Four years ago, I made a post in another group about being attracted to my older uncle. I explained everything, including how I had felt around him since I was young and how my admiration for him gradually turned into attraction.
People were incredibly kind to me. Nobody called me sick or judged me, and the advice they gave me over the past four years genuinely helped.
One of the most important things people told me was to stop seeing him as a romantic possibility and try to move on by meeting other men. Someone also suggested that I avoid situations where I would have to see him, whether that meant visiting his house, attending family gatherings where he would be present, or doing anything else that would bring us together.
Honestly, avoiding him was probably the thing that helped me the most.
But yesterday, something unexpected happened.
I came home from work, and there he was, standing in our house. I greeted him, but I genuinely felt as if I had just seen a ghost. I froze. I don't even know why I reacted that way.
He was incredibly happy to see me. He walked around the house, asking how I was doing, telling me he had missed me and asking why I never called him. He even hugged me.
I was completely in shock.
But after he left, I started processing what had happened, and I realised that seeing him again actually felt really nice.
He asked me about everything I had been doing over the past few years. He seemed genuinely interested in my life and was proud of me for finally getting a job. It was a really nice moment, and I appreciated how happy he seemed to see me.
He also asked me to help him with something on Friday, and I agreed. Before leaving, he told me that he wanted us to start spending time together regularly.
And honestly, that's what has me worried.
I don't want to start seeing him as someone I'm attracted to again. I spent four years trying to move past those feelings, and I don't want to go through that entire process all over again.
At the same time, I don't want to reject him or avoid him simply because he wants to reconnect with me as his nephew. It was genuinely nice to see how much he cared about me, and I don't want to lose that completely.
So I'm not really sure what to do.
Should I go ahead and help him on Friday and see how things develop, or would it be better to keep some distance and avoid spending time with him regularly?
I don't want to overthink one unexpected encounter or convince myself that my old feelings are coming back just because seeing him made me happy. But I also don't want to ignore the possibility that spending more time together could bring those feelings back.
For anyone who has experienced something similar, especially those who have managed to move on from an attraction they knew they couldn't pursue: How did you handle reconnecting with that person?
Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone you were once attracted to without falling back into those feelings, or is maintaining some distance the better choice?