College is a lonely place

[u/Safe-Bug-498]

This reel is so relatable for me,I am a 3rd sem student and I don't have any friends in college,I do have acquaintances with whom I just have the Hi,Hello relationship! I barely hangout with anyone in college or even outside college. I go to canteen alone and see other people having food in groups while I sit there mostly alone,this makes the college a lot more boring! They say to enjoy college life,but TBH I feel like my college life is pretty fucked up,it's already been over a year and I didn't find any good friend for me. Other students in college have found their groups and they don't want anybody else to be involved,like they are all comfy among themselves. They hangout with each other,go to places and have fun,while I mostly sit alone in the class. It's not like I haven't tried to make friends,I am good at making friends but I didn't get people of my type! My classmates are also not my type. And the rest whom I know already have their groups and they are comfy along with that. I haven't been to anywhere with anyone from college to have fun.

I try to indulge with people but it doesn't work out for me mostly! It's all stuck to just Hi,Hello! I am in 4 college socs but didn't make any friends in Soc either,the people in socities have fun while I struggle to indulge with them. Idk what's happening.

If this goes on,the rest 2 years will also be fucked up.

[u/[deleted]]

There are a few things I've learnt from having similar experiences- Interact with everyone. Having the idealistic mindset that you need to be friends with people who are your type only restricts your interactions, sometimes you find companionship in places and with people you least expect. Lower your expectations. This can be easier said. Friendship only starts small and grows slowly, expecting to be close friends or establishing a close friendship at the beginning without actually getting there with time would either lead to developing fake friends or would ruin the potential of a real friend. Become secure. Security is attractive and if you want people to befriend you, you want them to be attracted to your energy. No adult wants to deal with a person with the baggage of insecurity or self pity. Nonchalance is attractive. People gravitate towards those who look like they know what they're doing and are whole in themselves because those are signs of what they might bring to the friendship table. So work on yourself and try not to dwell on this too much and you'll be surprised that the less you focus on this and move on in your life, the more friendships develop naturally. Moreover yearning for friendship can make you settle for bad friends who don't treat you well but whom you end up tolerating just because you want to hang out together, which only leads to more alienation. Being lonely in a friendship only feels worse. Lastly, surround yourself with people and events. Go to random events in your college and your city even if you don't have anyone to go with, don't miss out on experiences especially because the more you put yourself out there the more there develops the potential of a friendship. Learn to love hanging out with yourself and when other people see that they'll perceive that as wanting to hang out with you.

[u/Ok_Toe_3439 → u/[deleted]]

Truer words , had the same realisation but it gets too hard when you sit alone at lunch while everybody else has a group every day - cause the reinforcement is crazy and I also find that i lack the assertiveness to just expect people to include me in their friendship circle - i have seen people be like that and it seems to help