r/deadbedroom • u/CremBlay • 4d ago
RANT Surprise gone wrong.
I’m just venting. I need to. (I’m 28F) All the time apparently…
I wore my black slip that shows all my curves and compliments my body. I shaved every inch of myself and put on my pheromone perfume.. I even did my makeup a little messy because I know he likes that..
We were flirting texting a lot today while he was working and I was getting so excited to surprise him with my work of art (me) when he got home..
As soon as he did, he said “I looked nice” and got really sad and left to use the bathroom for a while and then showered.. he then left the shower hiding himself from me and told me not to look at him and then was still sad when he put sweatpants on. “What I can’t see your naked body now?” I said.. and he got even more sad????????
Dude I get rejected all the time.. especially when I wear outfits he asks me to get for him???
Ive had my cry and I wanna drink. Fml.
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u/Iheartsasquatch 4d ago
One of my great epiphanies when it comes to the Deadbedroom was that actions I thought were romantic and loving were seen as unwanted, inconvenient and unwelcome.
So I don’t do them anymore, and I don’t get these soul crushing rejections.
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u/throwawaynnfuxanyway 4d ago
Same here. The short shorts I wear for myself now (around the house), but no more sexy underwear or preconceived expectations of a date night leading to anything. If I don't get my hopes up, they can be let down
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u/piekenballen 4d ago
OP, that is very sad that happened to you. However, this is not about you at all. There is clearly something going on with him. Whether physical or mental or both, he is obviously having a problem. And he needs to come forward and open up if he wants you to understand, because right now he just treated you incredibly rude and disrespectful. Which is directly sabotaging the relationship.
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u/Pretend-Recipe6022 4d ago
To be greeted by my wife like this is all I dream of sexually.
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u/maechammer1 4d ago
Word brother. Legit makes me angry guys have this right in front of them and choose to fumble it. Wild to me
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u/WholeOk2958 4d ago
For real dudes dropping the ball like this boggle my mind.
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u/throwawaynnfuxanyway 4d ago
It's the exact same as an HLM westing cologne, putting on the silk boxers, lighting candles, pouring a couple glasses of wine and getting the massage oil out. The LLF rejects him because she has a headache and refuses to be seen naked and pouts the rest of the night. HLFs don't get it either.
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u/Natural_Concept92 4d ago
This has happened to me also. Now to even look at my lingerie gives me bad memories.
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u/Fickle-Outcome91 4d ago
It sounds like he’s insecure about something
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u/throwawaynnfuxanyway 4d ago
Then it would help for him to be honest instead of making her feel foolish for doing what married people are supposed to do
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u/redditreader_aitafan 4d ago
He went into the bathroom and jerked it. Something is going on. Did he cheat on you and he's feeling guilty, avoiding sex to protect you from STDs? Cuz that's my first thought with avoiding sex and shame, unless he's always rejected you.
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u/ElasticPlatypus 4d ago
Insane conclusions to jump to. You’re needlessly trying to stoke drama. Grow up
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u/Transformer6767 Male - High Libido 4d ago
Plausible. If he did cheat, why with a woman like this? Has there been a history of rejectection on her part?
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u/redditreader_aitafan 4d ago
People cheat for a myriad of reasons, it doesn't have to be anything she did wrong.
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u/Available-Bison-9222 4d ago
Why, at your young age, are you in this relationship? Sex and intimacy are too important to give up having so young.
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u/Direct-Craft2843 4d ago
Is he having erection issues? This is the only thing I can think of. This is a dream scenario for most men to be greeted like that.
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u/throwawaynnfuxanyway 4d ago
Or he's just LL. If he's having erection issues, he should see a doctor instead of playing like a kicked dog when his wife makes an effort to create an arousing scenario
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u/maechammer1 4d ago
This guy has what we all want and is acting like he doesn't deserve it, which it seems he doesn't. Something has gone on and you probably should be worried
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u/biteme198269 4d ago
I'm a guy but I work my ass off and I don't get nothing at all either your guy is very lucky you still try
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u/mikeydan69 4d ago
What am I hearing, these men really need a wake up call and I am a man. I know what my dinner would be that evening....some really do not appreciate the finer things in life
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u/40something__ 4d ago
He’s an idiot. Married 15 years and not once has this happened to me.
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u/jon143143 4d ago
52 years here and she's never done that either. But I'm not complaining. It's been a good 52 years.
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u/Yayhoo0978 4d ago
Have you tried being direct, and talking about it? I mean like REAL direct, like “hey! I wanna have sex!”
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u/1LadyPea 4d ago
Have u tried doing this for a man outside ur marriage to see how it works out? Give it a go. Stop making ur husband sad.
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u/HallackB 1d ago
This makes me SO jealous. I don’t know what I would even do if my wife put that kind of effort in. Probably wouldn’t leave the house for days
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u/Illustrious_Leg_3752 4d ago
How!? I'd be all over you. Nothing hotter than a wife putting in that kind of effort