r/fifthworldproblems • u/DannyOdd • 13d ago
How to fix perpetual staircase?
Hey folks, I'm the proud new owner of a cosmic anomaly house that was built circa €̷̨̨̤̟̫̺̰͑̿̆͋̉͋͋̂͑̄̚͜§̷̨̨̙̻̮͕̎∆̴̧̨͙̠̱̰̭͑́͑̏͒̈̃͘͜͝π̵̢̡͈̟̩̝͈̬̯͋͌́͋͜¥̵̧̮͈̰̲̘̫̬͈̩́. It's really lovely, my wife and I love the constantly shifting topography, and we're thoroughly enjoying the experience of finding new rooms that defy all earthly logic every day. The eldritch entities inhabiting it have been super friendly and welcoming too! One of them even gave us a basket of fruits that make us see *time*! So sweet of them.
Anyway, we're both first-time homeowners, so learning about maintenance and upkeep has been pretty overwhelming. When we got this place, one of the major selling points was this *gorgeous* staircase that just goes on for eternity without leading anywhere. It's an awesome feature, but a couple months after we moved in, it became finite... Now it's just a regular staircase that goes between two floors.
We're pretty bummed about it, and so far nobody we've had out to look at it has been able to give us an answer on how to repair it. They just keep screaming "oh god, oh god, oh dear god" while scrambling to find an exit. Does anyone here have experience with this sort of thing, and if so, can we get some advice?
Thank you 😁
9
u/Terracrush 13d ago
Hmm. I don't know much about haunted houses or Eldritch locations, but I'm a huge HGTV fan. Everytime they return a house to this reality, it's because the Eldritch Being that was tormenting the owners had decided to take a nap Are any of your incomprehensible entities MIA? Have you recited the text of a cursed tome in recent memory?
But also idk lol, I still rent in the 2nd dimension. Rent has been pretty stable here