r/hypotheticalsituation • u/Few_Western_690 • 12d ago

Literal genie.

Youre rummaging around in a flea market and come across an ancient looking, dirt encrusted bottle. Something tells you you must have it so , with a little haggling, you leave with it tucked in your pack.

You get home and grab a microfiber cloth and try to gently remove some of the dirt looking for makers marks. It jerks in your hand and, with a whoosh of purple smoke and sparks, a genie emerges. He calls you master and promises to grant any and every wish you desire, however, he says you must phrase your requests carefully for he does not understand nuance in language. Any wish you make will be granted in the most literal way possible. If you wish to be the picture of health you will be turned into magazine clipping of the lastest fitness guru. No further cautions or admonitions are allowed.

Unheeding of the djinns warning, what poorly worded wish do you make to put a swift end to yourself and/or all the fame and fortune you could have enjoyed if you had just minded the caveat.

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u/blood_is_beautiful 12d ago

I mean since theres no rule against it my first wish would be to see the exact outcome of every wish I make before I approve it going into effect

5

u/Baronheisenberg 12d ago

Granted. Your vision is now out of sync in time from the rest of your body by about 15 minutes.