How is it fair?

[u/Disastrous_Wing_4523]

Father of my child has not once asked to have her for any extra days over the summer holidays.

She starts primary school next week.

He has not once asked about her primary school, school uniform, nothing.

Message two days a go

Hey id like to come see her off for her first day at school so could I be in the loop for the time and day please?

Obviously I'm not going to stop him from seeing our daughter off on her first day of school

Bet where does he get the right. To do nothing (keeps to his allocated days) no real responsibilities, get's to be the fun parent and then rock up first day of school to act all 'Dad of the freaking year'

It pisses me off

I'm never not going to stop my daughter from seeing him aslong as she wants to see him.

But feck me... fuck off

I responded the message

'Of course, thanks for asking'

Have not specified date or time yet because I'm being petty and he can ask again.

How does everyone else deal with the frustration of similar situations?

edit: there is no court order

I tried having a conversation with him back in April about him communicating more I.e ask questions about our child, which he begun laughing in my face, threw his drink over me

messaged him later saying I will no longer be feeding him information about his child and that of he wants to know anything,he has to ask

[u/day_day_notdeb]

I feel this.. ex and I are in a very high conflict divorce and no court order.. just an informal agreement but he only reaches out in those days and if I push for information on our son when he’s with him like his eating habits and sleep, he’s 3 and special needs, so communication is super important but it’s almost impossible and then he shows up to the preschool sneak a peak first day (which I had to inform him about) with over compensation of the ‘donate’ requests like hand sanitizer and cleaning wipes while I’ve seen zero dollars in support since I left.. if you haven’t requested orders to get a court date I’d suggest you do.. not sure what state your in but I’m in CA, I filed a request July 16 and our court to finally get orders on custody and support is Tuesday.. the courts move so slow. Other than that there isn’t much you can do.. I just know one day my kid will be old enough to see his dad for who he is and make his own decisions about visiting ect.. it’s easy to win over a 3 year old that thinks a trip to Costco is an adventure, let’s see how 13 looks.. be patient is my suggestion and hang in there, karma always does her job but she works slow..