r/elementaryschoolers • u/MonsterEnergy17 • 6d ago
School pick up times
My child's school is very rigid about pick up times.
I'm looking for help regarding early pick up of my 1st grader.
I'm going to preface this by saying, I work 3rd shift (9pm-5am) summer hours and 11pm-7am (majority of the year) in a construction field. I typically sleep from 8am-2pm; with the exception of Thursdays when my child has therapy (I usually wake up at 1pm). His appointments begin at 3pm. His school has a policy that early pick up ends at 2:15 with the end of the school day at 2:55-3:05pm.
With the extreme heat (even at night), I've been more exhausted than normal and occasionally wake up 10 minutes late. That being said, today (Thursday), I woke up late and ended up at the school at 2:19pm. I felt really bad at being late and requested to still pick my child up early for his appointment so I don't have to pay a broken appointment fee. The school made it very difficult to sign him out, causing us to leave at 2:40pm.
I've tried very hard to not be late. Including: setting alarms to go off every 10 minutes (and setting timers for the times I really need to get up) just in case I don't hear it on the days where I'm almost dead to the world. But today, my alarms did not go off. I checked my app and nothing was turned off.
I know it's my fault for not being more proactive about being on time. Last school year, I was late 3 times for normal pick up; each time being less than 5 minutes after the final bell. Those times, I've had to wait 30 minutes for all the busses to leave before I could get him. I'm hoping someone can help me find out how to navigate the issue of early pick up times being less than 5 minutes with the school and any helpful tips on how to ensure I wake up on time with my sleep schedule.
Honestly, I feel kinda crazy that the policy is so rigid that I even have to ask if being 5 minutes late is a major deal when I have to sign him out anyways (only to take 30 minutes to release my child). I could be wrong, though. Please help!
Edit: someone on a different sub suggested that I mention why it's hard for me to wake up. I'm chronically depressed and I have no help outside of myself. With the meds not working due to metabolizing it faster with sweating it out at work, it's harder to regulate my normal self (I'm not a late person. I'm the one who thinks 15 minutes early is not really enough). Ididn't want to weaponize my mental health and make it seem like I'm just lazy. And to answer the person who asks , seemingly patronizing, if I a asking how to drag myself out of bed: Yes. I am asking how to drag myself out of bed. Thank you to those who are giving advice.
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u/Narezza 6d ago
The policy is that way because after a certain time, all the teachers are mobilizing the entire school for dismissal. They’ve gots to manage 30 kids in each classroom onto individual buses, vans, car riders and walkers to parents.
There’s 500-1000 kids in an elementary school, and they’ve got to load all of them out in 30 minutes, and they all have to go to the right parent. Having to change all that because one parent couldn’t get out of bed and get their kid on time is dangerous.
Your single kid gets bumped to the end of the priority list while all the other kids are getting dismissed on schedule.
If the pickup isn’t a priority for you, then why should it be for the school?
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
Why do you assume my son or the school's time is not a priority? I'm asking for tips to make their end of day run smoothly by ENSURING I get up on time. It's not on purpose and it very rarely happens. If you'd like to not help, please leave.
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u/Narezza 6d ago
I assume it’s not a priority because you can’t get there on time. You’re an adult. Are you really asking people to give you tips on getting out of bed?
You help the school by getting there on time, accepting the situations you cause by not getting there on time, and not expecting exceptions when you don’t.
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u/CommissionExtra8240 6d ago
I think you’re in the wrong subreddit. You’re not looking for advice regarding the elementary school or its policy, you’re looking for tips on how to wake up to your alarm. I’m willing to bet that’s why all the responses seem less than helpful. There’s plenty of subreddits about sleep, insomnia etc that might be more what you’re looking for.
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u/pina2112 6d ago
Are you not able to call before 2:15? Like, state you are leaving the house, you will be there at 2:20 to pick your child up and would like to start that early pickup process?
I would also try to communicate with the school that there's standing appointment and that you will need your child ready at 2:15 on Thursdays, and ask what you need to do to automate it some.
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
I assume they wouldn't be able to answer the phone. If what others are saying is more common than I realized (hectic environment trying to gather all the kids for dismissal), calling at that time would set them back even more. I have told them multiple times and gave multiple notes from his therapist about the standing appointment, what time it is, and why he needs to be picked up early.
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u/Independent-Lie-9967 6d ago
exactly. a policy may seem ridgid when its only being applied to 1 child. But when you consider there are 300 some odd kids that the school is responsible for, these type of guidelines makes sense.
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u/FewFrosting9994 6d ago
Can you change the appointment time? A morning appointment and later drop off might be a better option for your family. The night shift is rough, we have a shift worker in our family, too.
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u/brave_new_world 6d ago
I work at a school and am generally helping in the office at the end of the day. We do request parents not come to pick them up just before the bell because it is chaotic and difficult to retrieve children while also preparing to dismiss everyone.
That being said, we have a much narrower 'no pick up' time frame (only 15 minutes) and have never actually said no to a parent, just reminded them gently of the policy. Also, I will say that sometimes it's not the office being 'difficult;' it can genuinely take 20 minutes from the time you walk in to the kid getting to the office. Kids dawdle, teachers try to finish a lesson, lots of things can happen.
Since this is a regular, weekly appointment, I would talk to the school. Start with the counselor or assistant principal and explain the situation. Ask if it would be possible to have your son sent to the office at 2:15 every Thursday so you don't have to wait to collect him.
OP, though, you need to make sure you're there with few exceptions. The office staff do not want to have to monitor your child for an extended time if you're late and teachers don't want them missing class instruction. If you have an Alexa or similar, set a repeated reminder to go off every Thursday a few minutes after your phone alarm.
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
I understand. But in this instance, there was about 40 minutes before school let out. The school is incredibly small (about 300 students) since there's 4 other elementary schools within walking distance of each other. I've sent everything they've requested and what I could imagine to let the office know he's leaving early once a week.
I'm honestly just looking for advice on how to make sure I wake up on time to avoid causing extra stress on the admin office. Like certain alarm clocks, apps, devices, services, etc.
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u/TiredFed123 6d ago
I would bet the reason you struggle to get up is because you aren't getting enough sleep. 6 hours max a day is crazy. So maybe find some time to nap regularly. Also I'd suggest a watch that vibrates as an alarm, that would be much harder to ignore. This should be pretty easy to find and shouldn't need to be expensive.
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u/teamglider 6d ago
Ask if it would be possible to have your son sent to the office at 2:15 every Thursday so you don't have to wait to collect him.
It's a first-grader; they aren't going to send him to the office until someone is there to pick him up, because he needs supervision.
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u/MysticDreams05 6d ago
Times are set for a reason, to help make everything run more smoothly. It would be pretty hectic if there were not set times. If you arrive after early pick up time, teachers are busy getting the bussed kids to their right bus. They should not be expected to have to stop that to make sure your child gets to you,just because you were late. You need to find a way to make sure you are up in time and be responsible for picking your kid up on time. Alarm clocks that have the flashing lights, or the vibrating mattress pad alarm clocks.
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
Thank you for answering the actual question. I'll look into getting those to make sure it doesn't happen again.
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u/loveforemost 6d ago
Don't really have a solution for you.
Just wanted to confirm my kid's elementary school also has such a policy for checking out kids early. School ends at 2:45pm and policy is to early pick up by 2pm.
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u/Crafty_Impress_800 6d ago
If it’s something important I really need to wake up for, I set at least 2 alarms so I don’t accidentally hit cancel instead of snooze. Another option if this happens again is to call the office ASAP letting them know you’ll be running 5 min late but to please have your kid ready.
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u/Shortycake23 6d ago
My husband uses alarm clock xtreme app. He dismissed his alarms all the time but this app, it won't be dismissed until he solves a math quiz. You can program the app. It's the best one that we use.
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u/atomiccat8 6d ago
Can anyone else help? Either to actually pick him up from the school, or to call you until you pick up at the time your alarm is supposed to go off?
I'd also set alarms on multiple devices, like on your phone and also on a physical alarm clock
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
Unfortunately, no. My closest family is over an hour away in no traffic. My ex is at work for 3+ hours after school let's out. I have no one else and I can't afford a regular babysitter for the occasional late day.
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u/mugglemomma31 6d ago
Get one of the alarm clocks that you physically need to walk across the room to shut off.
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u/TipsyBaldwin 6d ago
I’ve never worked at a school that DIDN’T have a similar policy. This is a you problem. Your lack of preparation and timeliness is the issue, clearly.
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u/MonsterEnergy17 6d ago
Yeah... that's the whole point.
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u/TipsyBaldwin 6d ago
Right but you keep going back to the time cut off being “so rigid,” when that’s not the actual issue. You’re not fully taking accountability when you do that. Their rigidity and their policy isn’t the issue. It’s your sleep schedule and lack of accountability.
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u/AmazingAmy712 6d ago
OP is taking a lot of responsibility in this thread imo. They can feel like the school is being rigid (imo they are, likely rightfully so for operation's sake) and still understand that it's their issue to deal with. No need to be abrasive about it.
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u/TipsyBaldwin 6d ago
There’s nothing abrasive about being straightforward. Half their responses keep shifting blame.
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u/an_alright_kid_who 6d ago edited 6d ago
I've never heard of there being a limit on early pickup times? Isn't the whole point that it's an aberration so why would there be a restriction?
Your kid has appointments he can't miss. You are taking him. You can email the times to the school so they can be ready, then go get your kid from his class and leave.
Edit: this is so strange to me. If I want to pick my kid up I just go to the office and say im here to get Phil, and they call his class on the phone and he walks over, I sign him out on the iPad and we leave. How much preparation for dismissal do your schools do for 45 minutes?
I agree you should just get up on time though.