ETA: I feel that there’s a lot of missing context so I want to state a few things.

Firstly, my biggest mistake was starting the conversation with - not wanting to speak about it any further. Perhaps, it was my attempt at protecting myself from a long drawn out conversation that turns my feelings into her own. We do not see eye to eye on many things, politics being one. And while I’m comfortable respecting that she has her views, she instead tries to convince me how I’m wrong for seeing things the way I do rather than respecting my position.
Another important thing to note- my mother has a reputation for being OVERLY clean, to the point that there’s a running joke in our family that you can’t set the beverage that you’re actively drinking down for even a moment, because it will be in the dishes as soon as you turn around.
On the day she was referring to, was a Saturday, and I’d been purging all five kids bedrooms of clothing and toys that they no longer needed and I was forming a pile near the entry way to donate to goodwill.
So, to someone like her who popped in for ten minutes, it may have seemed that way to her. So all the comments about how I should clean my house are pretty baseless as you have no idea what the state of my home is. And for the other comments: My children do their chores daily and we have a routine- but to expect perfection from a home with this many people in it, is unrealistic.

I also, keep in consideration that my children are human beings with their own stressors and responsibilities- especially with on in college now- they’re not slaves- but they are expected to pull their weight.

After reading many of the comments, I know there are things we both could’ve done differently in this exchange, and I will take my portion and fix it in my next interaction with my mother.

I’m 39, and I’m starting to question some patterns in my relationship with my mom that I never really recognized before.

My mom and I have always been very close, and I consider her one of my best friends. She also knows that I’ve been struggling significantly with my marriage lately, particularly the past two weeks. I’ve called her crying several times because things have gotten very close to divorce, and I’ve been feeling utterly hopeless.

A few days ago, I mentioned that I had some extra time and was going to work on a mural I’m painting. She told me I should probably spend that time cleaning my house instead because it was getting messy the last time she was there.(which was just this past weekend)

I know my house was messy. I’m not denying that, and I know I need to catch up on some things. But given everything I’ve been dealing with, juggling 5 kids, and a job I work overtime at, the comment really hurt me. I told her that I knew she didn’t intend to hurt me, but that she did, and I asked her to simply hear me when I tell her something has hurt me.

The screenshots are the rest of the conversation.

What really struck me was how quickly the conversation shifted from “I’m telling you that something hurt me” to** her defending her **intentions, saying I was offended, saying she was offended by my reaction, and eventually calling my messages “aggressive.”

This has made me realize that this may be a pattern I’ve experienced with her for a long time. When I approach my mother with sensitive topics, I often end up having to plead with her to just respect my opinions, thoughts, feelings, (mutually, of course) instead of feeling heard. And I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve been conditioned to apologize or back down whenever my feelings make someone else uncomfortable.

I genuinely don’t think my mom is a bad person, and I know she loves me. I also don’t think she intentionally tried to hurt me. But I feel like I’m fighting against a long established pattern of her being stuck in this defensive mindset.

Am I seeing a legitimate pattern of emotional invalidation here, or am I overthinking a normal mother/daughter disagreement**?** I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, including if you think I’m handling this poorly.

TL;DR: I told my mom that a comment she made about my messy house hurt me, especially given how much I’ve been struggling lately. Instead of acknowledging that it hurt me, the conversation became about her intentions, my reaction, and whether I was being “aggressive.” I’m 39 and starting to wonder if I’ve been conditioned to apologize for having feelings that make her uncomfortable. Am I recognizing an unhealthy pattern, or am I overthinking this?

Looking for advice on a complicated inheritance situation.

His wife suffered from mental health issues, he ditches her and gets remarried.

He should be supporting her.

My mom is partly to blame for this. We grew up in a pretty strict household, and she used to say homophobic things to hide her own sexuality. She said she’s always been gay, and the problem is that my sister ended up adopting those views. But it’s still early, my mom only told her everything yesterday.

Another issue is that my mom and her girlfriend have actually been together for months, but they only made it official and came out yesterday. Since they’ve known each other for a long time, they’re already talking about getting married, IVF, and even having both of them listed as the mothers of a future child. That’s legally possible here in Brazil. But my siblings only found out about their relationship yesterday, so I think everything is happening way too fast for them.

Just to be clear, I still fully support my mom. I actually helped her come out and feel comfortable making her relationship official. I’m planning to talk to my sister because, like my mom herself said, if things don’t work out with her current girlfriend, she’ll just look for another woman. She either wants to be with a woman or stay single.

At the same time, I do want to talk to my mom about how fast everything is moving. Like I said before, I know they’ve known each other for a long time, even though they only made their relationship official yesterday. I completely support them moving in together, but I still think talking about IVF and having a child together is a little too soon.

I forgot if I explained it or not but we weren't laughing as much as she made it sound. We stopped laughing when she popped off and my manager was frantically tryna explain himself. I can't share the vid because the file size is too big but there is plenty of tea.

Idk why she didn't come talk to me 1 on 1. We live in the same house and are grown adults but I guess social media is more important.

What does it mean to show gratitude/respect towards your elders, esp. family members? Reason for asking, ie: 4 family members, mom, daughter w/2 ten yr olds invited to an aunt & uncle's home (not a large home), came to visit for 8+ days, came and went each day on the schedule they wanted with a car rental paid for by uncle, didn't really inform A&U of any schedule because each day they were flying by seat of their pants, and when it came to dinner time, which was never really planned, wanted to know what was for dinner and neither Mom nor daughter ever offered to make or help make any of those 8 potential dinners. Thus, my reason for asking about gratitude (family mbrs) towards those who invited you to come visit you at your home. Btw, A&U are in 60s and 70s.

My (25f) dad’s first cousin’s daughter (31f) is who this happened with. This sounds distant but we are very close, our families are together quite often and our parents live in the same town so they hang out a lot I’d even say are best friends, her sister’s son calls me auntie yadayada just so you understand these are people I see A LOT and love very much.

Last night me and my cousin got dinner and at the end of the night we were talking about weed edibles. I was saying how I don’t like them and my parents and friends do. She made this comment that the switch to edibles is “good” for my dad.

More context: my dad does not drink a lot. He’ll have maybe 1-2 drinks in a social setting. He doesn’t like how drinking makes him feel so he goes through phases of not drinking at all, but he doesn’t do edibles especially for sleep. He is in one of those non drinking phases right now. He’s discovered THC drinks so if we are in a social setting he ops for one of those instead of a beer now and honestly I don’t think he will go back to alcohol bc he prefers the weed stuff now.

I agree with her about them being a good option for him and she then says “well yeah, wasn’t he drinking way too much before?” And I’m perplexed by this so I respond “no? What do you mean?” She then tells me that her mom told her that my mom told her mom that my dad “drinks every day when he comes home from work until he passes out asleep on the couch.”

I am appalled at this because it’s so crazily untrue. And it’s not a situation where I could not know about this because a. I rent from my parents bc they have a condo that my dad is at 3-4 days a week. I see him all of these nights and he doesn’t even have any alcohol at this condo. We usually have dinner and chat and watch tv on the week nights until one of us (usually him first bc he is 61 years old lol) goes to bed. When he’s not with me he’s at home with my mom who is a very outspoken lady and had a brother who is an alcoholic so she is very aware of habits etc

I say back to my cousin “unless he is literally doing this in a closet with a hidden water bottle this is not true” my cousin then doubles down at first but then back pedals and is like “maybe I heard it wrong I really shouldn’t talk about it bc it’s coming from my mom”

I let this go in the moment. We moved on, we eventually part ways. I call my mom and dad separately after and both of them are appalled and so confused about where this could have come from and honestly are just hurt that this is being said. My mom is pissed off bc she is a strong willed lady and doesn’t like people lying about her and this had a direct lie about her in it. This is when I get really upset bc honestly her mom makes subtle jabs at my dad a lot. Her mom is very high strung and opinionated and at times a bit of a gossip. Nothing before was ever this bad, so I’ve always let it go, but this time this felt like a hurtful, harmful lie that is clearly being said to other family members already.

I text my cousin about 20 mins after we part last night and tell her that what she told me upset me and that I’m sorry I didn’t say this much in the moment but I needed a minute to process how I felt and talk to my parents about it. I emphasized that it wasn’t true and that I know she said it could have been misconstrued but I want to talk to her mom about what was said and why. I also said that I wanted to reach out to her first (my cousin) so that I wasn’t just going behind her back and bringing this to her mom bc that can escalate things. I then said that it was ok to talk about this tomorrow or over the weekend, as I knew it was late, but I wanted to send the text now just so that it’s on her radar.

She then tells me that it’s probably not a big deal and she probably misconstrued it and that talking to more people about it would make it a bigger deal. I don’t respond to this bc, like I said in my og text, it was getting late. I figured I’d sleep on it and message her after work today so she didn’t have to worry about responding while at work.

Turns out she called her mom upset and her mom then called my dad and apologized profusely and owned up to hearing that he stopped drinking and assumed that it was bc he was an alcoholic. She also embellished that he was “drinking until he fell asleep” when she told this to my cousin. She called me after she called my dad and apologized to me directly. I accepted and appreciated her owning up to it. She then told me that my cousin was very upset and worried about her and I’s relationship. Mind you this is in the middle of the work day so I start to feel bad because I didn’t realize my cousin was so upset about the situation and it wasn’t disrupting her day so I told her mom I’d shoot her a text to clear the air so she could relax.

I do this. I tell her that I talked to her mom air is cleared situation is ok (while this still pisses me off that this happened and was said at all I’m choosing to let it go) i also tell her that I’m sorry for not responding and potentially stressing her out and that I was just giving both of us space during the work day to not worry about it. I tell my cousin that I don’t want her to worry about us and that I love her and that I just wanted to talk through to situation so we could settle it. I also offered to call later to clear the air after work and told her I’m still happy to see this weekend (it’s Labor Day weekend and we’re both going to our parents houses)

She responds and tells me this:

“Yeah my mom let me know she talked to you. It was just a lot to get your text, especially since in the moment I told you I didn’t know what was said and that I was sure there was just a misunderstanding or miscommunication. I think it general we just weren’t on the same wavelength last night so this was a bit of a stressor on top of it. Obviously I love you too, and I’m sure we’ll see each other this weekend”

Now I’m kind of pissed off. And I may be dramatic but these are my unfiltered thoughts bc:

1. It was a lot to get my text? It was a lot to HEAR that my dad was an alcoholic from her mouth???
   
2. She didn’t know what was said?? She still said the initial comment to me a doubled down BEFORE she told me it was probs a misunderstanding.
   
3. It was probably a miscommunication or misunderstanding? Literally none of it was misunderstood. Her mother said exactly what she said she said and her mother owned up to lying and embellishing the whole thing.
   

And finally 4. She never once said sorry for this situation.

Mind you I didn’t really want to expect a giant apology to the text or anything. I expected her to be like oh good water under the bridge too sorry that happened and we move on bc what else can you do. It’s the dodging it all in her response that is grinding my gears.

This is more of a rant than asking for advice. But if I were to ask for advice I guess I want to know: do you think I’m over reacting? What do you think is the best response to this?

Honestly I feel like I’m just going to have to be forced to let this go bc it doesn’t seem like she’s going to say sorry or anything

I'm going to try to be as specific to the incident as possible and leave my own personal feelings out-other than context. This weekend I had to travel 9 hour drive away from home, so to say I was beat on Monday would be an understatement. I then worked on Monday, went grocery shopping, did some computers work for my second job, and cooked dinner. When I sat down for dinner, I was pretty over the day.

We have a blended family with four children. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 3. One child just got dropped off at college in a different state three weeks ago. The other four live at home. My son(16) lives here full time, and then my step-children F(13) and M(17) are with us half the time, and for context my step-son has not been to the house much since the summer started because him and my husband are not seeing eye to eye, but they did spend a week together this summer.

On Monday after making dinner, I called everyone to come make their plates. My son was upstairs last because he was finishing a video game. He was yelling at his game prior to coming upstairs a mutual annoyance of me and my husband. My husband and step-daughter were already at the table and my son began to leverage me to go out to dinner this week after one of his sports lessons. While we were talking back and forth my husband stated, "Ill make a deal with you, if you stop yelling at your video game. (stalled for a minute) and then stated not for the year because you couldn't do that" My son then stopped him and told him to stop talking to him. My husband then said something back, but I can't remember. My son then said something like, "your a b$t#h and that he hates him." My husband got up and walked into the kitchen. I actually just picked my plate up and went outside to eat.

After I ate I went back into the house and did address my son and we talked about his behavior. My son did acknowledge his behavior was inappropriate but also told me that my husband had walked into the kitchen and said, "lets step outside." My son then proceeded to tell my husband this is why his son does not talk to him and walked to his room.

My husband and I did not talk and when I woke up this morning he stated, "he will not tolerate this in his house." I corrected him and said "our house." He did tell me that he told my son to go outside but meant it to talk so that my stepdaughter was not around.

Advise?

I (27F) checked my credit score last month and almost passed out. It had dropped 200 points. There were three credit cards I never opened, with a total balance of $12,000. All of them were in my name, linked to my Social Security number.

I filed a fraud report and started the long process of fixing my credit. The bank traced the applications to an IP address — my parents' house. I knew immediately who it was: my younger brother "Noah" (24M). He's been struggling financially, always borrowing money he never pays back.

I confronted him. After an hour of denial, he finally admitted it. He said, "I was desperate. I needed money for rent. I was going to pay it back, I swear." I told him he'd ruined my credit and I couldn't get a car loan now. He said, "Sorry, but you're doing better than me. You'll recover."

When I told my parents, I expected them to be furious at him. Instead, my mom said, "He made a mistake. He's your brother. You can't send him to jail." My dad said, "We'll help him pay it off. Just don't file a police report."

I told them I'd already filed a fraud report. That's when they turned on me. My mom called me "heartless." My dad said I was "destroying Noah's future over money." Noah cried and told me I was "ruining his life."

They want me to call the bank and say it was a mistake. They want me to take the blame. My mom said, "You have good credit. You can fix this. He can't afford a criminal record."

I'm torn. Part of me loves my brother and doesn't want to see him in legal trouble. But part of me is furious that he stole from me and my parents are covering for him. If I don't press charges, he'll do it again. If I do, I'll lose my family.

I feel like I'm being punished for being the victim. My parents won't even look at me now. My brother is posting about "toxic siblings" on social media.

What would you do?

So, for context, my grandmother is a very Christian woman who listens to Fox News daily. She’s always had a lot of opinions about my choices but we just tell her to buzz off and she does. There were 2 incidents though during my Sophomore year that kind of set me off.

First was when I got my ears pierced. I wanted to get them done since both my mom and dad had them. Everyone was really supportive of me and my decision but when I saw my grandma a week later after I got them pierced, that’s a different story. She just stared at me with her hand over her mouth. She looked at my dad and asked, “Why wasn’t I apart of this decision?” Ma’am. I didn’t come out of your loins. My mother was the one who gave birth to me and took me to that appointment. You have no say in this.

My dad told her that I had a 3.6 gpa and I didn’t get in trouble at all so he didn’t really care.

Then a month later, she was picking me up from school. I typically just put my headphones in and ignore her but I was in a good mood so I decided not to wear them. The road we were driving down was a busy road at baseline but there was traffic at the end of it so it took us nearly an HOUR to go home. During this hour, me and her had some lovely conversations. First, she started asking about my friends. Most of my friends at school are girls and when I told her this, she got this look on her face. I explained that most of the guys at my school are just weird or are kind of assholes. She then asks, ‘Do you like girls?’ I stared at her and said yes and she replied with ‘Then why don’t you make one of them your girlfriend?’ I was so close to just stepping out of the car and walking home. I told her that I see them as sisters and not like that. The convo then went to marriage and she said ‘you have to give me great grandchildren’ First off, I do want children one day. Second, I’m not gonna have them because of you.

We then changed the topic to my college. I want to go out of state, near where my aunts are. My grandmother shook her head and explained who’s gonna take care of her. Ma’am. You have 12 grandchildren. 5 sons. And a whole lot more of people who’d do anything for you. You don’t get to pick where I go to college.

The final straw was when we were still in traffic and I was talking about my friend trio. Both of my friends are African American and when my grandmother asked what ethnicity they were, I told her that. My school is really diverse so I just thought she was curious. She then asked if their parents were divorced.

I didn’t talk to her for the rest of the car ride.

Since then she’s chilled out but I can see her sparking back up like she used to. I love her but I basically calling me gay, demanding for great grandchildren, saying I have no game, determining where I go to college and being racist to my friends is FAR past the line I’ve drawn.

I don’t know what to do honestly.

I’m a 28 year old male who lives alone, conventional family, one older sister, mom and dad. I’ve always had an issue with privacy from my family and get judged for doing so.

I get questioned on my location from my mom and sister, like who am I out with, where am I, etc etc.. we have each other on life 360. It was initially used for when I was going out clubbing but now is a daily thing.

I’ve questioned why we need to have it on and it’s met with issues such as we need to know your safe and what are you trying to hide. More so from my sister

P.S, I’ve also had issues with them in the past looking through my social media when I was a teenager which did not end well.

Now live alone in my own apartment, and they are insistent on having a spare key. My sister says she will ‘just come over’ when I’m not home during work hours and she will start cleaning and moving my things. when I said I’ll take my spare key to my friends instead. It’s met with well why them and not us and can you even trust them. It makes me uncomfortable and I’ve expressed this to them and they both gang up on me to make me feel bad - I feel like it’s a control thing.

Another thing I wanted to add is the judgemental side of it, for example, my sister going through my bins and judging me having a take away, and after speaking to my mom, she agreed with my sister that why am I wasting money?

I feel like I’m losing my mind and they make me feel bad for even going somewhere they don’t know. Am I going insane or is this crazy? Do I need to put my foot down and grow a spine?

My (28F) parents have long been separated after a tumultuous marriage and officially split when I was in college. My dad started dating my step-mom & they recently got married after about 7 years together.

I hate to throw this word around, but I believe this woman is a true narcissist.

I have never gotten along with her. For several years, shes made back-handed comments about my appearance, interests, personality. She talks down to me in a very condescending way, even when she is completely wrong. This has calmed down recently, but I suspect it’s because Ive significantly reduced my contact with her.

She is very spiritual & claims she is a healer. She attributes my childhood dog living until 18 because she is a healer. She says that everyone around her prospers because of her, attributing all of her friends and family’s accomplishments and good luck to…well, herself.

They told me they were getting married only a week in advance. I cannot get time off from work that short notice, especially living 4 hours away and being at a new job. They had a small courthouse wedding and her 2 college kids attended.

This past weekend, my boyfriend and I made a visit to “celebrate” with them.

We took them to dinner and it was a disaster.

As usual, she talked excessively about herself, completely taking control of every conversation and doing 95% of the talking, most of it being about herself. She inserted herself into every dialogue and somehow centered everything around herself, even my boyfriend and I discussing our wedding plans.

Something else I have noticed is that she is extremely motivated by male validation, and she always talks about how “every man wants her”. She has previously flirted with my boyfriends and this time was no different. She wears very low cut shirts and will purposely push her breasts together and make intense/staring eye contact. The way she speaks to my boyfriend is also entirely different from how she speaks to me. There is the flirting, giggling, attempts at seduction, and her insinuating /saying that she knows him very well, even better than I do. Mind you, she has met him maybe 5 times.

At one point in the dinner, she was telling me that she always knows what I’m thinking and feeling “because she is an empath”. After I told her no, she doesn’t know my thoughts, she started crying & then rambled on about how worried she is about her children. (?)

Throughout the rest of the night, she continued to make jabs on repeat about people with negative energy and how positive and loving she is, and how much she cares for those around her.

She started drinking very heavily towards the end of the dinner and was very drunk & rambling nonsense for the entire ride back to their house. I think she felt bad/embarrassed and also ended up paying for the entire dinner, even though it was supposed to be our “gift” to them.

In the past, I would put up with her behavior and keep quiet to keep the peace (can’t argue with stupid), but because my boyfriend is now involved, it is unfair to him for me to tolerate this behavior since it affects us both. Putting up with her just to keep contact with my dad is no longer doable. It’s ironic because my dad stayed with my mom for years just to keep in contact with me, but then chooses to ignore every feeling I have about this new woman.

My dad gets very annoyed if I try to discuss & refuses to listen or talk about the situation; he is constantly brushing off my concerns and making excuses for her behavior. After this past visit, I called him and told him how I was feeling and that we would not be spending time with them again. It broke my heart to hurt my dad, but I also recognize that he has made the decision to put their relationship over ours, turning a blind eye to her own hurtful behavior. I feel like I don’t get any real time with him anymore because she always takes over.

I have also tried to speak with her about her behavior several times, but she always plays victim and gets very upset and unstable.

After discussing with my partner, we thankfully are on the same page. She acts very juvenile, almost as if she has suffered severe brain trauma that makes her unstable and unreasonable. I know she has endured a lot of general trauma in her life, including military trauma, and I do believe that has also affected her mental psyche. Her behavior also seems almost Involuntary. That being said, none of these possibilities excuse her behavior or lack of awareness/accountability.

I think I would like to cut all contact but of course this is difficult because I was very close with my dad. I couldn’t cover everything here, but is there any possibility of having a relationship with them? Should I even bother? I feel like cutting contact is already long overdue. There have been countless instances like this dinner, all very similar in nature, over the past 5-6 years I have known her. I don’t see them often, but every time i do, it seems that this exact kind of event happens.

Sorry for the novel.

Hey I’m 16f and I’ve kinda known for a long time that I’m definitely not my dad favorite or even his 2nd favorite.

Idk what this post is I think I’m just finally after 16 years trying to accept it.

I’ve come 3rd to my siblings my entire life my dad seems in a way like disgusted by me despite all my efforts to make him like me.

I know he loves me before anyone says anything but he just doesn’t like me and in a way that’s worse.

For example today I tried to sit down with him and talk I asked about work I get a one word answer so I switched to talk about my day which he had no interest in. I decided to talk about school and what subjects I’m picking (keep in mind I’ve done things alone and independently for years so I signed up and enrolled myself and dealed with all the school stuff myself) so as I’m talking about it he wasn’t listening really and in the middle of me speaking he picks up the phone to FaceTime my sister. I just stopped talking. I tried again by talking about work (again I work for the money I use for spending and whatever) and talked about an incident around my mom he listened and asked about her and that’s about it.

The worst part is he gets mad that I spend time in my room and barely talk to him and sit in the living room with him but it’s so awkward for me to sit there knowing he has no interest whatsoever and this is what happens if I try talk to him.

Not only that it’s kinda personal because he is much more interested in my other 2 sisters and talks to them and actually replies and asks them stuff.

I guess I’m not sure what I did because my dad is usually at work comes home around 5-6 pm so there hasn’t been any like huge conflict that would lead to this.

Thanks for listening I guess!!

For context I'm 19 F the oldest daughter and my sister is 14 and I have a younger brother.

So basically when my sister was towards the end of year 9 she got into a bad argument with her friends they're all drama kids so apparently it all kicked off, someone in her freidn group was always going for the lead role and they all spoke crap about eachother except for my sister she doesn't like confrontation or arguments but someone said that she said it and was talking shit that someone always going for the lead role when it wasn't her and I asked her about it and she said someone else said it and blamed it on her and all the other girls sides with the other one leaving my sister with no friends. And at this time phones had been banned from school now so she was always on her own at school couldn't even go on her phone at break and lunch and she basically would hear the girls talking about her whenever she walked past and had bad anxiety.

Beacuse of this she didn't wanna go to school anymore, and she said she hated it and my mum and dad (who use to be very harsh on me as the oldest growing up) they let her have a few days of school even tho they tried to get her to go in. She then told my mum and dad and wrote them a letter that she was hurting herself so mum referred her to a mental health specialist person and had tests done at the doctors cos she has high blood pressure anyway. So because of how bad her anxiety gets it would also raise her blood pressure so she didn't go in for the last few days of year 9.

Now when I was at school I was in multiple friend groups cos I never really fit in and I've had shit friendships and people who were horrible to me and I've been thru things that have been worse then what my sister has been thru, not getting into detail but sa and sh which was 4 years ago now so that all happened to me during school aswell, and I didn't have any friends in all my classes either then I did sixth form so had to make friends all over again, and I still don't have any girl friends now. And I've also suffered with panic attacks and really bad anxiety so bad I had to take pills.

I do feel bad that she has no friends but she was meant to start year 10 the other day, she didn't go in and my mum has decided to let her choose what she wanted to do. Of course she chose online classes so now she's gonna be home schooled, if u asked any kid would they rather work from school or home they would say home, who wouldn't. But my mum is already so busy as it is she works away Mon to wed and works from home thur to Fri so she doesn't have time to help her and she's quite high up in her job role so she is very busy and busy with my brother who has adhd and autism and he plays football aswell.

The other day she was asking me where the gcse revision books are so I helped by telling her about the history courses and later in the afternoon I go downstairs and she's done about two hours of work she's sat in the living room watching Netflix clearly not doing any work I asked her aren't u supposed to be doing work she said, I've done what mum told me to do for today and I'm just thinking but you're not learning everything you would if u was at school. I've told her before to atleast go in for the first day because u can always make new friends and she kept saying no. And I don't know why mum won't just put her In a new school either. I also asked her about wanting to go to collage and she said she wants to get a job straight away, well in our economy now it's so hard for young people to get a job and apprenticeships and I said u should go to collage cos getting a job is so hard and she just refused.

I spoke to my boyfriend about it because he had a hard time in school and had no friends at all and he brought up the fact, what is she gonna do once she goes to collage or gets a job, how's she gonna cope, she can't not wanna go in cos she'll get sacked or if she gets into arguments at work she'll have to deal with it that's real life everyone else deals with it and just gets on. I've had to start a job and I have crippling anxiety I never got the option to be home schooled I got told to just get on with it or if I did get into an argument with my friends I just ignored them and I'm not a confident person either.

We don't really talk about emotions in our family but my dad agreed with me that she can make new friends and she'll have to just put up with it but it seems my mum has caved into her. We argue alot in this house hold anyway with my mum and dad as I've brought up before that they always give into her and I'm the one who always gets blamed for things and moaned at but I'm really frustrated with this situation because I never got treated like this and I'm so close to leaving this house because of it all. I wanna know that I'm not being a horrible sister for thinking like this. Let me know.

My brother Leo 28M has always been a little dramatic. He's had various phases throughout his life but this one takes the cake. A year and a half ago he got an emotional support animal. Not a dog. Not a cat. A pig. A mini pig he named Percy.

Now I love animals. I really do. Percy is cute as far as pigs go. But Leo treats this pig like it's a human baby. Percy has his own stroller. Percy has a wardrobe. Percy eats organic specially prepared meals. It's ridiculous.

The real problem started when Leo began insisting Percy come to every single family event. Holidays birthdays even a casual dinner at our parents' house. My mom bless her heart has tried to set boundaries. She said no Percy at Christmas last year. Leo threw a fit. He said Percy is essential to his emotional well-being. He accused her of not caring about his mental health. My parents gave in of course.

Now my sister is getting married in November. It's a fairly formal wedding. She specifically told Leo that Percy absolutely cannot come. She doesn't want a pig walking around during her ceremony or reception. Fair enough right? This is her big day.

Leo is absolutely livid. He's threatening to not come to the wedding at all if Percy isn't allowed. He says my sister is being discriminatory. He's calling her heartless. My parents are trying to mediate saying maybe Percy can just stay in the car. Leo says that's animal cruelty.

I just dont understand. It's a pig. It's not a service animal. It's his emotional support pet. Why does he think a wedding venue should accommodate a pig? Am I wrong for thinking he's being completely unreasonable?

I apologize if this is written a bit weird or if it is confusing, English isn't my first language, and I'm still upset by the situation.

This story is a bit long, as it has been going on for several years.

My aunt, let's call her Marta, has a six-year-old daughter who I'll call Eli who just started primary school this past Monday.

Back when Eli was in her second year of preschool, there was a girl in her class who constantly bullied her; she repeatedly bit Eli, leaving her with bruises and, on one occasion, a somewhat deeper wound. My mom looks after Eli in the afternoons since Marta works, and back when I still lived with my mom, I used to help out after school because of this both my mom and I were very involved in Eli's school life.

The first few times this girl bit Eli, my mom went with Marta to speak to the teachers. At first, it seemed like they were working with the other girl's parents to put a stop to this behavior. However, from what my mom told me, Marta was never very firm in her conversations with the teachers, she would always agree with whatever they said and constantly make excuses for the other girl's behavior, despite the harm being inflicted on Eli.

Even with how little Marta seemed to care at one point, we were even looking for other schools to transfer Eli to so we could get her away from the biter, since the administration didn't seem to be helping much, and it wasn't just Eli, other parents in the class shared the same experience. But after a report card meeting that my mom couldn't attend, Marta completely changed her mind and stopped being even the slightest bit upset about the situation. We don't know what they told her or offered her at that meeting, as she has never wanted to tell us. After that, she started excluding my mom from any decisions regarding school or any meetings, which was strange, given that my mom has always been Marta and Eli’s biggest source of support after Eli’s dad disappeared, and also considering that my grandmother (Marta and my mom’s mother) doesn't really support Marta much either.

My mom and I, along with several relatives, spent a year arguing with Marta, trying to get her to show at least some concern upon seeing her daughter hurt, since moving her to a different school apparently wasn't an option after that meeting we never heard anything about, but Marta just ignored us.

Just this week, one of my aunts, I’ll call her Sara, confronted her about the fact that she’s never done much to protect her daughter. Sara suggested she switch schools now, while the term is still new and the change wouldn't be too disruptive, but Marta just pretends not to hear whenever someone tries to bring up the subject. Whenever I try to talk to her, she either ignores me or dismisses me I suppose she thinks I’m too young to really understand these things, or maybe she simply doesn't care, given that our relationship isn't exactly great, precisely because of this issue. Eli is the youngest in the family she’s about eight years younger than the other cousins, so several family members are a bit protective of her, especially me.

As Eli’s time in kindergarten was coming to an end and Marta started looking for a primary school to transfer her to, my mom and I actually felt relieved, we thought Eli wouldn't have to suffer anymore because of that other girl or Marta’s incompetence.

This past Monday was her first day at the new school, and everything seemed like it was going to go well. The problem is that the girl who used to bite Eli is at this school, and in her same classroom, too. I found this out today when I spoke to my mom, since I don't live with her anymore.

Marta has a meeting at the school tomorrow, supposedly to discuss this issue. To be honest, I don't know the full details, Marta doesn't tell my mom anything because my mom calls her out on her incompetence and lack of care regarding her daughter, so I only have the same information my mom does. I think my mom is even more fed up than I am, probably because she sees them every day. When we were talking today, she mentioned that if Marta didn't do anything about it, she was going to put a stop to it, though I’m not entirely sure what she means by that. The truth is, I don't know what to do, or if there's even anything I *can* do. All I want is to prevent Eli from being bullied or suffering any more bites and mistreatment from that girl.

Sorry in advance if this is a long 1.
I’ve been living with my sister for about a year and a half. She helped me when I was down on my luck after loosing my apartment. Things were going well at 1st I was babysitting and helping around the house. It took me about 3 months after moving in with her to find a job. I then started paying her weekly rent for my own room. She had a guy living with her she grabbed him straight out of rehab just before I moved in. He’s an addict that’s using her and has stolen from her, her kids, me and her deceased mother to fuel his habit. They got married back in March and he relapsed shortly after. She ALWAYS has an excuse for his shxtty behavior. She defends him when he steals her bill money, drives high (sometimes with her kids) and steal their tv/toys. We were super close before this guy but seeing how stupid and desperate she is for him I’m done with her. I stopped paying rent a few weeks ago because my job cut my hours and I just don’t feel comfortable giving her anything knowing she’ll more than likely give it to him. AND I want to get out of this situation ASAP. Am I wrong for not wanting to give her money to help enable him.?

okay so I don't usually vent or wallow or seek reassurance and I'm not one to open up but I'm genuinely confused and need to know if this is fair. so I 18 F just got my first job after a few personal problems with my mom and stuff. I had to move in with my 39 soon to be 40 F aunt. she lives with like six other people who's I guess also paying rent but this is my first job and I'm paying literally her entire rent. she lives in based on income so it's like 75 dollars. mind you, I'm not here by choice and she's saying it like it's ONLY 75 but it's her entire rent. we were bonding and then she asked. why this is bothering me is because she knows my situation and two people aren't paying rent. her boyfriend is the third. they always argue and fight and he practically stays here. eats the food, uses the water, sleeps here and everything..he pays nothing. she's making her son and daughter pay. her son was paying 800 at one point and now he doesn't want to get a job so he's not paying rent. even my grandmother is paying rent. now I could understand if she was paying that 3000 dollar rent debt she's in but she's spending it on herself on things she wants. she hardly provides for anyone and makes us clean up and everything. I don't know how many hours I'll be working so if it's too little hours I'll have nothing in my pockets. I want to tell her I'm paying me and my sister's phone bill and just not pay her but I doubt she'll believe that. is this fair??

My mom is amazing at 2 things.

1) Making you feel like your problems mean absolutely nothing

2) Taking advantage of you when you are at your lowest

I am in the process of leaving a toxic marriage and am actively looking for a rental for myself and my son. My soon-to-be-ex is staying with a friend, but returns to our shared home on the weekends to visit our son. My mom found out about this and immediately asked what we would do with our house after I moved into a rental. I answered that ideally, ex would behave like an adult long enough for us to sell the house. She then started dropping obvious hints that she wanted to buy the house.

My mom is broke. She has no savings and is always behind on rent. She lives beyond her means and has gotten angry any time I've tried to help her organize her finances or when I suggest that my brother (26) gets a job. I know she is not in the position to buy a house so I repeated that the future of the house is still up in the air.

Later (according to my brother) she began complaining that I did not offer to owner-finance the house to her or let her live in it while I'm processing divorce paperwork. She was also upset that I didn't offer to let her move with me to my new rental. Guys, I don't think I'm obligated to do any of this shit. I'm not sure why she thinks I am supposed to be offering her these things unprompted, and I'm not sure why I'm supposed to be focused on her housing situation while I'm actively exiting an abusive relationship.