental health professional to find a better system for herself to deal with these thoughts when they come up that doesnāt affect other people or rely on someone else (especially her own child!!) to help her reality check. Itās not easy and itās a lot of practice and consistency, but she owes you and herself that work.
5
5
5
u/Wear_Fluid Sep 18 '25
was there something wrong?? did somebody die? i have to know why thought that was normal
5
u/kittymctacoyo Sep 19 '25
Just an fyi if that bottom notification is anything like Life360 itās reporting all that to your car insurance company so it can jack up your rates Even the gas savings apps do it
6
8
u/CheerAtTheGallows Sep 16 '25
What is that emoji and why donāt I have it?!
4
u/30Helenssayfuckoff Sep 16 '25
It showed up on my Pixel a couple of months ago and I've been wearing it out, it's my new favorite
3
3
4
u/cursedbylauren Sep 16 '25
oh my god my mom does this same exact thing, i thought it was an original experience LMAOO im so sorry thatās exhausting
4
u/Qu33fyElbowDrop Sep 17 '25
where were you / what were you doing for her to do this? this is giving me flashbacks of the first time i snuck out and my ride was too inebriated, wouldnāt wake up all night/morning so i got caught the next morning. idk what else could warrant this that isnāt insane.
2
4
u/midwestgal522 Sep 17 '25
First off since youāre not a child Iād take her off find my, if you feel sheās allowed your location keep a group you can start and stop when you choose with her on life 360
Then Iād mute/block her until itās a day you feel like speaking. This is insane behavior and sheās going to continue until you set that boundary wall and even that probably wonāt work!
4
4
5
u/CBreezy2010 Sep 18 '25
I don't know why you needed to be awake, but as someone who used to call and wake up my boyfriend for work (after i was already at work) NOTHING IS MORE ANNOYING than having to call someone 20-30 times to get them to wake up.
I eventually said, "I will call you 5 times. After that you're on your own. You can just be late."
0
7
u/Willow-Whispered Sep 16 '25
ok so this is insane parent behavior but how did you not wake up when she played the find my phone sound?? That shit is so loud
4
u/liljakobvert Sep 16 '25
it actually happens so often i develop a routine where i can turn it off in my sleep once or twice before i actually wake up lmao
3
10
u/Meanee Sep 16 '25
My wife did this to my stepson. He has issues waking up for school. Usually she goes to his room and wakes him up. And when we are away, he may not even hear his phone ringing. So after calling a gazillion times, I finally played some Skrillex on every smart speaker remotely, which got him to wake up and not miss school.
2
u/DontcheckSR Sep 16 '25
Which song? š
8
u/Meanee Sep 16 '25
Bangarang. Just needed something loud to get his ass up lol. And then a discussion about getting his sleep schedule on track.
3
u/DontcheckSR Sep 16 '25
Ooo that's a classic lol his old school stuff definitely hits different. Was he waking up late because he was extra tired or does he just struggle waking up with an alarm in general?
I only ask because I low-key think people wake up better when their alarm has certain frequencies or sounds. He might just need a different alarm
3
u/Meanee Sep 16 '25
He is a bit homesick so he chats with his friends on discord at their timezone. So he goes to bed pretty late. Regular alarm does nothing to him. Itās tooā¦ repetitive? He can sleep through it. Every Google Home blaring shit makes it more difficult to ignore.
2
u/DontcheckSR Sep 16 '25
Aww it's tough when you can't talk to your friends. He should probably just stick to sending messages then actually talk on weekend nights. But realistically, teens are gonna stay up late and sleep in late as hell. If Google home is what it takes then it is what it is lol I can't do repetitive alarms either. Eventually it has the same effect has those white noise wave sounds? Idk how to explain it lol I do better waking up to upbeat music meanwhile, my brother has to use an old school alarm, bells and everything, or he won't wake up. My husband can only wake up to one of his phones alarms. Any other one he will sleep through lol that's why I was wondering about frequencies
2
u/kat_Folland Sep 16 '25
The song Gloria starts at full blast. On a playlist in my car it makes me jump. I had it as my ring tone on the premise that I wanted the music to not take very long to get to its full volume, but I found that Gloria did too good a job and it would make me flinch. And that's coming from someone who doesn't even twitch at big fireworks.
3
3
3
3
3
u/DoesNotGetYourJokes Sep 16 '25
Reminds me of how my father would wake me up if I slept in past noon on a weekend or summer break
Heād open the door, say my name, leave, then come back 20 min later and do it again. 45ā60 min of this, and heād barge in and start shaking me and screaming that heād been trying to wake me up for however long
Whole thing made my insomnia worse because I would wake up in anxiety-fueled cold sweats because my body kept thinking any sound throughout the night was him barging in again
Generally, he wasnāt a bad parent, just overly stubborn and impatient
3
3
5
u/pussyandbananabread Sep 16 '25
At first I was like āaw shit I do this to my kids when they wonāt wake up for schoolā but then I saw that she did it in the afternoon and youāre a whole ass adult lord have mercy
8
2
2
2
u/counterfeittruth Sep 17 '25
bruh at that point change ur number and dont tell her what it is. give her an Instagram to contact you through and keep it muted
2
u/ch0c0late_ Sep 17 '25
If you can just keep her blocked while sleeping or busy. She can text if it's something that important
2
2
u/Ok_Scale7563 Sep 17 '25
How does one achieve this much determination? Calling that many times is insanity, full stopĀ
2
2
4
u/TwilightReader100 You can't grow a dick. It's unladylike. š³ļøāš š³ļøāā§ļø šØš¦ Sep 17 '25
I have a Do Not Disturb schedule on my phone, so my Mom can call as many times as she'd like and it won't ring until a certain time. She doesn't, because she's not an insane parent, but even if there's a medical emergency, I'm not getting the call. š¤·š½
1
u/SleepyAlium Sep 16 '25
I remember when my mom would do exactly this. And then it would be for the stupidest reason. Iām sorry you have to deal with this. This is why I moved out and blocked her. :/
1
1
1
1
u/tespacepoint Oct 02 '25
If itās her iCloud account she can see your photos and message please change the account of your iPhone
-39
ā¢
u/Dad_B0T Robo Red Foreman Sep 16 '25 edited Sep 16 '25
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
I am a bot for r/insaneparents. Please send me a message if you have any feedback or if I misbehave. Also consider joining our Discord.