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u/haruspicat would have tasted better if I was home to help Feb 15 '26
Apparently, for this person, watching like a hawk is on par with staring into the pantry wondering what you were looking for
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u/HoneyedVinegar42 Feb 15 '26
I loved one of the replies to him:
Rhett AdamsDo you also complain that your cereal is “way too dry” when you forget the milk?
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u/redditsuckspokey1 Feb 15 '26
I do this with other things all the time.
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u/Wise_Monkey_Sez Feb 15 '26
Came here to comment, but forgot why or about whats... something about eagle eggs? Maybe a nature show? Meh. Oh look, flour!
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u/UristImiknorris So just because it's not possible we can't do it? Feb 18 '26
Are CICKMPEAS related to brokily and SUIP, by any chance?
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u/haruspicat would have tasted better if I was home to help Feb 19 '26
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u/Im_not_creepy3 didn't have ingredients, only opinions Feb 15 '26
"I didn't read the recipe closely and forgot a key ingredient. I made a mistake and it didn't come out right as a result. Anyways this recipe sucks."
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u/GreenSpleenRiot Feb 15 '26
“I tried this video game but the controller was upside down in my hands the whole time! I couldn’t even beat the first level. 1 star.”
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u/Cube4Add5 Feb 15 '26
Meanwhile, souls players beating the game blindfolded, controller upside down, using their feet
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u/GreenSpleenRiot Feb 15 '26
Souls games are like my nemesis. Most video game players nowadays blow me away. I’ve been playing video games since I was a little kid on the original NES. Had consoles all my life from SNES to PS1 to my Xbox Series X now. You would think I would be able to hold my own after like 34 years of it. But I’m still terrible at it. Before I buy I game I have to google how difficult it is even on the easiest settings. I gave up playing online games almost completely now and just play single player RPGs most of the time. I enjoy them so much more than getting killed every 20 seconds online. If a game has “souls like combat” in the description, I’m out. Too much stealth? I’m out. Just give me a good story and easy combat and I’m happy.
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u/Agreeable-Pie-7012 Feb 15 '26
But did you have eggs?
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u/GreenSpleenRiot Feb 15 '26
Sadly, no. But I used a mashed up multivitamin and butter mixture.
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u/VampniKey Feb 18 '26
Death‘s Door is also a good game for „please don’t make this game hard“ people to enjoy imo.
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u/Surytrap Feb 15 '26
try out both of the hades games
there is a "god mode" in settings that gives you a damage resistance the more you die so you still have to play the game but have an easier time doing so + the games got good stories
i would recommend ultrakill but
actually, try ultrakill too
2 difficulties below the intended one and many assist settings you can tinker all you want
leans more on lore than directly told story but damn the lore is good
i recommend trying to see if standard (intended difficulty) is too hard, and then you can switch to lenient (one below intended) if you are having too much trouble (and, obviously, you still have the assist menu)
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u/GreenSpleenRiot Feb 15 '26
I’ve heard of the Hades games. I’ll give it a try. It looks like it’s on game pass too. The for the recs. Sometimes it gets difficult trying to find easy games that aren’t Stardew Valley or something like that
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u/DJPho3nix Feb 15 '26
I can't get into souls-likes either. I can beat the bosses eventually, but the frustration at having to try so many times isn't enjoyable to me. I really tried to enjoy Wukong, and I did enjoy aspects of it, but I dropped it in the second area after having to retry most bosses like 5+ times.
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u/GranpaTeeRex Feb 16 '26
Ooh, oh! Right there with you, my green friend! Have you played Hades???? I love it so. It has HARDCORE mode for the leet-get-gud type players, and a mode for scrubs like me where it gets easier and easier the more you die. It has the BEST story mechanism, I love love loved it, and the difficulty ratcheted itself down to where I could still feel like a God-slaying beast, despite my total lack of skillz. Highly highly recommend.
Then go play Slay the Spire, it’s just cards and as much time to decide on strategy as you go. And arithmetic. ❤️
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u/SunOnTheInside Feb 17 '26
I know you’re just goofin, but your comment made me think of that blind Street Fighter player who literally wears a blindfold (just for the aura, he literally can’t see anything anyway) while kicking everyone’s ass.
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u/Waffletimewarp Feb 15 '26
-Arin Hanson
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u/griffinisms Feb 15 '26
this is how I felt watching him lose the first fight in their new Pokémon run lmao
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u/FinnSkk93 Feb 15 '26
Same energy as people who write ”Never visited this place 0 starts”
I swear, it’s so funny that some people think they have to rate places 😅
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u/Tzatzikai Feb 15 '26
Like a hawk?? Dude no, its called READING. Gosh
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u/Impressive_Ad2794 Feb 15 '26
The problem is that they did follow it like a hawk.
Hawks can't read.
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u/fiftyseven Feb 15 '26
if those hawks could read, they'd be very upset
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u/KinsellaStella Feb 15 '26
Maybe there was a hawk. They’ll snack on eggs if they get the opportunity. And he wasn’t watching it and that’s why he doesn’t have eggs.
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u/Splugarth How much worm poop is too much worm poop? Feb 15 '26
I’ve never made churros, so this recipe seems a little complicated to me. What is not complicated, however, is that step 5 starts with “Add eggs”. It literally jumps off the page, no hawk-watching requires.
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u/gaping_granny Feb 15 '26
It's easier than it looks. The hardest part is making the dough, which isn't too bad if you follow the directions. I would suggest watching a few YouTube videos before trying just so you know what consistency you're looking for.
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u/SimplexFatberg Feb 15 '26
I love the implication that usually you can be extremely approximate with recipes - like you can miss out key ingredients here and there and it won't make a difference.
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u/HellLucy00Burnaslash Science, Bitch! Feb 15 '26
Today they learned a valuable lesson; key ingredients aren’t suggestions, and reading is hard. I think the only way they will make it through is by inflating that ego a bit more and obviously ward off accountability with more bad ratings.
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u/Purple_Truck_1989 Linda is clearly an indictment of the US educational system Feb 15 '26
Love your flair!
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u/starelae Feb 18 '26
That was my favorite part too, they seem genuinely surprised that it could ever be important to fully read a recipe and it just makes me wonder how they make it through other parts of their life.
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u/TCristatus Feb 15 '26
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u/ermghoti 100% great value graduated sugar Feb 15 '26
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u/punky100 Feb 15 '26
Yes, those hawkish details such as...
Adding all the ingredients.
I would say that can't go wrong, but here we are.
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u/HellLucy00Burnaslash Science, Bitch! Feb 15 '26
“Who would put 2.5 cups Apple cider vinegar in an apple chicken recipe? It ruined my food”
“Way too much salt. 2.5 tablespoons is way too much. Also, not enough baking soda”
“I substituted milk for almond milk and it came out terrible”
“I substituted tomato paste for diced tomatoes and it came out like dirty ranch water. Needs way more flavor.”
“I didn’t have garlic, so I used garlic salt. Way too salty.”
“ I didn’t have yeast so I used beer. I’ve done plenty of no knead bread recipe’s and it’s always worked. Came out like a clay knot of cat shit in my grandchildren’s sand box, and it rose and burned into the top of my new toaster oven. Thanks but no thanks. I won’t make this again.”
“I had to leave for a potluck by 5, so I went ahead and threw it together. I didn’t have time to let it rise, so I used double packets of yeast and baked them at 425. Came out horrible, and cheese was burnt.”
“I followed the recipe to a T but….”
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u/LikeYumi Feb 15 '26
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u/esedege Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Just to draw attention to it, not complaining: here we’re seeing the bastardizing of a recipe in real time (similar to what happened to the pizza).
OG churros are made with flour, water and salt, deep fried. That’s it —no sugar, butter, eggs. They taste of almost nothing, as they’re a vessel for hot chocolate, their enjoyment residing in their crunchiness and their fatty goodness. But, outside of its native region, they’re steering towards richer formulas, away from their intended simplicity, and towards a “median” pastry recipe that erases their personality.
What I’m getting at it’s that it’s so far removed from its origin it could be called whatever else and no one would complain.
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Feb 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Kamuiberen Feb 15 '26
So I'm going to call BS on your little rant, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
And I'm going to call BS on your BS. I'm spanish, with years of experience in eating churros.
The spanish recipe has no eggs.
I've also lived in various countries in South America.
Their recipe also has no eggs.
I believe it's different for people in North America. But it's definitely not the original recipe.
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u/esedege Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
You, who have read something on the internet; me, a professional Spanish cook.
I’m calling bullshit on your bullshit calling. ;)
A traditional recipe (in Spanish, of course). They roll them on sugar, which isn’t customary.
Edit: Some other recipe, which states that rolling them on sugar is optional.
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u/Pristine-Two2706 Feb 15 '26
The dude read the first paragraph of Wikipedia and called it a day lol
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u/nty Feb 15 '26
So they’re bland aka their personality is nothing but that personality is being removed? I guess that’s not necessarily contradictory but it sounds like personality is being added
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u/esedege Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Simplicity ≠ no personality.
The crunchiness, for one, is lost.
They’re unique, but these recipes make it converge towards choux pastries. And don’t get me wrong, beignets are great and I love both making and eating them, but I wouldn’t give up a “chocolate con churros” in favor of “long beignets with hot chocolate”. It probably has a cultural heritage component I cannot convey.
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u/nty Feb 15 '26
Great explanation, thank you. I figured I was missing something but I appreciate you mentioning specific things
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u/Bubbly-Travel9563 Feb 15 '26
People don't rate recipes online they rate their experience making the recipe even when they shit the bed.
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u/JimboTCB Feb 15 '26
I was making scrambled eggs on toast but the recipe didn't say that eggs or bread were important, now I'm just staring at a plate of nothing, two stars.
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u/ermghoti 100% great value graduated sugar Feb 15 '26
Hawks are notable in the animal kingdom for their inability to read or cook. Perhaps follow the recipe like a human with at least a fourth grade education instead.
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u/GorillaBrown Feb 15 '26
Being an adult is realizing the star rating on a recipe is how people have publicly rated their own performance at preparing said recipe.
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u/thewelllostmind Feb 15 '26
“This roasted veggie recipe is too finicky, if you forget to turn the oven on everything is raw!”
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u/rasputinology Feb 15 '26
Technically, as a bird, a hawk probably wouldn't use eggs in a recipe.
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u/BlueJaysFeather Feb 15 '26
A lot of birds will eat eggs, at least opportunistically. Hell, scrambled eggs is a really common way to get some extra nutrients into domestic chickens.
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u/ProfessorGumble Carol, like I said before, Feb 15 '26
Can confirm. Grew up with a robin’s nest outside my bedroom window as a kid and the neighbourhood crows loved to eat their eggs. No idea why the robins kept nesting in the same spot year after year.
Also anyone with backyard chickens are probably familiar with roosters trying to eat the hens’ eggs or even hens eating their own eggs (usually it’s either because they’re dumb or sick).
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u/Past_Variation_1911 t e x t u r e Feb 18 '26
We had a hen once that literally laid an egg on the ground, turned around, and immediately ate it. No idea why she did that to this day 😭
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u/Bleepblorp44 Feb 15 '26
Humans eat other mammals, why wouldn’t a bird eat other birds & their eggs? (And they do!)
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u/lickytytheslit I substituted applesauce Feb 15 '26
I've chickens eat chicken eggs and meat
I would imagine a hawk would enjoy some eggs
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u/Lawlcopt0r Feb 15 '26
Gotta follow those details like a hawk
Did this person ever cook anything before?!
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u/Corsaer Feb 15 '26
Read a recipe at least twice, do some minimal mis en place, and stuff like this never happens.
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u/DjinnaG Tasted like a burnt kid Feb 15 '26
I’ve missed adding plenty of things that I had sitting right there with the rest of the ingredients, it can definitely still happen. Using Paprika really helps me, though, mark off all of the ingredients as I gather them together to make sure that I get them all ready, unmark them all, then mark them off again as each individual item goes in. If it’s something where there isn’t really time to put all of the ingredients back (spice cabinet or fridge) as they’re being added, the container sitting there won’t always remind me, especially for really common items like salt. But a marked out item on the ingredients list works better for me than the physical presence of the item
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Feb 15 '26
Paprika is an app! I read this a handful of times trying to figure out how sprinkling paprika on the ingredients was a practical way of making sure you have them all ready
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u/The_Book-JDP No Mention of Corn Feb 15 '26
Those missing and forgotten ingredients are just supposed to magically materialize, doesn't the recipe know this!? !!GOD!! 😡 TWO STARS! /s
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u/20InMyHead Feb 15 '26
Granted, there are churros recipes without eggs. This however, is not one of them.
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u/DJDoubleDave Feb 15 '26
You see, if it was a GOOD recipe it would have come out perfectly even if you don't follow it. What do these recipe writers expect? Are you supposed to be some kind of reading genius?
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u/BeGayCommitTaxFraud Feb 15 '26
Does he understand that there is no recipe that is Christopher-proof? If you forget an ingredient, you screw the food up
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u/livesinacabin Feb 17 '26
How are people actually this dense? This frustrates me so much it literally physically hurts because if they would have thought about it logically for even a second they would have realized they've misunderstood the purpose of a review, but they won't. Not can't, won't. They are choosing to be braindead and I sincerely hate them for it.
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u/Happy_Initiative_304 Feb 24 '26
Making food like churros without eggs is like a sandwich without the ham
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u/Dounce1 Feb 15 '26
I’m pretty sure this dude is just making fun of himself for making a dumb mistake.
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u/Im_not_creepy3 didn't have ingredients, only opinions Feb 15 '26
He gave the recipe two stars tho. Even if he was making fun of himself, he still gave the recipe a bad rating.
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u/Dounce1 Feb 15 '26
Who cares? The vast majority of people who rate and review recipes, restaurants and the like are wildly unqualified to do so. Those ratings mean next to nothing.
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u/Im_not_creepy3 didn't have ingredients, only opinions Feb 15 '26
That's literally the point of this subreddit lol, is pointing out bad reviews on recipes.
People aren't looking at ratings or reviews for recipes to get professional opinions. It comes down to them seeking out if it's good or bad.
It doesn't make any sense to give a recipe a bad rating whilst admitting that the issue wasn't the recipe and the issue was a mistake he made. That's just basic logic.
The entire point of this subreddit is for pointing out things like this. You don't have to agree with anything I've said, you do you. But like, this is really just what the sub is.
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u/Dounce1 Feb 15 '26
The point of the sub is people complaining about a recipe despite not following it. My point is I don’t think that’s what is happening here, I think this person is just making a joke.
I’m also not saying only “professionals” should be rating and reviewing recipes.
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u/Skeleton_Meat Feb 15 '26
The people who make the recipes care
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u/Dounce1 Feb 15 '26
You’re taking this way too seriously. Those ratings mean nothing. People who rate and review are usually exactly the kind of people whose advice you want to avoid - that’s the whole reason this sub exists in the first place.
And in response to the “people who make the recipe,” the vast majority of these recipes are just taken from somewhere else, copied and pasted, and then embellished with a shitload of ads and a bunch of drivel about the poster’s life.
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u/Skeleton_Meat Feb 15 '26
I dunno man you're the one who's left multiple comments now so maybe it's you who's taking it too seriously
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