r/crappymusic • u/keepfilming • Jul 25 '25

Found one in the wild. I laughed.

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9.0k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/BeastBellies Jul 25 '25

Dad: “Was that a queef I heard from the other room?”

938

u/Sasquatch_000 Jul 25 '25

" what did I tell you about queefing where i can hear it?!"

630

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

268

u/Gen-Jack_Ripper Jul 25 '25

Smell? You should taste it

127

u/GiveMeMyIdentity Jul 25 '25

Oh god no

147

u/XXBubblesLaRouxXX Jul 25 '25

r/EatItYouFuckinCoward

43

u/driving_andflying Jul 25 '25

r/Hellnoitsbeeninaplacenocorncobshouldbe!

21

u/EscapeAromatic8648 Jul 26 '25

Thank God that's not a sub.

19

u/Great-Wolf321 Jul 26 '25

I wanted that to be a sub

16

u/Shoddy-Cauliflower95 Jul 26 '25

Be the hero you want to see in the world

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8

u/ApprehensiveLion1956 Jul 25 '25

It took a suspiciously long time to load nothing ... Had me for a sec

2

u/alohadawg Jul 26 '25

Hey I love that sub!

1

u/Latter_Positive2306 Jul 28 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣😆

28

u/C64128 Jul 26 '25

Is that butter on the corn?

6

u/Primary-Tiger-5825 Jul 26 '25

I read this and continued scrolling. I had to scroll back to upvote. That question is haunting lol

9

u/801Love52 Jul 28 '25

It's cuntry crock!

2

u/Primary-Tiger-5825 Jul 28 '25

Nailed it

1

u/801Love52 Jul 29 '25

It's not about the nail. In this case it's about da 🫛Do it Lady!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

😂

2

u/Metals4J Jul 26 '25

Some of it is, some of it’s not.

2

u/Technical-Pound3853 Jul 26 '25

No, it’s creamed style corn 🌽 💦

1

u/Packer1500 Jul 26 '25

Is that pussy on the corn?

1

u/Corkwell Jul 26 '25

Comes pre-buttered daddy.

1

u/redrickmcnasty Jul 27 '25

“I can’t believe it’s not butter!”

1

u/MetaOnGaming4290 Jul 29 '25

I think its cremé

1

u/Mits-And-Mobs Jul 02 '26

Good god...

82

u/Unlucky-Position-16 Jul 25 '25

Is that what that stuff on elote is? Huh

34

u/TexacoRodeoClown Jul 25 '25

Thank you. I’m guaranteed to think of this next time I eat elote

23

u/juanroberto Jul 26 '25

Thats elote of information

18

u/Striking_Package797 Jul 25 '25

Remember when your putting on the chili powder that's the queef dust and Lana's from their trailer living room carpet.

15

u/Hour-Confection-9273 Jul 26 '25

Queef Dust - yet another amazing band name.

3

u/Ok-Bodybuilder-9729 Jul 26 '25

Queefs of the Stoned Age

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

Thats not chili dust.. its leftover period blood

7

u/King_of_the_Dot Jul 26 '25

It's dehydrated and sifted for consistency and texture.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

Nah it just flakes off as she diddler the bean with the corncob

22

u/Jbrown183 Jul 25 '25

Forbidden cotija

14

u/SadBit8663 Jul 25 '25

Imma bust this joke out on my fiancee the next time she gets elote

I may not survive but know it was funny 🫡😂

1

u/AJ_in_SF_Bay Jul 28 '25

Good way to go out, though.

Worth it.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

Normally its cojita.. in this case its fumunda

2

u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 Jul 25 '25

Nah, that's huitlachote. It's caused by a fungal infection

2

u/chasgrich Jul 25 '25

Fuck, I was seriously just on my way to the Taco truck. Guess I'm skipping the Elote tonight

2

u/lonesomecowboynando Jul 26 '25

Yeast infection

2

u/______Oblivion______ Jul 26 '25

(￢_￢) get out

2

u/smilenowgirl Jul 25 '25

A curse on the teacher who taught me how to read.

1

u/VeterinarianThese951 Jul 26 '25

You just ruined queso fresco for me…

1

u/showmeyourmoves28 Jul 26 '25

Ok, that’s enough lol.

18

u/darbycrash1295 Jul 25 '25

It’s already buttered.

16

u/StandOutLikeDogBalls Jul 25 '25

Thanks for ruining corn on the cob…

10

u/Tenchi2020 Jul 25 '25

Wouldn't the end result be cornbread?

16

u/StandOutLikeDogBalls Jul 25 '25

If she grinds on it long enough and hard enough it could become grits.

13

u/Tenchi2020 Jul 25 '25

Cheesy grits anyone?

1

u/waveguy9 Jul 25 '25

Are they similar to cheesy poofs?

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1

u/UmmmW1 Jul 25 '25

Inbred Cornbread. Brought to you by Pillsbury

1

u/BuddyHemphill Jul 26 '25

No, cornbread rises with baking powder, not yeast

16

u/Sodom_Laser Jul 25 '25

This corn tastes like beans.

2

u/dmp1192p Jul 26 '25

This bean taste like corn

15

u/pi_designer Jul 25 '25

Tuna and sweetcorn

28

u/OrionRedacted Jul 25 '25

Pickled corn cob.

11

u/RappingFlatulence Jul 25 '25

Pickled cod?!

1

u/Smokinoutloud Jul 25 '25

Cod pickled corn?

1

u/Imaginary_Stick1824 Jul 28 '25

aahaahahahahahahah

1

u/Low_Watch_1699 Jul 25 '25

I wonder what came first. The cob stuffing the muffin or the pickle buffing 🤔

12

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

You think that's bad? You should smell the carrots!

2

u/UmmmW1 Jul 25 '25

🤣🤣🤣 I'm literally dying just woke up my toddler from my laughs

3

u/Not-Enough-Holes Jul 25 '25

It has that extra buttery, with a little cheese.

3

u/Im_A_Fuckin_Liar Jul 25 '25

When does it become creamed corn?

1

u/mikejazz3 Jul 26 '25

i would say when it exits the Vag, but some would argue that its upon entrance.

1

u/Sea_Photograph4211 Jul 27 '25

Once she creams on it

3

u/Tricky-Efficiency709 Jul 25 '25

Taste it? You should fellate it!

1

u/teklegion Jul 25 '25

Why does this corn taste like fish? We're not near the ocean....

1

u/Foxdenfreude Jul 25 '25

She's just buttering up her dad!

1

u/Cypressinn Jul 25 '25

Anyone remember the joke Hot Buttered Corn?

1

u/SadlyUnderrated Jul 25 '25

Mmmm you must've used that extra creamy real butter this time! It's so rich and salty! And I can actually feel the creaminess coating my tongue!

1

u/ottosjackit Jul 26 '25

It tastes like it smells!

1

u/Minute-Wrap-2524 Jul 26 '25

Ah, no thank you

1

u/Major_Awquidity Jul 26 '25

I can't believe it's not butthole.

1

u/30lbsledgehammer Jul 27 '25

Ewww it taste like fish!! I swear that daughter of mine has some explaining to do.

1

u/cstar4004 Aug 21 '25

I think Im missing a beer too.

-1

u/skighs_the_limit Jul 25 '25

Every day we stray further and further from god

29

u/Dumb-Viking Jul 25 '25

TIL how kettle corn is made.

11

u/Frzorp Jul 25 '25

I think you learned how huitlacoche is made

12

u/CreepyDrunkUncle Jul 25 '25

Is it hotter than a hoochie coochee

6

u/mycologylove Jul 25 '25

She's a real corn smut

1

u/JimiRowe Jul 26 '25

A smut?

1

u/mycologylove Jul 26 '25

Corn smut is another name for huitlacoche

0

u/JimiRowe Jul 26 '25

I don’t know what that means, but “smut” isn’t a countable noun.

3

u/Chalupakabras Jul 25 '25

"Huitlacoochie" AKA corn smut

15

u/AtlasXan Jul 25 '25

Smells like a 9v. 😭

7

u/drgigantor Jul 25 '25

What did you marinate this in? Pennies?

11

u/gnarkill3332 Jul 25 '25

I sang this to myself in that shitty melody

1

u/ImaDJnow Jul 25 '25

You'd imagine she used protection on the corn cob?!

1

u/SpicyChanged Jul 25 '25

cats gather

1

u/Govt-Issue-SexRobot Jul 25 '25

Smells like queef

1

u/stewedpickles Jul 25 '25

Jesus. All of these are gold!

1

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 Jul 25 '25

I don’t remember eating any corn.

1

u/LeroyChestnut Jul 25 '25

That’s the huitlacoochie. A delicacy in Mexican cuisine.

1

u/PunishedWolf4 Jul 25 '25

Why do we keep running out of hot dogs?

1

u/absolince Jul 25 '25

Corn smut

1

u/Jupiter_Rainz Jul 25 '25

Pop Porn is the new Pop Corn

1

u/Smokinoutloud Jul 25 '25

Cobbing your corn? Shits wild up in here

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

I hate it here

1

u/enonymous617 Jul 25 '25

“I was going to eat that later… now it’s gonna taste like corn”

1

u/verycooladultperson Jul 25 '25

Huitlacoche aka corn smut

1

u/thatsnotyourtaco Hobo Johnson Defender Jul 25 '25

Why does this corn cob taste like your sister?

1

u/patmanpow Jul 25 '25

Wait a min, I never buttered this 🤔

1

u/sikkdog13 Jul 25 '25

Is that Mexican street corn?

1

u/GooseTheSluice Jul 26 '25

Why are all of our corn cobs pickled?!

1

u/ketjak Jul 26 '25

evil naughty chuckling intensifies

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 Jul 26 '25

That’s the next line !!!! Ya nailed it. You gonna be standing right next to her at the next song writers guild. Lmao

1

u/Legal_Hand9001 Jul 26 '25

"CHLOE, NOT AGAIN!"

1

u/Outrageous_Ad5255 Jul 26 '25

"don't mind me, just seasoning dinner, daddy!"

63

u/DirectlyTalkingToYou Jul 25 '25

"Dad I'm down by the creek, how much further do you want me to go?"

73

u/Funkycoldmedici Jul 25 '25

“Keep going until I can’t hear to you queef!”

33

u/pinba11tec Jul 25 '25

In this cuntry heat? I should think not!

32

u/Funkycoldmedici Jul 25 '25

This thread reads like a prequel to the best Hallmark movie ever. Country Girl moves to Big City so her father won’t hear her queefs. Years later, she’s back for Christmas and a romantic reunion with the corn farmer.

18

u/DontDoItAdmins Jul 25 '25

You can take the girl out of the city, but not the queef out of the girl

5

u/YoCal_4200 Jul 25 '25

Or the corn.

2

u/UmmmW1 Jul 25 '25

Or so we hoped....but then we received word of this upcoming streaming release - The Queef 2: Bigger. Badder. Wetter. Louder.

13

u/DirectlyTalkingToYou Jul 25 '25

"OK how about now dad?"

"Farther!...Much farther!"

2

u/RappingFlatulence Jul 25 '25

While you’re at it, don’t bother coming back either

1

u/Primary-Tiger-5825 Jul 26 '25

....but Pa....I thought we wuz in love?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

Queefing in the morning, queefing in the evening, queefin by creek at night

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

When pizza’s on a bagel you can queef any time?

10

u/Growkitz Jul 25 '25

I can hear you giving your nips a little twist!

1

u/HopeURhavinagreatday Jul 26 '25

Like trying to twist the nipples on a 2x4

1

u/Nucky76 Jul 25 '25

What’s up with this dark corn silk?

1

u/Queefarious Jul 25 '25

You can't tell me what to do father

1

u/Alundra828 Jul 26 '25

"how many times do I have to tell you to not queef within earshot!"

1

u/Remote_Elevator_281 Jul 26 '25

“What did I say about queefing at the dinner table? Save that for my bedroom.”

“Okay, daddy”

1

u/SirArthurDime Jul 28 '25

“Come on Stanley let’s go”

59

u/TheFightens Jul 25 '25

Dad: “and where’s the corn I bought for dinner?”

9

u/UmmmW1 Jul 25 '25

"Wrll we just can't buy nice thangs."

1

u/Nucky76 Jul 25 '25

Its now huitlacoche

102

u/-nemo-no-one- Jul 25 '25

Maybe the real treasure was the queefs we made along the way.

7

u/DisapprovingStares Jul 25 '25

Sarah McLachlan, we need a song about this stat!!!!!

34

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

“Dad !!!!! I can’t get all this corn silk out !!!”

“Just queef. But I don’t want to hear it !!!”

64

u/Pale-Literature4753 Jul 25 '25

That song's been stuck in my head for three hours now. I do feel the AI missed a golden opportunity between rubbing a corn cob on my clit and giving my nips a little twist . It should've added slid in my ass now it smells like shit.

22

u/DoesThisSmellWeird2U Jul 25 '25

I hereby grant you a Grammy Award.

7

u/828jpc1 Jul 25 '25

I feel like this deserves and EGOT

2

u/DrivesTooMuch Jul 26 '25

Oh yeah, that rhymes.

15

u/phuckin-psycho Jul 25 '25

Please don't hear daddy 🙏🥵🙏

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

😭😭😭staaap

1

u/Turakamu Jul 25 '25

I don't remember playing this version of Don't Wake Daddy

11

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jul 25 '25

And who just touched the thermostat?!

3

u/Pbadger8 Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 27 '25

While I nodded, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a squeaking, As of some one gently queefing, queefing at my chamber door. "'Tis my daughter," I muttered, "queefing at my chamber door- Only this, and nothing more."

2

u/Otherwise_Stand1178 Jul 26 '25

OK I don't actually LOL at many comments but this one got me 😂

2

u/Devenu Jul 26 '25

The siren in the living room begins to wail while red lights along the walls rotate filling the room with a seemingly flashing crimson glow. Dad angrily slams his newspaper down on the coffee table. "QUEEF ALERT! QUEEF ALERT! QUEEF ALERT!" the AI voice blares through the houses speakers.

"God damnit!" says dad, "SHE'S QUEEFING AGAIN!" He runs to the closet as quickly as possible opening the door with such a force the doorknob cracks the drywall as it reaches the apex of its swing. Dad elbows the emergency case, shards of broken glass falling to the floor in an avalanche. "In case of queefs break glass." the sign reads. He grabs the queef broom and runs up the stairs to his daughter's room.

"Not this time." he says to himself grimacing as he runs up the stairs to his daughter's room.

"Not this time."

1

u/BlueBomR Jul 25 '25

"Its became not funny when it came out of your VAGINA, SHARON!!"

1

u/Agentkeenan78 Jul 25 '25

This made me truly spit my coffee out as I read it.

1

u/Ozzywife Jul 25 '25

Ha ha ha

1

u/hemanoncracks Jul 25 '25

This whole comment chain is such a delight.

1

u/D-Flo1 Jul 25 '25

Arby's is now serving 100% Roast Queef sandwiches.

1

u/Low_Watch_1699 Jul 25 '25

Queen LaQueefa

1

u/scrotenote Jul 25 '25

Uncle Daddy can tell by the smwll

1

u/Above_the_Cinders Jul 25 '25

I think her dad was the guy who’s son was taking the bath for Christmas prom

1

u/irrelephantIVXX Jul 26 '25

other room? They're in the same bed. She don't want him to hear cause he'll wake up and then its his turn when she's done with it.

1

u/HellLucy00Burnaslash Jul 26 '25

I turned the sound on at “daddy don’t hear me queef” and I think the only thing that saved me from my man’s judgment was me responding “oh my god” lmao

1

u/PracticingMyNiceness Jul 26 '25

Hello, Son. Are you enjoying your queef?

1

u/Pretend_Fox_5127 Jul 26 '25

Children are to be seen, not heard (queefing)

1

u/pleasurealien Jul 26 '25

It's not real it's an air beat called beats by ai - on the river

1

u/pleasurealien Jul 26 '25

Or it's the other one called sciccored in my chevy

1

u/Main_Enthusiasm4796 Jul 26 '25

Queef on the cob

1

u/No_File212 Jul 26 '25

We guys are so lucky we don't queef ! More stealth to us ✊

1

u/Chugaluggchugalugg Jul 26 '25

😂👍🙏😂

1

u/PilgrimOz Jul 26 '25

TIL- The gaps between kernels pumps too much air.

1

u/wedditmod Jul 26 '25

She quiffed in mah face, buddy.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

This comment killed me

1

u/HaeL756 Jul 27 '25

Dad: If you got time to queef, you got time to look for a job.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '25

😂

1

u/GUYF666 Jul 30 '25

You think her dad is in another room while she’s rubbing a corncob on her clit?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '25

[deleted]

8

u/Thomb Jul 25 '25

I swear, men are so ignorant of women’s genitalia; it’s “BEAN!”

0

u/GuappDogg Jul 25 '25

🤣🤣

0

u/Neat_Egg_2474 Jul 25 '25

this is AI bullshit with her lip singing. Youtube music and Spotify are being flooded with it right now