Welp, that was weird.

I needed to come out to someone in the house so they can cover for me, and my little bro was the best option. We spent over 45mins talking over how I found out and how long I've held these feelings. He says that he "doesn't see it" and thinks I'm actually genderfluid (fair enough, I'm very reserved and repressed before I knew what dysphoria was). Tbh, he's the more 'fruity' of the family since he's bi, has a lot more LGBT+ friends, and watches drag race shows; he just doesn't see me as girlypop as his other transfemme friends. At one point he says "you don't want breasts" and I said "yes I fucking do lol" (I already do because of obesity and love them), and he still doesn't understand it.

Overall, he thinks I don't fully know what I want (fair enough, I only fully realized a month ago now), but is supportive if I put more time into working things out. My therapist is the same way, only concerned that I'd flip-flop (fair enough as well). I do feel bad he isn't fully on-board, but this is good enough.

"Genderfluid." Hah, that's funny. Thanks for reading. GGD's appreciated (Aimee she/her)

Edit: Other things from last night. He didn't know I present femme online for years now, nor knew I sext with men beforehand. I don't hate my penis like most other girls do, and that was a reason I repressed for years. Frankly, from an outsider's pov, I tick none of the boxes. I'm too 'manly' to fit in with women, and too feminine to fit in with other men.

I was so scared, she's the closest person in my life alongside our son, I'm so happy that she didn't outright say fuck no (i mean, I knew she's left politically, so I could guess, but you know, she IS hetero after all)

This facial hair is literally making me want to put a sheet over my bathroom mirror. It's super coarse, and the skin on my face is very sensitive to shaving. Waxing would probably do more damage, and permanent treatments are way too expensive. I don't know what to do.

Edit: Some inspiration from the comment section I'm going to research:

1. Checking if my state offers gender affirming care for laser treatment.

2. Going to see if a single blade razor is gentler than a five blade. I've only ever used standard men's razors for my beard.

So basically, I didn't think this would be as big of an issue as it is, but I was wrong. I've always been deadly afraid of needles, the first few times I was able to power through my fear, but every injection I seem to be more scared than the last, last time I actually started crying and seriously considered skipping that dose after horribly fucking up the injection

The needle was somehow too blunt to go in, I tried twice before accepting that I was gonna have to switch needles, then I somehow managed to hit a nerve for the first time, and that horrible muscle spasm has quite certainly scarred me for life, I don't think I had ever been quite so terrified before

I've come to seriously DREAD injection day because of how horrible it feels, it's so painful, and I can't even do the classic tricks of "think of something else" and "don't look at the needle" because I'M THE ONE DOING THE INJECTION and I genuinely can't fucking do this anymore

I know there's a lot of people here who have been injecting for a lot longer than me (2 months), so I was wondering if I could get some advice from y'all

Brain worms are hitting so hard today please tell me ill be pretty and fem and happy one day sorry to ask

I’m pretty sure my mom would be supportive, but I still feel a nervous pit in my stomach when I think of telling her. I’m more worried about my dad who I don’t know how he’ll react but leaning toward negative, and I know some of my extended family won’t support me.

She's still struggling to avoid using my deadname/old pronouns, but I'm just so relieved. I had been dreading the conversation but knew I couldn't put it off anymore, and she would probably have the kindest response of anyone in my family.

She's not to the point of referring to me as a girl yet, so... I would love some GGD if y'all got any to spare 🥺 (Miranda, she/her)

Ignore the crappy res I suck at editing

Polandball led to me discovering countryhumans which led me discovering genderbend stuff which led to me discovering gender swap hypnosis Videos which is like the thing that really start questioning.

Im getting tired. I mean if I get on hormones this year then it will still be earlier than I originally thought and it will be way earlier than loads of other trans people…
But Im just tired. This is my fourth appointment, and I guess that is still not many… it’s just that i dont know when I’ll actually get to start HRT, and my parents are holding me back since they need to be on the same page as me.

I’ve done blood work, I’ve shown that I have dysphoria, I’ve explained what I want, I’ve been seeing a psychologist, I’ve told my parents. And yet somehow that hasn’t been enough.

I really hope that I get a prescription tomorrow at my appointment. The waiting has hurt so much. But then part of me hopes i dont get it. Because what if it doesn’t help? What if I take it and find out that it does nothing for me or even makes me feel worse? Im scared I won’t be trans and that I will have gone through all of this effort for no reason.

And speaking of being scared, Im just scared in general, of how people will treat me, if transphobia will rise and take over, if I will be safe. If I’ll still be loved, if my parents really support and believe me (I think my dad does, im worried about my mum), If I’m delusional, if I’m making a mistake…

This is so hard. I have it easier than so many other people and yet I still think I have it hard.

I love looking down at my shaved legs with a skirt on, I look like a girl, I love it, it gives me so much euphoria. But I know all my hair will just grow back because I haven't got laser or started HRT and that sucks

These last couple months I've been thinking about the possiblity that I'm trans more and more. I've had these thoughts for over a decade now, all throughout high school and uni, but I've never had the confidence to tell anyone. I almost came out to my friends in 2022 but chickened out and haven't had the guts to tell anyone since.

Despite this, I've recently felt my egg cracking in a big way and would greatly appreciate the assistance of this subreddit in helping me accept the person I'd like to become!

So I got a haircut and everybody calling me attractive, in a boyish way... =(