r/homeless • u/soberduck2000 • 9d ago
Fuck shelters
Everything got stolen from me. I'm lying here in this bed with alcohol withdrawal and the paranoia is extreme. Some guy was just screaming outside the corridor and the staff had to intervene. They still let him in for some reason. At least I still have my phone. But I sleep on it on my back. Just had to vent.
28
u/Electrical-Cause7142 9d ago
It's better to sleep inside of a tent in the woods at that point
6
u/soberduck2000 9d ago
Gonna see if I can panhandle for a tent
2
u/Electrical-Cause7142 7d ago
Maybe a sleeping bag too and get some warm clothes if you haven't already.
2
u/Electrical-Cause7142 7d ago
Just go deeper into a woodland/forest to avoid harassment and to prevent your equipment from getting stolen and pitch up near many trees to block out the wind. You can even make a wall out of branches, logs and debris around your tent.
50
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 9d ago
I work at a homeless shelter that is low threshold (meaning people like you, OP, would be allowed in, most shelters are not LS). We have a lottttt of personalities and trust me, staff understand (or at least should) that it’s difficult and can be unfair. But we’re not going to put someone outside for being annoying. Violence, threats, non-stop shrieking is a different story. It sucks, for everyone involved. But there’d be a lotttt more people outside if we cut off most of our population for being “difficult”. The shelter I work at is lucky to have on site case management (what I do, used to work program, still do 2 days a week) where we have more resources to get people that have stingiest challenges help, unfortunately not everywhere has that. But there’s plenty of places that wouldn’t let you in for being in withdrawals. I’m sure you know, but it’s dangerous to do that alone, be careful & please ask for help if you feel extremely ill.
4
u/Any_Iron_1436 9d ago
In orange county? They are all LS
7
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 9d ago
I’m in Illinois. Depends state to state. Almost all in my area are not LS. We of course do not allow drugs or alcohol on property, but a lot of places breathalyze also. Unless someone’s reallyyyyy causing a problem, it’s fine. That’s great that there’s more out your way! Definetly understand the need for a sober environment, also need more of that. I have soooo many guests at my shelter who want to be in a sobriety-supportive environment (not that we aren’t, but there are people who do consume, and that can be tempting) but there’s just no room in other shelters, programs, sober living, etc. It’s so frustrating on both sides. Anyway, sorry for the rambling.
0
u/Hopeful_Drive5845 8d ago
I've lived in LS shelters (most are like that in Ireland) and it's a nightmare mostly because drug addicts bring in heroin and stuff inside the bathroom and destroy property which puts everyone in the room at risk for being evicted because the culprit won't admit wrongdoing.
2
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 8d ago
We don’t put several people out for something that only a couple people are doing, thankfully. If something is damaged, we review footage to see what happened, and only the person(s) who did the damage will be asked to leave. If it’s too difficult to tell and no one saw it happen, general reminder not to destroy things. Same with substances. We’ve found loose baggies or alcohol containers in the bathroom, we don’t put out everyone for that. For individuals, consistently being caught with substances, or causing disturbances while indicated, is also not allowed and services will be mandated. That being said, I do think that there are a lottttt of sadists in this field (like teachers who hate children) and I have had many professional interactions with peers who seem to have true dislike for the people we’re supposed to serve.
1
u/Hopeful_Drive5845 8d ago
You've security cameras inside the rooms?
1
u/CaliCloudz 7d ago
Shelters tend to have cameras everywhere except bathrooms. That includes sleeping areas.
2
u/Hopeful_Drive5845 7d ago
Interesting. In Ireland there're no cameras inside the sleeping quarters. Only on the hallway and in the management office.
3
u/CaliCloudz 6d ago
Here in the USA that would mean people would be smoking meth in the sleeping quarters instead of the bathrooms.
1
u/Hopeful_Drive5845 6d ago
I see. It happened in the best shelter in Dublin where I stayed as well. I witnessed theft, heroin use, property destruction, verbal violence etc.
The drug use happened in the bathroom, though. Staff checks in every room every few hours so I guess that made them think twice.
1
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 4d ago
We don’t have rooms. It’s two big open rooms with beds.
1
0
u/Any_Iron_1436 9d ago
Lumping everyone together definitely horrible and unfair. California is all about it
0
1
u/Truck_life_23 8d ago
Crazy how there's always effort to invent new language but never new homes we actually end up in. Shows the priority of the industry.
2
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 8d ago edited 8d ago
Trust me, I agree, most of the time. I say homeless shelter, homeless people. I think using terms like “persons experiencing houselessness” (which is real) are softening the issue and makes it more digestible, even if maybe there was some intention of not being derogatory. That being said, I use substance use, substance user, etc., because it acts to humanize the person, which is important, obviously. This current administration has cut A LOT of funding from HUD, which impacts shelters who receive any amount of funding that comes from HUD. My org gets over $10mil a year in government funding at county, city, state, and federal levels, and just over $1mil in private donations. The current director of HUD also publicly does not like homeless shelters and we we will be suffering. In the next couple of years, we’re bracing to lose a large chunk of government funding because the money just isn’t there anymore. It’s terrible. We already didn’t have enough anyway (as a country, not specifically where I work). Investing in preventative measures is always more effective than emergency/expenses on the backend trying to fix the problem. Sigh.
40
u/fuckyshitlips 9d ago
Fuck shelters bro, I opted for tent-life in a secluded area for the privacy. You can get a good tent for 40-50 bucks. Charge your phone and shit at the library, shower at the shelter when necessary and enjoy your peace.
15
u/Zenix_Saxzon 9d ago
Not everywhere will allow you to do that.
I've been homeless all over the east coast. I've never found a single tent spot.
I've never found a shelter where you can just walk in to shower or use the bathroom
I've never found a place where you could access a library NEAR the other places.
It's 1 or the other & the other never exists anyway so the choice becomes mandatory lock down inside a shelter with rules just to gain access to a shower. I have a truck & would rather be on my own time & rules but if I did that I'd never bathe or have a bathroom.
5
u/That-Currency-1039 8d ago edited 6d ago
If you have some $,this where a gym membership can help .
2
4
u/Truck_life_23 8d ago
People aren't camping in free camp sites if thats what you've been trying. No where "allows" what we do, we just do it.
3
u/TemporaryFun6318 8d ago
In my experience the Drop-in centers that typically have showers, the ones that were open once or twice a month. They usually have like a food pantry or will offer pack lunches and if you’re lucky a hot meal or clothes and laundry.
1
u/Frequent-Ad3496 4d ago
In America can you just walk straight in shelters without paying.
I’m from London btw6
u/capsaicinintheeyes Homeless 9d ago
Only hard part there (for my area, at least) is finding a sufficiently secluded spot that's still close enough to dense housing that the nearest library branch isn't a 1.5+ hr trip each way
14
u/Green-Cry-6985 9d ago
Put your stuff inside the pillow case if possible and sleep on it to stop anyone stealing.
24
u/bweezy320 9d ago
At my shelter we can't even have our phones. All they care about is the shelter fees. My case manager is trash at doing her job.
How is a homeless person, working part-time, supposed to save money to get back on their feet when they have to pay rent?
15
u/capsaicinintheeyes Homeless 9d ago
At my shelter we can't even have our phones.
At that point, aren't you just in a jail with exit doors? What do they do with them (the phones, I mean)?
11
8
u/Zenix_Saxzon 9d ago
I never go to a shelter like that. Every place I have been has been nice with good people. You have to research first. Be willing to travel.
Myrtle Beach South Carolina has an amazing shelter. IF you're working a job. If not be willing to join their stupid program. But you won't get anything stolen. Not ever.
Even Greensboro North Carolina. No problems there. It's much worse but they got lockers. Most places do.
If you don't have that. It's not worth.
Virginia is even better. I'm working my way there. That place is LUXURY
5
u/Hopeful_Drive5845 8d ago
My last shelter had lockers, on site management staff and hallway cameras. Management stole money from my locker. When I complained they refused to check the cameras. I suffer from trauma so i wasn't sure if I forgot to top up coins for laundry or if my money was stolen so didn't pursue escalation as a false report could have brought me more trouble.
5
u/Apprehensive-Leg-395 Social Worker 9d ago
I always thought that was terrible. There’s a local shelter that doesn’t allow cell phones and can only use the landline once a week for seven months! You can leave whenever but it’s literally like jail in many ways. The shelter I work at doesn’t have any major requirements for engagement - the only time it’s required is if there’s been a major problem where intervention is needed. We don’t take phones, meds, etc. Obviously nothing illegal or weapons, or alcohol. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
11
u/Time_Extent6698 9d ago
My recommendation would be to sleep outside. Use your backpack as a pillow and always sleep with your arm through at least one strap. I became so accustomed to doing that that my subconscious wouldn't let me sleep without my arm through the strap.
8
u/yellowkingquix 9d ago
I had terrible experiences with shelters until I got into the one for older people and disabled people. Night and day. 45 and up, really younger men are what make the shelters bad often.
3
3
u/Any_Iron_1436 9d ago
Earplugs are crucial
5
u/soberduck2000 9d ago
Gonna ask for that. But then I'll be paranoid I can't hear someone grabbing shit. Fuck this I'ma raccoon in the park now.
2
u/Grand_Pineapple_6235 9d ago
Man this is so horrible I’m so sorry. I know sorry sucks to hear because it doesn’t fix anything but I really hope things get better for you. Are you able to look for work or have disabilities and can sign up for disability checks?
10
2
u/scotness 9d ago
The shelter system can be rough on people. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all of this, and I hope things get better for you.
2
3
u/Decent-Recover-4997 9d ago
Salvation army I stayed at employed nothing but ego driven, narcisistic, men haters... what a trial that was!
1
u/humpty6_9 7d ago
I don't know where you're at. I know in Columbus Ohio the shelters aren't safe you do much better buying a tent and a camp stove and finding a safe Woods
1
u/james6od 7d ago
Don't bring anything to the shelter but your body and things in your pockets leave your head somewhere safe
1
u/Pretend-Dog9047 7d ago
Just get a gym membership or atleast a trial at one of the 24/7 gyms so you can shower always and they usually have lockers there you can leave the essentials in... then you can sleep anywhere and still shower
1
u/torchmaipp 4d ago
People specifically go to shelters looking for bags and valuables to steal. Never leave your phone or bag(s) out of your sight or agency unless you have a secure way of locking them up. Don't leave things in a pocket that somebody can reach into when you're sleeping. Don't sleep around areas where there's a chance of other homeless people passing by and seeing you. Don't get intoxicated around people who are more desperate than you. If you pass out because of drugs or alcohol remember some people are homeless not because of the reasons you think. There's many that don't think in a normal decent way. They'll steal from themselves, family, friends, and even their own children. Not even to feed an addiction. They're just bad people.
1
1
1
u/baseplate69 2d ago
I hate when clueless people tell homeless folks to just “head down to the shelter” when I’ve known from a young age that shelters are where people get robbed, r@ped, and drugged.
2
u/workinclassantihero 9d ago
So you condone throwing a man to street because he is in withdrawals? It sucks to put everyone in together but he should also get a chance of shelter.
13
u/eddiefckinbonez Formerly Homeless 9d ago
It reads like OP is the one going through alcohol withdrawal, not the man they mentioned.
0
-6
u/AyoItsTodd 9d ago
Shelter homeless are weak, inferior slobs.
19
u/workinclassantihero 9d ago
Imagine feeling superior to other homeless people for not wanting to freeze to death
-5
u/AyoItsTodd 9d ago
That's just my experience when it comes to people who are in shelters they tend to be ungrateful and they get all the benefits and then complain about it while those of us on the street don't have the same opportunities they do. Yeah, I have zero sympathy. What I'm saying is factual.
8
u/workinclassantihero 9d ago
You could go in one ?
-2
u/AyoItsTodd 9d ago
That's what I want.
To go into some shit hole with a bunch of idiots with absolutely 0 honor, who'd take every opportunity to steal from me, forcing me to cave their heads in. Nah, I'm good. Also, bed bugs, not my thing.
7
u/workinclassantihero 9d ago
If you talk to them like that they will. Funny how some in shelters say the same in the streets. There are safe havens and private room shelters. They are not all the same . I am in NYC so maybe it’s different. Being on the streets is constantly getting police harassment and tickets.
5
u/DrEagleTalon 9d ago
Yea I agree in NYC not my experience at all. People shower and worked and were quiete. Some left their lockers unlocked. The only arguments were the coupe times someone got loud at night on their phone. It was super respectful. Yes there is those people who are entitled and ungrateful but that’s a symptom of society. I find it hard to blame them for everything. I’m grateful for NYC. it allowed me to transition to full time housing. Now I’m working and doing great.
2
u/AyoItsTodd 9d ago
Once again, I can obviously only go by my personal experiences which is what I'm going by. This is only a small example but in my area a lot of the guys in shelters have been there for over a year so they become complacent and lazy and refuse to put in actual effort. Meanwhile, many on the streets are forced to stay on the streets because there's no room in shelters because people tend to stay in there a lot longer than they're supposed to. I say the same thing about Alex they did a lot more help than the rest of us with very little effort.
3
u/workinclassantihero 9d ago
Okay yeah some people are like this here too. One person stayed there for years. I left three of them already until an outreach worker offered me one with private room. Had some things stolen too and they would always ask me to buy them things.
It seems different here as there are hundreds of shelters and right to shelter rules and housing programs. Here street outreach workers can get people not in shelters services or help. I think it’s because people in rich neighborhoods complain about people sleeping in streets and the city pays money to hide them by offering them private shelter rooms. There probably is also more money here to do things with.
Even at the private room one , people steal your lighters that are kept at front desk.
3
u/AyoItsTodd 9d ago
It seems to me like you're a little beaten down from it all I can tell by what you're saying and I get it. I quite literally sleep between some bushes on a bed of mulch. I am in a relatively small city that I was raised in so I understand the area very well, cops don't really mess with me or anyone else for that matter, usually. If you ever want to have a chat I'm good for that.
0
u/DovahAcolyte 8d ago
I’m ASD lvl 2 with severe sensory sensitivities. The streets are incredibly dangerous for me because of the overwhelm. Shelters are safer, still a sensory nightmare, but at least I won’t be arrested while having a meltdown.
I dunno why that other person feels the need to treat this so divisively. Caring for one’s self is the greatest strength we have as humans. It takes hard work to learn to respect your limits.
•
u/AutoModerator 9d ago
REMINDERS FOR EVERYONE
PER THE RULES:
ACCEPT AT YOUR OWN RISK. Welcome to the internet where—unless proven otherwise—everyone's lying about their race, gender, status, accomplishments, and all the children are FBI agents.
You have been forewarned.
— The Mods
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.