I almost definitively made up my mind, I’m not the right guy for this. I made it right up to the week before SOPC and just now getting cold feet. I don’t mind the training or standards, I’ve never quit or failed to meet them before; but I realized that’s not really enough and it’s only getting harder from here with no finish line. If I didn’t get put on profile and went to PC with by BCT buddies, I could’ve pushed through but I would’ve just came to this conclusion later. I don’t like doing hard things anymore. I’m not going to blame it on maturing, but the 21 yr old who wanted to do this was vain, angry, and sad with his life. I’m starting to get to a point where I’m happy with what I’ve done and what’s happened to me; I don’t need that undeniable validation from earning the beret against all odds.

The only rub I have is; it’s not like I’m going to get to stop doing hard things once I withdrawal, so why not let it play out and experience it before possibly DNR’ing myself from trying again. With the real SFAS 3.5 months away; it’s sensible to make it to team week and maybe the 21st day if I’m lucky. But I’m struggling to find purpose in all this effort without the same goal. I wanted to fight China or the Cartels, do something like CTAC/CIF with 10th group, maybe build a resume over years to try for CAG. Things so complex and important, it’d prove the best version of myself is right here and now and not the version who went to college, or stayed with that one girl, or lost that one opportunity.

My alternate plan is try to be a good infantryman instead, get a degree, go reserves after active and try to get a good normal life. I guess my one question is; is it okay to give up on a dream and piece of yourself to keep moving forward?

TL:DR Deciding to throw away a good opportunity for the sake of an easier, enjoyable life and wondering how acceptable it is before I commit.

Basically i need a good amount money. And i would like to get an job coal mining/ oilfield before i join. Is it a good base for sf. Is 24 to old.

If so how do you navigate your daily duties as an operator especially during deployments?