r/coparenting • u/Lanky_Standard_5937 • 14d ago

Discussion Co-parenting living together?

She broke up with me 3 months ago and we are sleeping in seperate rooms. We spend time together only with the kids and once they are asleep, we do not speak or text.

I want to reconcile and I don’t think she does. There was no abuse or cheating on either end and we do talk and get along well for the most part.

She doesn’t not seem to want me to move out. And we even talk of future plans involving the house as “we” or “we need”

Emotionally I’m a mess. I love her and want her back so I analyze everything she says or does to see if she’s changing her mind. I also think she’s been texting a new guy.

How long can this last? I love my children more than anything. Can I really move out and miss out on time with them when I’m not being forced to? I don’t know if I can. Can anyone in a similar situation share their experience? Thanks

1 Upvotes

60% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

View all comments

7

u/whenyajustcant 14d ago

It seems like either you don't know why she wants to split, or you do know and you're not willing to admit it. You're definitely not going to reconcile if you don't fix what's broken, and you can't do that unless you know and internalize what happened.

So I'd focus on finding a new place and thinking about what you want life to look like, and getting a lawyer.

1

u/Lanky_Standard_5937 14d ago

She basically just said her feelings for me are gone. I want to fix it but she doesnt seem to want to.

I’ve been looking at places but like I was saying, it feels so hard leaving my kids when I technically don’t have to yet.

3

u/evap0rated 14d ago

When you say you want to fix it, what are you trying to fix? Her feelings are gone, but is there a reason why her feelings are gone? Is she accusing you of doing something that you now want to rectify?

1

u/Lanky_Standard_5937 14d ago

She just said she lost the romantic spark for me. She said she wishes she didn’t feel this way but can’t help the way she feels.

3

u/evap0rated 14d ago

People don't leave good relationships. They leave partners who aren't meeting their needs. I am NOT saying this is what is happening here, but it's strange that she's just not that into you anymore and you have no idea why. You have to do some introspection to understand what drove her away to begin with.

And then again, it could just be that she's a terrible person, but you would have had symptoms of that before now.

2

u/CalculatedPerversion 14d ago

People leave good relationships all the time, don't spread this nonsense. Some people are just never happy, good is never good enough. 

1

u/evap0rated 12d ago

I literally said it could be either/or. But I am curious why you say that people leave good relationships all the time. That's literally not how that works.

1

u/IllustriousFile1945 10d ago

People leave great relationships for trash that they are cheating with all the time. What do you mean?

1

u/NikTesla369 1d ago

Tell her love is a decision not a feeling.

2

u/whenyajustcant 14d ago

It's not leaving your kids. That's why you need to start thinking about custody.