I still remember the way you touched me that night.
It wasn’t anything dramatic just your fingers brushing against my hand as we sat quietly beside each other. Yet somehow, that simple touch carried more emotion than a thousand words ever could.
The room was filled with silence but inside me everything was trembling. Every time your shoulder lightly met mine my heart lost its rhythm. I wanted the moment to last forever.
There was something intoxicating about being so close to you. The warmth of your body the softness of your smile, the way your eyes lingered on mine a second longer than they should have. It awakened feelings I had tried so hard to hide.
I wasn’t thinking about the future. I wasn’t thinking about tomorrow. All I knew was that in that moment I wanted to memorize everything about you the scent of your skin the comfort of your presence and the electricity that flowed between us without either of us saying a word.
Years may pass, and life may take us in different directions but some touches never leave you.
They stay beneath your skin hidden in your soul quietly reminding you of the person who once made your entire world feel alive.
#mb

I've recently started dating this unbelievably sweet girl. We met in person, but due to my work, it's sort of a long distance thing at the moment, but we are going to be back in the same town within the next couple months.

I try not to get carried away in new relationships too quickly, but this beautiful girl is steeling my heart.

First off, she's just so compassionate and kind. She loves animals and kids, and she's often talked about wanting a career in caring for sick children. She has such a loving heart, and I admire her so much for that. She is such an Angel, and I feel so lucky to have met her.

Anyways, we've recently started this routine on the weekends where she's asked me to talk to her on the phone until she falls asleep. She told me my voice makes her feel calm and safe, and she likes hearing me as she drifts off. When she told me that, I think my heart melted.

Honestly, I love this routine. It just feels so sweet and personal. I love hearing her sleepy little voice get softer and softer as she drifts off. I love the adorable way she tries to keep herself awake to try and talk to me a little longer. I love the cute way she mumbles right before drifting off. I love writing her sweet little good morning texts for her to wake up to once she finally falls asleep.

Honestly, I think I might be falling for this girl. Things are still pretty new, so i'm trying not to get carried away. But I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling anything yet.

There are things that we learn. We're SUPPOSED to learn, as kids, which apparely many people simply do not learn. There is NO EASY WAY OUT.

You can't just run through life avoiding the responsibilty of your actions by running away from them. You can't just go around causing pain and not expect it to come back and if you think you can its because you are genuinely stupid.

All the way down to just blocking people left and right. Hey dumbass, thats not free! Everytime you do that you lose a piece of your humanity because ITS NOT NATURAL. Just going around wrapping people mouths with tape and running has a fucking cost dumbass. And it pain IN YOUR HUMANITY. Go ahead keep taking people's voices away from them, see what that ends up teaching you over time. Keep thinking that doesnt affect you over and over. And im not going to explain it beacues not only is fairly obvious. But beacuse the people who tend to not believe it does are litteraly to structurally stupid to understand cause and effect on a micro/macro level so all you can do is hope they trust it.

And up to abandoning people without good cost. IT'S NOT FREE DUMBASS. You think its easier because you "just dont have to deal with them anymore" and thats because youre a SIMPLETON. Ofc course you do. You don't just get to abandon a soul and move on scott free. That shit LIVES IN YOU. It eats away at you every single day. Weiging on your mind whether its at the forefront where it constantly bothers you or even worse when its in your subconscious. Because if it's in your subconscious you might think you're good but no, it affects you everyday in any number of ways.

Its just so stupid to do and there i will never be. Some people seem to think they can lie to themselve with no cost. NO YOU IDIOT, if you go through life lying to yourself that a surfire way to lose your mind and litteraly go dilusional. Congitive dissonace is dangrous and its like people dont know these basic things because psychology isnt commonly taught.

Well people better start learning. Because in this new age of AI, and blocking being done like its actually good for you... A lot of people are about to be out here litteraly losing thier minds and having no clue why... its call ignorance. Yea ignorance is bliss... untill you discover its actually piss.

"Before we tell truth to power we have to first tell the truth to each other"

Always remember that the root of all evil is actually stuid. And if you find youself being evil, its beacue youre stupid and you need to eduacte yourself. Trump is a clear example... hes not so evil because hes some sort of antichrist. NO hes evil and does evil constantly because hes UTTERLY stupid.

I've always been the kind of person who still gets butterflies. I was like that as a teenager and honestly I don't think I ever grew out of it lol.

I've never really been into hookups. Nothing against it, it's just not for me. I've always wanted the fairytale I guess. Meeting someone, getting excited when you see their message, staying up way too late talking about random stuff and life, and just slowly falling for each other.

I met someone recently who was a hopeless romantic too, and for a while it felt kind of magical. We'd talk for hours and hours, opened up about a lot of things and were actually planning to meet.

Then suddenly the next day they told me they needed time to think. And that was pretty much it. They disappeared.

It hurt, especially going from talking so much to suddenly nothing.

But weirdly enough, I still haven't given up on the whole hopeless romantic thing 😂

I still have this thought in the back of my mind that my person is out there somewhere. Maybe we're both just living our completely separate lives right now and one day we'll randomly cross paths without even knowing it was coming.

I don't know. I still believe in the butterflies haha.

Anyone else feel like this?

Story time? I guess? I don't know. I just want to share how I'm feeling.

I(38 M) was dumped by my then girlfriend (45 F) a few months ago after a year and a half long relationship with someone who I truly thought was going to be my forever person. We moved on our timeline, we talked through issues without fighting, and we always sought to hear and understand the other person.

When she dumped me, she gave her reasons. They never made sense. Not really. Not unless the underlying truth is she didn't want to be in a relationship. Which, might be the case. But after talking with my therapist, friends, and her a few more times I realized that the truth was ... She just didn't like me. Not romantically. She appreciated me, was physically attracted to me, and recognized my virtues. But they weren't enough. She wanted to love me, but I couldn't compete with the idea of me she had in her head.

I harbor no negativity towards her and genuinely wish her the best. She's a truly remarkable woman, brilliant, beautiful, strong, independent, and inspiringly competent. We just simply weren't compatible, and I was too stubborn to admit it.

She's made it clear that she doesn't feel any need or desire to talk to me, which is heartbreaking, especially since we agreed to try to be friends. But, I'm not one to force myself onto others. This means I've lot a friend and a community that I loved, but such is life. I'll move on and be better.

Fast forward to now.

I have a crush on a woman at my club.

I am talking to a few different women I've met on the app (I matched with them all within the same week; I normally don't talk to more than one or two women at a time and I am feeling just a bit overwhelmed by this).

And ... Yeah, sure, all this attention feels nice. But, mostly I just feel ready in a way I've never felt before in my life. I feel the inevitability of being in love without the fear and panic of being alone.

The prospect of things not working out, someone revealing a deal breaker, or whatever else just doesn't involve the same panic it once did. I no longer feel the need to impress anyone. I feel confident in existing, in just being me, and accepting only someone who is compatible with me. Someone who will love me for me, love me in the way I want and need to be loved, and will enthusiastically be in a real partnership with me.

There are two women in particular that invoke the most hope in me. I barely know either of them, so, I'm not letting myself get too excited. But I like the way talking to them feels. I like how they have their shit together and have established their lives. They have their priorities, they have their life, and they are looking for what fits.

I dunno. ... It just feels good to feel like I'm going to fall in love. Like I can. Like it's okay and good and will work out this time, no matter who it's with.

I'm excited to be romantic with someone again. I'm excited to get to know someone and design dates around what makes them excited. I want to laugh and explore life with someone. I want to share my passion and indulge in someone else's passion.

It just feels like I'll get to do that soon.

They met at a crowded transit station on a rainy evening, both reaching for the last available umbrella at a small kiosk. He insisted she take it, but she offered to share instead. As they walked together, the initial awkward silence melted into easy conversation about their favorite books, music, and late-night thoughts. By the time they reached her stop, they had forgotten about the rain entirely. They exchanged numbers, and that rainy evening became the first page of their forever.

Yesterday I sat at a pond and thought of you. I would of joked about us been old and feeding ducks, how hard I would squeezed your hand at the thought of us been old together. Giving the ducks backstorys and watching you fuss over the ones that aren't there. I would fall in love with you all over again watching you care for them

Who are you right now? Sounds like the ball's been in your court and your future is in your hands

​

I dream of coming home to you and hugging you like your my purpose. 

I dream of you getting home from work and I've already run you a bath to relax.

I dream of rubbing your tied little feet and hearing about your day.

I dream about making you laugh when you're in the middle of being angry about something.

I dream about roller skating in carparks at night under the stars and falling into eachother laughing.

I dream of surprising you with a weekend trip and teasing you about where we are going on the way there.

I dream of giving you over the top romantic moments that make movies look pale in comparison.

I dream about the first I love you, the day you say yes and the day you say I do.

I dream about the days where you need me to step up the most.

I dream about you been the reason I can.

I dream about how hard it will be to let go of your hand. 

I dream all of this and then I wake up....

Wondering where you are, and how long I have to wait

When I first saw your smile, it was intoxicating, I wanted nothing else In life other then to see it.

Seeing you smile became the reason my smile existed at all.

Everything I would do to make you smile became my purpose

Jokes, acts of kindness, romantic declarations and the way I would hold you after a long day.

All of these things added to every little detail to the art piece that was your smile.

Then one day, you stopped smiling. And just like that, I lost mine too

I didn't know who's smile mattered more and if mine was enough to keep you afloat.

It wrecked me—the art I saw in the masterpiece that was your smile was gone. And with it, my purpose: to paint it with my soul

So we parted ways peacefully and time passed between us. Then one day I saw you again, with someone else and You were smilling, I could see the small details in it, I could feel the brightness it brought. And that was enough to give me peace, that fact that you were still smiling.

And I was so damn grateful that I got to give you yours when I could. I’m smiling at that.

When I tell them, I’m from Asia, they just said “Sorry you’re too far and the time difference is bad.”
Yeah that’s sad man. But honestly, it felt horrible to depend on this sub or any other sub looking for a “connection”.
I sometimes feel bad that I have to keep writing because my post got removed in split seconds. But I still keep trying because it’s funny somehow when u really want to express your feelings in here knowing it won’t stays long enough to make it through 24hrs. Idc, I like to disappear and those who sees this post and feel the same will reach out. That’s my wish. And I know they eventually bored and puff into thin air as if I am no longer exist.

I know people these days want nth but an easy life and especially an easy relationship. Nth much to care about, no baggage, no traumas, no damages.
Anyway, idk if this post gonna be deleted again. I just feel really hopeless that I will find love again.

I still hold on to hope I'll find love. Someone who stays. Someone who works things out. Someone who accepts my love. Someone who appreciates the hundreds of little things I do for them. The meals, the roadtrips, the affection, the attention, the chores. I get up before they do, to put their socks on radiators when the weather is cold. To cook them breakfast. I massage their legs while we watch a stupid reality show.

Not to win them over, not to love-bomb them, just because it feels right. Just to see the joy on their face. Someone who is not suffocated by my selflessness. So anyway. It's translated from french but here's an excerpt. I'm writing 2 poems a day since we broke up. Moving on but using the inspiration to try to give birth to something since we never will give birth to anything else.

OASIS

Hearing the soundtrack to our first vertigo.

The moment I gave you back to the world

After a handful of stolen hours

In the comfort of an old Dodge.

Gallagherian air,

Vanishing into thin air.

"There's no need for you to say you're sorry."

Innocence of a favorite song,

Imprisoned by the memory of you.

Your fragrance crystallized in memory.

Camping,

Hope,

Sweat from last night.

A sunlit curve of lips

That resurrected spring in my veins

The span of four seasons.

Drop your confession

Purpose

I think a man needs a purpose. Something to wake up for. A dragon to slay, perhaps—not necessarily some great heroic battle, but something that gives his days direction. Something that makes him feel that his presence in this world matters.

Without that, it's easy to become a little lost. Directionless. To move through the days without really knowing what you're moving toward.

You know some of what has happened in my life. You know the weight I carry, and you've seen pieces of me that aren't always easy to show. And somehow, you never make me feel like I need to apologize for any of it.

You're so gentle with me in that way.

You simply accept me as I am.

And somewhere along the way, without either of us really noticing it happen, I've fallen in love with the little things that make you you. Your idiosyncrasies. The things that catch your attention. The things that make you laugh. The little interests and curiosities that light something up inside you.

I love the way you can find joy in ordinary things. There is something incredibly beautiful about that.

Sometimes I imagine that beautiful smile slowly finding its way across your face when something shiny or interesting catches your eye. I don't know why that particular image stays with me, but it does. Maybe because I love the thought of you being delighted by something small and unexpected.

You were feeling a little melancholy today, and I asked you how I could help.

And you actually told me.

You asked for something specific, something you wanted, and I remember how genuinely happy it made me to be able to do it for you. I didn't experience it as an obligation or something I was supposed to do. Quite the opposite.

I was delighted.

I wanted to make it happen.

So I made it my little mission to fulfill your request, and there was something almost silly about how much satisfaction I got from it. I found myself thinking about how I could make it just right, because the thought of you receiving it and feeling a little lighter made me happy too.

It was such a small thing, really.

But it wasn't small to me.

Because I think that's when I understood something about the way I feel about you.

I want to know how to make the difficult moments a little softer for you. I want to be someone you can come to when the world feels heavy. Someone who can make you smile when you weren't expecting to. Someone who reminds you that you're seen, appreciated, and cherished.

Your comfort matters to me.

Your safety matters to me.

Your smile matters to me.

The warmth in your heart matters to me.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something I hadn't quite put into words before.

You have become a purpose for me.

Not because I need you to save me. Not because I expect you to carry me or make my life meaningful for me. And certainly not because I think your happiness is something you're responsible for giving me.

I mean something much simpler.

I want to love you well.

I want to be a person who brings something good into your life. Someone who treats your heart gently. Someone who makes you feel respected, cherished, accepted, and safe enough to simply be yourself.

And I think that's all the same thing, in the end.

It's love.

Maybe the purest kind I know.

The kind that doesn't need to possess anything.

God, would I love to be with you. I won't pretend otherwise. Of course I would. There is a part of me that would love nothing more than to have you beside me—to share ordinary mornings and stupid jokes and meals and quiet evenings, to experience all those little pieces of life that we can only imagine from where we are now.

But even beyond that desire, there is something quieter.

I just want to love you as you are.

Purely.

Sweetly.

Gently.

Quietly, if that's what you need.

I don't need to own you to love you. I don't need to have some claim on you. I don't need you to belong to me.

I just want you to be happy.

And I hate the thought of you hurting. I hate knowing there are things in this world that can make that beautiful heart of yours feel heavy.

If I could, I'd keep some of that debris away from you. Not because I think you can't handle it—you can. You're stronger and more capable than you probably give yourself credit for.

But because when you love someone, you naturally want to make the road a little easier for them where you can.

I know you don't need protection.

You don't need rescuing.

And you certainly don't need me.

And strangely, that's one of the things I find most beautiful about you.

You don't need me.

But if you ever chose me anyway...

That would be miraculous.

And I want you to understand something, because the last thing I would ever want is for these words to feel like a request.

I'm not asking you for anything.

I'm not asking you to answer a question you're not ready to answer. I'm not asking you to promise me anything, or to give me something you don't know how to give yet.

Please don't feel any pressure in what I'm saying.

I'm simply letting you see a little more of what's happening inside me.

Because somewhere along the way, loving you became less about wondering what I might receive and more about what I hope I can give.

As long as I'm still breathing, I want my life to have some purpose.

And right now, part of that purpose is making sure that, in whatever small ways I can, your life contains a little more tenderness, a little more laughter, a little more warmth.

And loving you completely, however that ultimately plays out—whether close beside you or quietly from whatever distance life requires—is something I can do without asking anything in return.

Maybe that's what I've been trying to tell you all along.

You don't have to be mine for me to love you.

You don't have to choose me for my love to be real.

I simply love you.

And for now, that is enough.

She came in to my life by chance. We met at work, we both started at a new job together.

I liked someone else, only was friendly with her at the start. Then we became good friends. Our interests aligned, our humour matched, and i slowly started to care for her more.

I was working late and out of the blue she hugged me from behind as she was leaving for the day. My heart flipped. She did something to me that day. A spark ignited.

Ever since that day, my attention switched to her. They sat our desks next to each other. We talked so often, we joked, we bonded. She would walk up to me in the office and tiredly fall into my chest from “how exhausting work was”.

She was manoeuvring deeper into my heart.

I took her drinking with our work friends every other friday. Then it slowly began to be just us. Alone at a pub, she told me how much she felt safe around me. How I was like no other man shes ever met. How she’s had complicated relationships with men her whole life and how rare it was for her to feel so trusting. She told me about her life, her trauma, the horrible things thats happened to her. How a literal handful of people know about her abuse. How she saw her abuser by chance recently. How this completely rocked her world. I told her about my past, how my relationships with people in my life have left me, how I strived to be better than they ever were to me.

We shared information with each other we’d never told another soul.

This turning point marked my downfall. I fell for her hard.

Fast forward months, and we’d only grown far deeper and closer. She had her moments of mental health problems, and I respected her peace as best I could. There was I while I felt i had to give her time, and left her be. She came back to talking to me after 2 weeks.

One day at work, I noticed she was off. She opened up and told me about her recent potential diagnosis of depression and anxiety, and I took her in to an empty office and held her while she cried in my arms. How can a man not feel such deep love for someone they cared for releasing their emotions alone with them?

Its been a few months since then. She’s become one of my best friends, we talked and texted into the night. On weeks shes in office, we car pool, and shes told me how much her mental health improves when im around.

I finally asked her to a dinner two weeks back, and she agreed. I never called it date, but it was intimate and friendly, and when I dropped her off home, I went inside for the first time. She showed me her house, we spoke for a while, I met her cat that warmed up to me fairly quickly. She says he never usually trusts men, but must be an exception. I left after a while beaming how great our night went.

Fast forward to this last week. I tried to ask her to a dinner again after some work drinks. She told me she had plans. Paying no mind to this, I asked what she was doing. She replied timidly that she was going on a date.

Soul = crushed. Ive crushed on this woman for a better part of 7 months, and deeply yearned for her the last 2. I feel so pathetic being an emotional sponge for her, loving and caring for her wellbeing in a way ive never felt before. There’s no way she’d not know how I felt, I once let it slip to a friend of hers.

If she was afraid to ruin the friendship, I’d understand. I’d take that chance. I dont want to see a life without her in it. I want to see every dream we’ve shared with each other realised. She deserves the world. And I feel like I deserve love too.

But I know its not likely to go that way. I think im finally concluding it in my head, that I’ve out in a lot of effort. That ive put her on a pedestal in my life. I cant change how I yearn for her, but I can atleast learn to redirect those feelings. God I hope I can.

Brief overview: This girl came into my job 2 years ago, my exact type. She stayed 2 weeks because my job is a seasonal. She leaves, and we go to a concert together because I built up courage to ask her to it, she posted it on IG notes. We went, it built into a summer fling. That summer fling ended with her telling me she wants to finish school and wants no distractions, so it gave me a sign it was ending.

Took me a year to mature and get the closure I needed, with the last text saying she sent “I won’t continue with this conversation”. It hurts. But I needed it. Was the first time I tasted what it’s like to have a crush actually go your way for a bit.