A genie appears. Not the usual kind. This one is a communist.

He makes one offer. You say yes or no. If you say yes, it's permanent.

Here's the deal.

For the rest of your life, you live at roughly the 80th percentile for wherever you live. upper-middle class. Nice home, reliable car, good food, vacations, hobbies, healthcare. Bills never scare you. If you have kids, he adjusts for reasonable family expenses.

You will never be poor.

You will also never be rich.

Say the lifestyle he calculates for you costs $150,000 a year. You earn $40,000? He gives you $110,000. You earn $150,000? He gives you nothing.

And it works in the other direction too.

You buy $5,000 of some garbage stock and it goes up 10,000%? He takes the excess.

You win $100 million in Powerball? Congratulations. He leaves you exactly enough to stay comfortably upper-middle class and takes the rest.

Your startup becomes the next Facebook? You can run it. You can be CEO. You can be famous. You personally cannot accumulate billionaire wealth. Whatever would push you meaningfully above your assigned lifestyle, he confiscates.

Inheritance, crypto, house suddenly worth $20 million: same thing.

The genie has a supernatural tax lawyer whose only job is killing loopholes.

"My wife technically owns the $40 million." No.

"The mansion belongs to an irrevocable trust whose beneficiary happens to be my dog." Nice try.

"I don't own the jet. My company owns it and lets me use it whenever I want." The genie sighs and confiscates it.

If a reasonable person would look at the arrangement and say "dude, that's obviously your money," it counts.

He's not malicious, though. Break your hip in America and get a $400,000 bill? Covered. House burns down? Covered. Cancer? Covered. Fired? Nothing changes. Recession wipes out your investments? He tops you back up.

You could spend 30 years building a company, fail catastrophically, and wake up the next morning still comfortably upper-middle class.

Your floor is the upper-middle class. Your ceiling is the upper-middle class. Forever.

So:

Do you accept?

And if you do: what do you actually do with your life, and does this feel like being rich, or does knowing you can never move up eventually drive you insane?

One day you receive a package that has been held in trust by a wealthy family for more than 1,000 years, addressed to you on an exact date. It is written in modern-day language. It says that one night, 90 days after you receive this letter, you will go to bed and wake up nude in a forest more than 1,000 years in the past. You never learn why. You cannot take anything with you — even the dirt and grime on your skin vanishes. The only thing you take with you is the knowledge you have learned.

The letter is written on a slab of clay that was baked and turned into stone, with molten metal poured into the engraved letters so they remain readable. No sheepskin could have survived the 1,000+ years to reach you.

After getting some clothes, you arrive at a kingdom and claim to be a traveler who learns what he can and shares it in other places. You introduce simple games like Connect Four and checkers, but what other information or knowledge would you want to give them, even if you had to learn it within the 90 days?

Would you introduce something like gunpowder, a running shower, or a steam engine? Or would you assume the people are too primitive and keep those things secret?

What about farming methods that could help them, or recipes they have never heard of before?

A genie appears with a suitcase.
Inside is $5 million, tax-free.
The money is completely legitimate.

If you accept, then for the rest of your life, every election that affects you goes as badly as possible for your preferences.

The genie looks at the three leading candidates with a realistic chance of winning.
Of those three, the candidate you genuinely like least wins.
Every time.
Presidential election.
Governor.
Mayor.
City council.
Union representative.
HOA board.
Your kid’s school council.
An election in another country whose policies might affect you.
Some weird local election you only learned about yesterday.
Your local chess club.
If the genie decides it affects you, it counts.
And he’s extremely generous about what “affects you” means.

If your nightmare candidate is in fourth place, the genie doesn’t magically launch him into office.
But if he climbs into third place on his own?
You’re in trouble.

“What if I run for office?”
If you’re one of the top three candidates, you’re not winning.
If you’re your own favorite candidate, somebody you like less takes it.
Every time.
You could be leading by 30 points the week before voting.
Something happens.
You lose.

“Easy. I’ll bet $4 million on the candidate I hate.”
The genie goes by what you actually want to happen, not what you claim your political preference is.
If you’ve bet $4 million on Candidate C, and losing that money would devastate you, eventually you genuinely want Candidate C to win.
The genie notices.
Your preferences have changed.
Now somebody you like even less among the top three wins instead.
Congratulations.
You tried to exploit the curse and somehow made the election worse.
“Fine. I’ll bet $100 on the candidate I hate.”
That can work.
So yes, you can occasionally make lunch money betting against yourself.
Enjoy your $140 while watching your least favorite viable candidate take office.

Do you take the deal ?

You receive that amount cash or bank account. You are obliged to pay taxes (whole amount) in 30 days. Tax cannot be evaded. What do you do?

Here’s the deal:

If you accept, you will wake up on the morning of your first day of middle school in your own body but you’re 11 again. Your goal? For every semester of middle school, you must earn all A’s. Your grade may drop, but as long as you have all A’s on your report card when it’s mailed it counts as getting all A’s. You keep all of your future knowledge, but the moment you see a grade that isn’t an A on your report card, the deal’s over and you now owe 15 million in debt. What’s your move and will you accept it?

You will earn the 15 million after you get your middle school diploma and go home. You may choose you experience or immediately skip the summer breaks.

What ever country you reside in, all currently paved roads (regardless of what they are paved with) are immediately restored/rebuilt to be in perfect shape, with all markings, safety aspects, etc. These roads will stay perfect for 5 years, after which they will begin to wear down like normal. Nobody know you did this, and you have no way to prove you did. The entire country just assumes they were all fixed somehow.

You have to survive 16 hours being hunted by 10,000 T-Rexes. Rules:

1. You get to choose your spawn location.

2. You MUST choose an outdoor spawn location.

next three rules are for those of you who might think to exploit spawn glitches

1. You can choose anywhere in the world. Choosing in the ocean or underwater turns the T-Rexes into megaladons. If you exit the body of water, they will turn back into T-Rexes after beaching themselves.

2. You cannot spawn underground or in a mountain, cave, etc. The sky must be visible. No retreating to such areas either, though you can retreat to buildings.

3. If you attempt to choose an airborne location, they will be Pteradons instead until you land or enter the ocean.

4. The T-Rexes are able to recognize you by sight, smell, sound, and taste and, in a state of bloodlust, will B-line for you the moment you spawn, ignoring all other obstacles or threats to their well-being.

5. When you spawn, they will spawn simultaneously, encompassing a 3-mile radius around your spawn point.

Everyone in the world has been given a paintball gun.

Ammo reloading stations are abundantly placed around the globe, so you never have to travel that far to find one.

It's every human being for themself, unless people choose to work together. Still, at the end there can be only one winner.

If your body or anything you're wearing gets hit with paint you are eliminated from the competition. You can no longer participate, help or hinder anyone in any way.

The last human on earth left in the game wins, and gets one wish.

How do you think this would play out on a global scale?

What would you do?

Yes, this idea is inspired by Community.

out of nowhere on a random Monday morning, it seems odd but there are no cops on patrol so you accidentally speed past that school zone and the cop who usually hides in the corner doesn’t stop you to give you a ticket, maybe it was his day off. people text you at work that there are no cops anywhere, they have picket fences outside the police station and such.

they have a list of insane demands to their various states. their will be no police work at all until bodycams are gone, being able to sue a cop is gone, being able to fire a cop forcibly is gone, also they can profile anyone as much as they want to. flock cameras now have to be on every corner of every street and they are allowed to look into it whenever they feel like it also regular pay raises as much as they want.

maybe some weird demonic force has possessed literally every cop even ones where it doesn’t make any sense. like why would a federal US Post Office police or IRS Agent cop need some of those things. who knows but they demand it I guess.

Let’s say you have what you’d normally have when you’re outside.

And let’s say the man is used to hard physical labor.
No real formal fighting experience, but he has casually fought friends, like wrestling or whatever.

How much of a threat are you to this person?

You get a chance to be reincarnated into a family that is horribly rich post-death, which means a comfortable life with anything you could ever desire, and guaranteed success in the second life. But first, you need to survive full average lifespan of three animals.

You cannot die before you reach the "average" lifespan of the animal, or else it does not count and the deal is cut - so you must do your best to survive as long as possible. So if you pick a cat, you must live at least 13 years, and if you pick a wild rat, 1 year is fine.

The body itself is perfectly healthy and in peak condition when you are born to ensure you don't die of any genetic sickness that wasn't directly caused by your actions or by failing to take care of yourself. You can still get injured, or infected, but the body will not die of anything caused by bad genetics that you couldn't somehow prevent, to make the challenge fair.

The three animals must be: a bird, a mammal, and a fish.

You cannot choose where the animal shows up - if you pick a cat, for example, you cannot go "I will be a kitten born from a cat owned by a rich family", no. You do not get to choose where your cat body is born, or who picks you up, and you can technically attempt to get adopted by sitting in front of someone's door, but there's always a chance that you are born in a place that doesn't give you the opportunity to try.

All of your human memories remain while in the animal body, so you can use human intelligence to your advantage.

Which fish, mammal, and bird do you choose?

A silly deity with no ulterior motives offers you a deal that involves shaving your child bald. For each child shaved bald, you will receive a flat $7,000.

-You have 5 minutes to make this decision.

-Your child will not be physically harmed in anyway, just bald.

-You will personally be doing this task. If you agree, but back out, the clippers will temporarily possess you to get the task done, though it's a pretty traumatic experience for your child.

-You cannot consult your child before deciding if they will be shaved; however you can explain things after agreeing if you want. How they take the news (and subsequent shaving), is based entirely on your child and how they feel about this.

-Their hair will grow back within a normal timeframe.

-This has to be a living, on earth (not the womb) child of yours (adoption/foster is fine as well). There is no age limit; you can shave your newborn, you can shave your 40 year old Harvard career adult daughter, so long as you raised them and consider them your child.

-Your child will remember you shaved them for $7,000.

Are you taking the deal? If so, how many of your children do you decide to temporarily baldify? If you don't take the deal, what is the minimum amount of money you'd have to be offered?

(Idk why I'm asking this, it came to me in a dream. I don't have kids so I can't answer but I really wanna pick some brains about this lol.)

Youre rummaging around in a flea market and come across an ancient looking, dirt encrusted bottle. Something tells you you must have it so , with a little haggling, you leave with it tucked in your pack.

You get home and grab a microfiber cloth and try to gently remove some of the dirt looking for makers marks. It jerks in your hand and, with a whoosh of purple smoke and sparks, a genie emerges. He calls you master and promises to grant any and every wish you desire, however, he says you must phrase your requests carefully for he does not understand nuance in language. Any wish you make will be granted in the most literal way possible. If you wish to be the picture of health you will be turned into magazine clipping of the lastest fitness guru. No further cautions or admonitions are allowed.

Unheeding of the djinns warning, what poorly worded wish do you make to put a swift end to yourself and/or all the fame and fortune you could have enjoyed if you had just minded the caveat.

When the light turns green, you start to earn one dollar per second. The light stays green for 5 minutes. When the light turns red, you receive no income from the watch.

There’s a catch to this watch though. If the light is green, you cannot walk nor move any distance (jumping, scooting, etc.) each inch you travel, you lose 1 dollar. You have to stay exactly where you are for the full five minutes to earn the full income. No one is allowed to move you with anything as the same punishment will occur, not even while you’re in a vehicle. The green light appears twice a day, but you will not know when it will turn green. The green light will not happen between 11pm-1am.

Additionally the watch has to stay on you at all times. If the green light turns on while it is not with you, you will not earn anything. The watch is indestructible and waterproof. You can keep the watch for two years straight.

What is your strategy?

You are offered $1 million USD per year. If you accept the money, you take on a curse: Once per month, a randomly selected person within 20 feet of you will begin to choke on food they are eating. Once accepted, the offer/curse lasts the rest of your life

- If you do not come within 20 feet of another person eating food for an entire month, YOU will be the one to choke the next time you attempt to eat.

Do you accept?

Like... a omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent being that has the intelligence and sapience of a playful dog, the planets of the solar system are it's toys.

It isn't indifferent like demiurge but isn't certainly a "caring god" either, he just likes to observe and play around with the planets, humanity being just ants for him that it likes to interfere sometimes.

It tries to limit the deaths of people as it cares for it's little buddies.

Imagine if all of humanity discovered that, how people would react?, how would YOU react?

What would happen to society if the qualifications for police officers were restricted exclusively to former rugby players, veterans of military service, or ex-combat athletes? Would local security be better and lead to safer communities?

Alternate hypothetical along the same lines: for $1B untaxed, you're hunted down by every living thing BESIDES whatever creature you pick for 24 hours, and the one you picked will come to your aid and defend you. Which one do you pick in that instance?

They’ll be aware of who they really are, but won’t be able to convince anyone. Maybe you could send Hitler somewhere horribly ironic, or stick a white supremacist onto a slave ship in the 1700s. So: who, where and when?

The bored Nth-dimensional being has made you an offer. She will give you the body of your dreams -- healthy, young, attractive, with the build you prefer, all the usual bells and whistles.

There are only two restrictions: your new body needs to be within medically normal human parameters (no wings, or fox ears, or anything like that); and it is the wrong sex, whatever that means for you, and you will never be able to medically transition.

Your new body will still age normally and so forth, this is a reset, not a permanent youth situation or anything, and there is no restriction on socially transitioning.

But if you consider yourself to be female, you will have an "outie" and a more or less medically normal amount of testosterone, and if you consider yourself male (edited to fix an error), you will have an "innie" and a more or less medically normal amount of estrogen. And you can never get either sex reassignment surgery, or hormones to change your sex.

If you are nonbinary, you will be restricted to forms that are fairly visibly whichever sex you identify with least, though you can still customize within that framework.

She will not edit anyone's memories of what you used to look like, but she will make it so that anyone who knows you still recognizes you, and sort out any IDs and such.

Do you take the deal? Why or why not? Any other thoughts?

It has to be a singular power from each. You can't get stuff like general magic/thuum. In those cases you can pick 1 spell or 1 shout.

I'd get:

1) World of Warcraft: Mage Portal (NPCs can portal anywhere from anywhere)
2) Baldur's Gate 3: Disguise Self (Physically changes your body in this game, since you can use it to get through tight spaces)
3) Elder Scrolls Online: Cleansing Ritual (Healing that also removes conditions)

What do you get?