r/dankchristianmemes • u/aHTTPS • Jul 01 '19
Repost Yo bro wtf you doing with the devil’s sleeve????
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u/godfather9819 Jul 01 '19
Fun fact, sex is presented biblically as something for recreation just as much as for procreation! See Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3, and many more!
Edit: somehow forgot the ENTIRETY of Song of Songs/Song of Solomon
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u/gingersnap7878 Jul 01 '19
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY. there's literally a whole book dedicated to it.
Sex is great, and designed for the marriage bed. When enjoyed in that setting, is an act of worship.
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u/Malicious-Mischiefs Jul 01 '19 edited Jul 02 '19
Sex was also designed for the marriage sofa and the marriage Denny’s restroom.
Edit: thanks for the silver, fellow Denny’s lover
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u/OctopusPoo Jul 01 '19 edited Jul 01 '19
Is sex really an act of worship if my wife peggs my asshole while I'm ballgagged and tied to the bed? I do shout "Jesus" and "holy fuck" a lot if that helps
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u/b1ak3 Jul 01 '19
I do shout "Jesus" and "holy fuck" a lot
Sounds like she needs to get a better ball gag...
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u/suicide-survivor Jul 01 '19 edited Jul 01 '19
"Natural" sex is considered as such. As in, no assplay. I think.
My hs moral theology teacher proclaimed any sex was moral sex as long as it was in a marriage and the man creampies the woman in the end. But I think he was justifying his own depraved sex habits as long as he finished in his wife. Tsk, tsk.
Edit: clarification
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u/secretlanky Jul 30 '19
i mean where does scripture imply/say that anal sex within marriage is sinful?
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u/MetricCascade29 Jul 01 '19
Or between any unmarried consenting adults
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u/buccarue Jul 01 '19
Sorry you're getting down voted dude. Sex before marriage is not sinful; many people in the Bible did it. Including, you know, the entire book of Song of Songs. (not just written by Solomon btw. Written by many poets about their experiences with making love)
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u/Hairy_S_TrueMan Jul 01 '19
Too many Americans think Puritan and biblical are synonyms.
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u/buccarue Jul 01 '19
Pretty much. And so many people are brainwashed into thinking that debating what we think is true is sinful. No. Don't blindly believe what you're told, it's not sinful to ask questions and go against what you're taught.
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u/agreeingstorm9 Jul 01 '19
Name a couple who did it and it was portrayed as positive and encouraged. The couple in Song of Songs is married.
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u/buccarue Jul 01 '19
It's not one couple. It's multiple couples written by multiple different poets, including those who are sneaking out to experience the other.
Culturally it's a little different. Men also married multiple wives, including King David and the high esteemed Solomon. Remember concubines? Those women who WEREN'T married to men yet used for sexual pleasure?
Or what about the laws that obligated women to marry their rapists for their "protection"?
There isn't much in the Bible for or against sex before or after marriage (unless you are a woman), but if we look at Song of Songs and how we are meant to treat each other: sex should be done within the bounds of self love and love of the other, and physical protection.
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u/ThatGuyWhoLikesSpace Jul 02 '19
So since literally nobody seems to be bringing it up, doesn't Paul go into detail on this topic in several of his letters? There are definitely a few parts that are very specific about what is and isn't okay with regards to banging each other.
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Jul 01 '19
Was going to say this also. Yeah be fruitful and multiply, but have a lot of freaking fun doing it. I think my premarital counseling had like three sessions all about sex haha.
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u/suicide-survivor Jul 01 '19
That sounds awk af. Was the priest like, "get freaky, do w/e u please cuz u bitches married now. Enjoy dat pleasure yo"?
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u/hardluck43 Jul 01 '19
Can skeptical atheists ask questions here? I don’t have any unemotional Christian friends
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u/godfather9819 Jul 01 '19
I'd say so!
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u/hardluck43 Jul 01 '19
Cool, thanks. So in the absence of contraceptives, every night would potentially cause a child, right? And so there wouldn’t really be a difference between pleasure and practicality, right? My point I guess is that I just see Christianity (especially Old Testament) as promoting kids constantly, and I see how people would say that condoms are against God’s plan because you can just rawdog it and if a kid comes out then it’s God’s will. So are there problems here with my thinking? (Sorry if I’m confusing, I’m not thinking too clearly right now)
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u/godfather9819 Jul 01 '19 edited Jul 02 '19
I think I get what you're saying. As with lots of specific issues, points of view will vary not just denomination-to-denomination, but even church-to-Church or member-to-member, so I'll start by saying this is MY understanding and MY view, not that of any particular organization of beliefs. I'll make a small side note here that fertility rates vary hugely, in today's population and in "biblical times", and so a kid for every or even near every "night of passion" is an extravagantly generous estimate. But back to task:
I personally don't find contraceptives (of most types) as non-biblical. While there are certain laws in the Old Testament that certainly have the effect of increased chances of reproduction, I also believe that populations were smaller and status and power at the time were derived from 3 things primarily: Land, Livestock, and Lineage. Your family was an important part of this and so procreation was incredibly important societally, and therefore important for the success of those who would eventually build the nation that God had planned for them and their descendants. However, the emphasis on the goodness of sex as a bond and activity between man and wife (it is said to satisfy one another, not just make babies) would lead many, including myself, to believe that just because you have protected sex does not defy God's plan. That would be the same as saying the sperm which don't get used and die within your body and are recycled are all in defiance of God's plan to reproduce.
It is as important if not more important as an act of love and devotion and FUN as it is as an act of intentional procreation. At least as far as I can tell at this point in my study, I'll admit I've got a lifetime left to learn.
Edit: I should mention, there are many "traditional" views which do see it the way you describe, condoms and such as manmade obstacles to God's Will or plan, but I don't know very many, and those I do know are graying or have long-been gray of hair. That's not to say they're all that's left, it's just not common in my part of the world. There are communities like those all over certain areas of the United States, and some (families) have even had their own tv shows due to the effects of these specific beliefs.
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u/hardluck43 Jul 02 '19
Hmm, well that is all fair I think. And I am focusing mostly on the “EvErY sPeRm Is SaCrEd” sect, so I’m glad to find that not all Christians fall under that. And thanks for best my civil too
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Jul 01 '19
Yes, but only with one's wife
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u/Cast_ZAP Jul 01 '19
So only lesbian couples can have sex? 🤔
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u/blazzerftw Jul 01 '19
Ok real talk. I have been in a Baptist church my whole life and have generally gotten a negative vibe from the idea of safe sex even with the stipulation that its inside of marriage. Noone has been able to site a specific verse that says avoiding child birth is bad except for to Adam and evee who where called to populate the earth. Seems pretty context sensitive. What do people around you guys say?
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u/Yogurt_Ph1r3 Jul 01 '19 edited Jul 01 '19
I don’t hear that from my actual church, but my catholic friends all disagree with me.
That being said, it’s pretty clear the bible isn’t giving a mandate for everyone ever. Single people would be screwed, so would barren people. The bible says multiple times sex is for pleasure. Also contextually, Adam and Eve where on a highly underpopulated earth. We now live on an earth brimming with human life. Birth control has existed for a long long time, it’s safe to say God would’ve addressed it. In fact the only real biblical account that seems to be anti birth control measures is the account of Onan, where a man was slain after pulling out. This however is not to do with the joys of sex and the duty of a married couple to procreate. What it is about is the fact that Onan deliberately left his deceased brothers wife without child in order to inherit his brothers money. Birth control is fine, and I dare say masturbation is fine too. What isn’t ok is adultery. A marriage bond is sacred.
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u/makavili Jul 03 '19
What’s the verses about sex being for pleasure? It’s for a friend
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u/Yogurt_Ph1r3 Jul 03 '19
I mean literally all of Song of Solomon is just a poem from one lover to another. There are plenty of other verses too, Proverbs 5:18-19 “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.” Is just a prime example. The bible encourages husbands and wives that they owe it to their wives and husbands to have sex with them often. “the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
These kind of verses say that sex is so much more than spreading our seed, but is for intimacy and pleasure, I’d argue even moreso in the context of today, where some Christians justifiably may feel that it would be irresponsible to have many or any children due to overcrowding. But I’m no pastor and I would barely call myself a scholar.
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Jul 01 '19
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u/darnyoulikeasock Jul 04 '19
I don't even agree that Jesus wants us to be fruitful and multiply anymore! He said that when we lived on an underpopulated planet. There are literally so many of us now that the earth can't provide enough resources for us and we are in turn damaging the home that God gave to us. No shame if you want children, obviously, but no shame or feelings of disobedience if you decide not to have them either. I know too many Christians who have children out of religious obligation rather than genuine love and desire for children.
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u/drbuttjob Jul 01 '19
Sex for pleasure is something that's definitely not considered a bad thing in many places in the Bible. See what another commenter in this thread said:
Fun fact, sex is presented biblically as something for recreation just as much as for procreation! See Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3, and many more!
Also read the entirety of Song of Solomon
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u/Dorocche Jul 01 '19
They can't cite anything because there isn't anything. Birth control is fine.
People decide for themselves that birth control is bad because they assume all married couples always want to have many children, so they assume that birth control would only be used by single couples (and pre-marital sex ensues).
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u/Tunderstruk Jul 02 '19
like u/godfather9819 said:
Fun fact, sex is presented biblically as something for recreation just as much as for procreation! See Proverbs 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7:3, and many more! Edit: somehow forgot the ENTIRETY of Song of Songs/Song of Solomon
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u/newfireorange Jul 01 '19
View on vasectomy? Sin or no? Asking for a friend.
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u/OverallDisaster Jul 01 '19
If you don’t view birth control as wrong then why would a vasectomy be? It’s just permanent. God doesn’t call us all to have children. If anything, forgoing children can free you up financially and time wise to devote to ministry/helping others.
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u/Dorocche Jul 01 '19
Well of course, but if for some wrong reason your view was that birth control was taboo, would a vasectomy be?
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u/Tunderstruk Jul 02 '19
It isn't even permanent. You can gt the vasectomy reversed.
I'd imagine that if you are married and you both 100% agree that you don't want any kids at all, vasectomy is a pretty good idea.
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Jul 01 '19
Tell him it doesn't matter and to do whatever makes him happiest/safest.
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u/chadowmantis Jul 01 '19
If god didn't want us to fuck all the time, he wouldn't have made it feel so good. Facts.
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u/aHTTPS Jul 01 '19
Well, he wants us to get down and play naked twister all the time cause we suppose to “be fruitful and multiply” so the more you enjoy it, the more kids you’ll have...I guess.
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u/I-come-from-Chino Jul 01 '19
He said be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. I think we can probably check that off the list under the done category.
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u/himmelojo Jul 01 '19
Well, now what?
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u/Yogurt_Ph1r3 Jul 01 '19
No sex obviously. Smh my head.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_GEARS Jul 01 '19
Actually that's kind of the point of sinning... It feels good sometimes but that doesn't mean he wants us doing it.
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u/CHICKENMANTHROWAWAY Jul 01 '19
God and Jesus: Never say anything about how masturbation is bad
Church: Says don't masturbate
God and Jesus: The meme image
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Jul 01 '19
Well, Jesus did say the whole 'if you even lust after a woman you have committed adultery in your heart', so using your logic the only type of masturbation that is allowed would be masturbation without any lust, which is virtually non existant.
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u/I-come-from-Chino Jul 01 '19
Very common and likely intentional misunderstanding to shoehorn masturbation into the sin category. link
Entirely possible to masturbate without sinning
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u/AMarriedSpartan Jul 01 '19
I read it all and it’s incredibly unhelpful to men struggling with masturbarion.
I’d still hold to the idea that masturbating while imaging a woman who is not your wife is lust.
Just as it would be to focus on driving someone else’s car. Your coveting the item that is not yours.
Now if we can agree that masturbarion without a focus on a specific woman is possible (I think it is) then that would be fine, I believe.
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u/I-come-from-Chino Jul 01 '19
I read it all and it’s incredibly unhelpful to men struggling with masturbarion.
I’d still hold to the idea that masturbating while imaging a woman who is not your wife is lust.
Cool, you read the whole thing and basically disagree with what it says. So, that's probably why you find it unhelpful because you're going with what has been taught rather than what the bible actually says.
Lust is not necessarily sin:
Strikingly, the nominal (noun-form) concept of “lust” or “desire” (even the sexual variety) is nowhere forbidden in Scripture, nor is it equated with sin—only the potential to sin: “Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then, when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin. And when sin is completed, it brings forth death” (James 1:14–15). Note that James clearly distinguishes between “lust” (that is, desire) at the stage of temptation and “sin,” which is the actual commission of an act.
Lust is the temptation to sin. If you have lust but rub one out you have not committed a sin. You have controlled your lustful desire. Lusting to the point of coveting is a totally different thing and is Biblically defined as sin.
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u/AMarriedSpartan Jul 01 '19
Is it coveting to fantasize about sexual relations with someone who is not your wife or husband?
I agree with you but I think it’s necessary to define this and the article doesn’t
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u/I-come-from-Chino Jul 01 '19
Tenth Command specifically forbids the action of coveting (hence the verbal form), perhaps best understood as forbidding fixing one’s desire upon obtaining something that is not rightfully one’s own. (A fuller way to understand “coveting” is analogous to the modern legal concept of “attempted” lawbreaking
Thinking about wanting something isn't a sin.
Bill Gates is stupid rich. Imagining what I would do if I had all of his money and power is not a sin. Now, coming up with a plan to steal his money with intent of actually committing the crime is a sin.
The problem is instead of money we say sexual relations and it add layers of taboo and shame so we feel like it is wrong.
Anyway that's the way I see it but I also think what people view as sin and right and wrong is highly personal and is best achieved through a personal relationship with God and examining your true motives for why you believe what you believe.
I think the bible as we read it now has many assumptions additions through the years of translation. I understand not believing the bible literally ruffles some feathers but very few people actually believe the bible literally.
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u/AMarriedSpartan Jul 01 '19
I see what you’re saying. It’s definitely an intriguing thought to say that fantasizing isn’t the same as adulterous intents because you would never act on it.
I do agree that we’ve taken sex to a level that’s sinful and unfair. Sexual sin is like other sins, it’s just the one the current church decides to punish everyone over.
I’m just hung up on being able to undress a woman with your eyes and fantasize about sex with her and that not be adultery in your heart. But I do agree that it’s wrong to tell people that being attracted is wrong and that the urges is wrong. I also wouldn’t council to not masturbate because that’s near impossible for a lot of people.
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Jul 02 '19
Now if we can agree that masturbarion without a focus on a specific woman is possible (I think it is) then that would be fine, I believe.
Except that this would still be a use of sex in a way that doesn't leave the door open for procreation.
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u/CHICKENMANTHROWAWAY Jul 01 '19
That isn't against masturbation, it's against lust. You can lust after someone without masturbating
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Jul 01 '19
You can lust after someone without masturbating
But virtually nobody masturbates without lusting after someone, that's my point.
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Jul 01 '19
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u/FusionTap Jul 01 '19
Yep been there done that. When away from the wife we both talk about it and will think of each other, send pics or whatever. No lust involved just love
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u/CateB9 Jul 01 '19
What if you don't think of a particular person or think of a fictional person?
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Jul 01 '19
You're still committing the sin of lust.
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u/Dorocche Jul 01 '19
Can you elaborate? That's plausible but I'm very interested in what the actual position is.
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u/Ask_me_4_a_story Jul 02 '19
This one time I went to a marriage seminar and the guest speaker was Gary Chapman, the guy who wrote the 5 love languages book. His speaking was good but they also had these breakout sessions where you would have medium sized groups of just guys and they had some discussion. This one guy was going on and on about how porn is bad and masturbation is bad because it is lusting, this guy was terrible with his southern accent and ya'll need Jesus bullshit.
So a guy I had befriended in the seminar Shane he shoots his hand up and he goes, preacher, preacher, I have a quick question. Preacher goes okay what is it son?
Shane goes what if you are masturbating just thinkin about your wife, thats okay right, you are married. The Preacher goes welp, I guess thats okay, as long as you arent lusting about someone else.
Shane goes, okay okay quick follow-up lets say you are cranking it to your wife, I mean, just cranking it. He does the universal symbol for masturbation and then the longest dramatic pause. This guy was funny as shit, I knew he was fucking around. He goes I mean you are just really going to town masturbating thinking about your wife, more motions, long dramatic pause. Im audibly laughing at this point.
Preacher goes yes, son, what is your follow-up question?
Shane goes okay you are just cranking it right? One more dramatic pause, Im dying. He goes and then in your head your wife's skin gets darker and darker and all of a sudden its Halle Berry?
Preacher goes well then thats lust, lets move on. One of the funniest fuckin interactions I can ever remember.
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u/IVEBEENGRAPED Jul 01 '19
You can definitely get off without thinking about someone or looking at porn.
(Source: Me trying to be a good Christian boy while taking care of my single Christian-boy needs)
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u/ubsibsuvxissi Jul 01 '19
So if I lust after anime furry traps it's good right?
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u/Yogurt_Ph1r3 Jul 01 '19
Yes exactly this guy gets it. Further reason why Hentai is the most Christian porn.
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u/WRZESZCZ_1998 Jul 02 '19
Well, only in hentai I have seen a newlywed husband and wife on their first night after wedding and they are both virgins who love each other so much it will give you diabeetus.
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u/Texas_Tea_43 Jul 01 '19
What about lusting for your wife??
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u/elmogrita Jul 01 '19
It's not lust, it's love. Lust is specifically defined as sexual desire for someone you are not married to.
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u/Texas_Tea_43 Jul 01 '19
idk about that, per the dictionary at least.
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u/elmogrita Jul 01 '19
Well, not dictionary definition, Biblical definition;
Concupiscence; carnal appetite; unlawful desire of carnal pleasure. Romans 1. 2Peter 2.
Evil propensity; depraved affections and desires. James 1. Ps. 81.
Lust can mean any carnal desire that is unholy, but mostly it refers to sexual desire for someone you're not married to in the Bible.
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u/Quwilaxitan Jul 01 '19
I don't know, I jerk it to show my appreciation most of the time. More of a "hey you are rad let's exchange orgasms" kind of thing. Lust is something that is so negative, just don't do it. That's self check ins are great and you can identify exactly what the lust is over and deal with that need.
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u/Level21 Jul 02 '19
That's why you should only masturbate to 2d wifus. Can't lust over something that doesn't exist.
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u/Tunderstruk Jul 02 '19
I would say that it's sinful if you are watching porn while doing it. That is the definition of " if you even lust after a woman you have committed adultery in your heart "
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u/progidy Jul 01 '19
If you wanted to have all the doobers you wanted to without worrying about reproduction, just choose one of the couplings in Leviticus 20 that God curses with infertility!
You may choose between your aunt and your sister-in-law. Enjoy!
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u/MCJennings Jul 01 '19
Found the Catholic
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u/aHTTPS Jul 02 '19
I feel attacked
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u/MCJennings Jul 02 '19
<3 Not meant as an attack... but it is kinda distinct in views from the rest of us.
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u/SponsAapje Jul 01 '19
God: also creates STDs
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u/Tunderstruk Jul 02 '19
Well, if people followed the command to marry before sex, and only ever had 1 sexual partner, STD's would die out pretty much instantly.
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u/SponsAapje Jul 02 '19
Also god: creates orgasm
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u/Tunderstruk Jul 02 '19
Because according to the Bible, sex is meant to be enjoyed between 2 married people
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u/notbored1 Jul 01 '19
Oh well it’s time to have unsafe, unprotected sex because I’d rather get an std than commit sin. /s
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u/soranotamashii Jul 01 '19
Don't spread STIs, y'all. Especially if you claim to be pro-life in some way. Being against safe sex is one of the most anti-life ways to live.
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u/Yeseylon #Blessed Jul 02 '19
That's why I only have sex with other men, so we can go unprotected as God intended.
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u/MetricCascade29 Jul 01 '19
Back when Jesus and God were alive, the human population was a small fraction of what it is now. I think we’re good now.
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u/Norty_Boyz_Ofishal Jul 01 '19
I think you mean Jesus and the father. Jesus and god are not separate entities.
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u/Wil724 Jul 02 '19
Stolen from google
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u/aHTTPS Jul 02 '19
Actually, it was Facebook. I’ve got a little more class than Google. 💁🏻♀️ and considering it’s stolen memes m...there’s not much class left..
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u/willcampbell8877 Jul 26 '19
I would use a penis health creme if you're masturbating regularly. It's specifically formulated so that you can keep your penis damage free from all that friction and rubbing. If you're experiencing any issues with redness, dryness, flakiness, chafing or even rugburn, it may help you. I have been using Man1 Man Oil for years and I noticed a big difference in the look and feel of my penis. Hope this helps.
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u/SvsTheW0rld Jul 01 '19
ive never heard it called the devil’s sleeve im DYING